Purple Mountains
Disaclaimer: I don't own. Duh.

There was this one boy named Duo Maxwell. He went to this school in America. Well, one day, he forgot his math book at home. Duo thought he could just borrow one from the math teacher who we will call Mr. Morton.
When Duo got to school and Mr. Morton asked where his math book was, Duo replied that he left it at home and asked if he could borrow one.
"I will only let you borrow a math book and go to class if you tell me what the purple mountains are,"Mr. Morton replied.
"Uh...."
"You don't know what the purple mountains are?! I'm sorry, but I will have to send you to the principal."
So Duo went to the principal's office and the principal asked why he was sent to his office.
Duo replied,"I forgot my math book at home. Mr. Morton said that I could go to class if I told him what the purple mountains were. I didn't know, so he sent me to you."
"You don't know what the purple mountains are?"the principal asked. "If you don't know what the purple mountains are, you can't go to this school."
So Duo left the school and went home. Hilde asked why he was home, and Duo replied,"I forgot my math book at home. Mr. Morton said that I could go to class if I told him what the purple mountains were. I didn't know, so he sent me to the principal's office. The principal asked me why I was sent there and I told him. He said I couldn't go to the school if I didn't know what the purple mountains are."
"You don't know what the purple mountains are?"Hilde asked. "You can't be my boyfriend if you don't know! Now get out!"
So Duo packed a suitcase full of manga books and started walking down the street to God-knows-where. He was then stopped by a policeman.
"Why aren't you at school?"he asked.
Sighing, Duo said,"I forgot my math book at home. Mr. Morton said that I could go to class if I told him what the purple mountains were. I didn't know, so he sent me to the principal's office. The principal asked me why I was sent there and I told him. He said I couldn't go to the school if I didn't know what the purple mountains are. So I went home and my girlfriend dumped me so I couldn't stay where she was living."
"You don't know what the purple mountains are? You will have to go to jail."
And *sigh* so the policeman led Duo to the jailhouse and the police commisioner asked why he was there.
"I forgot my math book at home. Mr. Morton said that I could go to class if I told him what the purple mountains were. I didn't know, so he sent me to the principal's office. The principal asked me why I was sent there and I told him. He said I couldn't go to the school if I didn't know what the purple mountains are. So I went home and my girlfriend dumped me so I couldn't stay where she was living. Then that pliceman stopped me from going to God-knows-where and told me that I would have to go to jail if I didn't know what the purple mountains were."
"You don't know what the purple mountains are?! You're going to have to see the mayor."
And so Duo went to see the mayor and was asked why he was there.
And, of course, Duo replied,"I forgot my math book at home. Mr. Morton said that I could go to class if I told him what the purple mountains were. I didn't know, so he sent me to the principal's office. The principal asked me why I was sent there and I told him. He said I couldn't go to the school if I didn't know what the purple mountains are. So I went home and my girlfriend dumped me so I couldn't stay where she was living. Then that pliceman stopped me from going to God-knows-where and told me that I would have to go to jail if I didn't know what the purple mountains were. So the police commisioner asked why I was there in jail. I told him my reason and he said that if I didn't know what the purple mountains are, I would have to see you."
"You don't know what the purple mountains are? You will have to go see George W. Bush."
"Who's George W. Bush?"
"The President. Duh!"
And so Duo went to see Bush. And Bush asked why he was there. And Duo of course said,"I forgot my math book at home. Mr. Morton said that I could go to class if I told him what the purple mountains were. I didn't know, so he sent me to the principal's office. The principal asked me why I was sent there and I told him. He said I couldn't go to the school if I didn't know what the purple mountains are. So I went home and my girlfriend dumped me so I couldn't stay where she was living. Then that pliceman stopped me from going to God-knows-where and told me that I would have to go to jail if I didn't know what the purple mountains were. So the police commisioner asked why I was there in jail. I told him my reason and he said that if I didn't know what the purple mountains are, I would have to see the mayor. The mayor said that if I didn't know what the purple mountains were, I would have to see the president."
"That's a mouthful. Well, if you don't know what the purple mountains are, you can't be in this country."
And so Duo was put on a ship to God-knows-where and when the ship was in the ocean, a sailor asked why he was here.
And Duo replied,"I forgot my math book at home. Mr. Morton said that I could go to class if I told him what the purple mountains were. I didn't know, so he sent me to the principal's office. The principal asked me why I was sent there and I told him. He said I couldn't go to the school if I didn't know what the purple mountains are. So I went home and my girlfriend dumped me so I couldn't stay where she was living. Then that pliceman stopped me from going to God-knows-where and told me that I would have to go to jail if I didn't know what the purple mountains were. So the police commisioner asked why I was there in jail. I told him my reason and he said that if I didn't know what the purple mountains are, I would have to see the mayor. The mayor said that if I didn't know what the purple mountains were, I would have to see the president. The president said that if I didn't know what the purple mountains were, I would have to leave the country."
"Well, if you want to know what the purple mountains are, we could drop you of at an island where the wise guy would tell you."
So the sailor dropped Duo off at an island and Duo was about ready to cross the street when he got his by a car.
And the moral of this story is to look both ways before crossing a road. Oh, and, don't forget your math book.

The End