Moving On
Author: Evil Willow -lcaspell@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Distribution: My site:
www.crosswinds.net/~evilwillow/index.html Those of you who have my
other fics, feel free to take this one too, no need to ask. Those of
you who do not have my other fics, please ask and give me the URL to
your site. The answer's always yes. ;-)
Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Joss and the other stupids can have the characters back soon, even
though they won't do the right thing with them.
Category: Story/Romance/Angst
Couples: Buffy/Xander eventually, mentions of Buffy/Angel and Cordelia/Xander. Minor Willow/Oz
Spoilers: Major up to and including Becoming II. After that it's my world.
Summary: What would have happened if Xander found Buffy right after she sent Angel to hell at the end of Becoming II?
Author's Notes: Those of you who have grown to expect B/A from me, I'm sure you'll be surprised by this fic. No, I haven't lost my mind. Well, yes, I have, but that was LONG before I decided to write this fic. ;-)
Author's Notes 2: Why on earth am I writing this? A friend told me
she liked Buffy/Riley because they were normal. My response was ick,
and a decision to prove to her that if Buffy and Angel can't be together, there's another, better, 'normal' man for Buffy.
- Lyrics
* * - Thoughts
{ } - Memories
_ _ - Emphasis
*********************
and you're standing here beside me
in a picture in a frame
and your voice could never fade it's so familiar
things you said in my head
every day
you gave me so much
and now it's of the earth
and it makes me cry
it makes me cry, it makes me cry
and it can make me cry
(Cry -- The Sundays)
***********
6 pm
Buffy raised her sword over the kneeling Angelus, having knocked him
to the ground. She stopped suddenly as he gasped and moaned in pain,
his eyes glowing red momentarily. To her shock, he looked up at her,
and then collapsed to the floor sobbing. *It's a trick* she thought,
but her decisiveness wavered as he looked up at her again.
"Buffy? What's going on?" he asked softly, looking at her with an
expression of confusion. He got to his feet slowly, and said, "Where
are we? I ... I don't remember."
She lowered her sword slowly, searching his face, wanting to believe
that somehow Angel had really come back to her. "Angel?" she said
uncertainly.
He saw the cut on her arm, and reached out to touch it, saying,
"You're hurt!" She looked down absent-mindedly at her arm and then
back into his face. She let him pull her into his arms, holding her closely.
"Oh, Buffy...God. I feel like I haven't seen you in months."
Her last bit of wariness dissolved and she let herself relax, realizing he was
really back. *It worked, Willow saved him* she realized. She closed
her eyes and sighed in relief.
"Oh my God, everything's so muddled," he said. He sighed then and
kissed her on the shoulder. "Oh, Buffy."
She started to cry then, more in relief that the nightmare was over
more than for any other reason. Then, she heard a rumble. *No.*
She looked over his shoulder and watched in horror as Acathla's
face moved. His eyes began to glow, and his mouth opened, releasing
a vortex that Buffy realized was the portal to Hell. It was
small at first, but began to grow at a frightening rate.
*God, no, this can't be happening* Buffy thought in disbelief as she
pulled away and looked at Angel. Her Angel, who she had thought was
lost forever to the demon inside him. *Of all the horrible
Hellmouth-like timing. NOW, Willow managed to do the curse?*
She knew what she had to do, and in that moment she understood
Whistler's words to her earlier that day.
{"Maybe I should ask, what are you prepared to give up?"}
She held back a sob when Angel asked, "What's happening?"
She looked at him lovingly, and whispered, "Sshh...don't worry about
it." She brushed her fingers over his lips, and across his cheek,
realizing that this would be the last time she would ever see or
touch Angel, if she didn't want the whole world sucked into Hell. Leaving
her hand on his cheek, she kissed him gently. He returned the kiss,
and it deepened. Sensing rather than seeing that the vortex had grown
even wider, she knew she had to act before she lost her resolve. She
pulled away and whispered, "I love you." She looked into his eyes,
trying not to cry.
