Cerena: I'm feeling very mad right now. I just realized that I have played through the entirity of Majora's Mask, and they didn't once mention me! I'll sue them! Or not... But anyway, this humor fic is about what would've happened in Majora's Mask if I was part of the game. You can probably imagine that things would get VERYYY crazy... And this is going to be chaptered. There are two scenes per chapter.
*****************************************************************************************
Majora's Mask Would Explode If I Was In The Game
Scene 1: Cerena has fallen into the land of Termina, and she has met the terrible enemy of the game, Skull Kid. She automatically goes into attack position, and Skull Kid has turned her into a Deku Scrub. Or, that was the way the script was supposed to go...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene 1: What REALLY happened.
Cerena: *falls into hole, and lands on lily pad facing Skull Kid* Wow... You are so cute... Wait a minute! The script says I have to fight him! NO FAIR!
Director: You have to go along with the script! Nintendo will fire me if you don't!
Cerena: What's your name?
Skull Kid:....Skull Kid....
Majora's Mask: IT'S MAJORA, YOU FOOL!
Skull Kid: Skull Kid! Skull Kid, Skull Kid, Skull Kid!
Majora's Mask: The script says Majora!
Skull Kid: Oh really? I don't see your name on this script...
Majora's Mask: IT'S BECAUSE THE IDIOTS THAT WROTE THIS SCRIPT sPELLED MY NAME WRONG!
*Everybody minus Cerena stares at Skull Kid, who is seemingly arguing with himself*
Skull Kid: I refuse to work with a mask that is verbally abusive!
Majora's Mask: Well, maybe if you actually did your job right, I wouldn't have to beat you up!
Skull Kid: DIE!!!
Majora's Mask: NEVER!
Cerena: *falls into dream mode, ignoring the fact that Skull Kid is choking himself, trying to choke the mask* What a hunky guy...
Director: I'm long gone...
Cerena: HEY! Skull Kid! Wanna go have a pizza?
Skull Kid; Sure! All of this floating has made me hungry...
Majora's Mask: What is this 'pizza' you idiot humans talk about? All day long on Friday, Skull Kid keeps saying "Yo! Pizza boy! I want a deep-dish pizza with BUGS on it! MWUAHAHA!' *shudders* It's so... evil... I feel the forces of the pizza calling to me...
Tatl: PIZZA IS EVIL! IT'S BAD FOR YOU, AND CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEFS, PIZZA IS NOT GOOD COLD!
Cerena: AACK!! IT'S A RABID NAVI IN DISGUISE! IT HAS COME TO HAUNT ME! AUGH!!!
Tael: ...Boo!
Cerena: AACK!! *faints*
Skull Kid: You guys! I can't date her if she's dead!
Majora's Mask: What a pity. She would've made a cute little Deku Scrub... *Makes Skull Kid poke Cerena with a Deku Stick, causing her to twitch*
Director: CUT!! SOMEONE GET THE DOCTOR!
*The doctor comes with a needle in his hand*
Cerena: OH, THE AGONY! Hey! What does that button do? *Gets up, knocking the doctor over, and causing him to stick the needle into the director's...uh... behind. Cerena then pushes a red button repeatedly, causing the set to fall down* Oops...
*The director advances towards Cerena with an axe in his hand*
Director: You're FIRED!
Cerena: Then who will you get to replace me? Link? *gags at the name*
Link: *stumbles on* Yo, my homeys! What's the word? Cerena will not be able to resist my stunningly handsome good looks! Say, baby, how 'bout I pick you up at five?
Cerena: How about you pick me up... NEVER IN YOUR PITIFUL, STUPID, USELESS LIFE?!?
Link: Man, you don't have to be so cruel... *starts to sing 'Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely*
Majora's Mask: STOP THE MUSIC! I HAVE AN ALLERGY TO MUSIC! I'm dying... I'm melting...oooh....Ahh... I'M COMIN' HOME, MOMMY! *pretends to die*
Skull Kid: *pokes at the mask on his face* I'm glad he's dead. HE ATE ALL OF MY ICE CREAM! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?! A SKULL KID CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT HIS ICE-CREAM!!
Director:...Can we please continue? I have kids at home. I cannot afford to lose my insanity, my wife will make me sleep on the couch,and I swear that's there is something living crawling in there!
