By: LGStrife
Author's note: FINALLY! AT LONG LAST! I'm gonna publish another fic!!! XD
Anyway, moving on. *gets memo pad* Cloud and Aeris fans are welcome to read this fic. I'd...like to warn Sephiroth and Sephiroth and Aeris fans out there. This may not be good for you. Unless...you guys can take a li'l bit of humor...I think. Cloud and Tifa fans are welcome, there's not Tifa bashing here. And...that's it! :) Enjoy...as always.
*****
Cid Highwind is excited foir their trip as he closes all the windows of Cloud's Villa. He hears the Buggy honk.
Cloud: Hey! We're waiting for you Cid!
Cid: &*(^%, man! Am comin'! Am-- whoah! *slips*
Cloud: *sighs*
Cloud Strife looks to his right and sees Tifa Lockhart running towards him.
Cloud: Hey, Tif! Are the materials complete?
Tifa: *stops* You check. Skiing set?
Cloud: Right here.
Tifa: Gas in case we need it?
Cloud: Yup.
Tifa: The bags?
Cloud: They're right here.
Tifa: Foods and medicines?
Cloud: ...*sighs* I have it beside me...
Tifa: *claps hand* Perfect! We're all set.
Cid: *barges out of Cloud's Villa* Wait! Whaoh!! *slides down the stairway
chin first*
Cloud: *sighs* Aya...
Vincent Valentine leaves Buggy and helps Cid up.
Cid: Hey, thanks, Vince.
Vincent: Don't mention it. You're taking too long.
Cid: Sorry.
Vincent assists Cid to the Buggy. Cid hops in the Buggy. Vincent rides the Buggy.
Cloud: *takes our record book*
Barret: ?! What the hell for?
Cloud: I'm calling on all the AVALANCHE. Just tell me if you're present
or not. Barret Wallace?
Barret: I'm even the one who asked ya!
Cloud: Tifa Lockhart?
Tifa: Right behind ya.
Cloud: Vincent Valentine?
Cid: In the purgatory!
Vincent: Shut up!
Cloud: Cid Highwind?
Vincent: Stuck in hell!
Cid: &**^%%!!!
Cloud: Yuffie Kisaragi?
Yuffie: You can't leave with out this thief! *butt shake*
Cloud: Cait Sith?
Cait Sith: In the back row.
Cloud: RedXIII?
RedXIII: In between Yuffie and Cait Sith.
Cloud: Aeris Gainsborough?
Silence:...
Aeris: *hops in beside Cloud* Right beside ya.
Cloud: *smiles and nods* We're off!!
*****
Tifa sees Cloud and Aeris do sweet talk. Aeris leans on Cloud. Barret, who is beside Tifa, gulps.
Barret: Uh...Tifa?
Tifa: Yeah?
Barret: Uh...I think you should turn away.
Tifa: Why?
Barret: ...
Tifa: No, that's all right. All through these days I've finally accepted
that Cloud and I aren't really meant to be together.
Barret: ...Wow...
Tifa: Yeah. I mean, it's like. You'd think that, just yesterday I was
stealing Cloud away from Aeris but couldn't and today, some anvil just
hit my head and made me realize.
Barret: How are you feeling?
Tifa: I'm not sad. In fact I'm happy that finally, Cloud found he's
girl.
Barret: Just a question.
Tifa: Yeah?
Barret: How was it like falling in love with Spikey-@$$?
Tifa: ... *shrugs* I, I can't describe. I mean...
Barret: Go on.
Tifa: It's like, when I look at him. Straight to his blue mako eyes,
I feel like...melting. Like...everything stopped.
Buggy: *stops*
Barret: Speaking of stopping...
Tifa: Did...I say something wrong?
Buggy: *acts like a wild horse*
Vincent: What the--
Cloud: Damn it!!
Aeris: What's wrong?!
Tifa: I didn't say anything like this?!
Barret: &^%*)!!
Cait Sith: Hey!!
RedXIII: Make it stop!!
Yuffie: Before I get dizzy!!
Cid: *neighs*
Buggy: *stops*
Cloud: *looks at his team* Whon neighed?
Silence: ...
