Part 7
"Obi-Wan!"
Qui-Gon tenderly cupped his Padawan's cold face in his hands, pressing his palms to the pale cheeks, trying to warm them. The Master quickly looked around and, finding a blanket laying forgotten against a wall, placed it over the still form of his apprentice and tucked it carefully around him. Time was fast slipping away, every critical second took Obi-Wan further and further away from his desperate Master. And try as he might, Qui-Gon was still unable to reach through their bond, unable to reach the young man's consciousness, unable to sense even the slightest flicker of Obi-Wan's light. He desperately wanted to bring him back.
Placing his forehead on his Padawan's, Qui-Gon searched within himself to find that part that was Obi-Wan - Obi-Wan's essence, Obi-Wan's warmth. But all he could feel was utter cold, darkness and unfathomable despair, all encased behind a wall of darkness. A wall erected by Kiza's dark powers. It thoroughly surrounded his apprentice's essence, preventing him from reaching Obi-Wan, and preventing Obi-Wan from reaching out.
Qui-Gon struggled against the dark barrier, pressing again and again from every angle that he could think of. But, every time he managed to find a weakness in the wall and pushed against it, a whirlpool of cold, crackling energy would swirl around and through the chink that Qui-Gon had created, closing and reinforcing the barrier once again.
Within the darkness, Qui-Gon repeatedly called out to his apprentice, trying to yell past the howling, whirling maelstrom that surrounded him, and keeping any response from being heard. Apparently, the shield's purpose was to keep the boy unconscious, as well as preventing him from putting up any kind of resistance. What Qui-Gon couldn't understand is why the barrier had remained after Kiza's death. What was feeding it, and why was he unable to penetrate
the barrier? One thing he was sure of, he couldn't give up, would never give up. This was Obi-Wan, this was his son.
Instinctively, Qui-Gon knew that Obi-Wan had been without breathing for far too long. If he didn't succeed in getting his apprentice's body to respond soon, Obi-Wan would truly be lost to him. Qui-Gon fought against the despair clawing at him. /Stop it, Jinn! You don't have the time to think this way. *Obi-Wan* doesn't have the time!/
Reaching out and using all of his remaining power reserves, Qui-Gon attempted again and again to breach any part of the shield that held his Padawan prisoner -- without result. As seconds quickly ticked by, the Master momentarily discontinued his assault, trying to find the strength to continue further. He was past the point of fatigue, past the point of pain, and dark doubts again begin to eat away at him. He wasn't strong enough, good enough to save his apprentice.
Qui-Gon wearily dropped his head onto one of the Obi-Wan's small, soft shoulder. He had failed Obi-Wan, failed his Padawan. Kiza had been right, he was a failure as a Master. He had allowed himself to become distracted, to allow the past to control him. And now, Obi-Wan was paying the price.
Touching the coldness of his Padawan's cheek with his own, Qui-Gon bowed his head in momentary surrender, tears of sorrow flowing from beneath his closed lids, running, unhindered, down his cheeks.
He had lost Obi-Wan. Lost the most important person in his life, forever. Agony tore through the Master as he realized he was never going to hear Obi-Wan laugh again, never going to watch him grow, never see him become a Knight. Obi-Wan was just beginning to live and enjoy life at sixteen, but now that life had been cut short, losing that most precious gift. And he, Qui-Gon, was the one who was responsible for that loss.
//Forgive me, my Obi-Wan.// he thought, sorrow clutching at his chest, //Forgive your foolish, old Master. Please forgive me.//
His voice hitched in hot pain as he felt the bond, his precious link with his son, begin to break and unravel, making Obi-Wan slip further and further away. Qui-Gon felt as if his heart were slowly being torn apart - excruciatingly slow - the pain clawing at his very soul. He shook his head slowly back and forth, trying to deny the tears as he gulped in air, trying to control his aching grief.
A soft rustle of fabric and then a few soft taps echoed throughout the room.
Qui-Gon raised his head and opened his tear-filled eyes to find Master Yoda standing on the opposite side of the altar. Yoda's eyes were serene, but filled with sadness and fatigue. "Touched by the Dark, Obi-Wan has, " he said wearily, "Perhaps too strong, the dark creature was, for your Padawan to resist."
