Disclaimer: I don't own the Higher Ground characters. I own Kaitlyn.
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I'm asking for 10 again please. For those of you who wanted Daisy and David together, I'm going to write a story featuring them after I'm done w/ this. So enjoy and review please!!
Part Ten
Shelby was headed to dinner when Sophie stopped her and asked her to go get Kaitlyn. Sophie and Peter had each talked to the girl earlier without much avail. They knew the accident was only part of her problem but what the rest was they just didn't know and she wasn't telling. Shelby decided that she was probably the best person to talk to Kait anyway seeing what had happened with Scott.
Shelby entered the dorm expecting to see Kaitlyn lying on her bed reading like she usually did when she was avoiding people. She didn't see anyone in the room. She got this horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach and ran to the bathroom. It was there that she once again found Kaitlyn. A razor held above her wrist.
"Don't do it." Shelby said quietly trying not to alarm the fragile girl. Kaitlyn looked up at Shelby. Her green eyes filled with so much pain it made Shelby want to cry for her.
"I just can't take it anymore. I'm sorry…" she said begging for Shelby to understand why she had to do this.
"I know how that feels. To want all the pain and the nightmares that make you sick at your stomach to just stop. To end it all and just be free." Shelby responded as she knelt beside the trembling girl. Kaitlyn still holding the sharp blade in her shaking hand looked at Shelby in confusion.
"I tried to get away from it but in the end I couldn't. Because I didn't want to leave the few people that love me behind, blaming themselves for what I did. I have enough trouble not blaming myself."
"What happened to you?" asked Kaitlyn needing to know.
"My stepfather is what happened. When I was 14 he began abusing me, molesting me, whatever you want to call it. He would come into my room at night after everyone else had fallen asleep. I never slept. At first I tried to pretend I was asleep, but that didn't stop him. Nothing did. I use to lay awake at night scared to death watching the shadows, seeing monsters, the monster that came with a click of my bedroom door. I couldn't tell anyone. He made me promise that if it was our little secret that he would leave my little sister Jess alone. And I believed him." She said with a harsh laugh.
"How naive I was. After a year I just couldn't take it anymore. And so I began to run away. And to survive on the streets I…I…sold myself. It some warped sense I figured this was what I deserved because there was something wrong with me. Something that made Walt do what he did to me. That I wasn't worth anything to begin with. Death would have easy and I tempted it by taking any drug I could get my hands on. And then I was brought here, and everything changed. I didn't want anyone to help me cause I didn't think that I deserved it. And then he came." She remembered with a soft rueful smile.
"Scott Barringer. I wanted that boy so damn bad. I tried just about everything I could think of to get him. And when I did get him I was so happy and yet so scared because I thought when he found out about my past that it would be over. And for a time it was. We put each other through hell, but we got through it. And then I was sent home. Cause dear old step daddy had a heart attack. And it was then I found out that he had done it to Jess too. This beautiful smart girl, my little sister, had to go through this. I wasn't there for her. And she hated me for leaving her, for not protecting her. And I remember going immediately for the pills, the knives. I couldn't take it. I had let down the one person who has always loved me. But I couldn't go through with it cause if I was dead he would win and she would be alone. So I did what I had to do I called CPS. And I came back here to my real family. And slowly I am healing. It doesn't go away, I won't lie to you. But you can learn that it doesn't have to control your life."
Shelby took the razor out of Kaitlyn's lax hands. "Can you tell me what happened to you? Were you raped?"
Kaitlyn made a small sound of terror, and nodded her head. Shelby hugged the girl to her and cried for the both of them.
"How did you know?" Kaitlyn asked in a small voice.
Shelby was quiet for a moment before she answered, "The look in your eyes. The fear and pain and guilt I saw. It was like looking into my own reflection."
"Please don't tell anyone. Especially not Scott." She pleaded to the blonde girl.
"I won't but I think you should tell Scott. He wants to help you."
"No! If I tell him what happened he'll hate me. I know he will."
"Why would he hate you?" Shelby questioned.
Kaitlyn never got to answer because it was at that moment that both Daisy and Jules came bursting in.
"Peter and Sophie are getting mad…." Jules trailed off seeing the scene before her.
"Are you guys okay?" Daisy asked.
"Um yeah." Said Shelby as she hid the razor from the other girl's views. "We'll be right out."
Jules and Daisy both still looked worried but left the girls alone. Kaitlyn and Shelby washed their faces trying to conceal the tear tracks, and headed off to dinner.