A/N: My spellchecker almost exploded when I ran this baby through…and
I meant my mental spellchecker. Dear Lord, two pages of otterspeak!
Augh!
Lots o' creatures 'ave
called me lots o' things, and one o' them things is crazy. But I
swear I ain't crazy no more, on me affydavit I do. But if'n yer want
to know what 'appened ter me, rest yore flippers awhile an' I'll tell you,
matey.
Ain't no kits around,
are there? Good. This story ain't fit fer young 'uns' ears.
'Twas seasons an'
seasons ago. 'Ow many, I'm not too shore, bein' as I was sick fer
s'long, but I do remember the vermin attack on me 'olt. I reckon
it'd be 'ard fer me to fergit it. Nasty-lookin' corsairs, those vermin
was, armed t'the fangs an' lookin' fer blood. They was led by a ferret
named Sinez, and they came t'our 'olt lookin' fer an easy target.
Well, me brother an' I chased 'em off, after givin' 'em a sound whalin'
o' course. I figured that if'n we didn't finish off the rest of 'em,
they'd jus' come back, but Tungro – 'e's me brother, y'see – well, 'e didn't
see it that way. An' th' rest o' th' 'olt wouldn't lissen ter me.
I got mad an' said some things I shouldn't 'ave, then stormed off to try
an' look for the vermin meself. I shouldn't 'ave done that, either,
but I allus was the stubborn one in me fam'ly, bein' the smallest of two
brothers, y'see.
After a couple days trackin' through Mossflower, I finally caught up
with what was left o' the corsairs – includin' Sinez, 'o'd escaped.
I'd killed a couple of 'is remainin' crew, and 'ad the filthy ferret by
'is neck when one o' 'em knocked me out from be'ind with a chunk o' wood,
the cowardly vermin.
When I woke up, me
'ead was poundin' somethin' 'orrible, an' I was tied to a tree, Sinez wantin'
to 'ave 'is bit o' fun, see. Vermin are allus the same, leastways,
that's wot I think, an' that's why I 'ate 'em.
I jus' don't like thinkin' about it, but since yer wantin' ter know,
I'll tell yer. Sinez an' 'is vermin beat me 'orrible, 'urt me fer
days, an' that's why I've got these scars all o'er me. But that ain't
the worst thing they did ter me. They broke one o' me legs, beatin'
me, but that still ain't the worst thing they did ter me.
One o' 'em, a rat, I think,
jumped on me and put me eye out wi' 'is dagger. 'Twas the first 'un
of 'em to get close ter me, an' I was near about crazy wi' pain by then,
so I bit 'is throat out, made 'im screech 'orrible like an' all.
That made Sinez mad, and then 'e made me…
'Tis almost too 'orrible
to repeat, matey…but Sinez made me eat th' dead rat. I never 'ave
gotten rid o' that, though I 'ave gotten a liddle better 'ere lately…but
I'll tell yer more about that in a minute.
They did let me go, an'
I crawled back to me 'olt and me fam'ly. I was 'urt, an' 'urt bad,
but I did get better…least, me body got better, 'cept for the eye and a
limp. But me mind was sick, an' me brother banished me from the 'olt
fer things I did, one o' them things bein' killin' vermin an' eatin' 'em.
I recall 'ow I'd also go out at night an' 'aunt the paths near the 'olt,
makin' shore there weren't no vermin amongst 'em. I also did somethin'
ter meself, sharpened m'teeth, though exactly why I couldn't tell yer now.
I started sayin' some 'orrible
things back then, and the other otters 'ated me fer it – I think they still
do, though they don't show it ter me. 'Orrible things, I'd say.
Tungro kept banishin' me and then takin' me back to th' 'olt – I 'ate that
I caused 'im s'much trouble, but I was sick then, didn't know what I was
doin'. Worst part was that 'e'd 'ave to jump on me with some o' th'
'olt an' take me back tied up, 'cause I wouldn't go just on 'is command,
or even if 'e pleaded an' begged.
This'd been going on fer
awhile now, me gettin' meself banished, and Tungro takin' me back in ter
the 'olt like that, 'cos I'd do stuff that was bad an' unnatural, strange
stuff that wasn't me fault. 'Cos o' th' vermin, y'see. Wasn't
ever meant fer an otter ter…never mind that.
I remember th' day I met
liddle Chugger better'n a lot o' days I've 'ad, on account o' m'sickness.
Tungro 'ad tied me up again an' was takin' me back 'ome – 'twas always
more 'is 'ome than mine – and along the way, we met some gennelbeasts takin'
a trip up north. I 'ad seen these same gennelbeasts that mornin'
'cos I came inter their camp askin' for flint an' tinder fer a cookin'
fire. They musta 'id the liddle squirrel, Chugger, an' the 'ogmaid,
Trimp, an' I don't blame 'em fer that. I shouldn't 'ave been doin'
what I was doin', but like I said afore, I was sick in the 'ead.
Well, after Tungro brought
me inter the traveller's camp, 'e tried ter get me ter eat some brekkist.
'E always did, and that time I amember bein' resentful that 'e'd robbed
me o' m'prey earlier that mornin'. Not ter 'arp on that, 'cos I really
don't like ter.
Pore Tungro, 'e tried 'is
best, an' I still wouldn't eat. But then somethin' 'appened ter me
– every day, I thank th' good Lord it did, 'cos it 'elped me like I didn't
know it would. That liddle rogue Chugger, the orphaned squirrelbabe,
'e said that if'n I didn't eat up m'brekkist, 'e'd eat it up fer me.
Well, I couldn't let that liddle squirrel eat up a big pasty and pop 'isself,
so I did as I was told fer once. 'E was nice ter me, fetchin' mint
tea fer me an' everythin', liddle impident rip though 'e was. 'E
was nicer ter me than anybeast 'ad been in a while, and I think it fixed
my 'ead troubles. Leastways I didn't 'ave trouble thinkin' right
arter that liddle feller got 'old of me, an' that was sayin' somethin'
ter what I'd been doin' b'fore. Well, soon enough me brother wanted
t'take me 'ome – like I've said, 'twas more 'is than mine – but Chugg wouldn't
let 'im, 'e carried on wailin' an' weepin'. An' I 'opes yew won't
think I'm soft if'n I tell yer I bawled right 'long with the babe, 'cos
'twas s'sad leavin' 'im an' all. That'n Martin, 'e's one o' th' gennelbeasts,
and a warrior too, 'e tol' Tungro 'e'd look arter me. 'E's the one
wot freed me o' the ropes Tungro'd 'ad ter put me in ter bring me back
ter th' 'olt. I'm glad 'e did, y'see, 'cos on account o' liddle Chugger
I c'd think straight. I went with 'em, 'ad some adventures, good
'uns this time, but yew'd 'ear th' story better from Martin or one o' th'other
gennelbeasts wot went wi' 'im on 'is quest. But that's wot 'appened
ter me, an' if somebeasts want ter think I'm still crazy…well, I reckon
I can't stop 'em. But now at least yew know wot I went through, tryin'
ter keep vermin 'way from me 'ome.