SCARECROW & MRS. KING
"A Moment of Clarity"
by shel
© march 2001
disclaimer: lee stetson, amanda king, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love belong to warner bros. and shoot the moon productions and possible other copyright holders. i certainly intended no infringement on their copyrights; i just wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear
archiving: fanfiction.net — please ask me first if you'd like to place it elsewhere...
rating: "pg"
summary: filler for "all the world's a stage" - a moment of truth arrives for lee
notes: contains minor references to "over the limit," "the triumverate," "utopia now," and even "unfinished business"please let me know if you enjoyed it and, if not, why notand, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames
"Amanda." Lee Stetson rolled over again and checked the time on his alarm clock. In spite of the fact that he had a lump on the back of his head and that he still had the chills from that leap into the pool, it was three-fifteen in the morning and he couldn't sleep. Amanda. For the past several months, it seemed that she was his first thought after waking and his last thought before falling asleep. But lately, the feeling seemed even stronger. Leaving the light off, he reached for the framed picture of his parents that he kept on his nightstand and gently rubbed his thumb over their images.
"She was amazing during this case. You should've seen her. She actually jumped with me into the pool. Not that I gave her much choice but she didn't even hesitate after I made my decision. And she saved my life. Again. Not to mention getting out of those cuffs. Leatherneck took great pleasure in informing her how long it took me to learn that trick but she didn't tease me about it. Not yet, anyway. Her improvisation at the playI am so proud of her. She's come such a long way since I met her. And, granted, she was familiar with Martinet's work but she was so enthusiastic about being in this play. She actually memorized the whole thing and she was only an understudy! I didn't know she was in a play in college. There's a lot about her I don't know which is funny considering that there are times I feel like I've known her forever. And when I think of the way I treated her when I first met her. I don't think you'd have been very proud of me. I wasn't happy at all about Billy forcing me to work with her and I didn't do much to hide it. She was a civilian. A mother. She knew nothing about my world. But she stuck by me. No matter what I said or what I did. Oh, she got angry with me and annoyed and frustrated but she kept insisting she was my friend. No matter how often I told her that there was no room in this business for friends or feelings. We don't talk about it much but I think she's forgiven me for a lot of it. Maybe she saw something in me and was willing to risk it. I think I've changed since I've known her. No, I know I have. While I've been teaching her how to be an agent, she's been doing something so much more important. She's been teaching me how to be a better person, a friend. She's made me feel again, made me care again. I've told her things I've never told anyone and it's felt good. I can't remember the last time I had a friend like Amanda. Someone I'm comfortable with, someone I look forward to seeing. Just seeing herI wish you could've known her. She is such a special woman and I can't imagine my life without her. Not anymore. I bet you'd have fallen in love with her just like" Lee nearly dropped the picture on his chest. He took a deep breath before he spoke again in a voice full of amazement and wonder, "Like me. I've fallen in love with her. I'm in love with her. With Amanda."
Never before had Lee Stetson stated a truth that filled him so completely with peace. He did love her. "I've made excuses to spend time with her but I never really thought about why. Reaching for her hand seemed automatic but it felt right. Her smile. Her laugh. Her kisses. I know those have usually been in the line of duty but there were those other timesWhen we were rehearsing in the Q-Bureau, if Francine hadn't have interruptedSometimes I wonder what it would be like toOh my GodLeslie. No wonder I fell for her. And I asked Amanda about the dress? How could I have been such an idiot? How could I not have realized then how I felt about Amanda? But what now? Do I tell her I love her? Do I tell her I care about her? Should I just start dating her? Amanda thinks of me as a good friend but is it more? The time we spend at work. The dinners. The concerts. I even took her to her class reunion. I know she's enjoyed the time we've spent together and I know enough to tell that she's attracted to me. Not exactly.' That's what she said after we spent the night chained together in the swamp. But what if she doesn't love me? What do I do then? Do I walk away? Do we just forget about it? What if it changes everything between us? I don't know, maybe it's time I took a risk and put my feelings on the line. See if I'm as good a student as she isTomorrow morning, we have to meet with Billy and wrap up the paperwork on this case and then I have to meet with Martinet and let him know what's going to happen. Maybe I'll talk to her when I get back to the Q-Bureau. I don't know what I'll say yet but I'm sure I'll think of something. I usually do."
Lee gently rubbed the photo again before placing it back on his nightstand. After closing his eyes, he quickly drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face and dreamed of admitting his feelings to the woman he loved. "Amanda."
the end