"No!" Qui-Gon yelled, his voice angrily echoing around the chamber, "No. Obi-Wan fought him, fought him with all his strength, and I know he would *never* give in to the Dark Side!" the Master stated vehemently, one long arm draped protectively over Obi-Wan's chest. "Because of my own blind stupidity, I lost Xanatos to the darkness, and I almost lost myself as well. Obi-Wan will not fall, will *never* fall, to the Dark. Even if I have to fight every dark creature during my every waking hour and during my sleep, Obi-Wan will not fall. He will always be of the Light." The Master's voice lowered as he looked into the sleeping face which now looked to be made out of fine marble. Qui-Gon sadly brushed at a teardrop that rested on his Padawan's temple.
"Then", Master Yoda replied as he placed a small, clawed hand on Qui-Gon's arm, "trust the Force to lead you. Guide you, it will, to what will be. The Force's will is what *is*, fight it you can not. But Darkness fight, you can. And in this, help you I will," Yoda's eyes sparkled with renewed energy.
The small Jedi Master reached forward and, placing both hands over Obi-Wan's heart, closed his eyes as he called upon the Force. Slowly, he began to repeatedly press and release upon the boy's delicate rib cage, coaxing the still heart muscle to intake and eject the life-giving fluid. Using a light tendril of the Force, the small Master guided the flow of blood as it coursed forward through the young apprentice's body. At the same time, he initiated a force-spark within the muscle itself, causing the heart to begin contracting and beating once more.
Feeling the Force once again singing through his Padawan's body, Qui-Gon quickly tilted Obi-Wan's head and began breathing air into his lungs. Steadily, he maintained a rhythm, continuing to breathe into the young man's body until his Padawan's natural motor responses began to take over.
A short feeling of relief swept over Qui-Gon as he observed his Padawan's body responding to his and Yoda's administrations. But, even as he looked into Yoda's upraised eyes, he knew the hard part was still to come.
Waiting patiently, Qui-Gon watched as Master Yoda removed his hands from Obi-Wan's chest, placed one hand on the crown of the young man's head, and the second over his breast bone. At Yoda's nod, Qui-Gon placed his forehead on his apprentice's, and allowed the Force to guide him.
Again, the Master found himself within the cold and violent maelstrom, but this time he was not alone. Like a green beacon, Yoda guided both of them into the vortex of the storm and called upon the Force. As waves of green light radiated in all directions from the diminutive Master, Qui-Gon openedhimself completely, allowing the Force to fill him, to become him, his own green essence flowing out and combining with those of his Master.
Thinking as one, Yoda and Qui-Gon unleashed their powers on the bulk of the dark barrier, darkness and light entwining, repelling and clashing against each other as the vortex screamed and increased in intensity from the combined energies. Both Yoda and Qui-Gon were lashed and buffeted by the violent churning of the primal power that hungrily surrounded them, but they remained steadfast, unwilling to lose concentration for even a moment. Little by little, bit by bit, portions of the barrier began losing cohesion. Pieces, large and small, were picked up by the turbulent winds and were then thrown against the very shield they had been a part.
"Call to your Padawan, Qui-Gon, " Yoda's thought pierced through the raging vortex, "Call him, you must. Hear you, he can. Knows you best of all through the Force. Call him!"
As Yoda continued to focus on the crumbling wall, Qui-Gon opened himself further to the Force, summoning his will, his training, his own life essence, and began calling to the one who meant more than life itself. "Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon called out with voice, mind and body. "Padawan! Come to me. I am here for you, to help you, to bring you back. Obi-Wan! Reach out for me!"
As large chunks of the wall began disintegrating under Yoda's and Qui-Gon's continued assault, beams of brilliant blue light began filtering through the gaps, reaching towards them, bathing them in warm welcome. The lights of green and the light of blue began expanding, forcing the darkness away, quieting the roar of the vortex as they danced and swirled in gentle communion, a soft sound of chimes replacing the roar of darkness. Slowly, a loud quiet settled around the tired Masters, both very grateful for the light, warmth, and quiet which now touched and cradled them.
Qui-Gon and Yoda watched as a portion of the swirling blue began to form and concentrate in front of Qui-Gon, and then solidified into a soft, warm ball. Qui-Gon tenderly reached forward and clasped the warm softness to his chest.
Qui-Gon opened his eyes to see Master Yoda's tired but smiling eyes looking up at him. He then looked down and saw his Padawan's rib cage slowly expanding and contracting as he held Obi-Wan in his arms. The Master gently touched a cheek that had remained pale, but which was slowly being colored by a light tinge of pink. He frowned slightly as a cough began running through his apprentice's body, shaking the slight form almost painfully.
