~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Closure
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
November 2001
They stood at the foot of the granolith, four aliens and four humans, waiting. The tears had long since abated, there simply weren't any left to shed. And so they waited in silence for something to happen. What, they didn't know.
The blinding pulse of light surprised them all and then they were gone. There wasn't a chance to bid a final farewell; they were just no longer there.
The humans that remained in the chamber stood disoriented and lost in their own separate misery. Somehow they had expected more. More than a flash of light. Something that would have been just as momentous as the message the others had received; a ship maybe swooping down from the clouds, or a gradual fading out as they were 'beamed' away. Too many science fiction shows and not enough real knowledge left them wanting more from whoever it was that had claimed their friends and lovers.
"So I guess that's it." Kyle was the first to speak.
"Yeah, I guess," Liz's agreement rang hollow in the cavern. "Umm, we should get back to Roswell before someone misses us." Numb with the shock of disbelief, she turned to leave.
Maria stood rooted to the spot. God, how could this be it? One moment Michael was there, standing next to her with her hand clutched tightly in his, and the next moment he was gone. She could still feel the soft warmth on her palm but that was all. How could she go on with her life and pretend that nothing had happened?
March 2009
They stood again at the foot of the granolith. No one had returned since that fateful day seven years before. It was out of a sense of protection that they had stayed away. They didn't want to draw attention to the object and elicit its removal for scientific study. It was all that was left of the others.
"What's going to happen?"
"I don't know, Kyle. But whatever it is, it's going to happen here." Alex watched the granolith closely, hoping to see some sign of what was to come.
Maria hung back from the rest. Her nerves on edge in the dim cavern. She could still remember the feelings that had coursed through her the last time, the utter sense of loss and desperation.
The granolith gave away no secrets, at least not to them. They were mere humans standing at the base of an alien creation. Spectators in the realm of the intergalactic and extraordinary.
The bright light blinded them, not entirely unexpected this time, and they shaded their eyes from the onslaught of its radiance. And then there was another in their presence.
They stared unbelieving at Tess as she stood before them, older and more haggard than she had been when she left. But it was her all the same.
"You came." Tess' voice was filled with both relief and trepidation.
Liz, Maria, Alex, and Kyle stared at her in disbelief.
"You called us here?" Liz asked, her voice trembling.
"They wanted it this way."
"What way? Who?"
Tess looked sadly down at the sand beneath her feet. "We were so lost there. It wasn't home, regardless of what they tried to convince us. We weren't who they wanted us to be, we couldn't be, we wouldn't even use their names. But we tried to help. We tried..."
"Where are the others?" Kyle stepped forward and extended his hand to the petite woman.
She raised her head and the faint trace of a smile played at her lips. "We all wanted to come home, to return here, to Roswell. We were just waiting until we were no longer needed. But the war was still going on, thousands of people were dying for a lost cause. We couldn't leave."
She paused and looked around at the faces of her old friends. She couldn't let herself accept Kyle's offer of comfort, not before she explained. "When the fighting got worse we forged an agreement. If something happened, we would come home, we didn't care about their cause anymore. I was separated from them in the battle. I should never have let it happen. We were always stronger when we were together. The united front kept us safe, but apart we were weak."
"Tess, what are you trying to tell us?" Alex asked gently.
"We loved you all; we hated being away. We would gather every night and talk about what we would do when we got back, who we would go to see first." She shook her head sadly. "But we had a plan just in case something did happen and we couldn't come home. If we couldn't live here, we wanted to at least be buried here."
"No!" Liz cried. "No, he's not dead. He can't be." She turned to face Maria. "Can he?" he voice was a whisper and she looked desperately into her friend's empty eyes.
"I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am to be the only one left. It shouldn't be this way..."
~~~
The ride back to Roswell was, if possible, even eerier than the ride to the granolith had been. Tess sat in the front seat, staring listlessly out the car window at the stars that still rained down.
"Even the heavens are crying for them." Liz felt empty, completely vacant of emotion. How could Max be dead?
They arrived at the darkened Crashdown, for lack of a better place to go, and silently filed in through the door, pulling up an extra chair to the booth while Liz ducked behind the counter to grab something for them to drink.
