Author's Note: This fic was
spawned by an episode of Xena that I saw a long time ago. Xena and an Amazon
were duking it out on some monkey bar-like crossbars over a fiery pit. This fic
came out of that five minute fight scene. Another note, you have to know how to
speak chibi to understand this story. S is TH, CH is TH, SH is TH, L is W or R.
I think that's all.
Disclaimer: I own everything.
Bow before me, inferiors!
Duo: That's a good way to get sued.
Ekaurii: Shut up! Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?
Duo: *very sarcastically* oh, of course not.
Ekaurii: Oy. ON WITH THE FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Attack
of the Chibis!
Duo was having fun
stomping OZzies in Deathscythe HELL. He hummed as he swung his beam scythe,
chopping three Leos and an Aries in half.
Almost finished here, he thought to himself. Too bad.
Duo chopped up a few
more Aries and was going for another when all hell broke loose. No, his gundam
didn't fall apart. A sudden thunder storm started chopping up the enemy mobile
suits. Duo watched as Mother Nature took her revenge on OZ, not even noticing
the black hole/time vortex thingummy that was opening up in front of him. He
did noticed when it started sucking the surrounding scenery (cows, trees,
buildings, etc.) into it. Duo hopped out of Deathscythe HELL to get a closer
look.
"What the-" Duo
exclaimed as he, too was sucked up.
After being spun around many
times, Duo was finally dumped, rather unceremoniously, onto a cold stone floor.
He struggled to feet, trying to reorient himself. A deep voice boomed from the
other side of the chamber:
"Hello, Duo,"
Duo spun around. "Who the
hell are you?"
"I am Shinigami." The
stranger boomed back
"Oh - hey wait, I'm Shinigami!" Duo protested. But he
had to admit, the other Shinigami looked more the part. Very tall, sweeping
black robes, hooded face. Very menacing.
"This is where I must
disagree." 'Shinigami' said, taking a step towards Duo. The effect was ruined,
however, when 'Shinigami' tripped on the hem of his robe.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he screamed, sounding surprisingly childlike, as he toppled forward to collapse
in a heap.
Duo stared at the unmoving
heap of black cloth. "Uh, are you okay?"
"Thtupid thtilts," a tiny
voice grumbled from inside the robes. A small form, a very small form,
struggled out of the pile of clothes. It was short, rumpled, kawaii, and had a
long, er, short brown braid.
"Hey!" Duo exclaimed.
Ekaurii poofes in. "Hay is
for horses!" She then poofed out. Both Duos blinked.
"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight."
Duo said, "As I was saying, you're me!"
"No thit, Thinigami. And
thoon, I'ww be the onwy you! Muahahahahahahahahahahaha!"
"Uh,
riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight."
"Aww over the worwd, the
thibis are attacking their big thelveth translation: selves, and thoon,
we wiww wule! Muahahahaha -"
"Your mini evil laughter is
starting to grate on my ears," Duo remarked dryly.
Chibi-Duo stuck out his
tongue. "Thtill, I thall take your plathe in the big worwd. Not to menthion
D-HELL," Chibi-Duo started chuckling insanely to himself.
"Keep your grubby paws off
my gundam!" Duo exclaimed indignantly.
"My pawth awen't gwubby…"
Chibi-Duo muttered to himself.
" And don't I get a fighting
chance?" Duo asked plaintively.
Chibi-Duo pouted. "Fine, I
gueth. We'ww battwe on…" his voice went deep and booming again. "the Monkey
Barth of DOOM, DOOM, DOOM, DOOM, DOOM…"
Duo let out a snort of
laughter. "Monkey bars? And is there an echo in here?"
Chibi-Duo looked
crestfallen. "Weww, what did you think we were going to do? Duke it out in
gundamth?"
"Hmm, you're right." Duo
admitted slowly
"Oh goodie!" Chibi-Duo
exclaimed. Suddenly the floor dropped away to reveal fiery pit crossed with
monkey bars. Unfortunately, Duo was in one of the spaces between bars.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Duo fell towards the dancing flames beneath them. He reached out and grabbed
one of the monkey bars, swinging himself up and onto a crosspiece. Chibi-Duo
was crouched on a crossbar a little way away, laughing his kawaii little ass
off. When he saw Duo was all right, he stopped laughing
"Damn. My little twick
didn't work. Oh well," he sighed dramatically.
"You little-!" Duo launched
himself at his chibi self.
"Thit," the chibi yipped,
jumping sideways as Duo shot past him. Chibi-Duo grabbed Duo's braid as it
flapped past his face, pulling Duo off balance. And seriously hurting his
scalp. (A/N: I tried wearing my hair in a braid for a few days, and Midori kept
tugging it and quipping, "What happens when you pull Ekaurii's braid in _____
class. It hurt!)
"Itai!" Duo fell flat on his
back, suspended between three monkey bars. Chibi-Duo giggled and jumped on his
chest (the part not supported by a monkey bar) and started bouncing around.
"Hee hee! Thith ith fun!"
Chibi-Duo laughed as he bounced around like a rabbit on speed.
"Not…ugh…for…me!" with the
last word, Duo flipped the mini-Shinigami off him by grabbing the chibi's
ankles and flinging him away.
"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
shrieked Chibi-Duo, sounding very Mini-Me-like. He thudded to a halt on one of
the monkey bars, sliding off. Duo breathed a sigh of relief, but Chibi-Duo
managed to hook a foot over the monkey bar and flip himself up.
"Shit!" Duo swore, "This is
going to take a while."
Meanwhile
All across the globe chibis
were turning on their bigger selves. Several small (very small) battles were
breaking out.