Instinct 2
by
Nin Tendo
~ Disclaimer ~ 6_6 dum dee dum 9_9 ...I don't own Gundam Wing, or Ranma 1/2.
WARNING!!! If you like the traditional yaoi pairings, you will (probably) not like this fic, because I make fun of 1x2 and (to a lesser content) 3x4. There is also a freaky (alternate) yaoi ending with....original....pairings. It's at the end (and marked) so you can avoid it if you want to. n_n I changed the real ending because I scared myself....n_n There is also EXTREME OOC-ness, but it's intentional.
AN OUT TAKE FROM "INSTINCT" (minor Ranma 1/2 crossover. Believe it or not, this is actually the scene that inspired me to write "Instinct"! O.o)
Relena froze when Heero kissed her. It was as unexpected as the unbridled smile and passionate embrace. Relena's mind was sent into complete turmoil...
Until a reaction, deep within her subconsciousness, reared its ugly head. It could only be called a deeply buried instinct.
Relena pulled away sharply, glared at him, and shouted, "HEERO NO BAKA!!!" before unloading a fierce uppercut that sent Heero soaring over the rooftops.
Relena stalked away, muttering under her breath about that 'stupid hentai baka'. Suddenly, she froze in her tracks, gasped, and wondered what, exactly, had possessed her to do such a thing.
Meanwhile, Heero crashed through the roof of Duo's hanger, where he was staying. He grimaced, sat up, and went to his room. He turned on his laptop, and hacked into Relena's medical files, just to make sure she didn't have a serious mental condition.
Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, Heero got himself ready for bed, wondering about where Relena learned to punch. His jaw HURT.
If Heero had looked a little closer, he would have seen a large WARNING sign at the bottom.
Written beneath the sign were the words: Approach with extreme caution! Subject will react violently to ANY type of intimacy from the opposite sex. This may be the result of being the grandaughter, twenty-five generations removed, of one Akane Saotome. Maiden name: Tendo. Yes, THAT Akane Tendo. However, this condition will tone down in later years, completely disappearing by her early twenties. Until then, look, but don't touch.
(A/N: Bwahahahaha!!! Just a reminder: the 'instinct' is deeply buried, and didn't react until the kiss. Yeah, I know that the warning said "ANY type of intimacy", but that's just a precaution. She has, until now, never gotten close to a guy, so they're not taking any chances. ;p
(ANYWAY, ON WITH THE SEQUEL!!! ...For real this time. It's not related to the above)
THE NEXT DAY...
Duo was starting to get a little worried. Heero hadn't made it back last night. He didn't even know where he had gone, with his parting words being, "I need to cut some loose ends."
He couldn't be dead, Duo supposed. The kid had been practically BEGGING for his death from the very start. Every time that he had courted Death, she had stood him up (pun intended).
He could have possibly taken longer to 'cut loose ends' than he had estimated, but Duo really doubted that. Heero could blow up an entire military base in less than an hour. He could finish up 'loose ends' in a matter of minutes.
He could have gotten lucky. Duo snicked at the thought. As if. It probably didn't fit into his Perfect Soldier attitude. A major mission could pop up, and he couldn't get side-tracked, right?
The only reason that Duo could think of, was that he had received another mission, and was in over his head.
Not wanting to take any chances, Duo sent for the other Gundam pilots. A few minutes later, Duo briefed them on the situation.
"Is his Gundam still here?" Trowa asked.
"Yeah," Duo replied, "and that's why I want to know where he is. If he had brought his Gundam with him, I would just have to check for his signal. But he DIDN'T bring his Gundam, and he's been missing since last night!"
"He could have spent the night at a hotel..." Quatre suggested, worry lines starting to grow on his forehead.
"He would have called!" Duo protested. "And I checked all the hotels already!" He paused. "Geez, I'm starting to act like a worried parent, or something."
