OK Set about two years after 'Reunion', Cos that was the last eppy guide I read. Angel hired Cordelia and Wesley back, killed Darla and Drucillia and still got home in time for a breakfast of Bucket O' Blood. I know Cordelia hates public transport but bear with me on this one OK?
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I only like to play with them and they all belong to Joss and David's imagination, oh yeah and the people they belong to!
Summary: The scrolls bring up a surprise for Angel and leads to friction between the group. In the end only sadness can bring peace of mind.
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I Never Understood:
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She walked through the streets of LA, not knowing where she was going but she knew that she had to get there by sun down. She didn't have anymore strength to kill, she had been killing and preparing to kill since she was 10 and now she was tired. She stopped outside of a run-down building that once must have been a grand hotel and the feeling became stronger. She was here. She slowly walked up the stone stairs, drenched to the skin in the rain that had been falling since the morning and was still falling now. Her leather backpack that contained everything she had clung and stung her skin but she didn't feel it anymore. The heavy door opened easily under her hand, she looked up to be confronted by a tall brunette.
"Hello, welcome to Angel Investigations. How may we help you." The brunette asked.
Angel Investigations? I think I have the wrong address. In fact I don't even know the address where I'm meant to be going." A drip of water ran down the bridge of her nose. "Um...can I maybe come in and wait until the rain stops please."
The brunette smiled down at the young teenager in front of her. "You're gonna think I'm strange but your not a Vampire are you?"
The girl let out a small laugh. "No, trust me I'm not a Vampire." A twang of Scottish showing out between her English accent.
"How do I know?"
"Watch me." The red head walked in straight past the woman and into the main entrance.
She looked up at the magnificent height of the hotel entrance. A huge crystal chandelier covered in spiders webs. Her eyes were drawn to a tall thin man walking out of a side room carrying a large old book.
"Hi Wesley this is...Sorry what is your name?"
"My name is Gypsy but people call me Gyps. Wesley? Your English. Where about's? I'm from Newcastle but I have an army accent."
"I'm from..."
Wesley was interrupted by a growling coming from the main staircase. "What is all the noise about down here? I am trying to sleep."
The red headed girl whipped around to the voice that had growled from the stairs. Her body tensed up and her senses were on alert. Something wasn't right. She reached inside her denim jacket and pulled out a short pointed stick.
"Wesley and...What ever your name is, get back. He's the Vampire not me."
Cordelia saw the stake raise by the teenage, she sprinted in front of her boss.
"Angel isn't any Vampire, you stupid girl. He's my boss and he's got a soul. Hold on how did you know he's Vampire? Are you from Wolfram and Hart?" Cordelia ranted.
"Wolfram and who? No, if your Angel then I have found who I am looking for." She noted the confused faces and understood they hadn't heard. "Let me explain. My name is Gypsy, and I have been looking for you for months. I'm a Slayer-in-training, and you've to become my new trainer."
She stood silently in the foyer letting the news sink in. She remember when she had been told. She had watched the Watchers Council truck drive away, her Watcher inside it. A strange demon had come and told her that she was to keep up the fight and look for the White Warrior. The White Warrior would help to show her the true path until she was called. When she had turned back around he was gone. Then she had felt drawn to Sunnydale then LA, she just followed her natural instincts. They led her here, to a souled Vampire, she never knew one existed.
"So let me get this, your a Slayer? You look nothing like Buffy, well your as small as she is but your not blonde. Mind you neither was Kendra or Faith." Cordelia shivered at the name. "I'm Cordeila by the way, his seer. This is Wesley, he was Faith and Buffys Watcher until the Council kicked him out."
"Thank-you Cordelia but she'll know who I am, at least my name. So you don't have a Watcher already. That's strange. After Faith and Buffy the council made sure that every Slayer-in-training was given a Watcher from the age of 10 so that they would know what to expect so another Faith incident wouldn't happen."
"I had a Watcher but he's...um...gone now. The Council took him back to England. I haven't seen his since. Then this weird smelly demon came up to and told me to find the White Warrior named Angel, you. He said you would show me the true path and help me."
Angel descended the rest of the stair and looked at the 5ft 5" teenager in front of him. He could here her heart beat accelerate and he could smell the fear radiating from her.
"It's OK. Don't worry I won't bite." He hope to see a cracked smile but instead she gripped the stake at her side harder in her hand. "So I've to train you, what did you say your name was again?"
