by Avalon (avalon99@telusplanet.net)
http://members.dencity.com/avalon_online
J/C, R, 2/7
THE WATER IS WIDE II
"Awakenings"
Janeway woke in sickbay to find the Doctor standing over her with a tricorder. She blinked up at him in confusion.
"Doctor?"
"Welcome back to the land of the living. How are you feeling?"
She paused, taking stock. She felt...fine. There seemed to be no lingering pain from... And then memory hit her with a rush. The transporter. The agony she had felt... And Chakotay. "What happened?" she asked unsteadily.
"There was a transporter accident."
Janeway narrowed her eyes, gazing up at him. "What kind of accident?"
The Doctor snapped the tricorder shut and spoke, not answering her question. "Well, you're healthy as the proverbial horse. You might have a bit of a headache for a while, but that will soon fade..."
"Doctor. What kind of accident?" His uniform was slightly different too, she noticed. Suspicion began to creep up on her.
The hologram sighed and set the tricorder down. "Are you sure you're ready to hear this?"
The suspicion was doing more than just sneaking now. It had on large army boots and was clattering loudly across her consciousness. "Doctor..." Her tone was menacing.
"All right, but just remember, you asked."
Janeway waited silently and, with a sigh, he continued. "It was the kind of transporter accident that picked you up and whisked you across space-time into an alternate universe. This isn't your ship, it's not your crew, and I'm not your emergency holographic program. Welcome aboard, Captain Janeway."
She stared silently up at him while her suspicions leaped out and whacked her over the head with a large shovel. Transporter accident. Alternate universe. Oh my.
Well, that explained why Chakotay was still on board... Her mind was beginning to ramble, she realized distantly, as she struggled to take it all in.
The Doctor was still speaking. With an effort she refocused on him and interrupted. "What?"
"I said...'there's one more thing you should know'."
"What?" Dimly she wondered what else the day could hold. So far, she had been dragged out of her universe and dropped into this one, had experienced pain, the memory of which still curled her toes and would probably give her nightmares for a week, and had been soundly and thoroughly kissed by her First Officer. Former First Officer. Alternate Universe version of her former First Officer. What more could possibly happen?
"We don't know how to send you back," the Doctor said.
Oh. Ask a stupid question. Janeway muttered something.
"Pardon?"
"I said," she repeated, louder, "I guess I'm not in Kansas anymore, Toto." And then she had to resist the insane desire to laugh at the expression on the Doctor's face.
* * *
Janeway was still coming to terms with her altered reality ten minutes later, when the door to sickbay opened and B'Elanna Torres catapulted in. "I feel fine..." she was saying, sitting on the edge of the biobed, as the Klingon arrived. Both turned toward the newcomer...and B'Elanna took three quick paces across the room where, without pause, she threw both arms around Janeway and hugged her tightly. "You're alive," she said, a note of sheer joy in her voice.
Janeway sat frozen with surprise, but before she had time to even frame a reply, the woman had hastily released her, her face showing embarrassment. "Uh...sorry, Captain. It's just..."
"What do you mean, 'I'm alive'?" More nasty suspicions began to parade in formation across Janeway's mind.
B'Elanna turned to the Doctor, their eyes meeting in quick, silent communication -- a conversation in which Janeway was obviously not included. "What's going on?" she asked, more forcefully.
The Doctor spoke, but not to her. "Capt...Chakotay ordered us not to tell her."
"She has a right to know."
"Excuse me." Janeway cleared her throat, and they both looked back at her. With careful calm, she spoke: "First...I'd like you both to stop speaking about me as if I weren't here, and second...I want to know what is going on. Now!" The last word snapped out, heavily laden with every last ounce of command phrasing she had.
B'Elanna didn't quite snap to attention, but it was a near thing. "All right," she said to Janeway. "I'll tell you."
The Doctor shot her a glance. "Chakotay will not be happy with you, Lieutenant."
"Since when did that ever stop me?" She shot him a small smile then turned back to Janeway, who was waiting with studied patience. "This could take a while."
"I'm not going anywhere," the Captain replied, folding her arms and sitting back.
B'Elanna sighed then pulled herself onto the adjoining biobed, perching on the edge. She frowned at the hologram. "Doctor."
"Yes?"