Wufei snorted. "Look," he said, "Yuy can take care of himself. He's probably on his way back as we speak. The 'loose ends' that he mentioned could have just been an excuse to escape Maxwell's smartass comments!!!"
"Hey!!" Duo shouted, indignant. "I resent that remark!"
Wufei smirked. "Exactly why I used it in the first place!"
Duo growled, and the other two pilots had to hold him back, lest Wufei be seriously injured, and unable to help them find Heero.
Duo, who was effectively restrained, decided to engage himself and 'Wu-man' in a shouting match instead. Wufei unhappily complied.
Things quickly got worse. Duo and Wufei weren't going to stop arguing for anything, and Quatre started shouting about a temporary truce, until they found the missing pilot.
Trowa hung back, rolling his eyes. It would take a miracle before they would shut up, and that miracle had to be pretty damn surprising at that.
Heero skipped into the room, happily humming, with a smile that seemed to wrap all he way around his head.
Silence (except for Heero's humming).
Heero paused in mid-skip. The other four Gundam pilots were staring at him as if he ad grown five extra heads (a sixth one out of his rear).
Duo's jaw hung open from an unfinished sentence. Without warning, it fell the rest of the way to the floor.
Wufei blinked. Then blinked again. And again. And again. And again. And again...
Quatre's eyes crossed, and he was down for the count.
Trowa's eyes popped out of his head. (Ow. And with those bangs, too...)
Heero's eyebrows scrunched together, in confusion (KAWAII!!! n_n), and he asked, "What? Is something wrong with my hair?" (O.O)
The (conscious) pilots continued to stare at him.
Heero blinked. "O...kay," he said, then peered into a small, handheld mirror that someone had convieniently placed on a nearby table. His hair was fine, but he was...wearing lipstick.
Heero giggled (KAWAII!!!x2 n_n), and left for the bathroom to clean himself up.
The (conscious) pilots fainted. (O.o That sentence is weird...)
THE NEXT DAY... (prepare for 1x2 and 3x4 bashing!!! I warning you, so you better not flame me for bashing these couples!!!)
Duo was certain that the events of yesterday were just a wacked out dream, telling that he REALLY needed a vacation.
There was NO way in hell that Heero would skip into a room, smiling, humming, and giggling. Hell would freeze over before Heero cracked a smile.
It was just a stupid dream, right?
Duo rubbed his eyes, and walked into his kitchen, intent on making himself breakfast, and forgetting the stupid dream that continued to play mind games with him.
Seeing Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei sitting at the table didn't help much.
Duo faked a grin. Maybe it was just a coinincidence? "Uh...hey, guys. Ah...what are you doing here?"
They ignored him. Trowa was reading a piece of paper, Quatre was staring into space with bloodshot eyes, and Wufei was quietly snickering.
Duo was about to repeat himself when Trowa turned to him, and said, "Well, we know why Heero's been acting so strange now."
Duo's smile crumbled away, and his eyes aquired a psychotic glint. He shook his head in denial, and mumbled, "No, no, no. It was just a friggin' dream. Heero DID NOT skip home, humming, smiling, giggling, and wearing lipstick! There's no way in hell."
Trowa blinked at him, then handed him a slip of paper.
"'To Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei'," Duo said, reading aloud. "'I apologize if I have worried you about my whereabouts yesterday and the night before. If you must know, I have been with Relena. I have aborted my mission to kill her. I now 'hug' and 'kiss' her, instead. We have gone on a 'date' today. I will be back by ten. PS: What's a 'date'? PPS: Something is wrong with my--" Duo cut himself off, staring at the sentence in embarrassment.
Wufei fell to the floor with a belly laugh. Hysterical, he gasped, "Who...would have...known....that Yuy was...so naive!!!"
Quatre just looked horrified, and Trowa cracked a smile.
(A/N: Here's the yaoi bashing, people!!! This is your last chance to press the "Back" button!!! No flames!!!)