"My name is Gypsy. I don't understand how a Vampire could work for the PTB. I mean I am trained to kill your kind and the smelly guys as well. Why are all these strange demons trying to help me?"
"I don't like the name Gypsy, have you got a nickname?" Angel asked, uncomfortable at the pasts reminder.
"My dad used to call my Gyps." Gypsy drifted off into a happy world where she could see herself playing with her dad in the river near their house in Scotland.
"Where are your parents now Gypsy?" Wesley asked, the text now lying on the reception desk. "Are they living in LA?"
"Both my parents died in a plane crash. I was found two days after the plane went down in the Caribbean. This was about 6 months after I turned ten and got my first Watcher. He sort of took me in and tried to be a parent and Watcher to me but we always ended up arguing all the time 'Cos I wanted a life and he didn't think that I would benefit from one. Just like a real parent would. I am living in one of my dad's houses in LA so I don't have to rely on the Council for anything anymore. They took my Watcher away from me and left me alone." She began to sob softly.
Cordelia rushed forward to her and pulled her over to the client sofas that were in the main reception area. "Here, sit down. I'll go get you a towel. You must be freezing, sorry you don't feel the cold as much do you, what with Slayer strength and all."
"I don't have full use of my powers yet. They come into play when one of the Slayers dies. So your Wesley. I know of you and Giles as well. You sent quite a stir through the Council halls especially since you started working for Angelus. That would mean Angel is Angelus." The news didn't come as a shock to her at first, she began to think twice about what the demon had said but it passed as quickly as it came. "So you know both of the Slayers. I hope I'll be a good replacement for The Chosen One on the Hellmouth. So when do we begin?"
Angel bent down in front of the girl but quickly stood up again when he felt a pain in his chest and an urge to run away. Gypsy noticed straight away and quickly realised what it was. She pulled a purple ribbon out from beneath her top to reveal a small silver and pearl cross.
"I'm sorry, sometimes I forget I'm wearing it. It was my mothers. She gave me it to protect me and the pearls on it symbolise the light and the fight for good. You see my father was a Watcher but retired when he met my mother. When a strange man came knocking on the door one day my father was horrified. He knew the man standing there, he later became my Watcher. My mother knew who my father was and my father knew what a short and difficult life a Slayer can lead. In the end they left it up to me. I was sent away to a Councils school in England, in Surrey somewhere. It was this great big Victorian house. I wasn't alone. You see in the 16 years between generations up to 16 Slayers can die so more are needed for replacement. When Faith went all mad they pulled me out of school and sent me here, well into the Rockies to learn my skills in isolation, to be called when the Council caught up with Faith. But I guess they never did. But now the time is near when I will be called so you have to prepare me for it."
Cordelia handed Gypsy a fresh towel and she began to dry herself off. Angel now sat on a sofa across the room thinking. If Gypsy was the next Slayer and the next Slayer was soon to be called then that meant either Buffy or Faith was going to die, soon! He wasn't ready to lose either of them, not yet.
Cordelia padded over to the brooding Vampire knowing exactly what he was thinking. She was thinking the same but for the different reasons. If Faith died them Cordelia would never get a chance to face her and tell how she forgave her for what she did. If Buffy died Angel would fall to pieces and she would lose her family, her big brother and best friend all in one go.
"Hey you, you brooding again? I know what your thinking, I'm thinking it too, so is Wesley I bet. You knew this was gonna happen, the Slayers death I mean not Gypsy, and I though we had agreed to deal."
"I know but now it becomes that little more real. I don't know what to do." Angel placed his head into his hands.
"You will train this Slayer to be as good as Buffy was, is, 'Cos if you don't she is gonna be called anyway and then she'll die, without cause. Could you live with that as well?"
"I don't want Buffy to die, Cordelia. How can I train her replacement if I don't want her predecessor to die? I can't do it."
"You can do it. What are you a Vampire or a human? You and me, we'll do it together. That's what family are for." Cordelia got up and walked over to where Gypsy was standing. "He says he'll do it. If you give me your bags we'll find you a room that is actually liveable in this place." Cordelia took Gypsys bag and lead her down the long corridor and opened a door to a room next door to Angels. They both walked into the room, the dressers decorated with little pots and the mirror brightly lit up.
"Does someone else stay in here?" Gypsy asked seeing the crumpled bed.