"Go away."
He snorted, an offended look appearing on his face. When he made no move to go, B'Elanna spoke again. "Computer, deactivate..."
"Never mind," he interrupted hastily. "I can do it myself, thank you." He turned to Janeway. "If you need anything, you know where to find me." Then, with one more baleful look at the Klingon, he deactivated himself.
Janeway waited until he had completely vanished, then turned back to B'Elanna. "Well?" Her tone was softer now and filled with what might have been trepidation. Suddenly she was certain that she didn't want to hear this. And just as certain that she had to.
"Well, to start with, in this Universe, you're... well... you're dead."
* * *
Janeway had taken the news of her appearance in this universe and her alter-ego's death rather well, she thought. After all, it wasn't as if she had never heard of alternate universes. She had read the reports of the original Enterprise's foray into what they called the "Mirror Universe" and of the crew of DS9's further experiences with that reality. And she had even met herself once, when Voyager had split into two separate ships. She had died in that reality too, she remembered.
So, the concept of a reality where she was dead wasn't that difficult to cope with. No, the worst part was dealing with everybody else's reaction to her. Well, B'Elanna's and Chakotay's, so far. Especially Chakotay's. No. She wouldn't think about that now. Instead, she forced herself to concentrate on B'Elanna's words.
"You...er...our Captain Janeway...died eight months ago.
"How?" Her voice was flat.
The Klingon shifted uncomfortably. "Are you sure you want to know?"
"Yes."
B'Elanna sighed. "There was...a shuttle accident."
Janeway couldn't say she was surprised. If this reality was anything like her own, there would have been an ongoing series of shuttle accidents over the past few years. Lately it had seemed like her crew couldn't take a shuttlecraft anywhere without crashing it. She was really going to have to do something about that -- maybe a refresher course in shuttlecraft piloting, or... With an inward kick, she rounded up her roving thoughts and returned her attention to the conversation.
"Your...Captain Janeway's shuttle was caught in an ion storm. It crash-landed and..." B'Elanna choked on the words.
"Was I...was she...alone?" Janeway asked gently, a hunch growing within her.
"No."
Janeway had never heard the Engineer sound so upset. Hesitantly she reached out to touch the other woman's shoulder. B'Elanna jerked backwards, twisting away before she could make contact. Then the Klingon took a deep breath and said, steadily enough:
"Tom Paris was piloting the shuttle. He died on impact." Her eyes shone with unshed tears and she wiped them away fiercely with the back of one sleeve.
"Oh, B'Elanna..." Janeway didn't know what to say. For a moment it felt as if her Tom Paris had died. Giving in to her instincts, she reached out and pulled the other woman into a hug. B'Elanna stiffened, as if she would pull away then, without warning, relaxed and leaned her head against Janeway's shoulder.
* * *
Janeway's tunic was slightly damp by the time B'Elanna pulled away, looking embarrassed again. "Sorry," the Engineer said, her voice slightly muffled. "I thought I was over this. It's just..." Her voice trailed off.
"I know." Janeway surreptitiously brushed away a tear of her own. "I know," she said again, pain lacing her words.
"Anyway," B'Elanna continued determinedly, "after Tom...died...you...uh...she sent a distress signal. Voyager came as quickly as it could, but your injuries were too severe. You died a few hours before we arrived. We retrieved your body and...and Tom's...and you were both buried in space." She paused, then forged onward. "I know that you left a log, but Chakotay is the only one of us who's ever seen it. Tom...didn't have the chance to leave a message."
Hurriedly, the Klingon stood and took several paces toward the door, holding her emotions ruthlessly in check. "I've got to go, Captain. I just...thought you should know what happened. And...I wanted to see you again. With you here, it's...almost like the accident never happened. Not really. It's almost as if..." Abruptly, she turned and moved rapidly toward the exit. Silent and unmoving, Janeway watched her go.
The sickbay doors had swung open for her when B'Elanna paused in the doorway and turned back. "There's just one more thing..."
Janeway waited. After a pause, B'Elanna continued. "I know he probably doesn't want you to know this...but, I think you should. Captain Janeway...was five months pregnant when she died... And...and Chakotay was the father."
And with that shattering disclosure, she was gone.
TO BE CONTINUED