Disclaimer:
See Disclaimer to "Simply Unpredictable, Part 1."
[Scene:
Jeremy's desk]
[Dave,
Jeremy]
[It's
late at night again. Party remnants
that made their way into the office area are strewn about, and music filters
distantly in from the background. Jeremy is typing; he looks disheveled but in a good mood.]
[Dave
enters from the side and sees Jeremy.]
Dave:
All right, Jeremy?
Jeremy:
Yeah, just finishing this up.
Dave:
Okay. [leaves]
Jeremy
[VO]: Well, it's the next night. Dana's
party is still going on, but I think it's winding down. It should be, anyway, it's been going on for
quite a long time now. And by the way,
I was right: there's plenty to tell you about that party.
Louise,
one thing you should know and probably have already guessed is that rumors run
rampant in this place.
[Scene
fades into Natalie maneuvering her way through the control room. She is barking orders at anyone who's
around, but seems distracted. She is
headed for Casey and Dan's office.]
Jeremy
[continuous VO]: Rumors run rampant through most workplaces, I guess, but we've
got something they don't: Natalie.
[Natalie
bursts into the office, where Dan is writing. He looks up at her entrance- she looks somewhat wild-eyed.]
Dan:
Morning.
Natalie:
Is it true?
Dan:
Is what true?
Natalie:
About Casey?
Dan:
What are you asking about Casey?
Natalie:
He didn't go home last night.
Dan:
He didn't go home last night?
Natalie:
That's what I hear.
Dan:
From who?
Natalie:
Around.
Dan:
You heard it around?
Natalie:
Yeah.
Dan:
From who?
Natalie:
[sitting] It doesn't matter from who, Dan. Casey didn't go home last night. He was with Donna last night. The two things might be connected.
Dan:
They might, or Casey might just have developed an aversion to his house.
[Casey
appears in the doorway. Dan notices,
Natalie does not.]
Natalie:
I think this means something.
Dan:
The fact that Casey didn't go home?
Natalie:
What do you think it means?
Dan: I think it means he didn't go home.
Natalie:
Dan! Use your imagination!
Dan:
I have a terrible imagination.
Casey:
You have a fine imagination.
[Natalie
turns to face him.]
Natalie:
Did you go home last night?
Casey:
No. [He looks somewhat tired, but good for a guy who's stayed up most of the
night.]
Natalie:
Why not?
Casey:
I was talking to Donna.
[pause]
Natalie:
You were talking to Donna?
Casey:
I was.
Natalie:
All night?
Casey:
Well, somewhere in there I fell asleep for an hour.
Natalie:
Casey-
Casey:
Nothing more happened, just a whole lot of talk. And it was good talk. I
learned a lot about the White House, she learned a lot about… useless things.
[He sits and tries to dismiss the conversation.]
Natalie:
Casey-
Casey:
[to Dan; ignoring Natalie] Josh says hi, by the way.
Dan:
Good. [writes]
[In
the background, Dana walks by. Natalie
runs to where Dan is sitting and lowers her voice, Donna temporarily
forgotten.]
Natalie:
I don't know if I can hold out til tonight.
Dan:
You've done it for two weeks, Nat, you can go a few hours.
Natalie:
But…
Casey:
What did you get her?
Natalie:
What did I get her?
Casey:
For her birthday.
Natalie:
Dammit.
Dan:
Natalie?
Natalie:
Dammit! [runs from the room]
Casey:
[looking after her] She didn't-
Dan:
She forgot to buy something.
Casey:
[laughing] Wow.
Dan:
Yeah.
Casey:
So, what'd you get Dana for her birthday?
Dan:
A package of hot dogs and a ball of green yarn.
Casey:
Seriously?
Dan:
No.
Casey:
Okay.
Dan:
I bought her a harmonica.
Casey:
Now tell me what you really got her.
Dan:
I just did.
Casey:
You got her a harmonica?
Dan:
Not just any harmonica. A Hohner super
Chromonica in the key of E flat.
Casey:
What does that mean?
Dan:
I don't know, and neither will she, but I also got her an instruction manual.
Casey:
Harmonicas have instruction manuals?
Dan:
I figure she'll be playing the blues in no time. What'd you get her?
Casey:
A hat.
Dan:
A hat?
Casey:
Yes. An Indiana Jones hat, she's always
wanted one.
Dan:
She has?
Casey:
Yes.
Dan:
I'd think she'd look goofy in one of those hats.