Buggy: *acts like a wild horse again and stops as something explodes*
Voice: What's the noise down there?!
Cloud: Sephiroth!
Cid: *sees smoke come out from car front*
Cloud: ...it's overheated. *sighs*
AVALANCHE: *groans*
Cid: I'll fix the ^*% thing. I'll need to use our reserved water. But
this ain't enough. *leaves the Buggy approaching car front and opens it
and starts fixing with water*
Tifa: *leaves the Buggy* Our food won't be enough. Vincent, Barret
and I will gather 'em.
Barret: Sure thing. *follows Tifa*
Vincent: I agree. *follows Barret*
RedXIII: *leaves Buggy* I'll get some water.
Yuffie: Wait for me! *hops off Buggy and follows RedXIII after getting
some pales*
Cloud: Hey Cait Sith, don't you wanna go?
Cait Sith: ...I'm stuck!
Aeris: ?! Hang on! *leaves Buggy and approaches Cait Sith*
Cloud: We'll get you out of there. *follows Aeris*
Cid: Good for ya, Caits! I mean... *ahem* *continues to fix the Buggy*
Cait Sith: *looks at you* Why do you hate me so much?
LGStrife: *echoing voice* Not my fault! Cid's!
Cid: Ya ^*(%! You mad me say it!
LGStrife: Just apologize.
Cid: *frowns* Do I have ta?
LGStrife: Yes! Because it's in the script!
Cid: It is? *takes out script*
LGStrife: Yes, it is, for goodness sakes.
Cid: Where? What page? What story? I can't find it. *searches*
LGStrife: JUST DO IT, DAMN IT!!!
Cid: Okay, okay! I'm sorry, Cait Sith.
Cait Sith: It's okay...
Cloud: *grunts and sighs* You're really stuck, Cait Sith.
Cait Sith: *nods* Thanks for trying to help me, anyway.
Sephiroth: You people. *shakes head and leaves*
Stomach: *gurgle*
Sephiroth: Unnn...so...hungry...cannot...fly... *falls to Buggy's second
row* Ow...
Cloud: *shakes head* Tsk, tsk, tsk. Hey, Seph. Just wait for Vincent.
Sephiroth: I will follow him. *flies*
Gun: *bang!*
Sephiroth: *falls like an airplane's shot wing*
*Hiroshima Bombing*
Cloud and Aeris: Seph! *runs and reaches*
Vincent: I...thought he was a bird...?
Sephiroth: ?! Excuse me?! I'm an angel! The One-Winged Angel!
Vincent: *shakes head* WAS an angel. Where's your wing now?
Sephiroth: Ooh!! Vampy!
Vincent: Excuse me?!
Sephiroth: Batty!
Vincent: How dare you!
Sephiroth: Dracula!
Vincent: Don't test my will, boy!
Sephiroth: Dracula: Dead and Loving it!
Vincent: That does it! *reveals Death Penalty*
Tifa, Barret, Cloud and Aeris: *gasp and take a step backward*
Vincent: The earth moves where I stand!
Cloud: Vince...
Vincent: I feel the turning of a wheel!
Cloud: Vincent...
Vincent: I feel nothing in my hand!
Cloud: Mr. ex-Turk...
Vincent: Not even the feel of steel!
Cloud: Vincent Valentine...
Vincent: You will not take my child!!
Cloud: You don't know how to kill! I mean, Vincent Valentine, we are
NOT in Miss Saigon!!
Vincent: ...Oh, we aren't?
Cloud: Yes.
Vincent: Aw shucks, I was feeling the moment... *keeps gun*
Cloud: Aya... *sighs*
Barret: Yo...guys. I mean, Spike, Aeris and Seph. Why don't you...go
back to the Buggy.
Aeris: Sure.
Sephiroth: Anything to get away from this vampire.
Vincent: Mark my word, Sephiroth. Shut up or I'll shoot you.
Sephiroth: You'll only waste your bullets.
Vincent: Even if it takes me eternity, I'll do it!
Cloud: Vince... *pulls Sephiroth away and reaches Buggy*
Sephiroth: *seats on second row opposite of Cait Sith and brings out
laptop to surf* Hm? *sees a fanfic and clicks it and reads and laughs*
Cloud: Hey, 'sup?