Suddenly, Duo collapsed to the floor. "Why, Heero?!" he cried. "WHY?! Why did you go to Relena when you have ME?! TRAITOR!!! TWO-TIMER!!!" Duo paused. "O...kay...will someone please tell me what the hell I was just doing?!"
Since Wufei was still rolling around the floor, laughing, and Quatre was becoming increasingly more horrified by the second, so Trowa answered his question. "Just pretend that you didn't say anything. The Author is attempting to make fun of the yaoi, Heero/Duo fanfics."
Duo turned green. "Me and...Heero? HEERO?! Me and that suicidal maniac?! TOGETHER?! I'm going to puke!! Good-bye, cruel fanfiction!!" He grabbed a knife, and attempted to slice open his wrists. However, this fic IS classified as 'humor', so the knife turned out to be plastic. "INJUSTICE!" Duo screamed.
Wufei laughed just a little harder.
Quatre finally snapped out of his trance. He sighed, pried the plastic knife out of Duo's grip, and said, "You should be grateful. Sure, those sick-minded fanfiction authors occasionally pair you up with Heero, but there are INFINITE Trowa/Quatre flicks out there."
Trowa glared at Quatre. "As if I would ever fall in love with a wuss like you!!!"
Quatre burst into tears, and glomped the first person in range. Wufei, who stopped laughing, and glared at Trowa for the injustice.
Trowa rolled his eyes, and turned to the other pilot. "Are you alright, Duo?"
Duo was trying to chop off his head via plastic butcher knife. "I have no reason to live."
Trowa pulled a lollipop out of his pocket. "Does Duo wanna lolly?"
"LOLLY!!!" Duo cried, dropping the psuedo-knife, and happily plunging the lollipop into his gaping maw.
Trowa looked at Wufei, who was rapidly turning blue via Quatre. He sighed.
"Does Kitty wanna lolly?" ('Kitty' is my nickname for Quatre n_n)
"LOLLY!!!" Quatre cried, dropping Wufei, and happily punging the lollipop into his gaping maw.
(A/N: Bwahahaha!!! That makeshift ending is totally pathetic!!!! Bwahahaha!!!!
(HERE IS THE FREAKY YAOI ENDING! RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!)
Quatre burst into tears, and glomped Wufei, who stopped laughing, and glared at Trowa. "Wu-chan!" Quatre cried, "Trowa's being mean to me!"
Wufei put his arms around Quatre, and continued to glare at Trowa. "Forget that weakling onna, Kat-chan," he growled. "He's not worth the trouble. Besides, you have me."
Quatre calmed down, and mumered, "Okay, Wu-chan."
Trowa rolled is eyes, and turned to the other pilot. "Are you alright, Duo?"
Duo was trying to chop off his head via plastic butcher knife. "I have no reason to live."
Trowa bent down, and whispered into his ear, Come upstairs with me, and I'll GIVE you a reason to live."
Duo dropped the psuedo-knife and followed Trowa upstairs. After all, while Trowa and Wufei were still an item, Wufei couldn't stop telling him about how good Trowa was.
(sounds of the author retching in the background)
(OKAY! IT'S SAFE NOW! COME READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES!)
Author's Notes:
1. O.o o.o o.O That alternate yaoi ending will haunt my dreams forever. Don't bother flaming me about it. Dee Jay already beat me up....;_; (Dee Jay is my unknown friend, if you're wondering...)
2. I'm sorry if I offended yaoi lovers. I actually don't dislike yaoi as much as this fic says. But, I REALLY HATE 1x2!!!!! (3x4, 2x5, and other pairings, I tolerate). But, seriously, I may never write a yaoi fic. (This one does not count :p) If I do, it will only be 3x4, because there is proof. (There is no proof for 1x2, SO THERE!!! Nyah!!!! }:p)
3. Geez, my humor is turning a bit raunchy. I should seek help before it gets worse...
4. If you don't want to review, don't. If you want to flame, go right ahead.
by
Nin Tendo
~ Disclaimer ~ 6_6 dum dee dum 9_9 ...I don't own Gundam Wing, or Ranma 1/2.