"Take him to the healers, you will," Master Yoda told him. "Hurry, you must. Saved his soul, we did, but your small Padawan's body must be healed as well. Go," the small tired Master prompted him with a wave of his hand, "Help your Padawan to heal, as heal you both must be."
Qui-Gon looked at his Master, tears of joy shining in his eyes. Reaching down, he tucked the blanket carefully around his unconscious apprentice, and headed in the direction of the doorway. Pausing for a moment, he looked back at the small Jedi Master who had fought so hard for both him and his Padawan. Yoda simply leaned on his gimmer stick, and smiled.
Qui-Gon smiled back, tears flowing freely down his face. Turning and holding his precious bundle tightly to his chest, Qui-Gon quickly headed for the Healers wing of the Temple.
******
Obi-Wan slowly began regaining consciousness. He struggled against waking as it dragged him from the soft comfort of dreamless sleep. He groaned painfully as his body protested against his sudden movement. How was itpossible that his *whole* body could hurt like this? It even hurt to breathe.
Then he began remembering...
He remembered how Master Skyla had treated him, punished him for the slightest infraction, and had physically, and brutally, hurt him. And, he recalled what Master Skyla had said about Qui-Gon. That Qui-Gon had left the Temple because of him, because he couldn't stand to be Obi-Wan's Master. Obi-Wan's throat constricted at the painful memories. He didn't know what hurt more, his physical injuries, or knowing that he was not wanted.
Head slightly pounding in pain, Obi-Wan cautiously shifted his head to the side. Where was he now? He was apparently in bed because he could feel the pillow beneath his head and the sheets against his body. But where was he? The last thing he recalled before blacking out was Master Skyla holding him...except that it hadn't been Master Skyla after all. It had turned out to be someone else, someone with a different voice, someone who had held him and, surprisingly, soothed him to sleep. As hard as he tried, he couldn't remember anything after hearing that strange voice following him into darkness.
Daring to open his eyes, he found himself in a dimly lighted room. A small lamp stood by his bedside, casting a soft glow around him. Obi-Wan blinked wearily as he took a closer look at the room. This was definitely not his bedroom. After a few moments, he recognized it as being one of the many rooms in the Healer's section of the Temple. He had been admitted way too many times not to be able to recognize this familiar place.
"You're awake," a soft female voice said as a gentle hand reached down through his weat-dampened hair.
Turning his sleepy eyes in the direction of the voice, he discovered Master Depa Billaba sitting on a chair beside his bed. But, why was she here? And where was his Master? A Master was supposed to be at his Padawan's side. Wasn't he?
"I'm sure you were expecting to see your Master here but, I'm sorry, he had to leave," Depa explained with a soft, musical voice, tucking the blankets very carefully around the still-drowsy Padawan.
/Yes, of course he had to leave,/ the young man thought to himself, a twinge of pain shooting through his chest.
Without uttering a word, Obi-Wan rolled slowly over onto his side, away from the Master, wincing as his sore, aching body yelled at the shift in weight. But he was unable to sleep, unable to find the peace that would allow him to rest. The tired apprentice simply stared into nothingness, bitter tears falling from his blue-green eyes as he recalled the words that Master Skyla had said to him, about himself and about Master Qui-Gon.
Depa sadly looked at the huddled form in front of her. The boy had been through such a horrendous ordeal, injured in both mind and body. He had gone through something that no one, especially a child, should be forced to experience. And it did not surprise her that the boy would exhibit this type of behavior, one which was apparently being aggravated by the absence of his Master.
The Council member stroked the boy's arm, giving him a light squeeze, "Would you like to be left alone to sleep, Obi-Wan?"
She looked at the back of his head as he nodded slowly. "Okay. Try to rest now. You went through quite an ordeal. You were in a Bacta tank, healing for two days. And you've been unconscious for the last two."
Four days?! He had been unconscious for four days? He choked as he felt a sob developing in his throat. He had lay in the Healer's ward for four days, and his Master hadn't even been at his side for one day? Obi-Wan coughed slightly as his throat constricted, Master Skyla's words continuing to repeat in his mind, "He left because of you!"
Obi-Wan sunk deeper into the pillow, the soft material becoming wet with tears. He bit down on his knuckles as he curled into a ball, a sudden realization hitting him. Then, it was true. His Master had really left him, had abandoned him. He wasn't wanted. He wasn't loved.