Sephiroth: Haha! It's Aeris..
Aeris: Huh? *checks* Hey! That's not funny.
Sephiroth: *laughs*
Aeris: Getting mushy over my killer is the last thing I'll ever do!
Sephiroth: *still laughs*
Aeris: I said it's not funny! *threatens with Princess Guard*
Sephiroth: *pulls Cloud in front* Restrain her!
Cloud: Uh...restrain? *gestures for Aeris to stop*
Aeris: Harumph! *stomps and walks away*
Sephiroth: *shrugs and reads further and laughs* Haha! Aeris puts up
Sephiroth posters and squeals at them and Sephiroth says that is exploitation.
*laughs* Exploitation because it is Aeris squealing over me. *laughs hysterically*
Aeris: *hits Sephiroth's head with Princess Gurad from behind*
Sephiroth: Ow! Why you! Just because you've got big boots, big hair,
big shoulders, big HIPS, big EVERYTHING, doesn't mean you could hit me
just like THAT!
Aeris: *swings Princess Guard*
Sephiroth: *misses* HA! Not to mention those big eyes saying: *in kid's
voice* Mommy, I want my lollipop.
Aeris: *BASH!!!*
Sephiroth: OW! *loses 2, 500 HP* What's that for?!
Aeris: It's to KNOCK SOME SENSE IN YOUR HEAD, YOU BIMBO!
Sephiroth: It will take you eternity to do that.
Aeris: Even if it takes me forever, I'LL DO IT! *threatens*
Cloud: Aeris...
Aeris: *snarls and leaves with a stomp*
Cloud: *sighs* She can be purrty mean sometimes...
Sephiroth: What's with all of you addicted to take eternity just to
kill me or whatever?
Cloud: *shrugs*
Sephiroth: *leaves story and sees another summary* Huh? This looks
promising. *clicks and reads*
Aeris: *approaches* 'Scuse me, Seph. *scriolls down and scans story*...It's
me again! *walks out*
Sephiroth: Huh? *reads* Haha! *ahem*
Aeris: Shut up, Seph!
Sephiroth: All right!
Cloud: Uh...Seph?
Sephiroth: Yes?
Cloud: Just one question?
Sephiroth: What is it?
Cloud: Do you...have a crush on Aeris?
Sephiroth: ?! Excuse me?!
Cloud: I mean...you've been reading stories where she gets mushy all
over you.
Sephiroth: IDIOT! *sees pale beside him and slams it on Cloud*
Cloud: Ow! *smacks Seph*
Sephiroth: Ow! Why you!
Cait Sith: Guys, guys!
Sephiroth: *sighs and continues to read* I read stories like these
because I star in them and it's funny. Haha--
Aeris: *PANG!*
Sephiroth: That does it! Give me an Elixir!
Aeris: Get one at your own risk, hmph! *crosses arms*
Sephiroth: *snarls*
Cloud: *removes pales* Guys... *gives pale to Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: What? What would I do with this? *gets pale*
Cloud: Isn't it yours?
Sephiroth: No, I got it from the Buggy.
Cloud: Cid, who owns this pale? *points at pale*
Cid: *looks at Cloud all black from fixing* Wha?
Cloud: Wow, Barret. You became...smaller and...grew blond hair.
Cid: *#??^!
Cloud: *smirks* Sorry.
Cid: Anyway, it's our snowman's hat.
Cloud: Snowman's hat? How cheap can you get?
Cid: SHADDAP!
Cloud: Sheesh, sorry.
Sephiroth: So, you're going to Icicle Inn?
Cloud: Yeah.
Sephiroth: Well, hope you freeze.
Cloud: *smacks Seph*
Sephiroth: *slams pale*
Aeris: Seph! Stop it!
Cloud: *removes pale and gives it to Sephiroth approaching Aeris who
is at the other side of Cait Sith on his row, leaning* Hey.
Aeris: ...Yeah?
Cloud: You good?
Aeris: ...More or less, yeah...
Cloud: *sighs* Don't let it get to ya.