WARNING!!! If you like the traditional yaoi pairings, you will (probably) not like this fic, because I make fun of 1x2 and (to a lesser content) 3x4. There is also a freaky (alternate) yaoi ending with....original....pairings. It's at the end (and marked) so you can avoid it if you want to. n_n I changed the real ending because I scared myself....n_n There is also EXTREME OOC-ness, but it's intentional.
AN OUT TAKE FROM "INSTINCT" (minor Ranma 1/2 crossover. Believe it or not, this is actually the scene that inspired me to write "Instinct"! O.o)
Relena froze when Heero kissed her. It was as unexpected as the unbridled smile and passionate embrace. Relena's mind was sent into complete turmoil...
Until a reaction, deep within her subconsciousness, reared its ugly head. It could only be called a deeply buried instinct.
Relena pulled away sharply, glared at him, and shouted, "HEERO NO BAKA!!!" before unloading a fierce uppercut that sent Heero soaring over the rooftops.
Relena stalked away, muttering under her breath about that 'stupid hentai baka'. Suddenly, she froze in her tracks, gasped, and wondered what, exactly, had possessed her to do such a thing.
Meanwhile, Heero crashed through the roof of Duo's hanger, where he was staying. He grimaced, sat up, and went to his room. He turned on his laptop, and hacked into Relena's medical files, just to make sure she didn't have a serious mental condition.
Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, Heero got himself ready for bed, wondering about where Relena learned to punch. His jaw HURT.
If Heero had looked a little closer, he would have seen a large WARNING sign at the bottom.
Written beneath the sign were the words: Approach with extreme caution! Subject will react violently to ANY type of intimacy from the opposite sex. This may be the result of being the grandaughter, twenty-five generations removed, of one Akane Saotome. Maiden name: Tendo. Yes, THAT Akane Tendo. However, this condition will tone down in later years, completely disappearing by her early twenties. Until then, look, but don't touch.
(A/N: Bwahahahaha!!! Just a reminder: the 'instinct' is deeply buried, and didn't react until the kiss. Yeah, I know that the warning said "ANY type of intimacy", but that's just a precaution. She has, until now, never gotten close to a guy, so they're not taking any chances. ;p
(ANYWAY, ON WITH THE SEQUEL!!! ...For real this time. It's not related to the above)
THE NEXT DAY...
Duo was starting to get a little worried. Heero hadn't made it back last night. He didn't even know where he had gone, with his parting words being, "I need to cut some loose ends."
He couldn't be dead, Duo supposed. The kid had been practically BEGGING for his death from the very start. Every time that he had courted Death, she had stood him up (pun intended).
He could have possibly taken longer to 'cut loose ends' than he had estimated, but Duo really doubted that. Heero could blow up an entire military base in less than an hour. He could finish up 'loose ends' in a matter of minutes.
He could have gotten lucky. Duo snicked at the thought. As if. It probably didn't fit into his Perfect Soldier attitude. A major mission could pop up, and he couldn't get side-tracked, right?
The only reason that Duo could think of, was that he had received another mission, and was in over his head.
Not wanting to take any chances, Duo sent for the other Gundam pilots. A few minutes later, Duo briefed them on the situation.
"Is his Gundam still here?" Trowa asked.
"Yeah," Duo replied, "and that's why I want to know where he is. If he had brought his Gundam with him, I would just have to check for his signal. But he DIDN'T bring his Gundam, and he's been missing since last night!"
"He could have spent the night at a hotel..." Quatre suggested, worry lines starting to grow on his forehead.
"He would have called!" Duo protested. "And I checked all the hotels already!" He paused. "Geez, I'm starting to act like a worried parent, or something."