Depa slowly got up from the chair and turned off the light. The room was soon filled with the night's soft blue light, and stray beams from Coruscant's air traffic bounced fluidly against the walls. The Master turned momentarily to look back at the small Padawan, then she gently closed the door.
Obi-Wan sobbed silently as he heard the door click closed. He felt alone, so very alone. He softly choked and coughed as he allowed his emotions to run their course. Finally, spent, tired, feeling hopeless and very small, Obi-Wan began falling into the soft arms of sleep. Before surrendering completely to the soothing touch of unconsciousness, he gently pulled the pillow alongside his body, placed his tear-stained cheek against the top, and hugged the remainder against his chest.
"Master," he called out softly as he sought comfort from the cool softness in his arms.
*****
The following day was as uneventful and uncertain as the one before. Obi-Wan was now very sure that Master Qui-Gon would not be coming back. Ever.
As he lay resting, a small ray of hope flashed within his heart when he felt the presence of someone sitting by his bedside. As he opened his eyes, he momentarily thought that he saw his Master's blue eyes smiling down at him. But, as his vision cleared, he found himself looking instead into the soft brown eyes of Master Windu. The Master smiled and began speaking softly to the Padawan, telling him just how proud they all were of his struggle with the dark creature.
As Obi-Wan partially listened to the Master's words, he began wondering about his future. What did happen to apprentices abandoned by their Masters? Would he still continue to be a Padawan? Would the Council assign him a new Master, and would that Master be willing to take him as his apprentice?
A deep sadness swept over him as he recalled what Master Skyla had said - that no Master would take him as a Padawan. Of course, if the Council ordered a Master to accept him, then he would become that person's apprentice. Obi-Wan hugged himself in sorrow. He had no wish to become an apprentice under those conditions; to be assigned to a Master who was forced by the Council to accept him.
Distantly, he heard Master Windu asking him questions, trying to coax him into conversation. But Obi-Wan just shook his head sadly and leaned back against the pillow. He still tired easily, and his physical injuries, although healing rapidly, still hurt when he moved. But every time he would think about his Master, the sadness would overwhelm him and he would shut himself off, giving in to despair.
Mace sighed. No one had been able maintain a decent conversation with the boy since he had awoken two days ago. The Padawan would simply look down, or try to focus on the person talking, but there would be either little or no response. The situation reminded Mace quite a bit of a precocious three-year-old boy who had the same habit of shutting himself off. He had hoped that the boy would have outgrown the habit by now, but apparently, that would take time.
Mace looked up as his thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. The Master stood up to answer and found a nurse with a tray in her hand, smiling cordially up at him. She bowed in greeting at the Master as she entered the room and headed towards Obi-Wan's bedside.
"It's time for dinner, Obi-Wan," she said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. Carefully placing the tray on the small table, she approached the sad looking Padawan to see how he was doing. After a short and routine physical examination, she smiled in satisfaction. The boy was recovering quicker than expected. But he had still not eaten sufficiently enough in the last two days. He had refused to eat solid food and had, instead, sipped only juice and water.
Sitting on the edge on the bed and placing the tray containing a bowl of soup and glass of water on her lap, the nurse turned to the apprentice, "All right, would you like to eat this by yourself, or would you like me to help you?" she asked, smiling good-naturedly.
Obi-Wan looked down and then turned his head away from the nurse.
"Obi-Wan," the nurse reached out to touch his hand, "you need to eat. What would Master Qui-Gon think when he returns and finds that you haven't eaten anything?"
Obi-Wan managed to glare briefly at the nurse, and then slowly rolled over on his side, his back turned towards the surprised Master and nurse, waves of hopelessness and despair radiating from him.
Mace frowned in confusion at Obi-Wan's reaction. The Padawan had always been a polite boy, and this behavior was highly uncharacteristic of him. He wondered what could have possibly been the cause of so much misery, and why was it affecting the apprentice so deeply? Mace understood that Obi-Wan would be expected to go through periods of depression, mood swings, and sleepless nights because of what he had been forced to endure, but that had happened four days ago, and still the Padawan displayed no outward signs of improvement. He had been seen by two different counselors who were sent to help him with any emotional fallout, but the apprentice had continued to remain closed and unresponsive.
Master Windu looked at Obi-Wan and sighed. He shut his eyes and prayed that Qui-Gon would soon be returning from his assignment on Fendar. Hoping that the Jedi Master had not saved his Padawan, only to lose him again.
*****
"Obi-Wan!"