Cerena: Ok, just have to find the script... *ruffles through big pile of banana peels left by Donkey Kong when they filmed his game* Got it! Ok... It says here I have to...Alright! I'm ready!
Director: Take 2!
Cerena: *Looks at reflection in water, and shakes head, looking terrified* OH NO! I FORGOT TO PUT MY LUCKY BARRETTES ON!!
Majora's Mask: I will turn you into a Deku Scrub!
Cerena: SHUT UP!
*Majora's Mask starts to shake his head at her, and Deku Scrubs start running at Cerena*
Cerena: STAMPEDE! *Takes out Ice rod,and freezes the ugly little Deku Scrubs*
*One VERY ugly Deku scrub starts to do the Hula, trying to make Cerena run so she can be turned into a Deku Scrub*
Timon and Pumbaa: HEY!!! THAT'S OUR PART!
*The duo chase after the terrified Deku Scrub, who trips and falls on the Big Goron, who is instantly killed. Or not.*
Big Goron: Hey, Big Deku Scrub, wanna go out with me?
*The two run away together to get married in Las Vegas. The camera pans to Cerena's back*
Cerena: *swings her Fire-rod around, burning the camera man* Ho, hum. This Deku Scrub scene is awfully lame.
Majora's Mask: YOU HAVE DEFIED ME!! THAT MEANS.... THAT I'LL BE TURNED INTO A RUBBER CHICKEN!! *forces Skull Kid to run away*
Cerena: HEY! YOU SAID WE COULD GET A PIZZA!
Skull Kid: Good idea! *rips off mask, and runs towards Cerena, but passes her and runs into Clock Tower* WHO GREASED THE FLOORS?!?!
Majora's Mask:... Why did the script stick us together in the first place, if I could have caused all of that evil myself?
Cerena: Duh! They stuck you on Skull Kid because you're ugly, and he's cute! No one loves an ugly
villain!
*Majora's Mask is picked up, and put on...LINK! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! No DOUGHNUT IS SAFE BY THIS UGLY DUO!*
Cerena: *stares hatefully at Link* I swear by my mighty Fire/Ice/Light rod that I WILL DEFEAT YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL! *rushes towards Link, brandishing her light-rod, which is actually a light-sabre*
Link: You shall not defeat me that easily! *backflips just before Cerena is about to cut him to pieces, and disappears with an evil laugh*
Cerena: .... I will get you... Even if it is the last thing I do...
Director: CUT! Excellent scene! I think... We just have to do a LOT of editing... BUT THAT LAST SCENE WAS TERRIFIC!
**********************************************************************************************
Scene 2: Cerena has made a new ally... And a new terrible evil has arose. Cerena must now go through the Clock Tower, and meet the Happy Mask man. But of course, she has to screw everything up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cerena: *walks up set of stairs* What would happen if I fell down one of those holes that those shafts are turning in?
Skull Kid: You fall in Teletubby land. And it's not pretty.
*Cerena runs away screaming from the shafts, and bumps right into the Happy Mask Man*
Happy Mask Man: You know, I'M TIRED OF BEING NICE!! *starts to wring Cerena's neck, but she torches him with her fire-rod, so he wrings Skull Kid's neck instead* I WANT MY MASK BACK! It was so pretty... I found it in a flea market for a nickel... It has evil powers! The evil spirit of my EVIL TWIN IS TRAPPED IN IT! FIND IT OR YOU DIE!! I'm hungryyyy...
Cerena: Want a pizza?
Happy Mask Man: I WANT PIZZA!
Cerena: *turns out empty pockets* Anybody got any change?
*Skull Kid shakes his head no, and the Happy Mask Man throws a mask at Cerena. We assume he meant no.*
Cerena: We need some money! And I'm soooo hungry...
Skull Kid: Oh, my tortured soul! I DIN'T HAVE ANY PIZZA LAST WEEK, BECAUSE MAJORA IS ALLERGIC!
Happy Mask Man: Did someone say torture? *plays song of healing, singing very badly along with it* Be healed, be healed, be healed tortured soul. BE HEALED!
Skull Kid: ALRIGHT! I'M HEALED ALREADY!
Cerena: Do you think we can sell that phantom piano?