Aeris: ...Okay. *kisses Cloud on the cheek* Thanks. *takes a step to
leave*
Cloud: Wait. *grabs right arm*
Aeris: What?
Cloud: *points to lips* What about here?
Aeris: *smiles* You mean like this? *gives french kiss*
Cloud: !!! *but enjoys the moment*
Cait Sith: Oh my...
Aeris: *lets go* Bet you can do that.
Cloud: *smiles* But I sure can do THIS. *pulls Aeris and kisses her
with eyes closed full of ecstasy and passion as he hugs her tightly*
Aeris: !!!!! *gives in*
Cloud: *right hand reaches for Aeris' right leg sliding pass her waist*
Aeris: *lifts right leg*
Cloud: *holds right leg and squeezes it*
Aeris: *does not mind*
Cloud: *slowly falls on Cait Sith and slides down to back seat with
Aeris*
Cait Sith: *covers eyes* No! Not the back seat scene!!
Sephiroth: Eh? *turns to his back* Ahh!!!
Cid: Eh? *hits head on lifted cover of car front* Ow! *sees Cloud and
Aeris* Wha--
Cloud: *inserts hand inside Aeris' overjacket behind her to feel her
skin*
Aeris: *reaches for Cloud's belt*
Cid: HOLY *#$^&!! DON'T LET THE SNAKE OUT YET!!! *rushes to them*
Cloud: Mm?! *lets go* Oh...my...
Aeris: *quickly sits and fixes self*
Cloud: I...I'm sorry...to shock you...
Aeris: No...no...no...not at all... *rushes away blushing furiously*
Sephiroth: ?! Not at all?!
Cid: *watches Aeris rush out* Tsk, tsk, tsk. You really could get your
sperms burning like hell!
Cloud: Heh...shut up.
Cid: *shakes head* But not now, not here.
Cait Sith: I...is it...over?
Cloud: We didn't do it. You can look now.
Cait Sith: *sighs in relief and looks*
Sephiroth: You're not gay after all.
Cloud: ?! *smacks Seph* Course not!!
Sephiroth: *slams pale*
Cloud: *pale takes the shape of his hair*
Cid: Eek!
Cloud: *cannot remove pale* Ah!
Aeris: *rushes to help, grunts and cannot take it off* Look what you've
done!
Sephiroth: Not my fault!
Aeris: Shut up! *shoves weapon's head to Sephiroth's mouth*
Sephiroth: !
Tifa: Guys! *runs towards Buggy* Wha-- Cloud! *reaches and pulls pale
out*
Cloud: Ow! Wow. Thanks, Tif.
Tifa: *nods as she fixes pale using fists* What happened?
Cloud: Seph slammed the pale on me.
Tifa: *turns to Sephiroth* Seph...
Sephiroth: What?!
Tifa: *shakes head* Anyway, who has Revive Materia? Or Phoenix Materia?
Or a Phoenix Down?
Cloud: Wow, seems that I have 'em all...
Tifa: *pulls Cloud* Hurry! It's Vincent!! *rushes to forest*
Cloud: What?! Whoah--
Aeris and Sephiroth: Wait! *follow*
Tifa and Cloud: *reach forest*
Tifa: How's Vincent?
Barret: I got a nearer help.
Yuffie: Yeesh! That's the last Phoenix Down I have!
Vincent: *groans*
Cloud: Well, that's good. What happened anyway?
Tifa: A monster casted 'Death' on him.
Cloud: Aya...you know you're prone to it, Vince.
Vincent: *groans*
Tifa: Listen, why don't you take Vincent to the Buggy?
Cloud: *nods*
Yuffie: I'm coming along to stock up with items and get the pale for
the snowman's hat.
Sephiroth: But--
Cloud: It's in the Buggy, Yuffie. *reaches the Buggy and gives pale
to Yuffie*
Yuffie: *takes*
Sephiroth: *pouts*
Cloud: *blurts*
Vincent: Boys...