Qui-Gon tenderly cupped his Padawan's cold face in his hands, pressing his palms to the pale cheeks, trying to warm them. The Master quickly looked around and, finding a blanket laying forgotten against a wall, placed it over the still form of his apprentice and tucked it carefully around him. Time was fast slipping away, every critical second took Obi-Wan further and further away from his desperate Master. And try as he might, Qui-Gon was still unable to reach through their bond, unable to reach the young man's consciousness, unable to sense even the slightest flicker of Obi-Wan's light. He desperately wanted to bring him back.
Placing his forehead on his Padawan's, Qui-Gon searched within himself to find that part that was Obi-Wan - Obi-Wan's essence, Obi-Wan's warmth. But all he could feel was utter cold, darkness and unfathomable despair, all encased behind a wall of darkness. A wall erected by Kiza's dark powers. It thoroughly surrounded his apprentice's essence, preventing him from reaching Obi-Wan, and preventing Obi-Wan from reaching out.
Qui-Gon struggled against the dark barrier, pressing again and again from every angle that he could think of. But, every time he managed to find a weakness in the wall and pushed against it, a whirlpool of cold, crackling energy would swirl around and through the chink that Qui-Gon had created, closing and reinforcing the barrier once again.
Within the darkness, Qui-Gon repeatedly called out to his apprentice, trying to yell past the howling, whirling maelstrom that surrounded him, and keeping any response from being heard. Apparently, the shield's purpose was to keep the boy unconscious, as well as preventing him from putting up any kind of resistance. What Qui-Gon couldn't understand is why the barrier had remained after Kiza's death. What was feeding it, and why was he unable to penetrate
the barrier? One thing he was sure of, he couldn't give up, would never give up. This was Obi-Wan, this was his son.
Instinctively, Qui-Gon knew that Obi-Wan had been without breathing for far too long. If he didn't succeed in getting his apprentice's body to respond soon, Obi-Wan would truly be lost to him. Qui-Gon fought against the despair clawing at him. /Stop it, Jinn! You don't have the time to think this way. *Obi-Wan* doesn't have the time!/
Reaching out and using all of his remaining power reserves, Qui-Gon attempted again and again to breach any part of the shield that held his Padawan prisoner -- without result. As seconds quickly ticked by, the Master momentarily discontinued his assault, trying to find the strength to continue further. He was past the point of fatigue, past the point of pain, and dark doubts again begin to eat away at him. He wasn't strong enough, good enough to save his apprentice.
Qui-Gon wearily dropped his head onto one of the Obi-Wan's small, soft shoulder. He had failed Obi-Wan, failed his Padawan. Kiza had been right, he was a failure as a Master. He had allowed himself to become distracted, to allow the past to control him. And now, Obi-Wan was paying the price.
Touching the coldness of his Padawan's cheek with his own, Qui-Gon bowed his head in momentary surrender, tears of sorrow flowing from beneath his closed lids, running, unhindered, down his cheeks.
He had lost Obi-Wan. Lost the most important person in his life, forever. Agony tore through the Master as he realized he was never going to hear Obi-Wan laugh again, never going to watch him grow, never see him become a Knight. Obi-Wan was just beginning to live and enjoy life at sixteen, but now that life had been cut short, losing that most precious gift. And he, Qui-Gon, was the one who was responsible for that loss.
//Forgive me, my Obi-Wan.// he thought, sorrow clutching at his chest, //Forgive your foolish, old Master. Please forgive me.//
His voice hitched in hot pain as he felt the bond, his precious link with his son, begin to break and unravel, making Obi-Wan slip further and further away. Qui-Gon felt as if his heart were slowly being torn apart - excruciatingly slow - the pain clawing at his very soul. He shook his head slowly back and forth, trying to deny the tears as he gulped in air, trying to control his aching grief.
A soft rustle of fabric and then a few soft taps echoed throughout the room.
Qui-Gon raised his head and opened his tear-filled eyes to find Master Yoda standing on the opposite side of the altar. Yoda's eyes were serene, but filled with sadness and fatigue. "Touched by the Dark, Obi-Wan has, " he said wearily, "Perhaps too strong, the dark creature was, for your Padawan to resist."