Casey:
Everyone looks goofy in one of those hats except Harrison Ford.
Dan:
But you got her one anyway. Because
she's always wanted one.
Casey:
Because she's always wanted one.
Dan:
Nice, man.
[pause]
Casey:
Donna's coming tonight.
Dan:
[looks up] What?
Casey:
To Dana's thing. Donna's coming.
Dan:
Has Donna met Dana?
Casey:
For maybe half a second.
Dan:
Ah. [pause] So at this party, we're going to have Dana, Donna, and Dan.
Casey:
Yes we are.
Dan:
Sounds like a bad sitcom.
Casey:
Dana, Donna, and Dan sounds like a bad sitcom?
Dan:
Like a ripoff of Three's Company.
[Casey
shakes his head as Donna appears in the doorway. She holds a small paper bag in her hand; it looks like she
brought a lunch with her.]
Dan:
Hey, Donna.
Donna:
Hi, guys, um, listen, can I ask you a question?
Casey:
Sure.
[Donna
comes in and closes the door.]
Donna:
Dana's that tall blonde woman, right?
Casey:
Yes.
Donna:
Okay, do you think she'll like this?
[She
opens the bag after a quick check over her shoulder and pulls out a blue
accessory-ish scarf.]
Donna:
I just got it this morning.
Casey:
I think she'll like that very much.
Donna:
[looking relieved] Oh good, I mean, I don't even know her, so I don't want to
show up at her party empty-handed. I'll
feel bad.
Casey:
[standing] I'm gonna get a sandwich, you want anything?
[Dan
and Donna shake their heads, and Casey leaves. Dan continues writing. Donna
sits down in front of his desk, looking around the office with interest.]
Donna:
How're you doing?
Dan:
Just fine, Donna, how are you?
Donna:
I'm good. [pause] Can I use your phone?
Dan:
Sure.
[Donna
picks up the phone and dials. After a
moment, she smiles.]
Donna:
Hi, it's me, just calling to, you know, check in… In their office…
[Dan
looks up.]
Donna:
Yeah, Dan's sitting about ten feet away. [She covers the receiver with her hand
and speaks to Dan.] Josh says hi.
[Dan
waves with a smile.]
Donna:
[into phone] Dan says hi… How's everything going? Has the White House shut down yet? No need to be a smart-aleck… Yes, day after tomorrow… Okay, I'll
hurry… Well, tell Toby to be nice to you and see where that gets you… No, it
probably won't work, but it's worth a try… I'm gonna go now, I'll talk to you
soon… Bye.
[Hangs
up.]
Donna:
Thanks.
Dan:
No problem.
[pause]
Donna:
Do you think Casey's interested in me?
Dan:
I can't say.
Donna:
You don't know, or you can't say?
Dan:
Either.
Donna:
Well, either you know or you don't.
Dan:
Why don't you ask Casey?
Donna:
I talked to him for a long time last night, I probably should have asked him
then, huh?
Dan:
Would have been a good opportunity.
Donna:
Must've slipped my mind.
Dan:
I'd say the talking to you is a good sign.
Donna:
You think so?
[Dan
stands and goes in front of his desk, leaning on it.]
Dan:
I can say that he at least likes you as a person.
Donna:
That's good to know.
[Dan
smiles.]
Donna:
He's not seeing anyone right now, is he? He didn't mention anyone, so I'm assuming not.
[Dan
looks uncomfortable but smiles through it.]
Dan:
Not really, no.
Donna:
Not really?
Dan:
Right.
Donna:
Okay.
[Casey
reenters with half a sandwich in his hand.]
Casey:
Did I miss anything?
Dan:
We plotted a revolution, but other than that…
Donna:
What's on your sandwich?
Casey:
Roast beef and muenster.
Donna:
Mustard?
Casey:
Yep.
Donna:
A roast beef and mustard sandwich, huh?
Casey:
No, it's roast beef and muenster, as in muenster cheese, but there's mustard on
it too.
Donna:
So, why didn't you say mustard the first time?
Casey:
I don't usually name the condiments.
Donna:
They're part of the sandwich too.
Casey:
[laughing] You sound like Dana.
[Dan
smiles a bit and moves to the door.]
Dan:
I'm gonna go see if Nat's having a nervous breakdown.
Casey:
[still looking at Donna] Yeah.
[Dan
leaves, bumping into Dana as he does so. Dana looks over her shoulder and is momentarily thrown by the sight of
Casey and Donna talking.]