It was hard to grasp the thought that only Tess remained of the four who had left. How could they have died without someone knowing, feeling it somehow.
"Max and Isabel were in a safe house. Michael only left them there because he'd been assured of their safety. I had gone back to the government stronghold to try to reason with the administrator; Michael was there with me when we heard about the missiles being launched at the safe house. No one was supposed to know where they were, not even the administrator. We tried to get word to them to get out, Michael insisted on trying to reach them in time. It blew up just after he went in. None of them even had a chance." Tess hated to bring up the painful memories, but these people, the ones who had loved them and been loved by them, had a right to know. Her own pain was of no consequence.
"Michael, Max, Isabel... they died as heroes. They were trying so desperately to end the war. It did eventually end, but the losses were not acceptable, at least they weren't for me. The administrator didn't want me to leave but I'm no queen. I didn't even want to try to be one, not with everyone else dead."
"I loved them too. I had to hijack the incinerators just to get their remains to bring home. I had to, we had made a promise."
She dropped her head, finished with her part of the tale and waiting for the anger of the humans she had fought so hard to rejoin. It didn't matter, she had needed to come back and let them know that they hadn't been forgotten, that they were cherished.
"So, that's it? They're just... gone?"
Everyone turned to look at Liz. It was difficult to believe, but nothing had ever been easy with the pod squad. They had accepted that once, long before and the realization came back to haunt them again.
Tess turned her eyes to meet Maria's. She worried over the silence the woman had demonstrated. Maria had never been one to keep her thoughts quiet; the change troubled Tess more than a violent attack would have.
"Maria? Are you okay?"
She shook her head slowly. "No, I don't think I am."
"Oh God, Maria!" Liz exclaimed, in the turmoil of her own mind she had pushed aside everyone else, even Maria and her child. "How could I forget about Mickey?! What are you going to tell her?"
Tess was confused. Who was Mickey and why would Maria need to tell her anything.
"I'll tell her the truth: that her father died being a hero."
~~~
Maria stood at the threshold of the guest room again, watching her innocent daughter sleep. What would she tell her? She didn't know.
Poor Tess had launched into tears when she discovered that Michael had a child he would never even know existed. How fate could be so cruel, she didn't know. The woman had already been a wreck, the new information only helped to send her closer to the edge.
Kyle had at last insisted that she lay down somewhere and rest and Liz had offered the use of her old bed. None of them would be sleeping that night; someone might as well get some use out of the fresh linens.
Before she'd been ushered off to bed, Tess had produced a packet of letters written on paper they had had to make themselves. They had been written when the fighting had intensified to such an extent that no one was sure any of them would make it out alive.
Maria clutched her own, still unopened as she watched her sleeping angel.
~~~
Liz sunk down on the balcony, still able to see that Tess rested fitfully on her bed. She was concerned about her and had offered to stay nearby in case she needed her in the night.
Carefully unfolding the paper she'd been handed she began to read:
My dearest Liz,
You can't know how my heart aches to be with you again. I know that we will be together again some day, I have to believe it or I couldn't do what I have to do here.
Each night when I close my eyes all I see is your face, memories of you fill my dreams and it is because of you that I continue to lead as their king. I know it's what you would want me to do. But I'm not their king, and I never will be.
We've decided, the four of us, that when this war is over we will come home, all of us. Michael wants to leave now, regardless of the war and maybe he's right, maybe we should. But there are so many here who depend on us and I can't turn away from them.
Remember, Liz, I have always loved you and will always love you no matter what happens to me here. Take care of yourself and don't weep for me, I will always be there with you in your thoughts.
Love always,
Your Max
Liz looked back up at the sky. The meteor shower continued and she cried with the stars.
~~~
The road flew past him as Alex drove recklessly toward the quarry. Two visits in one day, that must be a record of some kind. He hadn't wanted anyone around though when he read what Isabel had to say to him. The car skidded to a stop on the gravel, sending bits of rock careening over the edge and into the pit below. He sat quietly behind the wheel, suddenly afraid to read her words but desperate to have some part of her near him.
Dear Alex,
I love you. I know I never told you when so I was there with you. I wish I had. I was afraid to. You know how nervous I was about letting anything tarnish the façade I had erected, it all seems ridiculous now.