"Yeah I do sometimes when we are on a late, late shift. I goes with the job. It's OK I can find somewhere else to sleep plus I have my own apartment with it's own built in ghost."
Cordelia went back down stairs to find Wesley and Angel poured over the scrolls. Gypsy was now up stairs sleeping but adamant she was going back to her apartment the next day. Angel and Wesley seemed deep in concentration about the scrolls and something right in the middle of them. Cordelia watched Angel closely. It was easier to tell his mood if you watched him instead of waiting for him to tell you, which was highly unlikely. He sat hovering over the desk, his brow furrow showing his was deep in concentration. But his hand was playing with the little silver ring that graced his middle finger and had done for about five
years now. That meant he was thinking about Buffy.
Cordelia had grown used to the fact that she could never replace Buffy or her love and after their brief affair Cordelia realised just how deep that love ran. Angels love for Buffy hadn't split them up but Cordelia couldn't take being second best and Angel couldn't take the closeness that they now had. They shared a bed and a job, it was too much for him. The reason their relationship as far as their friendship went was because they could share the stuff that was important to them and then go home to their separate apartments and mull over it separately. They were like brother and sister, best friends in every way, but
Cordelia was scared that if it ended she would lose Angel and the people that she relied on. When they did part, they were closer than before they started going out. Even now Wesley often found Cordelia lying, fully clothed, in bed with Angel. He marvelled at their self-control over the issue of Angels soul. In the 6 months that they had been together, Angel stayed Angel and he was very proud of them.
It hurt Cordelia that he was thinking about Buffy but since Gypsy was going to replace either Buffy or Faith she understood fully how he felt. She walked in with coffee, blood and tea in her hands.
"Hey guys, I bring relief." She placed the relevant mugs in front of their owners and looked up in time to see a small smile from Angel, a smile that melted her heart. "So what does the all-knowing scrolls say about this one?"
"It's true, Angel has to train her. Gypsy is very special but I can't seem to figure out why. It keeps on mentioning the 'Final Conqueror.' I really am stuck. Maybe it would best to phone Giles over this one."
"He might tell Buffy and she has a lot on her plate right now with preparing to graduate and looking after Dawn on her own. I don't think it would be wise."
"I understand about the graduation thing, I was there for the last one she went to, all Hell let lose, much. But Buffy is a big girl and she knows that she is going to die sometime. Oh that was the tact-less me wasn't it?" Cordelia added.
"Angel why don't I just go to Sunnydale and speak to Giles and you get Buffy to come here that way she'll never know I've been there. You just tell her I'm in London."
"Oh I never said anything about Buffy coming here, just her not knowing. Please don't let her come." Cordelia wined at the thought of Buffy coming and sitting staring at her Angel. "I'll only have to pick up the pieces again when she's gone and you start brooding."
Angel felt the anger build up in him. "This isn't about you Cordelia." He shouted.
Cordelia walked away, the tears threatening to fall. "It never is." She muttered walking toward the hotel entrance. She felt Angel grab her arm.
He spun her around to face her. "What is that meant to mean?"
"Your a big vampire, you figure it out." The tears started to fall freely from her eyes.
Wesley slipped by the arguing pair to get away. "I think I'll just go and phone Giles."
"Cordelia what did you mean, 'It never is?'" Angel asked her, a little calmer.
"Angel do you know what it's like to be in a three person relationship? 'Cos that's what it felt like when I was with you. I was always thinking was it Buffy you wanted to be with?" Cordelia spat the other Slayers name. "I spent 6 whole months wondering if it was really me you want to be with and not back in Sunnydale with Little-Miss-Likes-To-Fight. Or when you kissed me was it really me you were kissing?"
"Cordelia how could you ask me such a thing. I loved you with all my heart and I gave you what I could safely give you. If I wanted to be with Buffy, I would have been with Buffy."
"When I first showed up you wanted to be with Buffy but you weren't, what would make now any different? I mean was i your second best?" She wiped her hand across her cheek trying to wipe the pain away.
"Cordelia where has this come from?" Angel asked as he ran his hand through his gelled hair.
"This has come from all those talks that we never had, all the feelings that were never said. I was willing to play second fiddle but in the end I couldn't take it. Call me selfish but I think that I should get priority in a relationship." She saw Angels pain and her voice softened. "I decided to call it quits because I wasn't sure that if we bound your soul you wouldn't go running to Buffy at the drop of a hat."
