Okay, since you all have requested it, here is the sequel to 'My
Brother's Keeper'. It isn't supposed to be humorous, so don't go into this assuming I'm going to
treat this like some silly filler fic! No sir-re-bob! No silliness here! Nope.
None. Nada. Zip. Absolute Drama!
As
V-chan is saying that, a group of chibis [Vrumgumen, Zangalus, Zelgadiss, Kusanagi, Gourry, Xellos, Goten, Trunks,
#17,Duo, Valgav, Kopii Rezo, Murasaki,
Chaine, and Samson] come out and began
to dance in a chorus line in front of
her while The Funny Fishman Song
plays in the background. She looks at them in shock, then bows her head in
defeat as a large sweat drop forms at her temple.
Just forget that
last part, folks….
He's Got
Issues…
Catherine
finished writing out a check, slipping it into an envelope along with a short
letter and quickly sealed it shut. She put the envelope into her purse to mail
later, then picked up the large, padded FedEx envelope sitting at her elbow and
went into the living room.
Glancing at
the door to her brother's room, she couldn't stop wondering where he had run
off to this time. She remembered vividly the weird incident last week when she
had woke up to find, of all people, that sneaky little rich boy here, sitting
at the kitchen table and having a cup of coffee with her brother. She asked
them what was going on, but all she got was a blank stare [her bro] and a hasty
apology [blondie]. After he left, Catherine tried to pry an answer from her reluctant
Trowa and received silence and more blank stares. 'I just hope this will have
some answers.' She crossed her fingers. 'Oh, please don't let it be anything
bad.' Taking a deep breath, Catherine opened the envelope and put the tape it
contained in the VCR.
The screen
was snowy for a moment, then the room came into focus. There was a dresser with
a mirror pushed up against the wall, both of which were covered by various wall
scrolls, posters, action figures, artbooks, and other doodads from a variety of
movies, comics, video games, and animes. To the right of the dresser was a door
through which a bruised, battered, and very wore out Duo Maxwell limped into view. He made his way to the camera,
which was set up on his desk next to the computer, and painfully sat down.
"Good
morning, Miss Bloom." He quipped sarcastically, then points to his blackened
right eye. "You may be wondering why I look like I've been through hell and
back, aren't you?" There was a pause, as if he expected her to answer. "Well,
let me just say that this is mostly your fault! If you hadn't ordered me
to keep tabs on Tro for you in the first damn place…we'll get to that later,
though. For now, let's just hope the payment you're sending me can cover the
bill for one severely sprained ankle…" The braided youth reached into the desk
drawer and withdraws a shoebox, a baggie with several rolls of film in it, and
a couple of photographs. "When you 'hired' me, you told me to find out who the
girl Trowa's seeing is." He snickers evilly. "Well, guess what sugars: That
'girl' isn't a girl at all. Allow me to elaborate on this a bit." Duo holds up
one of the photos. It's an exact copy of the one at Trowa's bedside. "Now, at
first glance, this looks like a chick, right? EEEEEENNNNIT! (Annoying buzzer
noise.) Wrong!" He whips the other out and holds it alongside the first. This
one is of Quatre, dress in his normal outfit, seated in a position nearly
identical to the 'girl's'. "I thought you might have at least recognized who
this was by the face. I know I did. But you didn't ask me for my opinion did
you? Don't worry if you can't see these too clearly at the moment. I got a
better way to show 'em." He turns to the keyboard and fiddles around for a
second.
The screen
goes blank, then comes back on with an enlarged view of the photos side by
side. Over the camera mike, Duo continues to speak.
