Wow! I've FINALLY managed to get over my block on Part Four! Anyway, this contains shounen-ai. Don't like it? Then utilize that wonderful, wonderful little button with the word 'back' on it at the top of your browser…otherwise, please enjoy. This is told from Jyou's POV. It's AU, so there are no Digimon 02 characters and references. All Digimon characters are owned by Toei (I think…), I'm only borrowing them and putting them in situations that will require extreme counseling in a few years. No biggie.
Paper Moon, Part Four
Say it's only a paper moon
Sailing over a cardboard sea
But it wouldn't be make believe
If you believed in me
Koushirou-kun's crying. My mind clumsily stutters through possible courses of action like that American cartoon, Porky Pig, reading Shakespeare. I never know what to do in situations like this; if there was an action figure of me, the instructions would most likely read 'open mouth, insert foot'. Finally, I do the only thing I can think of and hold him close, allowing him to sob inconsolably into my shoulder.
When's it my turn to get a shoulder to cry on? I dismiss the thought hurriedly back to the bitterness it spawned from, concentrating on rubbing Koushirou-kun's back consolingly.
Soon he pulls away, wiping his tears and looking stricken at his emotional collapse. I don't ask him who he loves so much that it would drive him to tears. It's none of my business; I'm sure if Koushirou-kun wanted to tell me, he would. Even though I already have a pretty good idea who it is.
What is it about Taichi-kun that makes everybody love him so much? But I already know the answer to that question too. Taichi-kun has a certain spark to him; he's so filled with life that people can't help but be drawn to it, can't help wanting to posses it. And what about you? I needle myself as Koushirou-kun sets up the chessboard again, desperate to pretend that nothing has happened. Is it any wonder that no-one notices you? If Taichi-kun is a firework display, then I'm one of the people watching it on the ground.
Love is for the beautiful, like Yamato-kun and Taichi-kun. All we normal people, Koushirou and I, can do is stand on the sidelines and hope for a ray of that beauty to touch us in some way. It's why I'm doing what I'm doing. Taichi-kun and Yamato-kun belong together.
"What are you two doing?" The voice cleaves through my thoughts like a knife through cold tofu. Yamato-kun leans over our game, the sunlight catching his blonde hair and turning it into a shining angelic halo. I look past him to see Sora-kun waving from a nearby bench cheerfully. Koushirou-kun glances at me with an unreadable look before getting up and offering Yamato-kun his spot. I want to protest somehow, but the words won't make it past the traffic jam in my throat.
"Chess, ne?" Yamato-kun's grin is friendly as he lowers himself gracefully onto the spot recently vacated by Koushirou-kun. "I've always wanted to learn, but I've never had the chance…" He explains, picking up one of the pieces to examine it closely.
My mouth, again rebelling against my brain's fervent protests, says, "It's not that hard to learn. Want me to teach you? Of course, you'd probably do much better with Koushirou-kun as a teach—"
He cuts me off, his crystal blue eyes looking serious. "Don't be so quick to dismiss yourself, Jyou. People might have more fun with you than you think! I think you'd teach me just fine…"
Something inside me warms briefly at his words, at the friendship that's sprung and grown between us over the past few weeks. Something to hold warmly against my heart when I'm feeling cold and bitter. But how long will it last? When he gets Taichi-kun, and I know he will, then how much time will he have to spend with me? Not to mention, you…well, that's old news, isn't it?
Reach out for him while you can, Yamato-kun. Don't let him be blind to your feelings.
"Okay," I smile, feeling happy even as my thoughts are warring inside. "The most basic pieces are pawns, and they usually only can move one space, however…" I lose myself in the joy of explaining something to a friend.
***
"Hey, Jyou-sempai! Move there!" Sora-kun has come over to watch the game, and provide helpful hints to the losing player, which would be me. Actually I'd appreciate it a lot more under different circumstances…such as when I'm not trying purposely to lose. Yamato-kun gives me a look as he checkmates me.