*The Happy Mask Man throws a mask at her. We're still assuming he means no. It's either that, or 'GET ME SOME SODA, YOU FREAK!'*
Cerena: ALRIGHT! I'M HEALED! Wait a minute... There are many unhappy people in Termina, right?
Skull Kid: If there is one single happy person, you can eat me.
Cerena: Well, that crazy guy's name does include 'happy'....
Skull Kid: I was kidding! DON'T EAT ME!
Cerena: We can charge twenty rupees for healing! They should be happy when they leave, 'cause the song has little hearts coming out of the mist when that crazy guy plays it...
Skull Kid: Alright!
*They set out a sign out front, saying 'All those in need of healing, come in! Admission: twenty ruppees. Unless you REALLY need healing. Then it's fifty rupees.'*
Postman: I need you to heal my poor broken spirit!
*The Happy Mask man plays the 'Song of Torture' for some crazy reason.*
Postman: I'M NOT HEALED! I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU ARE FAKE!
Cerena: BE HEALED! *Konks him on his head with her fire/ice/light rod*
Postman: I'M HEALED!! HAHAHAHA!! I JUST REALIZED THAT I HATE MY JOB, AND THAT THE MAYOR IS A BAD MAYOR, CAUSE HE tOOK AWAY MY CONSTITUTION RIGHTS! POSTMAN FOR MAYOR! MWUAHAHA!
*More people come in*
Anju: I have leukemia!
*Happy Mask Man plays 'Song of Broken Hearts'*
Cerena: *realizes that Anju is not healed* BE HEALED! *konks her over the head with her fire/ice/it-takes-so-friggin-long-to-type-this-every-time-she-konks-some-one-light rod, forcing Anju to bend over*
Anju: Ooh! Me like this position! *Anju runs off, bowing to everyone she meets. If you call putting your head so low that it's touching your knees bowing. That's why they put her behind a desk. If she goes too low, she ends up with a major head-ache*
*Finally, after giving people several problems, they have enough money to buy a pizza.*
Cerena: I want a double-cheese pizza!
Skull Kid; With bugs on it!
Happy Mask Man: And Bad Andy pieces on it!
Director: WHAT THE HeLL JUST HAPPENED?!?! Oh well, we'll just force Cerena to help those demented people with their problems in a stupid notebook...
****************************************************************************************
*****************************************************************************************
Majora's Mask Would Explode If I Was In The Game
Scene 1: Cerena has fallen into the land of Termina, and she has met the terrible enemy of the game, Skull Kid. She automatically goes into attack position, and Skull Kid has turned her into a Deku Scrub. Or, that was the way the script was supposed to go...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Scene 1: What REALLY happened.
Cerena: *falls into hole, and lands on lily pad facing Skull Kid* Wow... You are so cute... Wait a minute! The script says I have to fight him! NO FAIR!
Director: You have to go along with the script! Nintendo will fire me if you don't!
Cerena: What's your name?
Skull Kid:....Skull Kid....
Majora's Mask: IT'S MAJORA, YOU FOOL!
Skull Kid: Skull Kid! Skull Kid, Skull Kid, Skull Kid!
Majora's Mask: The script says Majora!
Skull Kid: Oh really? I don't see your name on this script...
Majora's Mask: IT'S BECAUSE THE IDIOTS THAT WROTE THIS SCRIPT sPELLED MY NAME WRONG!
*Everybody minus Cerena stares at Skull Kid, who is seemingly arguing with himself*
Skull Kid: I refuse to work with a mask that is verbally abusive!
Majora's Mask: Well, maybe if you actually did your job right, I wouldn't have to beat you up!
Skull Kid: DIE!!!
Majora's Mask: NEVER!
Cerena: *falls into dream mode, ignoring the fact that Skull Kid is choking himself, trying to choke the mask* What a hunky guy...
Director: I'm long gone...
Cerena: HEY! Skull Kid! Wanna go have a pizza?
Skull Kid; Sure! All of this floating has made me hungry...
Majora's Mask: What is this 'pizza' you idiot humans talk about? All day long on Friday, Skull Kid keeps saying "Yo! Pizza boy! I want a deep-dish pizza with BUGS on it! MWUAHAHA!' *shudders* It's so... evil... I feel the forces of the pizza calling to me...