Wufei snorted. "Look," he said, "Yuy can take care of himself. He's probably on his way back as we speak. The 'loose ends' that he mentioned could have just been an excuse to escape Maxwell's smartass comments!!!"
"Hey!!" Duo shouted, indignant. "I resent that remark!"
Wufei smirked. "Exactly why I used it in the first place!"
Duo growled, and the other two pilots had to hold him back, lest Wufei be seriously injured, and unable to help them find Heero.
Duo, who was effectively restrained, decided to engage himself and 'Wu-man' in a shouting match instead. Wufei unhappily complied.
Things quickly got worse. Duo and Wufei weren't going to stop arguing for anything, and Quatre started shouting about a temporary truce, until they found the missing pilot.
Trowa hung back, rolling his eyes. It would take a miracle before they would shut up, and that miracle had to be pretty damn surprising at that.
Heero skipped into the room, happily humming, with a smile that seemed to wrap all he way around his head.
Silence (except for Heero's humming).
Heero paused in mid-skip. The other four Gundam pilots were staring at him as if he ad grown five extra heads (a sixth one out of his rear).
Duo's jaw hung open from an unfinished sentence. Without warning, it fell the rest of the way to the floor.
Wufei blinked. Then blinked again. And again. And again. And again. And again...
Quatre's eyes crossed, and he was down for the count.
Trowa's eyes popped out of his head. (Ow. And with those bangs, too...)
Heero's eyebrows scrunched together, in confusion (KAWAII!!! n_n), and he asked, "What? Is something wrong with my hair?" (O.O)
The (conscious) pilots continued to stare at him.
Heero blinked. "O...kay," he said, then peered into a small, handheld mirror that someone had convieniently placed on a nearby table. His hair was fine, but he was...wearing lipstick.
Heero giggled (KAWAII!!!x2 n_n), and left for the bathroom to clean himself up.
The (conscious) pilots fainted. (O.o That sentence is weird...)
THE NEXT DAY... (prepare for 1x2 and 3x4 bashing!!! I warning you, so you better not flame me for bashing these couples!!!)
Duo was certain that the events of yesterday were just a wacked out dream, telling that he REALLY needed a vacation.
There was NO way in hell that Heero would skip into a room, smiling, humming, and giggling. Hell would freeze over before Heero cracked a smile.
It was just a stupid dream, right?
Duo rubbed his eyes, and walked into his kitchen, intent on making himself breakfast, and forgetting the stupid dream that continued to play mind games with him.
Seeing Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei sitting at the table didn't help much.
Duo faked a grin. Maybe it was just a coinincidence? "Uh...hey, guys. Ah...what are you doing here?"
They ignored him. Trowa was reading a piece of paper, Quatre was staring into space with bloodshot eyes, and Wufei was quietly snickering.
Duo was about to repeat himself when Trowa turned to him, and said, "Well, we know why Heero's been acting so strange now."
Duo's smile crumbled away, and his eyes aquired a psychotic glint. He shook his head in denial, and mumbled, "No, no, no. It was just a friggin' dream. Heero DID NOT skip home, humming, smiling, giggling, and wearing lipstick! There's no way in hell."
Trowa blinked at him, then handed him a slip of paper.
"'To Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei'," Duo said, reading aloud. "'I apologize if I have worried you about my whereabouts yesterday and the night before. If you must know, I have been with Relena. I have aborted my mission to kill her. I now 'hug' and 'kiss' her, instead. We have gone on a 'date' today. I will be back by ten. PS: What's a 'date'? PPS: Something is wrong with my--" Duo cut himself off, staring at the sentence in embarrassment.
Wufei fell to the floor with a belly laugh. Hysterical, he gasped, "Who...would have...known....that Yuy was...so naive!!!"
Quatre just looked horrified, and Trowa cracked a smile.
(A/N: Here's the yaoi bashing, people!!! This is your last chance to press the "Back" button!!! No flames!!!)