"I never knew, you never told me. You should have told me."
"See you won't even deny it. Angel, boss, I'm taking the next few day, or how ever long Buffy decides to stay, off." Cordelia reached down and scribbled her number and address on a piece of paper. "I'm just going to say goodbye to Gypsy then I'm off. I'll phone with visions...yada yada yada."
Cordelia went up the stairs to her old room and gently shock Gypsy awake.
"Gypsy honey wake up. I'm going home now but my number and my address are on your table if you feel like a girlie chat 'Cos trust me Angel isn't the type of guy to talk about that kinda stuff."
Two Nights Later
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Cordelia sat on her big comfy sofa, a tub of melted of strawberry ice-cream and 'Titanic' playing on the TV screen for the second night in a row. She was in tears again but this time it was over the film.
'Why should I cry over him? I don't love him anymore, I shouldn't cry over him.' Cordelia thought to herself. She fluffed the comforter as a tissue came floating over to her.
A knock at the door disturbed her from her self pity as Jack slowly drifted down below the waves. Cordelia pulled herself out of the comforter and answered the door. She found Gypsy staring back at her.
"Gypsy, what you doing here? Oh come in." Cordelia hurried the girl inside.
"You haven't been in for a few days, well since the day before yesterday and I was worried. You said to come around if I wanted to talk. Are you busy?"
"No just me, the ghost, Leonardo Di Caprio, and a big tube of strawberry ice-cream. What do you want to talk about?"
"Nothing really, I just have to get of the hotel. Buffy, the Slayer is there and she is doing my head in. All she ever does id pout when she doesn't get her own way. She always follows us out whenever we go out on a mission. It's not good. I think she likes him or something."
"Haven't you heard? They're the forbidden lovers. If Angel and Buffy get together and they sleep together, Angelus is released and lots of people die, not to mention exposed to sarcastic wit and a very bobbley face. When Angel lost his soul, Buffy sent him to hell with a soul. See they really cause each other misery."
"Buffy keeps slagging you off though. She says that your attention seeking over this whole vision thing and that Angel should see about replacing you."
"Angel can't get me replaced, we've tried that but I wanted to stay a seer. What else has she been saying? I bet she dragged Riley into this as well, just to hurt Angel."
"Riley left, flew away on a helicopter because of Angel. Angel keeps standing up for you, he calls you Cora. Were you and Angel ever a couple?"
"Yeah we 'dated'" Cordelia inverted her two fingers in the air. "Angel doesn't date very well. We were together for about 6 months then last month I ended it because of Buffy and because I was scared to lose him if it got any more serious."
"Bit I thought if people sleep with Angel he turns into Angelus and kills people." Gypsy spealed back to Cordelia.
"It takes on moment of pure happiness to turn him grrr. I don't think that I would be special enough to take over Buffys place in his life plus we never slept together, too much of a risk. Buffy never really liked me in Sunnydale and she hates me more now that I am in LA, 24/7 with Angel."
"She sounds like she can be a bit of a bitch to people." Gypsy sat down on the comforter beside Cordelia and dove into the ice cream.
"She can be OK, I mean she was always saving my life and saving Sunnydales butt everytime a big ugly rose. I guess she has a right to be bitchy, she lives 'till she is 25 and it seems every guy she sleeps with turns evil in one way or another. Bad luck much."
"Cordelia can I ask you something?" Gypsy asked hesitantly.
"Yeah sure as long as it doesn't involve sex, demon babies, or demons. I'm not very good with the icky factor."
"No I know all that stuff." Cordelia looked at Gypsy in shock. "I wanted to ask why Angel didn't like my name. When I told him my name he shied away and he asked to call me something different."
"Angel was Angelus about 150 years ago and when he 'ate' a gypsy he was cursed into Angel. The gypsies are the ones who gave him the happiness clause. Don't take offence to it. I'm sure he likes you."
"I better go. Angel thinks that I was going to the store. He is very protective of me since Wesley can't work out who the 'Final Conqueror' is."
Gypsy left Cordelia just as the final credits to the film stopped playing. Cordelia was in tears once again.
Having made it from her audition to the hotel in once piece under the cover of darkness, Cordelia walked slowly into the hotel reception. It had been 2 days since she had last walked out those doors, unable to take an argument with Angel, but with the vision and the pain of being on her own she had come back, her head held high. She spotted Gypsy sitting on the desk, her legs swinging under her.