Sephiroth: *assists Vincent*
Cloud: *sees that laptop os free and surfs* Wonder what's new? *types:
http://www7.ewebcity.com/sosmain/index.html*
Laptop: *finds page and views*
Cloud: Hm... *scrolls down* New guestbook and counter, eh? My Computer's
no longer free? Oh well, I guess it won't hurt to sign. *clicks 'Save your
Data' and signs* There. *sends*
*******************
ACTIVE TIME EVENT
*******************
LGStrife: Oh, cool. Someone signed my guestbook. *click, click* Wow,
a Cloud fan. Just like me (^^) Huh? *reads message*
Hey Liv, sorry about your guestbook and counter having to be new. But your site's doing great anyway. Look, I'm really flattered that you made me your favorite character and I really liked the new wallpaper you made for me. It's so nice that I set it up as my wallpaper. That's that, keep up the good work.
LGStrife: What the-- Who the hell does he think he is, the real Cloud
Strife?! Hmph, some boys never learn...
***************************
END OF ACTIVE TIME EVENT
***************************
Cloud: *goes to wallpapers section and clicks newest Cloud wallpaper
and relaxes as it loads. Out of his mind, he sets it as wallpaper as he
listens to Vincent and Sephiroth*
Vincent: So nice of you to cure me, Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: Vincent, didn't you even think that it is possible that
I am your son?
Vincent: Impossible! Hojo is your father.
Sephiroth: Oh, yeah? What if Lucrecia keeps on having miscarriages?
Vincent: She should've died without you being born.
Sephiroth: Ah, but she has Jenova Cells and Mako Energy. Now moving
on, Lucrecia is afraid Hojo might be mad at her so she drags you and you
get laid. Voila, here I am.
Vincent: ...
Sephiroth: Bah! You're no good. *sees Cloud* Strife! Get off my laptop!
*approaches*
Cloud: *presses the back button twice* Whoops, sorry. *leaves*
Sephiroth: Bastard. *minimizes browser to go to desktop and load MIME
(Midgar Instant MEssenger) and sees wallpaper* NOOO!!!
Cloud: *goes to driver's seat, sits and sees Yuffie still looking for
things* Need help?
Yuffie: Nope.
Cloud: *takes out a cassette tape from bag and inserts*
Radio: *sings* Smile again! Arigatou!
Cloud: *sings* Smile again! Nandodemo! Tatiagareru kigashiteru bokunoyuukiwaizumi!
Aeris: ? Uh...Cloud...?
Cloud: Smile again! Hitoridewa! Smile again! Irarenai! Tomadouhodo
setujituna inoruyouna koiwa!
Aeris: Cloud...
Cloud: *raises hand* Arashi!!
Aeris: Arashi? I didn't know you like that J-pop band...
Cloud: So So iikotonantenai
houkouontino
jounetu Live
mainiti
a Fool boketuhoru Fall
dakedonanikaniakogaretetai
kandousinaihibinonakade
futashikanakibouga
Believe in Love
itukakutuzokodefmituketa
Faith ga
kiminideatte
tiwomoyasu
Aeris: Cloud...
Cloud: Oh, sorry. *stops song* Hey, anyone has L'arc~en~ciel? or GLAY?
or Kinki Kids?
Yuffie: I got Ayumi Hamasaki. Also Every Little Thing.
Cliud: Let me borrow 'em.
Yuffie: *gives*
Cloud: *takes out Arashi cassette and inserts Ayumi Hamasaki cassette
and plays 'Evolution'* Hey, didn't she win 'Artist of the Year' in GD?
Yuffie: Yup, saw that. She's so great! I like that way she thanks the
crowd. *imitates covering mouth* DOMO ARIGATOU!!
Aeris: I like Every Little Thing.
Cloud: Megumi's band?
Aeris: Yeah. I think she's cute and she sings well.
Sephiroth: *grumbles* Huh? Someone IMed me?
***MIME***
Kuja: Hey, Seph.
TheGreatSephiroth: Hey, Kuj! How are you?
Kuja: Same old, same old. Except that my brother, Zidane, is nagging
me for some love tips for Garnet.
TheGreatSephiroth: Boy, am I lucky not to have him as my brother.
Kuja: Yeah, how about you?
TheGreatSephiroth: *sigh* I'm stuck here with Cloud!
