Just Desserts
by Shade
Disclaimer: Obviously the characters here aren't mine.
But you didn't need me to tell you that did you?
~~~~~~~~~~
At last! At long last!!
Here was the solution to all of her problems!
Her very own magic lamp, complete with genie!
Akane Tendo was almost beside herself with glee.
Even though the lamp wasn't really hers, it wasn't
like anyone would blame her for sneaking up on an
unsuspecting Happosai and clobbering him with one
of her barbells before he could use it. She didn't see
it as theft, the old letch had probably ripped it off from
someone else a long time ago and since the chances of
finding the original owner were nonexistant, it was only
right that she use it before someone else with less worthy
intentions did.
Picking the empty lot next to her house for plan,
Akane pulled out the dull bronze oil lamp and
started rubbing furiously along its side with her hand.
From the spout issued a blast of grey smoke that coalesced
into a balding middle aged man that looked and smelled like
he had never heard of the concept of proper hygene.
He took one look at the coughing and gagging girl holding
his lamp and threw his hands up in digusted resignation.
"Oh great, another one. Not enough to marry him to a red head,
the Kami had to make him a seller of women's footgear. And when
that wasn't sufficent, had to give him two kids to mock all of his
failures in life. But when I'm just at death's door, about to escape,
the Kami decide to have some more fun and imprison me in a stinking
bottle and force me to hand out wishes to the first idiot that rubs it."
He shook his fists impotently at the Heavens.
"What did I ever do to you to deserve this?!!"
Akane finally got over her initial disgust enough
to start talking again.
"Who are you anyway?"
"I'm Al. Al Bun Dee, former seller of women's sandals and now
eternally damned to be the slave of this stupid lamp. It's almost
like being married again, except without the wife. Gee, maybe this
isn't such a bad thing after all..."
"So I get three wishes?"
"Yeah, so hurry up. If I hurry I can still
make it to the Nudie Bar's early bird special."
Fortunately for him, all the impatient girl heard with her
selective hearing was that she was indeed getting her
wishes granted.
"Then I wish that I was twice as good a martial artist as I am now!"
Al casually snapped his fingers together.
"Your wish is granted."
*Poof*
"Hey!! Why do I look like Ukyo?!"
"That's what you wished for. I turned you into a
martial artist that was twice as good as you."
"Ukyo is NOT a better fighter then ME!!"
The genie gave her a weird look.
"Who said anything about fighting?"
"CANCEL THE WISH!!!"
"Okay! Okay!! Just stop with the scary big head thing!!"
Once Akane had been restored back to her normal
uncute appearence she tried to figure out what had
gone wrong.
{Maybe I need to set my standards higher.}
"Fine then! I wish I was ten times better
a martial artist then I used to be!!"
*Poof*
"Arghh!! Why do I look like that bimbo Shampoo now?!"
"Well, you wished that..."
Her gaze of death dared him to finish that statement.
"Um...I guess you want to cancel this one too?"
"YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!!"
Akane couldn't figure where she'd gone wrong.
She knew that she was the best martial artist in Nerima except for Ranma...
Ranma.
That was it! If she was better then Ranma...
Never let it be said that Akane Tendo didn't learn from her mistakes.
"I wish that I was a hundred...no, a thousand times better a martial artist then Ranma!"
Because she never did.
"Uh..are you *really* sure you want to do that?"
"JUST DO IT!!"
Al paled.
"Fine. But remember, *you* were the one who wanted this, not me."
He snapped his fingers.
*Poof*
And there stood Cologne.
-The End
The moral of this story:
"You always get what you deserve."
by Shade
Disclaimer: Obviously the characters here aren't mine.
But you didn't need me to tell you that did you?
~~~~~~~~~~
At last! At long last!!
Here was the solution to all of her problems!
Her very own magic lamp, complete with genie!
Akane Tendo was almost beside herself with glee.
Even though the lamp wasn't really hers, it wasn't
like anyone would blame her for sneaking up on an
unsuspecting Happosai and clobbering him with one
of her barbells before he could use it. She didn't see
it as theft, the old letch had probably ripped it off from
someone else a long time ago and since the chances of
finding the original owner were nonexistant, it was only
right that she use it before someone else with less worthy
intentions did.
Picking the empty lot next to her house for plan,
Akane pulled out the dull bronze oil lamp and
started rubbing furiously along its side with her hand.
From the spout issued a blast of grey smoke that coalesced
into a balding middle aged man that looked and smelled like
he had never heard of the concept of proper hygene.
He took one look at the coughing and gagging girl holding
his lamp and threw his hands up in digusted resignation.
"Oh great, another one. Not enough to marry him to a red head,
the Kami had to make him a seller of women's footgear. And when
that wasn't sufficent, had to give him two kids to mock all of his
failures in life. But when I'm just at death's door, about to escape,
the Kami decide to have some more fun and imprison me in a stinking
bottle and force me to hand out wishes to the first idiot that rubs it."
He shook his fists impotently at the Heavens.
"What did I ever do to you to deserve this?!!"
Akane finally got over her initial disgust enough
to start talking again.
"Who are you anyway?"
"I'm Al. Al Bun Dee, former seller of women's sandals and now
eternally damned to be the slave of this stupid lamp. It's almost
like being married again, except without the wife. Gee, maybe this
isn't such a bad thing after all..."
"So I get three wishes?"
"Yeah, so hurry up. If I hurry I can still
make it to the Nudie Bar's early bird special."
Fortunately for him, all the impatient girl heard with her
selective hearing was that she was indeed getting her
wishes granted.
"Then I wish that I was twice as good a martial artist as I am now!"
Al casually snapped his fingers together.
"Your wish is granted."
*Poof*
"Hey!! Why do I look like Ukyo?!"
"That's what you wished for. I turned you into a
martial artist that was twice as good as you."
"Ukyo is NOT a better fighter then ME!!"
The genie gave her a weird look.
"Who said anything about fighting?"
"CANCEL THE WISH!!!"
"Okay! Okay!! Just stop with the scary big head thing!!"
Once Akane had been restored back to her normal
uncute appearence she tried to figure out what had
gone wrong.
{Maybe I need to set my standards higher.}
"Fine then! I wish I was ten times better
a martial artist then I used to be!!"
*Poof*
"Arghh!! Why do I look like that bimbo Shampoo now?!"
"Well, you wished that..."
Her gaze of death dared him to finish that statement.
"Um...I guess you want to cancel this one too?"
"YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!!!"
Akane couldn't figure where she'd gone wrong.
She knew that she was the best martial artist in Nerima except for Ranma...
Ranma.
That was it! If she was better then Ranma...
Never let it be said that Akane Tendo didn't learn from her mistakes.
"I wish that I was a hundred...no, a thousand times better a martial artist then Ranma!"
Because she never did.
"Uh..are you *really* sure you want to do that?"
"JUST DO IT!!"
Al paled.
"Fine. But remember, *you* were the one who wanted this, not me."
He snapped his fingers.
*Poof*
And there stood Cologne.
-The End
The moral of this story:
"You always get what you deserve."