Tatl: PIZZA IS EVIL! IT'S BAD FOR YOU, AND CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEFS, PIZZA IS NOT GOOD COLD!
Cerena: AACK!! IT'S A RABID NAVI IN DISGUISE! IT HAS COME TO HAUNT ME! AUGH!!!
Tael: ...Boo!
Cerena: AACK!! *faints*
Skull Kid: You guys! I can't date her if she's dead!
Majora's Mask: What a pity. She would've made a cute little Deku Scrub... *Makes Skull Kid poke Cerena with a Deku Stick, causing her to twitch*
Director: CUT!! SOMEONE GET THE DOCTOR!
*The doctor comes with a needle in his hand*
Cerena: OH, THE AGONY! Hey! What does that button do? *Gets up, knocking the doctor over, and causing him to stick the needle into the director's...uh... behind. Cerena then pushes a red button repeatedly, causing the set to fall down* Oops...
*The director advances towards Cerena with an axe in his hand*
Director: You're FIRED!
Cerena: Then who will you get to replace me? Link? *gags at the name*
Link: *stumbles on* Yo, my homeys! What's the word? Cerena will not be able to resist my stunningly handsome good looks! Say, baby, how 'bout I pick you up at five?
Cerena: How about you pick me up... NEVER IN YOUR PITIFUL, STUPID, USELESS LIFE?!?
Link: Man, you don't have to be so cruel... *starts to sing 'Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely*
Majora's Mask: STOP THE MUSIC! I HAVE AN ALLERGY TO MUSIC! I'm dying... I'm melting...oooh....Ahh... I'M COMIN' HOME, MOMMY! *pretends to die*
Skull Kid: *pokes at the mask on his face* I'm glad he's dead. HE ATE ALL OF MY ICE CREAM! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?! A SKULL KID CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT HIS ICE-CREAM!!
Director:...Can we please continue? I have kids at home. I cannot afford to lose my insanity, my wife will make me sleep on the couch,and I swear that's there is something living crawling in there!
Cerena: Ok, just have to find the script... *ruffles through big pile of banana peels left by Donkey Kong when they filmed his game* Got it! Ok... It says here I have to...Alright! I'm ready!
Director: Take 2!
Cerena: *Looks at reflection in water, and shakes head, looking terrified* OH NO! I FORGOT TO PUT MY LUCKY BARRETTES ON!!
Majora's Mask: I will turn you into a Deku Scrub!
Cerena: SHUT UP!
*Majora's Mask starts to shake his head at her, and Deku Scrubs start running at Cerena*
Cerena: STAMPEDE! *Takes out Ice rod,and freezes the ugly little Deku Scrubs*
*One VERY ugly Deku scrub starts to do the Hula, trying to make Cerena run so she can be turned into a Deku Scrub*
Timon and Pumbaa: HEY!!! THAT'S OUR PART!
*The duo chase after the terrified Deku Scrub, who trips and falls on the Big Goron, who is instantly killed. Or not.*
Big Goron: Hey, Big Deku Scrub, wanna go out with me?
*The two run away together to get married in Las Vegas. The camera pans to Cerena's back*
Cerena: *swings her Fire-rod around, burning the camera man* Ho, hum. This Deku Scrub scene is awfully lame.
Majora's Mask: YOU HAVE DEFIED ME!! THAT MEANS.... THAT I'LL BE TURNED INTO A RUBBER CHICKEN!! *forces Skull Kid to run away*
Cerena: HEY! YOU SAID WE COULD GET A PIZZA!
Skull Kid: Good idea! *rips off mask, and runs towards Cerena, but passes her and runs into Clock Tower* WHO GREASED THE FLOORS?!?!
Majora's Mask:... Why did the script stick us together in the first place, if I could have caused all of that evil myself?
Cerena: Duh! They stuck you on Skull Kid because you're ugly, and he's cute! No one loves an ugly
villain!
*Majora's Mask is picked up, and put on...LINK! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! No DOUGHNUT IS SAFE BY THIS UGLY DUO!*
Cerena: *stares hatefully at Link* I swear by my mighty Fire/Ice/Light rod that I WILL DEFEAT YOU ONCE AND FOR ALL! *rushes towards Link, brandishing her light-rod, which is actually a light-sabre*
Link: You shall not defeat me that easily! *backflips just before Cerena is about to cut him to pieces, and disappears with an evil laugh*
Cerena: .... I will get you... Even if it is the last thing I do...
