Disclaimer:Star Wars belongs to George Lucas and Lucasfilm, Ltd.; I am just borrowing it for awhile. :) No money is being made off this story.
Excerpts from the Diary of a Handmaiden 3--Speaking Up--Rabé's Diary
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We just returned from a session with the Council in the Throne Room. Midway through Padmé's conversation with Senator Palpatine, the connection was cut off and Panaka thinks that this means the Trade Federation is finally invading Naboo.
I am so afraid, and so ashamed of feeling afraid.
I am supposed to be strong. I am one of the chosen bodyguards of the Queen. I have been trained to protect her and fight for her. How can I fear that which my whole existence is based on?
Well, if Yané read that, she'd probably laugh at me. But I can't help it. I know that my existence is not just based on my being a Handmaiden, but it has changed my life so much that it sometimes feels that way.
Six months ago, I was a simple farmer's daughter, with no greater ambition than to help my father figure out what had been getting into our longgrain crop.
Then, some of Panaka's special forces arrived and took me away for testing and the next thing I knew, I became a member of an elite group of specially trained secret soldiers whose purpose in life is to protect the life of our fourteen-year-old Queen!
It wasn't even my decision at first. It was father who saw the opportunities this would open for me and wanted me to take them. And it is true that I've learned more, seen more, done more in the last few months than I ever dreamed possible. But there are times when I long to be home again, just Maren Hilde's daughter, who is a genius with plants.
Of course, it helps that I have come to love Padmé, both as our Queen and as a friend. Padmé, Sabé, Eirtaé, Yané, Saché–they have all become like sisters to me, even though we are still getting to know one another. Knowing that the Queen trusts me and relies on me is a responsibility that is weighty and frightening and wonderful all at the same time.
And Padmé does trust me–I sometimes think even more that Eirtaé or Sabé. I'm not sure why, though. Maybe it's because I don't talk a lot. And that, ironically, is mostly because of my accent. It marks me as different from the others and separates me. They never mention it, but I feel different when I speak and so I try not to talk a lot.
Wow, I'm really rambling on, aren't I? I have to go now. I hope that Panaka is wrong when he says that the Trade Federation is probably invading us as we speak.
I fear he is right, though.
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