Dana:
Who- who is that?
Dan:
That's Donna.
Dana:
Donna who?
Dan:
You met her earlier, remember, the White House lady?
Dana:
Right, her. She's still here?
Dan:
No, she left, but her spirit remains with us.
Dana:
Did you get my note about trimming your intro for the 40s?
Dan:
No.
Dana:
Trim your intro for the 40s.
Dan:
Gotcha.
Dana:
Dan, let me ask you something.
Dan:
Shoot.
[They
stop walking- by this time they're in the control room by the door to the
studio. Dana pulls Dan through the door
into the editing room {tape library?}, which is empty.]
Dana:
Am I insane?
[pause]
Dan:
Do I get context, or is that it?
Dana:
With the dating plan thing, am I crazy?
Dan:
Um.
Dana:
Because I get the distinct impression that everyone but me thinks this is a bad
idea.
Dan:
[floundering] It's… probably not something I would do, but that doesn't
necessarily make it a bad idea.
Dana:
I think it's a really good idea, I've got a really good feeling about this,
Danny.
Dan:
Good.
Dana:
So why do I suddenly feel like it's a bad idea?
Dan:
Would Donna have something to do with this?
Dana:
[needlessly lowering her voice] There's a rumor going around that Casey never
went home last night. He hasn't liked
this plan at all and has made no effort to go through with it, and suddenly
he's not coming home at night?
Dan:
From what I hear, it was just talk.
Dana:
So he did go home last night.
Dan:
No, he didn't go home, but he was just talking to Donna, nothing else. But that might change…
Dana:
[falsely] That's good, though. That's
good.
Dan:
[not buying it] Yeah.
Dana:
I'm not jealous.
Dan:
Good.
Dana:
Thanks, Danny. [leaves]
Dan:
Oh, boy.
[leaves]
[Scene:
Dan and Casey's office]
[Casey,
Donna, Dana]
[It's
about two minutes after Dan and Dana left the room. Donna is still in the chair, Casey is sitting on Dan's desk.]
Donna:
Josh thinks all the guys I date are losers. He's probably right.
Casey:
Why does he think that?
Donna:
I don't know. [jokingly] Maybe he's
jealous.
Casey:
Well, he's your friend, right?
Donna:
Of course.
Casey:
Friends tend to be overly critical of each others'… interests.
Donna:
Still.
Casey:
Still.
Donna:
He should be supportive of me.
Casey:
Yes.
Donna:
[testing the waters] He doesn't think you're a loser, I know that much.
Casey:
I'm glad to hear it.
[Donna
quickly stands and kisses him. Dana,
showing impeccable timing, walks through the door and stops. Donna quickly pulls away and Casey faces
Dana.]
Casey:
Hey.
Dana:
[embarrassed] Sorry to interrupt.
Donna:
It's okay… [sits down]
Casey:
[smiling] What do you need?
Dana:
I… I honestly can't remember.
Casey:
Must've been something.
Dana:
Must have, but I can't remember just now. [laughs uneasily] I'll remember in a
few minutes.
Casey:
Okay.
[Dana
leaves and pauses outside the doorway. She's not happy with herself, or Casey.]
Dana:
[under her breath] Oh, boy.
[Walks
away.]
[Scene:
Jeremy's desk, post-party]
Jeremy
[VO]: This place is like a big high school. I heard all this from Natalie who heard it from Dan who heard it from
Casey… and more than likely the whole studio knows about this by now. Casey decided he had to tell Donna about the
dating plan, but I'll get to that in a minute. In the meantime, Dana's party got underway. Natalie decided to try something she'd seen on TV to get Dana
there, so she needed someone from whom Dana wouldn't suspect anything.
[Scene
cuts to Isaac walking down the hall to the control room. The show has just wrapped, maybe a minute
before, and Dana is speaking with Dave.]
Isaac:
[sternly] Dana. [Gestures for her to follow him.]
Dana:
Hang on, Dave. [To Isaac.] Yeah?
Isaac:
[gestures again] He'll be here when you get back. Follow me.
[They
go to the conference room; Dana looks worried.]
Isaac:
I really gotta hand it to you, Dana.
Dana:
What's the matter?
Isaac:
I just got a phone call from Luther Sachs. He wants to know about Jorge Esposito.
Dana:
What about Jorge Esposito?
Isaac:
He wants to know why we did a 3 minute feature on him.