The only reason you will ever read this is if I fail to make it back. I didn't want to write it because of that. I don't want to consider the possibility of never seeing you again.
I miss everything about Earth: my parents, Roswell and the stupid alien themes, but most of all I miss you. I will come back. I'll dreamwalk back to you if I have to. Don't forget me, please.
But if you do read this, just remember that I loved you.
Love,
Isabel
Alex dropped his hand, crumpling the paper in his fist as he fought against the rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. She loved him and she was gone, not just gone to another planet in some far distant galaxy, but gone forever. How could they go on without her beauty alive out there somewhere?
~~~
Tess roused from a nightmare, sitting up and trying to remember where she was. She had gone back, returned to Roswell with the letters and their ashes. It was all over.
She saw Liz sobbing on the balcony and eased out of the room, giving her the privacy she deserved. Her grief was hers to manage without the help of some alien invader who had, once upon a time, threatened the one true love of her life.
Padding softly down the hall she noticed a figure standing in the dim light. Maria: leaning against the doorframe of another room with Michael's letter to her held tightly in her hand.
Tess reached up and softly laid her hand against her arm, wondering at her stillness. Maria barely registered her presence and Tess looked past her into the room.
A child, still very young, lay sleeping peacefully on the bed. Even in the low light Tess could see the resemblance.
"He would have loved her. He would have loved being a father."
"Would he?" Maria asked. "I don't even know. I would like to think he would have, but I don't know."
"Yes," Tess replied, knowing that Maria needed whatever assurance she had to offer. It was a shock: seeing this Maria so different from the volatile, spunky girl they had left behind. Time changed them too, even without the benefit of a raging war.
"She has his eyes. Every time I look at her I see him."
"You're luckier than most then. You have a living reminder of the love you shared. Michael will live on through her."
She nodded and Tess continued down the hall.
"Thank you."
Tess stopped and turned around. "It's just the truth, Maria."
"No, thank you for bringing them back home."
She nodded and left Maria to her thoughts.
Hey Cheesehead,
I had to write that. You'd never believe it was me if I started off with 'dear'.
They say it was once beautiful here but all that has long since been destroyed, turned into a husk of death and destruction by a senseless war. Listen to me... you and Max must be rubbing off or something.
The others agree that our presence here is useless but we have to stay right? Try to help since they're so sure we're the key to their salvation. I just don't see that we're doing any good. There are too many warring factions. Too many sides.
It's hard to concentrate on telling you goodbye. I'll see you again, I know I will. Even when I'm working on strategies and attacks all I can see is your beautiful face.
Isabel tried to dreamwalk all of you but I guess we're just too far away, it wouldn't work. I've made sketches of you ever since we arrived here and on every surface that would stay still long enough for me to do it. Our world is covered with your image. Isabel has begun to call you Helen because of it, but she isn't criticizing, she misses Alex just as much. I don't think a night passes that she doesn't try to dreamwalk him even though we know it's hopeless.
I miss our fights, and the making up. There is no one else like you, Maria. Not here or on earth or on any other planet. I could never replace you, even if I tried and I could never try.
It's strange really. I was so sure that there was something better out there for me than Roswell, New Mexico and once I got here I realized that I was wrong. Everything that was good and right was in the place I'd been all my life, I had just never realized it before.
Don't be sad, Maria. I hate it when you cry, I'm made helpless by your tears. Remember our night together and the thousand other moments we shared and smile. I see your smile in the sunrise and your eyes in the moons. I will love you forever.
(I had to leave the planet to figure out how to be romantic. I'd say that's par for the course though, wouldn't you?)
Read Ulysses and remember me,
Michael
"What incensed him the most was the blatant jokes of the ones who pass it all off as a jest, pretending to understand everything and in reality not knowing their own minds."
*****Note: Now before people start saying evil things about me: Melpomene *was* the muse of tragedy. I just don't generally do happy endings. I mused (see? I can do puns!) over a happy ending for this but I couldn't get it to form well and it just didn't seem right so I went with my initial instinct: kill off all the aliens that I like and have the one I don't like turn out to be not so bad. I guess that's what comes from writing this last bit while getting a tattoo...
I'm considering an epilogue. I guess it will depend on the remarks this gets as to whether I follow through or not.