He whispered back, "I love you." The love and trust in his eyes
broke her heart. He believed that she would never hurt him,
but she was about to have to prove him wrong. She touched his lips
with her fingers, thinking, *Please forgive me* She said, "Close your
eyes," nodding reassuringly. He obeyed, and she kissed him one last
time.
*Good-bye, My Angel.*
She stepped back, raised her sword and thrust it into his chest. His
eyes flew open, a mix of shock, pain and confusion on his face. A
bright light emanated from the sword, and she stepped back. He
reached out to her, and then looked down at the sword still inside
him. She stepped back further, not wanting to take her eyes off the
sword, not wanting to look into the face of the only man she had ever
really loved but had been forced to kill.
"Buffy?" he said questioningly, not understanding what was happening.
That one word was enough to rip her heart in two. She saw the vortex
meet the energy emanating from the sword, and suddenly, Angel was
swept away into the vortex. After he disappeared, Acathla's mouth closed.
Acathla went dormant again.
But Angel was gone forever.
Buffy stared at the stone demon, as these two facts hit her. Then,
she fell to her knees, sobbing in unbearable grief, wishing that she
were dead.
&&&&&&&&&
She cried until there were no tears left, and then she sat there,
staring at the last place Angel had stood. Finally, she stood up,
shakily, and walked out the door. She looked at her watch, it was
close to dawn. She turned in the direction of her house, despite
thinking *I should go to Giles, to tell him that the vortex has
closed. We'll all live to see another day. Well, all of us except...*
she realized that she hadn't shed all of her tears, and had to stop
walking because of the blinding tears in her eyes. She leaned up against a
nearby tree and let the tears come, giving into the sobs wracking her
body.
She eventually got a grip on herself and continued toward her house.
She stopped outside, though, remembering her angry words with her mom
earlier.
{You walk out of this house, don't even _think_ about coming
back!}
*She didn't mean it. She has the right to freak-out occasionally* She
still didn't move, though. *I can't face her. I look like I've been
crying, she's going to want to know what happened. How do I explain
to her that I look and feel like shit because I just killed my boyfriend?*
She pushed away the urge to lose it again, as she tried to come to a
decision. *Okay. Not home. Where then? I can't face mom, I can't face
Giles...or Willow. She'll hate herself for being too late to save
Angel, even though I don't blame her. She had no way of knowing.*
"Buffy?"
Buffy stiffened as she heard the voice behind her.
Xander put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him.
"Are you okay?" he asked. She kept her eyes on the ground, not
wanting him to see her like this.
He put his hand under her chin though, raising her face to meet his
eyes. "I killed him," she whispered and put her face in her hands,
sobbing.
"Hey, come here," Xander pulled her to him. He held her as she cried.
He didn't try to tell her it was going to be okay, and she was
grateful for that. He just held her, stroking her hair gently.
Once the tears had subsided he said, "Come on. I'll help you inside--"
"No!" she yelled, and pushed him away.
"Okay, Buffy, I just want to help you. Let me take you somewhere
safe. The last thing you need is to be attacked by demons or vampires
right now," he said.
Buffy looked at him, intending to argue, but realized she was too
tired. She just wanted peace and quiet. "Fine," she shrugged. He put
one arm around her and led her down the street.
***********
"Can I get you anything?" He asked her. He had taken her back to his
house, and they were in his room.
She shook her head. She had her arms clutched tightly around her
waist, and was looking around absent-mindedly.
"Try to sleep, Buffy. I'll be upstairs on the couch," Xander said.
She walked over to the bed and laid down, curling herself into a
tight ball.
Xander sighed. He hated seeing Buffy like this. She had always been
the strong one, had saved his life more times than he could count.
He'd never seen her so fragile, so lost. He walked up to her, and
placed a quilt over her. She didn't move, unless you counted the
shaking caused by her silent crying. He sat down on the floor next to
the bed and watched her, not wanting to leave her alone.
