cheesequest
Quest for the Golden Cheese

Tingle: It all started when I was innocently "kalooh-kallaying" and this guy dressed in green walks up to me. I like green, don't get me wrong, but this guy was ALL green!

Psychiatrist: (heavily accented) Tahll mee aybut itt.

Tingle: Well....... (flashback)

Tingle: Extra, Extra map of North Clock Town only 3 rupees! Get it while it's hot!

Link: (strolls up casually) Why would anyone need a map of North Clock Town when they're standing in North Clock Town?

Tingle: What if you got lost?

Link: Then I'd ask you for directions.

Tingle: (Holds up a sign reading "Directions 4 Rupees", grins)

Link: Oh.

Tingle: WOULD you like a map?

Link: (scratches head) Errrrrrr........ No thanks!

Tingle: Go away in that case.

Link: WEEEEEEEEEELL EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Tingle: No, I won't excuse you.

Link: You know, you have a defiant spirit, how would you like to give up selling maps and become a partner in my adventures?

Tatl: Absolutely Not!

Link: Hush!

Tingle: (is being very quiet)

Link: (taps foot) Do you have an answer or not!?!

Tingle: (draws in dirt with foot, looks uncomfortable)

Link: WILL YOU OR WON'T YOU!

Tingle: (holds breath, lets it out in a WHOOSH, finally whispers) You said not to talk.

Link: What?

Tingle: (mumbles slightly louder) You said not to talk.

Link: Huh?

Tingle: (In almost normal voice) You said not to talk.

Link: I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU!

Tingle: (screams at top of lungs) YOU SAID NOT TO TALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Link/Tatl: (Is blown backwarsds by force)

Tatl: He's got strong lungs.........

Link: 10 rupees a day!

Tingle: Sold!

Tatl: Oy!

Link: Hold on to my arm!

Tingle: (complies)

Link: (plays song o' time, is transported)

Man: Top of the morning to you. (is 4 feet tall, carrying a shamrock, and dressed all in green)

Tatl: Tingle, I don't think we're in Termania anymore!

Link: (plays song OF time)

Tingle: Whoa! It's earlier today!

Tatl: Johnny, tell him what he's won!

Link: My name is LINK you idiot!

Tatl: Oy!

Tingle: (taps foot, crosses arms) Well......... what I win?

Tatl: OYYYYYY!

Link: I like sOY sauce!

Tingle: I like to play with tOYs!

Link: I'm a bOY!

Tatl: Shut up!

Link/Tingle: (silently leap into the air)

Tatl: Close your mouth I mean!

Link/Tingle: (glue each others lips together)

Tatl: (unpeels them)

Link/Tingle: YYYEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!

Commercial: (Kafei steps out dressed in a sweater vest at the beginning)

Kafei: (is wearing a very uncomfortable sweater vest, so he itches himself every few seconds. Speaks very slowly and robotically) I....am.....wearing....a.....sweater.....vest. It....is....very.....comfortable.

Anju: Oh Kafei, I love a man in a sweater vest! (rushes out, begins to hug the sweater vest)

Kafei: My.....sweater.....vest.....brings.....me.....babes.

*Back to the show*

Crew Member: (is giving Tingle a massage)

Tingle: A little lowe..... (notices everyone staring at him, shoos him away, looks at himself and realizes he's wearing just a towel, pulls up a privacy screen and changes)

Tatl: Oy!

Link: rOY!

Tatl: Let's just go ask the Great Fairy for a quest!

All: Walks there!

Kafei: Anju, get this dang, nerdy, uncomfortable vest off of MEEEEEEEE!

Anju: (Is snapping pictures of him and giggling)

Tingle: There sure are some wierd people in this world!

Tatl: (mumbling) Takes one to know one.

Link: Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho it's off to quest I go!

Great Fairy: Go find me some golden cheese! Shoo!

Tingle: Will this involve fighting?

Great Fairy: You'll probably die.

Tingle: Oh well!

(Link restarts time, and they start off for the ocean, tune in for the next episode of "The Quest for the Golden Cheese")