"Hey Cordy your back. Where you been? You've got to get me out of here. Angel won't let me out and insists on walking back me back to my apartment. He's got a really maternal streak through him." Gypsy moaned.
"Yeah sure, we'll go and grab a coffee, or in your case, tea. Where is brood features?" Cordelia asked now sauntering towards Angels office.
"Oh he isn't there, He's down in the weapons room sparring with Buffy. I'm not allowed to 'Cos she might figure out who I am."
Cordelia walked down the spiral stair case towards the weapons room. As she neared the bottom of the staircase she would hear the grunts and groans from both Angel and Buffy as the ploughed blows into each other. Angel stopped as Cordelia graced the room.
"Cordelia, your back. I thought you would be taking a few days out." Angel said wiping the sweat away with a fluffy towel.
"Yeah Cordelia, I thought you would be staying a while in New York while your cousins sick." Buffy chimed in.
Cordelia looked at the Slayer confused then clicked on. "Angel why didn't you just tell Buffy that I stormed out in a huff. Let them all think back in Sunnydale that I am the same spoilt bitchy cheerleader they knew? I mean that's what they think anyway."
"'Cos it's not true. Did you have a vision?"
"Could we talk?" Cordelia threw a look over at the small blonde. "In private!" Cordelia spat out.
"OK. I'll go to my room. Is the shower in your room working fine now?" A nod from the Vampire sent Buffy away.
Cordelia paced around the room with the Vampire in the middle following her moves.
"So she's staying here? Why did I doubt it? I mean why should she stay with her father when her lover has a whole hotel." She saw Angel try and answer. "Save it. I had a vision, a chaos demon in the park, tomorrow, save a little girl and her mother. Another thing before I take Gypsy out for coffee. You know how Wesley couldn't figure out what the 'Final Conqueror' is?" The Vampire simply nodded knowing better than to interrupt. "Well it is the Last Slayer. The Conqueror is the Slayer because she is the conqueror over the demon world and Final means that she's the last one ever."
Cordelia looked deep into Angels chocolate eyes and felt her heart snap. For a month she had covered the pain so well but the cracks were starting to show, like the argument the days before. She couldn't take being that close to him anymore.
"Angel, I got the audition today for a TV show. It's a national so I will be doing this think full-time." She lied blinking back the tears. "If I still get the visions I'll let you or Wesley know. I won't deny you your second chance. I love you that much for that."
Angel was left with a memory of Cordelia flicking her long brown hair over her face and walking back up the cold, iron, spiral staircase.
A Few Months Later:
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There she was, he had found her again. He walked as her thin figure sauntered down the hospital stairs. He had been stalking her ever since she had walked out of the weapons room, taking his heart with her. Buffy had come and gone, Gypsy was turning into a well trained and independent Slayer-To-Be. He smiled proudly to himself. He turned his attention back to the hospital entrance but she was gone. 'Damn' he swore to himself. He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Angel did your mother never tell you, it is rude to swear. Now why have you been stalking me every night for 3 months?" Cordelia spun Angel around to face her.
Angels emotions betrayed on his face as he stumbled on his words. "Cordelia...what are...what are you doing here?"
"That was my question Angel. I know you've been have been following me around. You did this with Buffy but I don't need it."
"I just wanted to see you. Come back to the hotel, Gypsy would love to see you again. I know she's been coming to visit you every weekend, where else does she get all the shopping bags every Saturday?"
"OK a short trip to the hotel. Catch up with Wesley and Gypsy, oh and Gunn if he's there."
Cordelia and Angel made the short and silent journey back to the Hotel. Wesley quickly stood up and greeted the seer in a warm and welcoming hugs. Gypsy ventured up the iron staircase from the weapons room with boxing gloves covering her hands. Cordelia moved warmly towards the girl and drew her into a tight embrace. Once all the hellos were over with Angel took Cordelia into his office and she gently sat down in his comfy recliner.
"Cordelia, why did you leave. I thought we were family, family don't up and leave when the going gets tough." Angel started.
"You've been reading self-help books again. Angel I left because it hurt too much being here, with you, every night. I wanted you back and I couldn't have you. Your heart belongs to Buffy and there wasn't anything I could do to stop you."