Dana:
He's a serious contender for Rookie of the Year, he came out of nowhere, has a
.367 batting average and, oh yeah, that left leg of his? It's a prosthetic.
Isaac:
Be that as it may, Luther is not happy.
Dana:
And why is that, Isaac?
Isaac:
Because apparently, Jorge Esposito hates white people.
Dana:
That was a remark he made five years ago to his manager in Spain that was blown
completely out of proportion. He said,
and I quote, "Americans aren't ever going to accept a crippled Spanish kid
who doesn't speak their language. I
don't connect with Americans." Never has he said anything about hating white people; that's something
the media has shamelessly perpetrated.
Isaac:
Don't put something like that in there last minute, Dana, I don't want to be
catching flak from the network anymore. [Begins to leave.]
Dana:
[following him] Isaac-
Isaac:
They're waiting for you in my office.
Dana:
[stopping in her tracks] All of them?
Isaac:
Yes, come on.
Dana:
Isaac-
Isaac:
Luther doesn't like to be kept waiting, Dana.
[Dana
swallows and walks after him. She is
distracted and doesn't notice that the hallways are oddly empty. They get outside Isaac's office.]
Dana:
Oh, boy.
Isaac:
[feeling a little bad] Dana-
Dana:
Oh, boy, Isaac. [Opens the door,
walks in.]
Everyone
in the world: Surprise!
[Dana
stops in the doorway and looks at Isaac, who shrugs, laughing. Dana looks back into the room, smiling
hugely.]
Dana:
You guys!
[Casey
shoves Natalie forward.]
Casey:
This has been killing her for two weeks.
[Dana
hugs Natalie.]
Dana:
You guys…!
[She
is close to tears. Casey and Dan step
forward, and each of them peck her on the cheek. Isaac does the same.]
Casey:
Happy birthday, Dana.
[Dana
smiles. Donna watches from the
background. Natalie grabs Dana's
shoulders and shoves her into a chair, and Casey picks up a small gift from the
pile in the corner and tosses it into her hands.]
Casey:
Don't say we never gave you anything.
[Dana
laughs and opens it- it turns out to be the scarf from Donna.]
Dana:
[turning it over] There was no card. Who is this from?
[No
one says anything, but Donna raises her hand. Dana smiles at her, touched.]
Dana:
Thank you…
Donna:
You're welcome. [Gestures
vaguely.] I thought it would look nice…
with your hair…
Dana:
[smiling] I bet it will.
[She
drapes it over her shoulders, and while it may not go with what she's wearing,
it does go nicely with her hair. Casey, who is standing near Donna, jostles her with his elbow, and she
smiles at him. Dan lobs a small present
to Dana - it is wrapped in what looks like a sheet of computer paper.]
Isaac:
Nice wrapping paper.
Dan:
It's last night's script.
[Dana
opens it and looks in polite confusion at the harmonica.]
Dana:
It's a harmonica.
Dan:
A Hohner super Chromonica-
Dana:
Eb.
Dan:
[pause] Hm?
Dana:
It says "Eb."
Dan:
That means "E flat." It's in
the key of E flat.
[Dana
plays a note on the harmonica.]
Dan:
Just like George Harmonica Smith.
Casey:
You just made that name up.
Dan:
I did not! He's a famous blues
harmonica player.
Casey:
Anyone else here ever heard of Joe Harmonica Smyth?
Dan:
George Harmonica Smith.
[Dave
raises his hand.]
Dan:
Thank you!
Natalie:
[nearly bursting] So, Dana… were you surprised?
Dana:
About the harmonica? Yes-
Natalie:
About this. [Gestures around the room.]
Dana:
Yes, Natalie, I was surprised.
Natalie:
Oh good.
Dana:
I can't believe you kept this from me.
Casey:
Neither can we.
[Donna
elbows him in the ribs.]
Donna:
Be nice.
Jeremy
[VO]: Dana was happy, obviously. You
could tell just by looking at her. And
Natalie was thrilled, of course. But
there was something in Dana's eyes that wasn't right, Louise. I'm not saying I can read her like a book,
but when it comes to Casey, you don't have to try very hard.
The
party's lasted awhile, and at one point when everyone was otherwise occupied,
we noticed that Casey and Donna were missing.
[Scene
fades into Donna following Casey into the office. Casey closes the door and sits on the desk, Donna on the couch.]
Donna:
What's up, Casey?
Casey: There's something I didn't tell you.
