Rabé's Diary Entry 3

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Well, we're on Tatooine, and it is more desolate than I ever could have imagined. Sand and dirt and rocks as far as you can see, except where the city makes the slightest little smudge on the horizon. Padmé is even now walking toward that smudge, probably watching it grow larger, the buildings more distinct.

When she announced her desire to join the Jedi Master, whose name I now know is Qui-Gon Jinn, and the Gungan, Jar-Jar Binks, and the little droid, R2-D2, that saved us while we fled Naboo, I tried to talk her out of it.

We had retired into our chambers on the ship while the flight continued. When we came out of hyperspace and landed, Padmé went to find out what the Jedi were planning herself, while "The Queen" continued resting privately. Padmé returned several moments later, furious at how the Jedi had condescended to her. I think having to live as we handmaidens do for even a few short hours has been enough for Padmé. She's used to being listened to respectfully and obeyed.

In any case, she started changing into more practical clothes immediately and had Eirtaé get Panaka, the only one with us who knows about the whole Handmaiden Deception. She told him she was going with the Jedi to see that things were done properly and she wanted him to back her up.

Quite an argument ensued, with Panaka and I pointing out all the horrible things that could happen to Padmé in a place as uncivilized as this, Eirtaé saying nothing while she helped me braid Padmé's hair, Sabé barely managing not to wail as she wondered how she would know what to do without Padmé, and Padmé herself ignoring us all. Of course Padmé won. She always does. She's the Queen.

She gave us all quick hugs, whispering something to Sabé that was apparently meant to give her strength, and then she and Panaka hiked off across the burning sand to catch up to Master Jinn.

The younger Jedi, Obi-Wan Kenobi, stayed behind on the ship with us. And, No! I am not getting any ideas. It isn't likely he would ever notice me anyways. And I have no intention of ever drawing attention to myself by speaking to him more than is absolutely necessary, either. Still, I can't help feeling that we (meaning Sabé, Eirtaé, and I, who stayed behind) got the better end of that deal.

Listen to me, completely unprofessional. Panaka would order me to give him fifty pushups and a hundred sit-ups if he could hear me being so childish and immature. We aren't supposed to think about such trivial things–we have a higher calling as the Protectors of the Queen.

It isn't like I don't agree with that, but I don't think any amount of training in the world can change the fact that we are young women like any in the galaxy, but with a larger-than-normal responsibility placed on our shoulders. If there *is* training out there that could change that, then I doubt I even want to know what it is. I like the parts of me that are still normal.

In any case, that is what the diary is for–to give me a place to privately purge myself of all my unworthy thoughts and feelings so that when I have to act mature and Handmaidenly, I can.

Be back in a sec...

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