"Part of my heart will always belong to Buffy, you know that but I loved you, I wanted you not her. I always wanted you, even 3 months ago when you walked out without me trying to explain that I wanted you back. I told Buffy about us and she was happy enough once she saw through her own selfishness. Cordelia, I'm asking you to come back to me. Will you?" Angel asked hopefully.
"Angel I had no idea..." She trailed off. "Of course I will as long as you promise not to keep anything from me this time. You've got to tell me what is up with you when you brood or I'll think it's Buffy like before."
Angel drew Cordelia into a captivating embrace and kissed her passionately. The two stayed in the kiss for a few seconds as Angel let Cordelia go to breathe. "Stay with me?" He whispered.
"I can't, I have an audition in the morning and I have a puppy to feed as well." She noticed Angels unamused look on his face. "Well I had to get something to replace you." She grabbed at his wrist and looked at his watch. " God I have to go and catch my bus."
"I would give you a lift but Gunn has the car to go look for some of his crew that went missing about two days ago. All the vans are out of action."
"It's no problem. Care to walk me out. It is night after all." Cordelia linked her arm in his and they walked through the hotel together again.
Cordelia saw the bus pulling up to the stop outside the hotel and quickly kissed Angel on the cheek and whispered Goodbye in his ear. The next few moments happened in slow motion.
Cordelia ran across the road as the bus door opened. A driver was coming up the other way, listening to Bon Jovi full blast through his car radio. He reached down to change the tape. He didn't even see her until her heard her body clunk across his car.
Angel watched, helplessly as the car headed straight towards her. He tried to shout out and reach out for her but he found his feet rooted to the floor. He watched as she seen the car, but like a deer in the headlights she was stunned and couldn't move. The crunch as her body hit the bonnet of the car then as she rolled off the side onto the cold, hard tarmac deafened Angel. His feet freed themselves as he ran to her side beside the skid marks where the driver had stopped then drove away. He gathered up her bruised form in his arms and listened. He could hear her heart beat slowly quietened to a faint muffle. He held her in his arms as her life slowly faded away. She looked up at him and he could do little but watch the light he loved about her slowly die, unkindered and unkept. He lowered his head to hear her faint whisper of her final words.
"Your not alone if you let people in and love you. You have too much to give, to lose it all." She cupped his face in her hand and wiped away a lone tear. "I love you." She whispered as her heartbeat stopped and her fire was finally extinguished.
Angel looked up to the sky as the raindrops burned his skin and cried out. The pain and the anger in his horse voice echoed around him and the people who had gathered to watch the pitiful sight. Wesley and Gypsy could do little but watched as Angel rocked her body against his frame willing her to open her eyes but she didn't. She was gone.
I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
Full Of Grace by Sarah Mclachlan
Copywrite to Zoe Morrison 2001
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Tell me what you think because I think it sucked majorily but it kinda hit a cord in my heart as to I'll Never Understand - why the people we love and hold dear die when things are just starting out. Let me know if that invoked the same reaction in you or what kind of reaction it invokes at all.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, I only like to play with them and they all belong to Joss and David's imagination, oh yeah and the people they belong to!
Summary: The scrolls bring up a surprise for Angel and leads to friction between the group. In the end only sadness can bring peace of mind.
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I Never Understood:
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She walked through the streets of LA, not knowing where she was going but she knew that she had to get there by sun down. She didn't have anymore strength to kill, she had been killing and preparing to kill since she was 10 and now she was tired. She stopped outside of a run-down building that once must have been a grand hotel and the feeling became stronger. She was here. She slowly walked up the stone stairs, drenched to the skin in the rain that had been falling since the morning and was still falling now. Her leather backpack that contained everything she had clung and stung her skin but she didn't feel it anymore. The heavy door opened easily under her hand, she looked up to be confronted by a tall brunette.
"Hello, welcome to Angel Investigations. How may we help you." The brunette asked.
Angel Investigations? I think I have the wrong address. In fact I don't even know the address where I'm meant to be going." A drip of water ran down the bridge of her nose. "Um...can I maybe come in and wait until the rain stops please."
The brunette smiled down at the young teenager in front of her. "You're gonna think I'm strange but your not a Vampire are you?"
The girl let out a small laugh. "No, trust me I'm not a Vampire." A twang of Scottish showing out between her English accent.
"How do I know?"