End Part One
Author: Evil Willow -lcaspell@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Distribution: My site:
www.crosswinds.net/~evilwillow/index.html Those of you who have my
other fics, feel free to take this one too, no need to ask. Those of
you who do not have my other fics, please ask and give me the URL to
your site. The answer's always yes. ;-)
Disclaimer: They're not mine, I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Joss and the other stupids can have the characters back soon, even
though they won't do the right thing with them.
Category: Story/Romance/Angst
Couples: Buffy/Xander eventually, mentions of Buffy/Angel and Cordelia/Xander. Minor Willow/Oz
Spoilers: Major up to and including Becoming II. After that it's my world.
Summary: What would have happened if Xander found Buffy right after she sent Angel to hell at the end of Becoming II?
Author's Notes: Those of you who have grown to expect B/A from me, I'm sure you'll be surprised by this fic. No, I haven't lost my mind. Well, yes, I have, but that was LONG before I decided to write this fic. ;-)
Author's Notes 2: Why on earth am I writing this? A friend told me
she liked Buffy/Riley because they were normal. My response was ick,
and a decision to prove to her that if Buffy and Angel can't be together, there's another, better, 'normal' man for Buffy.
- Lyrics
* * - Thoughts
{ } - Memories
_ _ - Emphasis
*********************
and you're standing here beside me
in a picture in a frame
and your voice could never fade it's so familiar
things you said in my head
every day
you gave me so much
and now it's of the earth
and it makes me cry
it makes me cry, it makes me cry
and it can make me cry
(Cry -- The Sundays)
***********
6 pm
Buffy raised her sword over the kneeling Angelus, having knocked him
to the ground. She stopped suddenly as he gasped and moaned in pain,
his eyes glowing red momentarily. To her shock, he looked up at her,
and then collapsed to the floor sobbing. *It's a trick* she thought,
but her decisiveness wavered as he looked up at her again.
"Buffy? What's going on?" he asked softly, looking at her with an
expression of confusion. He got to his feet slowly, and said, "Where
are we? I ... I don't remember."
She lowered her sword slowly, searching his face, wanting to believe
that somehow Angel had really come back to her. "Angel?" she said
uncertainly.
He saw the cut on her arm, and reached out to touch it, saying,
"You're hurt!" She looked down absent-mindedly at her arm and then
back into his face. She let him pull her into his arms, holding her closely.
"Oh, Buffy...God. I feel like I haven't seen you in months."
Her last bit of wariness dissolved and she let herself relax, realizing he was
really back. *It worked, Willow saved him* she realized. She closed
her eyes and sighed in relief.
"Oh my God, everything's so muddled," he said. He sighed then and
kissed her on the shoulder. "Oh, Buffy."
She started to cry then, more in relief that the nightmare was over
more than for any other reason. Then, she heard a rumble. *No.*
She looked over his shoulder and watched in horror as Acathla's
face moved. His eyes began to glow, and his mouth opened, releasing
a vortex that Buffy realized was the portal to Hell. It was
small at first, but began to grow at a frightening rate.
*God, no, this can't be happening* Buffy thought in disbelief as she
pulled away and looked at Angel. Her Angel, who she had thought was
lost forever to the demon inside him. *Of all the horrible
Hellmouth-like timing. NOW, Willow managed to do the curse?*
She knew what she had to do, and in that moment she understood
Whistler's words to her earlier that day.
{"Maybe I should ask, what are you prepared to give up?"}
She held back a sob when Angel asked, "What's happening?"
She looked at him lovingly, and whispered, "Sshh...don't worry about
it." She brushed her fingers over his lips, and across his cheek,
realizing that this would be the last time she would ever see or
touch Angel, if she didn't want the whole world sucked into Hell. Leaving
her hand on his cheek, she kissed him gently. He returned the kiss,
and it deepened. Sensing rather than seeing that the vortex had grown
even wider, she knew she had to act before she lost her resolve. She
pulled away and whispered, "I love you." She looked into his eyes,
trying not to cry.