The Closure
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
November 2001
They stood at the foot of the granolith, four aliens and four humans, waiting. The tears had long since abated, there simply weren't any left to shed. And so they waited in silence for something to happen. What, they didn't know.
The blinding pulse of light surprised them all and then they were gone. There wasn't a chance to bid a final farewell; they were just no longer there.
The humans that remained in the chamber stood disoriented and lost in their own separate misery. Somehow they had expected more. More than a flash of light. Something that would have been just as momentous as the message the others had received; a ship maybe swooping down from the clouds, or a gradual fading out as they were 'beamed' away. Too many science fiction shows and not enough real knowledge left them wanting more from whoever it was that had claimed their friends and lovers.
"So I guess that's it." Kyle was the first to speak.
"Yeah, I guess," Liz's agreement rang hollow in the cavern. "Umm, we should get back to Roswell before someone misses us." Numb with the shock of disbelief, she turned to leave.
Maria stood rooted to the spot. God, how could this be it? One moment Michael was there, standing next to her with her hand clutched tightly in his, and the next moment he was gone. She could still feel the soft warmth on her palm but that was all. How could she go on with her life and pretend that nothing had happened?
March 2009
They stood again at the foot of the granolith. No one had returned since that fateful day seven years before. It was out of a sense of protection that they had stayed away. They didn't want to draw attention to the object and elicit its removal for scientific study. It was all that was left of the others.
"What's going to happen?"
"I don't know, Kyle. But whatever it is, it's going to happen here." Alex watched the granolith closely, hoping to see some sign of what was to come.
Maria hung back from the rest. Her nerves on edge in the dim cavern. She could still remember the feelings that had coursed through her the last time, the utter sense of loss and desperation.
The granolith gave away no secrets, at least not to them. They were mere humans standing at the base of an alien creation. Spectators in the realm of the intergalactic and extraordinary.
The bright light blinded them, not entirely unexpected this time, and they shaded their eyes from the onslaught of its radiance. And then there was another in their presence.
They stared unbelieving at Tess as she stood before them, older and more haggard than she had been when she left. But it was her all the same.
"You came." Tess' voice was filled with both relief and trepidation.
Liz, Maria, Alex, and Kyle stared at her in disbelief.
"You called us here?" Liz asked, her voice trembling.
"They wanted it this way."
"What way? Who?"
Tess looked sadly down at the sand beneath her feet. "We were so lost there. It wasn't home, regardless of what they tried to convince us. We weren't who they wanted us to be, we couldn't be, we wouldn't even use their names. But we tried to help. We tried..."
"Where are the others?" Kyle stepped forward and extended his hand to the petite woman.
She raised her head and the faint trace of a smile played at her lips. "We all wanted to come home, to return here, to Roswell. We were just waiting until we were no longer needed. But the war was still going on, thousands of people were dying for a lost cause. We couldn't leave."
She paused and looked around at the faces of her old friends. She couldn't let herself accept Kyle's offer of comfort, not before she explained. "When the fighting got worse we forged an agreement. If something happened, we would come home, we didn't care about their cause anymore. I was separated from them in the battle. I should never have let it happen. We were always stronger when we were together. The united front kept us safe, but apart we were weak."
"Tess, what are you trying to tell us?" Alex asked gently.
"We loved you all; we hated being away. We would gather every night and talk about what we would do when we got back, who we would go to see first." She shook her head sadly. "But we had a plan just in case something did happen and we couldn't come home. If we couldn't live here, we wanted to at least be buried here."
"No!" Liz cried. "No, he's not dead. He can't be." She turned to face Maria. "Can he?" he voice was a whisper and she looked desperately into her friend's empty eyes.
"I'm sorry. You don't know how sorry I am to be the only one left. It shouldn't be this way..."
~~~
The ride back to Roswell was, if possible, even eerier than the ride to the granolith had been. Tess sat in the front seat, staring listlessly out the car window at the stars that still rained down.
"Even the heavens are crying for them." Liz felt empty, completely vacant of emotion. How could Max be dead?
They arrived at the darkened Crashdown, for lack of a better place to go, and silently filed in through the door, pulling up an extra chair to the booth while Liz ducked behind the counter to grab something for them to drink.