Director: CUT! Excellent scene! I think... We just have to do a LOT of editing... BUT THAT LAST SCENE WAS TERRIFIC!
**********************************************************************************************
Scene 2: Cerena has made a new ally... And a new terrible evil has arose. Cerena must now go through the Clock Tower, and meet the Happy Mask man. But of course, she has to screw everything up.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cerena: *walks up set of stairs* What would happen if I fell down one of those holes that those shafts are turning in?
Skull Kid: You fall in Teletubby land. And it's not pretty.
*Cerena runs away screaming from the shafts, and bumps right into the Happy Mask Man*
Happy Mask Man: You know, I'M TIRED OF BEING NICE!! *starts to wring Cerena's neck, but she torches him with her fire-rod, so he wrings Skull Kid's neck instead* I WANT MY MASK BACK! It was so pretty... I found it in a flea market for a nickel... It has evil powers! The evil spirit of my EVIL TWIN IS TRAPPED IN IT! FIND IT OR YOU DIE!! I'm hungryyyy...
Cerena: Want a pizza?
Happy Mask Man: I WANT PIZZA!
Cerena: *turns out empty pockets* Anybody got any change?
*Skull Kid shakes his head no, and the Happy Mask Man throws a mask at Cerena. We assume he meant no.*
Cerena: We need some money! And I'm soooo hungry...
Skull Kid: Oh, my tortured soul! I DIN'T HAVE ANY PIZZA LAST WEEK, BECAUSE MAJORA IS ALLERGIC!
Happy Mask Man: Did someone say torture? *plays song of healing, singing very badly along with it* Be healed, be healed, be healed tortured soul. BE HEALED!
Skull Kid: ALRIGHT! I'M HEALED ALREADY!
Cerena: Do you think we can sell that phantom piano?
*The Happy Mask Man throws a mask at her. We're still assuming he means no. It's either that, or 'GET ME SOME SODA, YOU FREAK!'*
Cerena: ALRIGHT! I'M HEALED! Wait a minute... There are many unhappy people in Termina, right?
Skull Kid: If there is one single happy person, you can eat me.
Cerena: Well, that crazy guy's name does include 'happy'....
Skull Kid: I was kidding! DON'T EAT ME!
Cerena: We can charge twenty rupees for healing! They should be happy when they leave, 'cause the song has little hearts coming out of the mist when that crazy guy plays it...
Skull Kid: Alright!
*They set out a sign out front, saying 'All those in need of healing, come in! Admission: twenty ruppees. Unless you REALLY need healing. Then it's fifty rupees.'*
Postman: I need you to heal my poor broken spirit!
*The Happy Mask man plays the 'Song of Torture' for some crazy reason.*
Postman: I'M NOT HEALED! I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU ARE FAKE!
Cerena: BE HEALED! *Konks him on his head with her fire/ice/light rod*
Postman: I'M HEALED!! HAHAHAHA!! I JUST REALIZED THAT I HATE MY JOB, AND THAT THE MAYOR IS A BAD MAYOR, CAUSE HE tOOK AWAY MY CONSTITUTION RIGHTS! POSTMAN FOR MAYOR! MWUAHAHA!
*More people come in*
Anju: I have leukemia!
*Happy Mask Man plays 'Song of Broken Hearts'*
Cerena: *realizes that Anju is not healed* BE HEALED! *konks her over the head with her fire/ice/it-takes-so-friggin-long-to-type-this-every-time-she-konks-some-one-light rod, forcing Anju to bend over*
Anju: Ooh! Me like this position! *Anju runs off, bowing to everyone she meets. If you call putting your head so low that it's touching your knees bowing. That's why they put her behind a desk. If she goes too low, she ends up with a major head-ache*
*Finally, after giving people several problems, they have enough money to buy a pizza.*
Cerena: I want a double-cheese pizza!
Skull Kid; With bugs on it!
Happy Mask Man: And Bad Andy pieces on it!
Director: WHAT THE HeLL JUST HAPPENED?!?! Oh well, we'll just force Cerena to help those demented people with their problems in a stupid notebook...
****************************************************************************************