"No!" Qui-Gon yelled, his voice angrily echoing around the chamber, "No. Obi-Wan fought him, fought him with all his strength, and I know he would *never* give in to the Dark Side!" the Master stated vehemently, one long arm draped protectively over Obi-Wan's chest. "Because of my own blind stupidity, I lost Xanatos to the darkness, and I almost lost myself as well. Obi-Wan will not fall, will *never* fall, to the Dark. Even if I have to fight every dark creature during my every waking hour and during my sleep, Obi-Wan will not fall. He will always be of the Light." The Master's voice lowered as he looked into the sleeping face which now looked to be made out of fine marble. Qui-Gon sadly brushed at a teardrop that rested on his Padawan's temple.
"Then", Master Yoda replied as he placed a small, clawed hand on Qui-Gon's arm, "trust the Force to lead you. Guide you, it will, to what will be. The Force's will is what *is*, fight it you can not. But Darkness fight, you can. And in this, help you I will," Yoda's eyes sparkled with renewed energy.
The small Jedi Master reached forward and, placing both hands over Obi-Wan's heart, closed his eyes as he called upon the Force. Slowly, he began to repeatedly press and release upon the boy's delicate rib cage, coaxing the still heart muscle to intake and eject the life-giving fluid. Using a light tendril of the Force, the small Master guided the flow of blood as it coursed forward through the young apprentice's body. At the same time, he initiated a force-spark within the muscle itself, causing the heart to begin contracting and beating once more.
Feeling the Force once again singing through his Padawan's body, Qui-Gon quickly tilted Obi-Wan's head and began breathing air into his lungs. Steadily, he maintained a rhythm, continuing to breathe into the young man's body until his Padawan's natural motor responses began to take over.
A short feeling of relief swept over Qui-Gon as he observed his Padawan's body responding to his and Yoda's administrations. But, even as he looked into Yoda's upraised eyes, he knew the hard part was still to come.
Waiting patiently, Qui-Gon watched as Master Yoda removed his hands from Obi-Wan's chest, placed one hand on the crown of the young man's head, and the second over his breast bone. At Yoda's nod, Qui-Gon placed his forehead on his apprentice's, and allowed the Force to guide him.
Again, the Master found himself within the cold and violent maelstrom, but this time he was not alone. Like a green beacon, Yoda guided both of them into the vortex of the storm and called upon the Force. As waves of green light radiated in all directions from the diminutive Master, Qui-Gon openedhimself completely, allowing the Force to fill him, to become him, his own green essence flowing out and combining with those of his Master.
Thinking as one, Yoda and Qui-Gon unleashed their powers on the bulk of the dark barrier, darkness and light entwining, repelling and clashing against each other as the vortex screamed and increased in intensity from the combined energies. Both Yoda and Qui-Gon were lashed and buffeted by the violent churning of the primal power that hungrily surrounded them, but they remained steadfast, unwilling to lose concentration for even a moment. Little by little, bit by bit, portions of the barrier began losing cohesion. Pieces, large and small, were picked up by the turbulent winds and were then thrown against the very shield they had been a part.
"Call to your Padawan, Qui-Gon, " Yoda's thought pierced through the raging vortex, "Call him, you must. Hear you, he can. Knows you best of all through the Force. Call him!"
As Yoda continued to focus on the crumbling wall, Qui-Gon opened himself further to the Force, summoning his will, his training, his own life essence, and began calling to the one who meant more than life itself. "Obi-Wan!" Qui-Gon called out with voice, mind and body. "Padawan! Come to me. I am here for you, to help you, to bring you back. Obi-Wan! Reach out for me!"
As large chunks of the wall began disintegrating under Yoda's and Qui-Gon's continued assault, beams of brilliant blue light began filtering through the gaps, reaching towards them, bathing them in warm welcome. The lights of green and the light of blue began expanding, forcing the darkness away, quieting the roar of the vortex as they danced and swirled in gentle communion, a soft sound of chimes replacing the roar of darkness. Slowly, a loud quiet settled around the tired Masters, both very grateful for the light, warmth, and quiet which now touched and cradled them.
Qui-Gon and Yoda watched as a portion of the swirling blue began to form and concentrate in front of Qui-Gon, and then solidified into a soft, warm ball. Qui-Gon tenderly reached forward and clasped the warm softness to his chest.
Qui-Gon opened his eyes to see Master Yoda's tired but smiling eyes looking up at him. He then looked down and saw his Padawan's rib cage slowly expanding and contracting as he held Obi-Wan in his arms. The Master gently touched a cheek that had remained pale, but which was slowly being colored by a light tinge of pink. He frowned slightly as a cough began running through his apprentice's body, shaking the slight form almost painfully.
