Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. Zlich. Zero. If someone else has done
something like this, sorry. I've never read it and therefore was unaware
of its existence. The format of this document is from the "Application
to Date My Daughter" while Duo belongs to the fans. Well, actually, Sotsu
or something like that. Anywho! Try your luck at the APPLICATION TO DATE
DUO !!!
APPLICATION TO DATE DUO
Note: This application will be rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, birth certificate,
family lineage/history, and current medical report from your doctor.
1. What is your name, age, social security number, IQ and girl
scout rank?
2. Do you have one male and one female parent? ____
If "No", explain:
3. Are you the president of an Internet-based Duo-infatuated cult?
____
4. Do you have an entire CD devoted to pictures of him? ____
5. Does your teacher complain that you're always
drawing naughty pictures of him in class? _____
6. Do you have a nose ring, tongue
ring, or anywhere um, else ring? ____
7. Do you have a tattoo? ____
*If you have answered YES to #3, #4, or #5, discontinue
application and leave immediately.*
8. In fifty words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
9. In fifty words or less, what does DON'T HURT MY BROTHER
mean to you?
10. In fifty words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?
11. In fifty words or less, what does OMAE O KOROSU mean to you?
12. Church/Temple you attend: ____________________________
13. How often do you attend: ____________________________
14. When would be the best time to interview your mother,
father and preacher/priest/rabbi? ____________________________
15. Please fill in the blanks:
-If I was shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded
would be my ____________________________
-If I was beaten, the last place I would want beaten would be
my ____________________________
-The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is ____________________________
-When I meet a guy, the thing I always notice about him
first is ___________________________
*Note: If answer to last question begins with "D" or "A",
stop and leave the premises immediately- keeping your head low and
running in a serpentine fashion is suggested*
What do you want to be IF I *let* you grow up?
I swear that all the above information is correct to the best
of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm,
dismemberment, Chinese water torture, mental abuse,
being stuck on "Survivor" Island with Bill Clinton, and a hoard of
generally pissed off Duo fans.
Signature of applicant _________________________________
Signature of father _____________________________________
Signature of mother ____________________________________
Signature of preacher/priest/rabbi ___________________________________
Signature of physician_______________________
Thank you for your interest. For your sake. it had better be genuine
and
non-sexual! Expect 5-8 years for processing. You will be
contacted in writing if approved. If denied, don't
apply twice. Don't call me, I'll call you.