Donna:
I'm sure there are many things you didn't tell me.
Casey:
Well-
Donna:
Like whether or not you're interested in me.
Casey:
Ah. That's complicated.
Donna:
How?
Casey:
Well, I am interested in you, Dana.
Donna:
Donna.
Casey:
Hm?
Donna:
I'm Donna. You called me Dana.
Casey:
That's… that's the complicated part.
Donna:
Remembering my name?
Casey:
The complicated thing is Dana.
Donna:
Oh.
Casey:
She's got this… plan…
Donna:
How do I figure into this plan?
Casey:
[sighs deeply. He does not want
to do this.] Dana… and I… will eventually be seeing each other. It's just a matter of six months.
Donna:
I don't understand.
Casey:
Dana wants me to date other women for six months before I start dating
her.
Donna:
Has someone told her that this is a ridiculous idea?
Casey:
Many, many people have told her this is a ridiculous idea.
Donna:
And she's sticking to it.
Casey:
She's sticking to it. And it really
isn't…
Donna:
Logical? Sane? Fair?
Casey:
Any of those things. And the thing is,
Donna, I like you. I do.
Donna:
But you want this to work with Dana.
Casey:
Yes.
Donna:
So you're going to do as she says, even though you know it's a stupid idea.
Casey:
Y-yes.
[pause]
Donna:
The thing is, Casey… the thing is, I like you, I really do, but I don't want to
start seeing you if in six months I'm going to be out in the cold again.
Casey:
Yeah.
Donna:
[she stands] I hope Dana comes around.
Casey:
So do I. I'm gonna… [gestures to the door]
Donna:
Yeah.
Casey:
[pecks her on the cheek] You're something, Donna. [leaves]
[Donna
looks down at the desk and traces her finger over it lazily, as if she's
thinking.]
Donna:
I'm something.
[She
picks up the phone and dials.]
Donna:
[into phone] Hey, it's me… Yeah, I'm coming home soon… [smiles] Before you know
it.
[Scene:
Jeremy's desk]
[And
he's still typing.]
Jeremy
[VO]: I hope it's just a matter of time before Dana discovers that she's being
ridiculous. But I doubt it. We all do. Because Dana is Dana, and that means, well, she's a stubborn lady. I think Casey regrets Donna, but I think
it's something he should get used to as long as he keeps doing what Dana wants.
Anyway,
that's my long, sordid tale for the evening. I'll write some more as soon as you get back to me, so my response
depends solely on you, Louise. Take
care of yourself. Love, Jeremy.
[As
he hits the print command, Casey walks in from the general direction of Isaac's
office.]
Casey:
There you are. You been out here the
whole time?
Jeremy: Just finished a letter to Louise.
Casey:
You okay?
Jeremy: Fine.
Casey:
Okay.
[pause]
Casey:
I think Donna left.
Jeremy:
Ah.
Casey:
You'll be honest with me, right?
Jeremy: I'll try.
Casey:
Am I doing a wrong thing… you know, going along with the dating plan?
Jeremy:
You don't have much of a choice, do you?
Casey:
Not really.
Jeremy:
A few more are probably going to react the way Donna did.
Casey:
I wouldn't doubt it.
[Dana
enters. She's a bit drunk, and looks
very silly, as she's wearing Donna's scarf and the hat from Casey. She's also carrying a pinwheel.]
Dana:
What are you doing out here?
Casey:
Just having a talk.
Jeremy:
That's a good style for you, Dana.
Dana:
I think so, too! [takes off the hat]
I've always wanted one of these hats, and he remembered. [Pats Casey's shoulder and, almost as an
afterthought, puts the hat on his head. Jeremy smothers a laugh. Dana
pulls the harmonica out of her pocket and blows two loud, jarring notes on it.]
Casey:
Beautiful.
Dana:
Maybe I'll get lessons.
Jeremy:
That might be a good idea.
[Dana
rests her head on Casey's chest and closes her eyes, smiling.]
Dana:
Happy birthday to me.
[Casey
looks down at Dana, pained. He
hesitantly puts an arm around her shoulders and starts to steer her back to the
party.]
Casey:
C'mon, didn't Dan promise to sing you "Oh, Dem Golden Slippers"?
Dana:
Mm-hmm.
Casey:
Let's get back to your thing.
Dana:
[sleepily] Okay.
[Jeremy
watches them go. He pulls his letter
out of the printer and starts to fold it.]
[Fade
to title, then to black.]