Kuja: He's in the Northern Crater?
TheGreatSephiroth: No, I had to get stuck with him in the Buggy 'cause
I'm too hungry to fly!
Kuja: ...Good luck?
TheGreatSephiroth: Thanks. I think I need that.
Kuja: 8,.9lk6o d459ol;,.h,.lo;0
TheGreatSephiroth: Kuja?
Kuja: Sorry. Zidane accidentally pushed me on the keyboard.
TheGreatSephiroth: Oh my.
Kuja: brb
TheGreatSephiroth: Okay.
Auto Response from Kuja: I'll take care of my brother, please bare
with me.
***END OF MIME***
Sephiroth: *sighs*
Cid: ...Hey Cloud. *while fixing*
Cloud: Yeah?
Cid: Tell me, how did Aeris and Sephiroth live again?
Cloud: Remember the time when Sephiroth exploded to light?
Cid: Yeah.
Cloud: I saw Aeris' hand reaching out for me. So I reached out, too.
Before, I could even reach her, Aeris fell from where she was and I caught
her.
Cid: As for Sephiroth?
Cloud: He fell after Aeris. He was pushing her out so that he could
have the wide spot all for himself but well...he fell to where I was standing.
RedXIII: *howl!!*
Yuffie: What the! He's done?!
Barret: Guys!
Vincent and Aeris: *goes to help Barret*
RedXIII: *reaches Buggy with pales of water*
Yuffie: *helps RedXIII*
Tifa: *appears with fruits*
Cid: *uses pales of water to fix Buggy*
Sephiroth: *eats merrily* Well, I'm done. I'll be off to the Northern
Crater. Thank you for the food and company and goodbye. *shuts off laptop
and leaves*
AVALANCHE: *waves goodbye*
Cid: *slams car front cover shut* Try it, Cloud.
AVALANCHE: *sits on their places*
Cait Sith: *stays*
Cloud: *starts the engines*
Engines: BROOM!
Cid: YEEHA!! *hops in*
Buggy: *drives off with Ayumi Hamasaki playing*
::::::::::EPILOGUE::::::::::
The Buggy reaches Icicle Inn. AVALANCHE leaves Buggy.
Cid: I'd like to ski the night. Who's coming?
Vincent: I will.
Tifa: Me too!
RedXIII: I'll wait in the lounge.
Barret: Ya ain't leavin' without me!
Yuffie: I'll beat you all in a race!
Cait Sith: I'll keep RedXIII in company.
Cid: Okay, basically everyone?
Cloud: *shakes his head* Nah, I'll fix the inn.
Aeris: I'll stay with Cloud.
Cid *shrugs* That's your decision. *leaves with others* Hey, I got
an idea. *turns to Cloud* We'll spend the night in the lounge and return
to the inn the next morning.
Cloud: *nods* See ya!
Cid: *waves*
Inside the inn...
Aeris: Wow, so nice to be finally here to rest.
Cloud: Yeah. *takes off suspenders and boots*
Aeris: *takes off overjacket and falls on bed with arms raised*
Cloud: *catches and looks charmingly at Aeris* It's cool here. Why
don't we...warm the night?
Aeris: *giggles* And let the snake out?
The couples fall on bed and--
LGStrife: *AHEM* You know what happens next. :)
NOTE: Okay! If you are a Sephiroth or Sephiroth and Aeris fan and you
are offended by this, don't flame me. I warned you once and twice. If you
didn't listen, that's your loss. Ayumi Hamasaki, L'arc~en~ciel, GLAY, Kinki
Kids, Every Little Thing and Arashi are all J-pop. The song that Cloud
sang is entitled: 'Kansha Kangeki Ame Arashi' and is sang by Arashi. 'Evolution'
is by Ayumi Hamasaki and her, winning 'Artist of the Year' in GD is true.
The one Vincent sang is from 'Miss Saigon' entitled 'Thuy's Death/You Will
Not Touch Him'. The URL Cloud visited is really my site. You can see my
FF fics there. Cloud and Aeris fans...uh...hope the kissing scenes didn't
offend you much and what they did in the end. Don't worry! More fics to
come soon!