"As you can
see, the picture on the right is obviously of one Quatre
Reba…Rheaboo…Ruh-eba…Dammit! Forget that! It's Quatre, okay?!" He snorts and
mutters something under his breath before going on. "Anyway, the other is the
afore mentioned 'mystery blonde.' Notice any similarities? No? Here let me show
you a couple..." With a click of the mouse, thousands of small arrows and marks
appear overlaid on the photos. "To be honest," Duo sneered in mock
bewilderment. "I only found one or two minor things they had in common. Geez,
woman! No one can be dense enough not to see that this is clearly
Winner! 'But wait just a minute!' You say. 'Isn't this proof that the girl is
one of Q-man's sisters?' Yeah, sure it is…and I'm a fucking Peacecraft! But
don't just take my word for it! There's more to that roll of film than just
that one picture." As he fiddles with the computer, Duo addresses her causally.
"Cathy, if you're trying to figure out where I got a copy of that picture, all
I can say is that I happened to 'borrow' a few of the negatives Trowa took
while he was on that…eh, 'skiing trip' last year. Actually, he spent more time
in the cabin by the fire with a certain, golden-haired snow bunny, if you catch
my drift… Ah! These will make it easier to understand."
At that, a
series of pictures appear on the screen. Duo clicks slowly through the slide
show. Most of them are of a small blonde playing in the snow, building a
snowman, or just goofing off, but there's one of Trowa making a snow angel with an abnormally happy expression on
his face.
"These are
just a few of the cuter ones. Note that there are only two, count them, two
people in who show up in all these photos. It's the same for all the other
pictures that were taken. Now, Cathy, I hope you ready for the next part."
The screen
flashes to the next slide. There's only one large image on it.
Catherine
nearly faints when she sees it.
The picture
is of one rumpled Quatre in a towel, standing at the sink and brushing his
teeth. In the mirror, a smiling Trowa with a camera in hand behind him. And,
from the flustered look on the blonde's face, that seems to be the only thing
he was wearing.
Again, the
screen goes blank and we're back to Duo. He has a smug smirk on his face as he
leans back in the chair.
"Yes,
that's right, honey: Your dear little Nanashi was alone, in an isolated cabin,
with another boy. Hmmm…Sounds like the set up of yet another sappy, lemony yaoi
fic, doesn't it?" [Hint-Hint, my darling readers. ^_^]
Recovering
from her shock, Catherine glares at the TV. "That-that can't be true! I knew
you'd have your mind in the gutter when you put this together. They're just
friends! It certainly isn't what you're saying it is!"
"Heh. I
guess we're in denial right now, aren't we?" Duo smirk widens as he purrs out
the words.
She blinks in amazement at his
anticipation of her reaction and sits back down.
"If you
think that was bad, then you might want to stop the tape right now." He winks
devilishly into the camera. "It only gets worse." He waits for a second, then
opens the shoebox and digs around in it before producing a Polaroid. Duo holds
it up to the camera.
It's of
Trowa laying on his side, naked, with only a sheet draped over his hips. Around
his neck is a collar with a heart-shaped tag on it and there's a pair of cat 'ears' on his head. He has the leash
clench in his teeth. The look in his eyes is intense and hungry. Written on the
bottom, in neat, graceful handwriting, are the words: 'Mon chat petit.'
"Mon chat
petit; my little kitten. Hmm…." Duo murmured. "That's not something one
normally sends to 'just a friend.'" He sighs and shakes his head. "I kind of
have the feeling that you probably believe this to be a doctored photograph,
right?"
Catherine
nods her head.
"If you
want some real evidence, just take a peek in your bro's closet. I bet ten to
one, he's got some pictures of Quatre stashed away in the back somewhere. But
wait until you finish the tape to go see, 'cause there's a lil' something extra
on it for you. This special bonus footage will explain how I got all beaten
up."
Suddenly,
Duo's beaming face fades out and the screen goes black. Slowly, a title appears
in bold, red letters.:
"Welcome to Shinigami's Wild World of YAOI!"
Directed, narrated, and produced by: Duo Maxwell
Co-editor and co-producer: Candy Renniw
The
title fades to another image of Duo, now perfectly healthy and quite contented looking,
seating at a desk in a large library [ala 'Rocky Horror']. Smiling, he looks
into the camera. He's wearing his normal priest outfit.