He whispered back, "I love you." The love and trust in his eyes
broke her heart. He believed that she would never hurt him,
but she was about to have to prove him wrong. She touched his lips
with her fingers, thinking, *Please forgive me* She said, "Close your
eyes," nodding reassuringly. He obeyed, and she kissed him one last
time.
*Good-bye, My Angel.*
She stepped back, raised her sword and thrust it into his chest. His
eyes flew open, a mix of shock, pain and confusion on his face. A
bright light emanated from the sword, and she stepped back. He
reached out to her, and then looked down at the sword still inside
him. She stepped back further, not wanting to take her eyes off the
sword, not wanting to look into the face of the only man she had ever
really loved but had been forced to kill.
"Buffy?" he said questioningly, not understanding what was happening.
That one word was enough to rip her heart in two. She saw the vortex
meet the energy emanating from the sword, and suddenly, Angel was
swept away into the vortex. After he disappeared, Acathla's mouth closed.
Acathla went dormant again.
But Angel was gone forever.
Buffy stared at the stone demon, as these two facts hit her. Then,
she fell to her knees, sobbing in unbearable grief, wishing that she
were dead.
&&&&&&&&&
She cried until there were no tears left, and then she sat there,
staring at the last place Angel had stood. Finally, she stood up,
shakily, and walked out the door. She looked at her watch, it was
close to dawn. She turned in the direction of her house, despite
thinking *I should go to Giles, to tell him that the vortex has
closed. We'll all live to see another day. Well, all of us except...*
she realized that she hadn't shed all of her tears, and had to stop
walking because of the blinding tears in her eyes. She leaned up against a
nearby tree and let the tears come, giving into the sobs wracking her
body.
She eventually got a grip on herself and continued toward her house.
She stopped outside, though, remembering her angry words with her mom
earlier.
{You walk out of this house, don't even _think_ about coming
back!}
*She didn't mean it. She has the right to freak-out occasionally* She
still didn't move, though. *I can't face her. I look like I've been
crying, she's going to want to know what happened. How do I explain
to her that I look and feel like shit because I just killed my boyfriend?*
She pushed away the urge to lose it again, as she tried to come to a
decision. *Okay. Not home. Where then? I can't face mom, I can't face
Giles...or Willow. She'll hate herself for being too late to save
Angel, even though I don't blame her. She had no way of knowing.*
"Buffy?"
Buffy stiffened as she heard the voice behind her.
Xander put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him.
"Are you okay?" he asked. She kept her eyes on the ground, not
wanting him to see her like this.
He put his hand under her chin though, raising her face to meet his
eyes. "I killed him," she whispered and put her face in her hands,
sobbing.
"Hey, come here," Xander pulled her to him. He held her as she cried.
He didn't try to tell her it was going to be okay, and she was
grateful for that. He just held her, stroking her hair gently.
Once the tears had subsided he said, "Come on. I'll help you inside--"
"No!" she yelled, and pushed him away.
"Okay, Buffy, I just want to help you. Let me take you somewhere
safe. The last thing you need is to be attacked by demons or vampires
right now," he said.
Buffy looked at him, intending to argue, but realized she was too
tired. She just wanted peace and quiet. "Fine," she shrugged. He put
one arm around her and led her down the street.
***********
"Can I get you anything?" He asked her. He had taken her back to his
house, and they were in his room.
She shook her head. She had her arms clutched tightly around her
waist, and was looking around absent-mindedly.
"Try to sleep, Buffy. I'll be upstairs on the couch," Xander said.
She walked over to the bed and laid down, curling herself into a
tight ball.
Xander sighed. He hated seeing Buffy like this. She had always been
the strong one, had saved his life more times than he could count.
He'd never seen her so fragile, so lost. He walked up to her, and
placed a quilt over her. She didn't move, unless you counted the
shaking caused by her silent crying. He sat down on the floor next to
the bed and watched her, not wanting to leave her alone.
End Part One