"Take him to the healers, you will," Master Yoda told him. "Hurry, you must. Saved his soul, we did, but your small Padawan's body must be healed as well. Go," the small tired Master prompted him with a wave of his hand, "Help your Padawan to heal, as heal you both must be."
Qui-Gon looked at his Master, tears of joy shining in his eyes. Reaching down, he tucked the blanket carefully around his unconscious apprentice, and headed in the direction of the doorway. Pausing for a moment, he looked back at the small Jedi Master who had fought so hard for both him and his Padawan. Yoda simply leaned on his gimmer stick, and smiled.
Qui-Gon smiled back, tears flowing freely down his face. Turning and holding his precious bundle tightly to his chest, Qui-Gon quickly headed for the Healers wing of the Temple.
******
Obi-Wan slowly began regaining consciousness. He struggled against waking as it dragged him from the soft comfort of dreamless sleep. He groaned painfully as his body protested against his sudden movement. How was itpossible that his *whole* body could hurt like this? It even hurt to breathe.
Then he began remembering...
He remembered how Master Skyla had treated him, punished him for the slightest infraction, and had physically, and brutally, hurt him. And, he recalled what Master Skyla had said about Qui-Gon. That Qui-Gon had left the Temple because of him, because he couldn't stand to be Obi-Wan's Master. Obi-Wan's throat constricted at the painful memories. He didn't know what hurt more, his physical injuries, or knowing that he was not wanted.
Head slightly pounding in pain, Obi-Wan cautiously shifted his head to the side. Where was he now? He was apparently in bed because he could feel the pillow beneath his head and the sheets against his body. But where was he? The last thing he recalled before blacking out was Master Skyla holding him...except that it hadn't been Master Skyla after all. It had turned out to be someone else, someone with a different voice, someone who had held him and, surprisingly, soothed him to sleep. As hard as he tried, he couldn't remember anything after hearing that strange voice following him into darkness.
Daring to open his eyes, he found himself in a dimly lighted room. A small lamp stood by his bedside, casting a soft glow around him. Obi-Wan blinked wearily as he took a closer look at the room. This was definitely not his bedroom. After a few moments, he recognized it as being one of the many rooms in the Healer's section of the Temple. He had been admitted way too many times not to be able to recognize this familiar place.
"You're awake," a soft female voice said as a gentle hand reached down through his weat-dampened hair.
Turning his sleepy eyes in the direction of the voice, he discovered Master Depa Billaba sitting on a chair beside his bed. But, why was she here? And where was his Master? A Master was supposed to be at his Padawan's side. Wasn't he?
"I'm sure you were expecting to see your Master here but, I'm sorry, he had to leave," Depa explained with a soft, musical voice, tucking the blankets very carefully around the still-drowsy Padawan.
/Yes, of course he had to leave,/ the young man thought to himself, a twinge of pain shooting through his chest.
Without uttering a word, Obi-Wan rolled slowly over onto his side, away from the Master, wincing as his sore, aching body yelled at the shift in weight. But he was unable to sleep, unable to find the peace that would allow him to rest. The tired apprentice simply stared into nothingness, bitter tears falling from his blue-green eyes as he recalled the words that Master Skyla had said to him, about himself and about Master Qui-Gon.
Depa sadly looked at the huddled form in front of her. The boy had been through such a horrendous ordeal, injured in both mind and body. He had gone through something that no one, especially a child, should be forced to experience. And it did not surprise her that the boy would exhibit this type of behavior, one which was apparently being aggravated by the absence of his Master.
The Council member stroked the boy's arm, giving him a light squeeze, "Would you like to be left alone to sleep, Obi-Wan?"
She looked at the back of his head as he nodded slowly. "Okay. Try to rest now. You went through quite an ordeal. You were in a Bacta tank, healing for two days. And you've been unconscious for the last two."
Four days?! He had been unconscious for four days? He choked as he felt a sob developing in his throat. He had lay in the Healer's ward for four days, and his Master hadn't even been at his side for one day? Obi-Wan coughed slightly as his throat constricted, Master Skyla's words continuing to repeat in his mind, "He left because of you!"
Obi-Wan sunk deeper into the pillow, the soft material becoming wet with tears. He bit down on his knuckles as he curled into a ball, a sudden realization hitting him. Then, it was true. His Master had really left him, had abandoned him. He wasn't wanted. He wasn't loved.