Suddenly, Duo collapsed to the floor. "Why, Heero?!" he cried. "WHY?! Why did you go to Relena when you have ME?! TRAITOR!!! TWO-TIMER!!!" Duo paused. "O...kay...will someone please tell me what the hell I was just doing?!"
Since Wufei was still rolling around the floor, laughing, and Quatre was becoming increasingly more horrified by the second, so Trowa answered his question. "Just pretend that you didn't say anything. The Author is attempting to make fun of the yaoi, Heero/Duo fanfics."
Duo turned green. "Me and...Heero? HEERO?! Me and that suicidal maniac?! TOGETHER?! I'm going to puke!! Good-bye, cruel fanfiction!!" He grabbed a knife, and attempted to slice open his wrists. However, this fic IS classified as 'humor', so the knife turned out to be plastic. "INJUSTICE!" Duo screamed.
Wufei laughed just a little harder.
Quatre finally snapped out of his trance. He sighed, pried the plastic knife out of Duo's grip, and said, "You should be grateful. Sure, those sick-minded fanfiction authors occasionally pair you up with Heero, but there are INFINITE Trowa/Quatre flicks out there."
Trowa glared at Quatre. "As if I would ever fall in love with a wuss like you!!!"
Quatre burst into tears, and glomped the first person in range. Wufei, who stopped laughing, and glared at Trowa for the injustice.
Trowa rolled his eyes, and turned to the other pilot. "Are you alright, Duo?"
Duo was trying to chop off his head via plastic butcher knife. "I have no reason to live."
Trowa pulled a lollipop out of his pocket. "Does Duo wanna lolly?"
"LOLLY!!!" Duo cried, dropping the psuedo-knife, and happily plunging the lollipop into his gaping maw.
Trowa looked at Wufei, who was rapidly turning blue via Quatre. He sighed.
"Does Kitty wanna lolly?" ('Kitty' is my nickname for Quatre n_n)
"LOLLY!!!" Quatre cried, dropping Wufei, and happily punging the lollipop into his gaping maw.
(A/N: Bwahahaha!!! That makeshift ending is totally pathetic!!!! Bwahahaha!!!!
(HERE IS THE FREAKY YAOI ENDING! RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!)
Quatre burst into tears, and glomped Wufei, who stopped laughing, and glared at Trowa. "Wu-chan!" Quatre cried, "Trowa's being mean to me!"
Wufei put his arms around Quatre, and continued to glare at Trowa. "Forget that weakling onna, Kat-chan," he growled. "He's not worth the trouble. Besides, you have me."
Quatre calmed down, and mumered, "Okay, Wu-chan."
Trowa rolled is eyes, and turned to the other pilot. "Are you alright, Duo?"
Duo was trying to chop off his head via plastic butcher knife. "I have no reason to live."
Trowa bent down, and whispered into his ear, Come upstairs with me, and I'll GIVE you a reason to live."
Duo dropped the psuedo-knife and followed Trowa upstairs. After all, while Trowa and Wufei were still an item, Wufei couldn't stop telling him about how good Trowa was.
(sounds of the author retching in the background)
(OKAY! IT'S SAFE NOW! COME READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTES!)
Author's Notes:
1. O.o o.o o.O That alternate yaoi ending will haunt my dreams forever. Don't bother flaming me about it. Dee Jay already beat me up....;_; (Dee Jay is my unknown friend, if you're wondering...)
2. I'm sorry if I offended yaoi lovers. I actually don't dislike yaoi as much as this fic says. But, I REALLY HATE 1x2!!!!! (3x4, 2x5, and other pairings, I tolerate). But, seriously, I may never write a yaoi fic. (This one does not count :p) If I do, it will only be 3x4, because there is proof. (There is no proof for 1x2, SO THERE!!! Nyah!!!! }:p)
3. Geez, my humor is turning a bit raunchy. I should seek help before it gets worse...
4. If you don't want to review, don't. If you want to flame, go right ahead.