Duo, affecting a cheesy British
accent. "Good evening ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to 'Shinigami's Wild World
of YAOI!' Tonight, we are going to take a glimpse at the mating habits of the
reclusive Tritonis
Nanashi Bloomus, commonly known as 'Trowa Barton.'"
The scene
changes to a brightly lit kitchen, where we see the aforementioned Tritonis Nanashi Bloomus packing a
picnic with Quatre.
Duo is speaking in a hushed
whisper. "Here, we find him preparing for a romp in the forest with his
preferred 'playmate,' the timid Quatre R. Winneris. (In the background, you
can hear him trying to stifle a laugh.)"
The camera
pans after them as they walk out the door. There's a brief pause in the tape,
then the scene shifts to a shady, woodland path. Slowly, we see the love birds stroll
up the path, hand in hand.
"Ah, notice how the taller boy
clasps the hand of his diminutive companion tightly. (The camera zooms in on
their hands.) The significance of this apparently simple gesture is the
reaffirmation of the pair bond between these two. It is an action which states
to any observer that simply screams 'He is MINE, thank-you-very-much!'"
They stop
at a clearing. Quatre spreads out the quilt and they lay down on it. The Latino
youth pulls out a bottle and a pair of paper cups.
"It appears that Trowa is
attempting to show his affections by offering his mate something to drink." Zooms
in on the label, revealing it to be large bottle of 'Yagermiester.' "What the
fuck?! *Drops
the accent.* That
son-of-a-bitch has been holding out on me!" Zoom to the basket full of food and
munchables. "And they've been raiding
my snack stash too! Grrr…
*Back to Duo Powers, International Death God of Mystery.* 'AHEM!' It would appear that this offering may be one of the many methods
employed by males worldwide to get into their significant other's pants. Hehe…I
really hope so, cause this video needs some shagging in it…"
The camera
pans back some so that our lovely young couple, snuggling and drinking a bit.
Several minutes pass as they just seat there in silence.
"Geez…you'd think the Yagermiester
would have kicked in by now! Come, boys! Let's see some ACTION!"
As if on
cue, Trowa begins nibbling on the blonde's earlobe, making Quatre giggle in
delight. Gradually, they go from just nuzzling to some serious heavy petting as
they fall back onto the blanket. The way the light is shining on them, it looks
like a scene from a soft-core porno.
"Yeah…that's right. (Heavy
breathing.)"
The camera shifts slightly as Duo
readjusts his position. In doing so, he steps on a twig, causing it to snap.
Immediately, Trowa's head snaps up and he glares wrathfully at the trespasser.
"Oh shit." There's the sound of running feet and someone
in hot pursuit. It looks like something out of Blair Witch, and the whole time
you can hear Duo screaming: "OH SHIT! OH SHIT-FUCKING-HELL! HE'S GOING TO KILL
ME!!!!!"
Suddenly, he trips and crashed into the ground, sending the
camera flying. It lands in a pile of leaves, sawing a fallen Duo Maxwell being
mauled by one extremely pissed Tritonis Nanashi Bloomus before finally sputtering out.
After a
second or two of snow, the picture comes back. Duo is laying on a couch in a
very nice looking apartment, looking like he has just been run over by a truck.
He stares feebly up at the camera. "Hey Candy, is it on?"
"Yep. I
think so."
"Good."
Clearing his throat, the pummeled God of Death attempts to smile. "As you can
see, Tritonis
Nanashi Bloomus is highly aggressive and territorial creature. Unfortunately, I found this out the hard way…Well,
this brings us to the end of our program. I hope you have enjoyed this edition
of 'Shinigami's Wild World of YAOI!'
Good night."
The screen
goes black then to snow.
Catherine
stops the tape and picks up the phone book. She quickly scans for the number,
then grabs the phone off the side table. 'God, I hope this works…'
~*~*~
Oi! I know
this wasn't a very good, but it's just the beginning of this fic. I'll try not
to make you wait too long for
the next part, but I can't promise anything. There still so many other fics I've
go to finish…