A rather pointless and stupid fic by Mother Mercury
Beware of terrible writing, bad grammar and weak plots.
Harry Potter walked through Trafalgar Square in London. He had always like going down there to see Nelsons Column and visit all the pigeons. Some people complained about the pigeons, about how they crapped all over the place, but Harry liked them. They reminded him of Draco and the lions that stood around the base of the column reminded him of Hogwarts.
Harry hadn't seen Draco since graduation, when they broke up. It wasn't because they didn't like each other, anything but, it was because Harry had a little too much to drink and ended up getting off with Justin Finch-Fletchley in the toilets. Draco decided to get revenge by kissing none other than Harry's best friend, Hermione. They parted ways that night and had seen each other only once in the five years since then, and it was at the very place Harry stood.
Sometimes he wondered if Draco missed him as much as he missed Draco. Probably not, he thought, with those good looks, he could get anyone he wanted. Harry imagined him walking down the high street, hand in hand with some Versace underwear model. Draco had never been afraid of letting the world know about his sexuality; they way he walked around with those two walking boulders at school said enough.
Harry had only one boyfriend since Draco - a Muggle man named Travis. They broke up because of Travis' unfortunate habit of dressing up like a woman, calling himself Trina and going after men at singles nightclubs. Harry decided he like him men to dress like men and for his men to show some sort of interest in him too, so he ended it. Besides, he had brown hair; Harry had always preferred blondes.
Sitting down on the edge of the fountain, a rather fat pigeon flew down and landed beside him. It gave him a strange look, like it was making fun of him or something.
'What d'you want?' He asked, holding out his hand with some seed in it. The pigeon cooed and cocked its head to the side sympathetically. 'No, there's nothing wrong with me.' It cooed again. 'No, I'm single and proud of it, thank you very much. Y'know, people are gonna think I'm weird if I keep talking to a pigeon.'
'People already think you're weird, Potter.' Came a drawling voice from behind him. 'Long time, no see, lover boy.'
'Too long, Draco.' He grinned and gave him a big hug. 'What have you been up to?'
'Erm, well, y'know, stuff.' He muttered. 'How have you been? Found a replacement for me yet?'
'Not quite. But don't think I haven't been trying. Have you found a replacement for Wonder Boy Potter?'
'Well, y'know…' He stared at his feet for a moment. 'No, I'm free as a bird.'
'Really? Listen, it's kinda cold out here and there's a real nice pub just down the way. D'you want to go get something to drink?'
'Sure, just let me make a call first.' He pulled a mobile out of his pocket.
'Since when do you use telephones, Mister Pureblood?' Harry asked with puzzlement.
'Since Enrique, the Calvin Klein knicker model.' He replied, and turned around to make his call. He lowered his voice to a whisper. 'Listen, sweetie, I'm going to be late home… no, I have to work late again… I'll be looking forward to that! I'm really sorry for having to do this again… yeah, I'll get home as soon as possible, I promise… see you later… I love you too.' He flipped the phone shut and put it back into his pocket. 'Let's go.'
~*
'You're joking! A cross-dresser, Potter? That really isn't like you!' Draco exclaimed, banging his glass on the bar for it to be filled up. 'That's all there's been since Hogwarts then?'
'Yeah, I guess after you, I could only go downwards. How many have you had then?'
'Merlin's beard, Potter, you expect me to remember them all? Just kidding… there were quite a few Muggles, let's see. There was Enrique, Calvin Klein model; Sylvio, the Prada model; Adonis, that wasn't his real name though, he was a Gladrags model; Maestro, a bartender in Hogsmead and… um, Hermione.'
'Sorry, did you say Hermione? You've got to be kidding! She was with Ron when we left Hogwarts.' Draco fell silent. 'You are kidding, aren't you?'
… 'Yeah, of course I am! You don't actually think I'd switch to women after you, do you Potter? Ha! So, where do you work now?'
'I own a store down in Diagon Alley that sells Quidditch memorabilia. Good profits, y'know.' He grinned and took another swig of Canterbury. 'What about you? Which modeling agency discovered the fabulous Draco Malfoy?'
'Funny, Potter, but I'm not a model. I'm working down at the Ministry of Magic. Next in line when Ludo Bagman finally decides kick the bucket.'
'Wow! Well, good for you.' There was something about Draco that had changed since Harry had last seen him. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he could tell there was something Draco wasn't telling him. He had been avoiding his eye since they met.
'You'll have to excuse me for a moment, I must use the little wizards room. D'you mind if I leave my cloak here?'
'Not at all, go have fun.'
'Will do.'
Harry watched his back as he left the smoky room. Such a nice rear-view. Nicer than any other Harry had seen. He took another drink of beer and stared out into space. Age had been treating Draco well; his porcelain skin was un-blemished and un-creased, his white-blond hair was perfect as ever and his body, well, Quidditch had done wonders for every part of it. And he was free, free as a bird, apparently. Harry was free too; didn't it just seem too perfect?
'Hey,' came a gruff voice from his side. 'That your phone that's ringin', buddy?'
'What?' La Cucaracha was coming from Draco's cloak. Should he answer it? He rummaged in the pocket until he brought the mobile out and flipped it open. 'Hello?' he said, uncertainly.
'Honey, where are you? I'm waiting here with the whipped cream and chocolate sauce, and you're nowhere to be seen. You said you would be home by now!' …Hermione? What the hell is Hermione doing calling Draco… oh, wait a minute… oh my, he wasn't joking…
'What? Er, sorry.'
'Is that all you can say, sorry? This is the seventh time this month that you've had to work late and I'm sick and tired of it. I didn't marry you so you could get me all riled up over the phone and then not show up. If you're not home in the next fifteen minutes, I'm going back to Ronald, yes I will! At least I know he cares about me!'
'Sorry, sweet cakes, I'll be there soon.' Harry tried to disguise his voice.
'Sweet cakes? This isn't Draco! Who is this? You pervert; tell me who this is right now! What are you doing with my husbands mobile? Is this how you get your jollies, you sick bastard?'
'No, you don't understand…'
'Harry! What are you doing with my mobile?' Draco snatched the phone from his hands. 'Who is this?… Hermione, I'm so sorry… no, it wasn't a sick perv… just an old friend…yes, I'm at work… I just went to the toilet… yes, I probably should've taken the phone with me… you do? Real whipped cream?… I'll try to be there as soon as possible… don't let it melt… no, I know that… I'll see you soon… yes I will.' He flipped it shut and gathered up his cloak. 'It's been a pleasure, Potter, but I really must be off now.'
'That was Hermione, why didn't you tell me you were married?'
'It's a bit harsh, don't you think? I'm real sorry, I should've told you, but I have to go now.'
A swish of his cloak and he was gone forever.
The end
So, poor Harry. I know that was really bad and really stupid and had absolutely no point whatsoever. I didn't want ff.net to delete my account because I didn't have any fics though. This was my first fic, I know it was pretty mild slash, but the next ones will be more yaoi and maybe yuri too. Do you peeps like f/f slash? I aim to please, so tell me do. Please read and review and let me know if you'd like to see more fics by me, Mother Mercury.