A Final Goodbye
by: Usa Serenity
Dearest Usagi,
I am writing this now, because my time here is almost over. The cold is almost too much to bear, even here in the house with the furnace going as high as possible.
I wanted to be able to tell you these things in person, but it doesn't seem that I'll get the chance. I knew about you from almost the beginning. I admired your strength, but was so frightened every time I saw your slim shadow dance across my window in the darkest hours of the night. I worried that you wouldn't make it back, I worried that you would be hurt in some way, I worried that you would be taken by one of those horrible monsters, but most of all, I worried that you would forget me.
You see, your conception was anything but normal. Your father and I had been trying to conceive for several years, and had just been to a fertility specialist and received devastating news. I was barren. Your father and I cried and prayed that somehow the doctors were wrong. We wanted children so badly.
One month later, a miracle happened....you. I knew you were a true miracle, but didn't know just how much of one you really were until just passed your fourth birthday.
I was eight months pregnant with Shingo, hanging wallpaper in what would be his nursery, when I lost my footing and fell from the ladder. I felt a grinding pain in my abdomen, and could only cry as I saw the reddish liquid oozing from between my legs. You came running in, scared, and screamed when you saw me lying on the floor, clutching my stomach in pain.
I saw it, even though I denied it for years, the shining crescent moon on your forehead flashed a brilliant gold, and you were calm. You walked over to me and laid one small hand on my stomach. I felt a warmth there, and my pain was gone.
Your father came running in about that time, and rushed me to the hospital where I gave birth to your brother. Shingo and I were completely healthy, and I told myself that I must have been unconscious for a few moments and had a really spectacular dream. Pregnant women have strange dreams sometimes, you'll find out soon enough.
It wasn't until many years later that I learned the truth. I saw you transform. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, but my heart contracted, nonetheless. The sight of that golden crescent moon on your forehead brought back the memories that I had convinced myself were only dreams, and I cried for an hour, huddled on the floor of your room that still seemed to sparkle with the energy of your transformation.
I knew at that moment, that you weren't truly mine. I knew you had a destiny that outshone any that I could imagine for you. I began to stay up late at night just watching out my window, looking for the telltale shadow that meant you were at it again. How you were able to maintain the courage and strength to fight again and again, was a question that I asked myself daily. But, I always knew the answer, it was your shine.
The cold is even stronger now, my fingers are almost numb with it. I need to finish this up soon, so I can be with your Father and Shingo when the time comes. I weep for Shingo's young life that will be cut short. Don't harbor guilty feelings. I know that you would only allow this if it was absolutely necessary. Now, our souls can watch over you, as you embark on a new journey, your true destiny.
We will all be with you in times of joy and of sorrow. My only regret is that I won't be there when you are married to your love. I could always see the love that wove you and Mamoru together. It was almost tangible. I think that was why your father acted the way he did, he knew he would lose you to Mamoru, it was only a matter of time.
I hope I was able to be a good mother to you in your short time with me. I tried my best, and loved you with all my heart. In the end, that's all that really matters anyway. If you love with all of yourself, without barriers and conditions, then and only then do you truly love.
Be safe, my precious Usagi, and fulfill this destiny that is greater than any other. Give Mamoru a kiss from me, and know that I'll always be in your heart.
Love,
Mom
by: Usa Serenity
Dearest Usagi,
I am writing this now, because my time here is almost over. The cold is almost too much to bear, even here in the house with the furnace going as high as possible.
I wanted to be able to tell you these things in person, but it doesn't seem that I'll get the chance. I knew about you from almost the beginning. I admired your strength, but was so frightened every time I saw your slim shadow dance across my window in the darkest hours of the night. I worried that you wouldn't make it back, I worried that you would be hurt in some way, I worried that you would be taken by one of those horrible monsters, but most of all, I worried that you would forget me.
You see, your conception was anything but normal. Your father and I had been trying to conceive for several years, and had just been to a fertility specialist and received devastating news. I was barren. Your father and I cried and prayed that somehow the doctors were wrong. We wanted children so badly.
One month later, a miracle happened....you. I knew you were a true miracle, but didn't know just how much of one you really were until just passed your fourth birthday.
I was eight months pregnant with Shingo, hanging wallpaper in what would be his nursery, when I lost my footing and fell from the ladder. I felt a grinding pain in my abdomen, and could only cry as I saw the reddish liquid oozing from between my legs. You came running in, scared, and screamed when you saw me lying on the floor, clutching my stomach in pain.
I saw it, even though I denied it for years, the shining crescent moon on your forehead flashed a brilliant gold, and you were calm. You walked over to me and laid one small hand on my stomach. I felt a warmth there, and my pain was gone.
Your father came running in about that time, and rushed me to the hospital where I gave birth to your brother. Shingo and I were completely healthy, and I told myself that I must have been unconscious for a few moments and had a really spectacular dream. Pregnant women have strange dreams sometimes, you'll find out soon enough.
It wasn't until many years later that I learned the truth. I saw you transform. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen, but my heart contracted, nonetheless. The sight of that golden crescent moon on your forehead brought back the memories that I had convinced myself were only dreams, and I cried for an hour, huddled on the floor of your room that still seemed to sparkle with the energy of your transformation.
I knew at that moment, that you weren't truly mine. I knew you had a destiny that outshone any that I could imagine for you. I began to stay up late at night just watching out my window, looking for the telltale shadow that meant you were at it again. How you were able to maintain the courage and strength to fight again and again, was a question that I asked myself daily. But, I always knew the answer, it was your shine.
The cold is even stronger now, my fingers are almost numb with it. I need to finish this up soon, so I can be with your Father and Shingo when the time comes. I weep for Shingo's young life that will be cut short. Don't harbor guilty feelings. I know that you would only allow this if it was absolutely necessary. Now, our souls can watch over you, as you embark on a new journey, your true destiny.
We will all be with you in times of joy and of sorrow. My only regret is that I won't be there when you are married to your love. I could always see the love that wove you and Mamoru together. It was almost tangible. I think that was why your father acted the way he did, he knew he would lose you to Mamoru, it was only a matter of time.
I hope I was able to be a good mother to you in your short time with me. I tried my best, and loved you with all my heart. In the end, that's all that really matters anyway. If you love with all of yourself, without barriers and conditions, then and only then do you truly love.
Be safe, my precious Usagi, and fulfill this destiny that is greater than any other. Give Mamoru a kiss from me, and know that I'll always be in your heart.
Love,
Mom