Depa slowly got up from the chair and turned off the light. The room was soon filled with the night's soft blue light, and stray beams from Coruscant's air traffic bounced fluidly against the walls. The Master turned momentarily to look back at the small Padawan, then she gently closed the door.
Obi-Wan sobbed silently as he heard the door click closed. He felt alone, so very alone. He softly choked and coughed as he allowed his emotions to run their course. Finally, spent, tired, feeling hopeless and very small, Obi-Wan began falling into the soft arms of sleep. Before surrendering completely to the soothing touch of unconsciousness, he gently pulled the pillow alongside his body, placed his tear-stained cheek against the top, and hugged the remainder against his chest.
"Master," he called out softly as he sought comfort from the cool softness in his arms.
*****
The following day was as uneventful and uncertain as the one before. Obi-Wan was now very sure that Master Qui-Gon would not be coming back. Ever.
As he lay resting, a small ray of hope flashed within his heart when he felt the presence of someone sitting by his bedside. As he opened his eyes, he momentarily thought that he saw his Master's blue eyes smiling down at him. But, as his vision cleared, he found himself looking instead into the soft brown eyes of Master Windu. The Master smiled and began speaking softly to the Padawan, telling him just how proud they all were of his struggle with the dark creature.
As Obi-Wan partially listened to the Master's words, he began wondering about his future. What did happen to apprentices abandoned by their Masters? Would he still continue to be a Padawan? Would the Council assign him a new Master, and would that Master be willing to take him as his apprentice?
A deep sadness swept over him as he recalled what Master Skyla had said - that no Master would take him as a Padawan. Of course, if the Council ordered a Master to accept him, then he would become that person's apprentice. Obi-Wan hugged himself in sorrow. He had no wish to become an apprentice under those conditions; to be assigned to a Master who was forced by the Council to accept him.
Distantly, he heard Master Windu asking him questions, trying to coax him into conversation. But Obi-Wan just shook his head sadly and leaned back against the pillow. He still tired easily, and his physical injuries, although healing rapidly, still hurt when he moved. But every time he would think about his Master, the sadness would overwhelm him and he would shut himself off, giving in to despair.
Mace sighed. No one had been able maintain a decent conversation with the boy since he had awoken two days ago. The Padawan would simply look down, or try to focus on the person talking, but there would be either little or no response. The situation reminded Mace quite a bit of a precocious three-year-old boy who had the same habit of shutting himself off. He had hoped that the boy would have outgrown the habit by now, but apparently, that would take time.
Mace looked up as his thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock at the door. The Master stood up to answer and found a nurse with a tray in her hand, smiling cordially up at him. She bowed in greeting at the Master as she entered the room and headed towards Obi-Wan's bedside.
"It's time for dinner, Obi-Wan," she said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. Carefully placing the tray on the small table, she approached the sad looking Padawan to see how he was doing. After a short and routine physical examination, she smiled in satisfaction. The boy was recovering quicker than expected. But he had still not eaten sufficiently enough in the last two days. He had refused to eat solid food and had, instead, sipped only juice and water.
Sitting on the edge on the bed and placing the tray containing a bowl of soup and glass of water on her lap, the nurse turned to the apprentice, "All right, would you like to eat this by yourself, or would you like me to help you?" she asked, smiling good-naturedly.
Obi-Wan looked down and then turned his head away from the nurse.
"Obi-Wan," the nurse reached out to touch his hand, "you need to eat. What would Master Qui-Gon think when he returns and finds that you haven't eaten anything?"
Obi-Wan managed to glare briefly at the nurse, and then slowly rolled over on his side, his back turned towards the surprised Master and nurse, waves of hopelessness and despair radiating from him.
Mace frowned in confusion at Obi-Wan's reaction. The Padawan had always been a polite boy, and this behavior was highly uncharacteristic of him. He wondered what could have possibly been the cause of so much misery, and why was it affecting the apprentice so deeply? Mace understood that Obi-Wan would be expected to go through periods of depression, mood swings, and sleepless nights because of what he had been forced to endure, but that had happened four days ago, and still the Padawan displayed no outward signs of improvement. He had been seen by two different counselors who were sent to help him with any emotional fallout, but the apprentice had continued to remain closed and unresponsive.
Master Windu looked at Obi-Wan and sighed. He shut his eyes and prayed that Qui-Gon would soon be returning from his assignment on Fendar. Hoping that the Jedi Master had not saved his Padawan, only to lose him again.
*****