It was hard to grasp the thought that only Tess remained of the four who had left. How could they have died without someone knowing, feeling it somehow.
"Max and Isabel were in a safe house. Michael only left them there because he'd been assured of their safety. I had gone back to the government stronghold to try to reason with the administrator; Michael was there with me when we heard about the missiles being launched at the safe house. No one was supposed to know where they were, not even the administrator. We tried to get word to them to get out, Michael insisted on trying to reach them in time. It blew up just after he went in. None of them even had a chance." Tess hated to bring up the painful memories, but these people, the ones who had loved them and been loved by them, had a right to know. Her own pain was of no consequence.
"Michael, Max, Isabel... they died as heroes. They were trying so desperately to end the war. It did eventually end, but the losses were not acceptable, at least they weren't for me. The administrator didn't want me to leave but I'm no queen. I didn't even want to try to be one, not with everyone else dead."
"I loved them too. I had to hijack the incinerators just to get their remains to bring home. I had to, we had made a promise."
She dropped her head, finished with her part of the tale and waiting for the anger of the humans she had fought so hard to rejoin. It didn't matter, she had needed to come back and let them know that they hadn't been forgotten, that they were cherished.
"So, that's it? They're just... gone?"
Everyone turned to look at Liz. It was difficult to believe, but nothing had ever been easy with the pod squad. They had accepted that once, long before and the realization came back to haunt them again.
Tess turned her eyes to meet Maria's. She worried over the silence the woman had demonstrated. Maria had never been one to keep her thoughts quiet; the change troubled Tess more than a violent attack would have.
"Maria? Are you okay?"
She shook her head slowly. "No, I don't think I am."
"Oh God, Maria!" Liz exclaimed, in the turmoil of her own mind she had pushed aside everyone else, even Maria and her child. "How could I forget about Mickey?! What are you going to tell her?"
Tess was confused. Who was Mickey and why would Maria need to tell her anything.
"I'll tell her the truth: that her father died being a hero."
~~~
Maria stood at the threshold of the guest room again, watching her innocent daughter sleep. What would she tell her? She didn't know.
Poor Tess had launched into tears when she discovered that Michael had a child he would never even know existed. How fate could be so cruel, she didn't know. The woman had already been a wreck, the new information only helped to send her closer to the edge.
Kyle had at last insisted that she lay down somewhere and rest and Liz had offered the use of her old bed. None of them would be sleeping that night; someone might as well get some use out of the fresh linens.
Before she'd been ushered off to bed, Tess had produced a packet of letters written on paper they had had to make themselves. They had been written when the fighting had intensified to such an extent that no one was sure any of them would make it out alive.
Maria clutched her own, still unopened as she watched her sleeping angel.
~~~
Liz sunk down on the balcony, still able to see that Tess rested fitfully on her bed. She was concerned about her and had offered to stay nearby in case she needed her in the night.
Carefully unfolding the paper she'd been handed she began to read:
My dearest Liz,
You can't know how my heart aches to be with you again. I know that we will be together again some day, I have to believe it or I couldn't do what I have to do here.
Each night when I close my eyes all I see is your face, memories of you fill my dreams and it is because of you that I continue to lead as their king. I know it's what you would want me to do. But I'm not their king, and I never will be.
We've decided, the four of us, that when this war is over we will come home, all of us. Michael wants to leave now, regardless of the war and maybe he's right, maybe we should. But there are so many here who depend on us and I can't turn away from them.
Remember, Liz, I have always loved you and will always love you no matter what happens to me here. Take care of yourself and don't weep for me, I will always be there with you in your thoughts.
Love always,
Your Max
Liz looked back up at the sky. The meteor shower continued and she cried with the stars.
~~~
The road flew past him as Alex drove recklessly toward the quarry. Two visits in one day, that must be a record of some kind. He hadn't wanted anyone around though when he read what Isabel had to say to him. The car skidded to a stop on the gravel, sending bits of rock careening over the edge and into the pit below. He sat quietly behind the wheel, suddenly afraid to read her words but desperate to have some part of her near him.
Dear Alex,
I love you. I know I never told you when so I was there with you. I wish I had. I was afraid to. You know how nervous I was about letting anything tarnish the façade I had erected, it all seems ridiculous now.
