I sat there all night in the dark in Renee's apartment. She really shocked me when she handed me the sketch of Buffy that I had done so many years ago. She had found it and kept it. This sketch was in much better shape than even my most prized possessions. I stayed sitting in that same spot until just before dawn. I hadn't realized it had gotten that late and I had no choice but to stay. I stayed in my room in her apartment. I found that it was the only place that the nightmares of my past wouldn't haunt me. I am more sure if it was her presence that kept my nightmares away or if it was just that I was so far away from any reminders of my gruesome past.
When I woke that evening she wasn't there. This wasn't exactly an uncommon occurrence. She would stay sometime and others she would just leave me be. When she gave me my room she also gave me a key. This was amazing to me that someone so gentle could invite me into her life, help me with my redemption and trust me enough to invite me into her home.
I realized in that 24 hour stretch that there was life outside of Buffy Summers. Maybe this woman who was so guarded yet so open was part of my destiny. I, of course, could never tell her about my changing feelings for her. I would surely scare. Besides even if I did love her I could never be with her because of my curse. I would never want to hurt her like I did Buffy. She just seems to understand me. She doesn't even seem surprised or appalled by the things about my past that I choose to reveal.
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