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" I'm surprised at his tone; it's neither hurt nor angry. Just teasing. "Yooshi!" He pushes back the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirt and sets up the chessboard again. "We'll see who loses this time!"
Is that a challenge? "I can lose to you any day of the week!" I say quickly, chuckling as Sora-kun starts to giggle. Even Koushirou-kun and Mimi-kun come to see what all the commotion is about, all three of them gathering around the board like it's a television screen or something similar.
I can't help it; I start to laugh as Yamato-kun makes a completely ridiculous move and smirks at me as if he's winning. Inspired, I then move my queen to a place that would have any professional chess player inwardly screaming over its stupidity. This is more fun than I would have thought possible.
***
I manage to lose yet again, which has Yamato-kun pouting at me and Sora-kun slapping me on the back. "Congratulations, Jyou-sempai…I think!" It's the first time I've ever been congratulated over losing something.
"You cheated." Yamato-kun grins, before unexpectedly reaching over the chessboard and tickling me. I laugh hysterically, even as I'm trying to avoid those rapidly moving fingers. As I've said before, my family has never been one for gestures of affection, and I'm a bit disturbed by them. Someone clears his or her throat, the sound bringing us back to earth. I see Sora-kun looking slightly embarrassed, with a tinge of red to her cheeks. Both Yamato-kun and I realize that our behavior might be uncomfortable to those around us suddenly. To those who see us as a couple.
But it's not that. I realize that Taichi-kun has finally shown up, and he's staring at us with an utterly bewildered expression on his face. Then some other emotion wrests control of his body; he turns red and stalks off.
Anger.
Or maybe…jealousy?
Whatever the case, I nudge Yamato-kun quickly, surprised as he turns to me with a questioning gaze. The space underneath the tree is empty now, except for the two of us; in the distance I can hardly make out Koushirou-kun and the four others at a refreshment stand. It's now or never.
"Go on!" I hiss under my breath. "Now's your chance!"
He finally understands what I'm saying, and quickly heads off in the same direction as Taichi-kun. To my infinite surprise, I find myself doing the same. Something perverse inside me, no doubt, wanting to make sure everything goes smoothly for the two.
***
"Listen! If you want to go out with Jyou it's none of MY business!" Taichi-kun exclaims angrily. I've never heard him so upset, and I inwardly cringe farther into my hiding place, the branches of the bush branding my arm with two twin scratches. I can tell by Yamato-kun's stanch he's rapidly losing his patience, his sky-blue eyes flashing dangerously.
"Would you just LISTEN to me?!" He retorts, stalking over to face Taichi-kun.
"Oh, so NOW you want to talk!" Taichi-kun sounds hurt. "You sure as hell didn't bother telling me beforehand!"
"And what would your reaction have been?!" Yamato-kun's voice is low; I have to struggle to capture the words. "Why are you acting this way?"
"Because…" Taichi-kun trails off. Brown captures blue as their gazes meet. And then lips do the same.
Even from here, I can tell the difference between the kiss I shared with Yamato-kun and this kiss. I watch carefully, subconsciously trying to memorize the face of love. Ignoring the knife twisting into my heart all the while…
Fireworks are beautiful, aren't they?
***
"Jyou-sempai! Where are you going?"
Sora-kun.
"To jump off of the nearest bridge I can find. Let's see if I can give an angel a chance to get its wings!" I'm only half kidding, the bitterness of my words hitting her like a smack in the face. "Home! Where else?!"
"What happened?" She whispers at my onslaught, causing a twinge of guilt somewhere deep inside. But as much as I want to, I can't tell her.
What happened indeed? The meeting was a waste of time as usual; the eight of us going over the same-old same-old of how we all missed our digimon. Yamato-kun and Taichi-kun could hardly keep their hands off one another…
But that's not what hurt…It was what I had expected, and THAT'S the reason I'm hurt. You can kiss your friendship with Yamato-kun goodbye! Who needs you when they have him?!
I continue on my way, wishing I had that shoulder right about now…
To be continued…