The only reason you will ever read this is if I fail to make it back. I didn't want to write it because of that. I don't want to consider the possibility of never seeing you again.
I miss everything about Earth: my parents, Roswell and the stupid alien themes, but most of all I miss you. I will come back. I'll dreamwalk back to you if I have to. Don't forget me, please.
But if you do read this, just remember that I loved you.
Love,
Isabel
Alex dropped his hand, crumpling the paper in his fist as he fought against the rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. She loved him and she was gone, not just gone to another planet in some far distant galaxy, but gone forever. How could they go on without her beauty alive out there somewhere?
~~~
Tess roused from a nightmare, sitting up and trying to remember where she was. She had gone back, returned to Roswell with the letters and their ashes. It was all over.
She saw Liz sobbing on the balcony and eased out of the room, giving her the privacy she deserved. Her grief was hers to manage without the help of some alien invader who had, once upon a time, threatened the one true love of her life.
Padding softly down the hall she noticed a figure standing in the dim light. Maria: leaning against the doorframe of another room with Michael's letter to her held tightly in her hand.
Tess reached up and softly laid her hand against her arm, wondering at her stillness. Maria barely registered her presence and Tess looked past her into the room.
A child, still very young, lay sleeping peacefully on the bed. Even in the low light Tess could see the resemblance.
"He would have loved her. He would have loved being a father."
"Would he?" Maria asked. "I don't even know. I would like to think he would have, but I don't know."
"Yes," Tess replied, knowing that Maria needed whatever assurance she had to offer. It was a shock: seeing this Maria so different from the volatile, spunky girl they had left behind. Time changed them too, even without the benefit of a raging war.
"She has his eyes. Every time I look at her I see him."
"You're luckier than most then. You have a living reminder of the love you shared. Michael will live on through her."
She nodded and Tess continued down the hall.
"Thank you."
Tess stopped and turned around. "It's just the truth, Maria."
"No, thank you for bringing them back home."
She nodded and left Maria to her thoughts.
Hey Cheesehead,
I had to write that. You'd never believe it was me if I started off with 'dear'.
They say it was once beautiful here but all that has long since been destroyed, turned into a husk of death and destruction by a senseless war. Listen to me... you and Max must be rubbing off or something.
The others agree that our presence here is useless but we have to stay right? Try to help since they're so sure we're the key to their salvation. I just don't see that we're doing any good. There are too many warring factions. Too many sides.
It's hard to concentrate on telling you goodbye. I'll see you again, I know I will. Even when I'm working on strategies and attacks all I can see is your beautiful face.
Isabel tried to dreamwalk all of you but I guess we're just too far away, it wouldn't work. I've made sketches of you ever since we arrived here and on every surface that would stay still long enough for me to do it. Our world is covered with your image. Isabel has begun to call you Helen because of it, but she isn't criticizing, she misses Alex just as much. I don't think a night passes that she doesn't try to dreamwalk him even though we know it's hopeless.
I miss our fights, and the making up. There is no one else like you, Maria. Not here or on earth or on any other planet. I could never replace you, even if I tried and I could never try.
It's strange really. I was so sure that there was something better out there for me than Roswell, New Mexico and once I got here I realized that I was wrong. Everything that was good and right was in the place I'd been all my life, I had just never realized it before.
Don't be sad, Maria. I hate it when you cry, I'm made helpless by your tears. Remember our night together and the thousand other moments we shared and smile. I see your smile in the sunrise and your eyes in the moons. I will love you forever.
(I had to leave the planet to figure out how to be romantic. I'd say that's par for the course though, wouldn't you?)
Read Ulysses and remember me,
Michael
"What incensed him the most was the blatant jokes of the ones who pass it all off as a jest, pretending to understand everything and in reality not knowing their own minds."
*****Note: Now before people start saying evil things about me: Melpomene *was* the muse of tragedy. I just don't generally do happy endings. I mused (see? I can do puns!) over a happy ending for this but I couldn't get it to form well and it just didn't seem right so I went with my initial instinct: kill off all the aliens that I like and have the one I don't like turn out to be not so bad. I guess that's what comes from writing this last bit while getting a tattoo...
I'm considering an epilogue. I guess it will depend on the remarks this gets as to whether I follow through or not.