"Watch me." The red head walked in straight past the woman and into the main entrance.
She looked up at the magnificent height of the hotel entrance. A huge crystal chandelier covered in spiders webs. Her eyes were drawn to a tall thin man walking out of a side room carrying a large old book.
"Hi Wesley this is...Sorry what is your name?"
"My name is Gypsy but people call me Gyps. Wesley? Your English. Where about's? I'm from Newcastle but I have an army accent."
"I'm from..."
Wesley was interrupted by a growling coming from the main staircase. "What is all the noise about down here? I am trying to sleep."
The red headed girl whipped around to the voice that had growled from the stairs. Her body tensed up and her senses were on alert. Something wasn't right. She reached inside her denim jacket and pulled out a short pointed stick.
"Wesley and...What ever your name is, get back. He's the Vampire not me."
Cordelia saw the stake raise by the teenage, she sprinted in front of her boss.
"Angel isn't any Vampire, you stupid girl. He's my boss and he's got a soul. Hold on how did you know he's Vampire? Are you from Wolfram and Hart?" Cordelia ranted.
"Wolfram and who? No, if your Angel then I have found who I am looking for." She noted the confused faces and understood they hadn't heard. "Let me explain. My name is Gypsy, and I have been looking for you for months. I'm a Slayer-in-training, and you've to become my new trainer."
She stood silently in the foyer letting the news sink in. She remember when she had been told. She had watched the Watchers Council truck drive away, her Watcher inside it. A strange demon had come and told her that she was to keep up the fight and look for the White Warrior. The White Warrior would help to show her the true path until she was called. When she had turned back around he was gone. Then she had felt drawn to Sunnydale then LA, she just followed her natural instincts. They led her here, to a souled Vampire, she never knew one existed.
"So let me get this, your a Slayer? You look nothing like Buffy, well your as small as she is but your not blonde. Mind you neither was Kendra or Faith." Cordelia shivered at the name. "I'm Cordeila by the way, his seer. This is Wesley, he was Faith and Buffys Watcher until the Council kicked him out."
"Thank-you Cordelia but she'll know who I am, at least my name. So you don't have a Watcher already. That's strange. After Faith and Buffy the council made sure that every Slayer-in-training was given a Watcher from the age of 10 so that they would know what to expect so another Faith incident wouldn't happen."
"I had a Watcher but he's...um...gone now. The Council took him back to England. I haven't seen his since. Then this weird smelly demon came up to and told me to find the White Warrior named Angel, you. He said you would show me the true path and help me."
Angel descended the rest of the stair and looked at the 5ft 5" teenager in front of him. He could here her heart beat accelerate and he could smell the fear radiating from her.
"It's OK. Don't worry I won't bite." He hope to see a cracked smile but instead she gripped the stake at her side harder in her hand. "So I've to train you, what did you say your name was again?"
"My name is Gypsy. I don't understand how a Vampire could work for the PTB. I mean I am trained to kill your kind and the smelly guys as well. Why are all these strange demons trying to help me?"
"I don't like the name Gypsy, have you got a nickname?" Angel asked, uncomfortable at the pasts reminder.
"My dad used to call my Gyps." Gypsy drifted off into a happy world where she could see herself playing with her dad in the river near their house in Scotland.
"Where are your parents now Gypsy?" Wesley asked, the text now lying on the reception desk. "Are they living in LA?"
"Both my parents died in a plane crash. I was found two days after the plane went down in the Caribbean. This was about 6 months after I turned ten and got my first Watcher. He sort of took me in and tried to be a parent and Watcher to me but we always ended up arguing all the time 'Cos I wanted a life and he didn't think that I would benefit from one. Just like a real parent would. I am living in one of my dad's houses in LA so I don't have to rely on the Council for anything anymore. They took my Watcher away from me and left me alone." She began to sob softly.
Cordelia rushed forward to her and pulled her over to the client sofas that were in the main reception area. "Here, sit down. I'll go get you a towel. You must be freezing, sorry you don't feel the cold as much do you, what with Slayer strength and all."
"I don't have full use of my powers yet. They come into play when one of the Slayers dies. So your Wesley. I know of you and Giles as well. You sent quite a stir through the Council halls especially since you started working for Angelus. That would mean Angel is Angelus." The news didn't come as a shock to her at first, she began to think twice about what the demon had said but it passed as quickly as it came. "So you know both of the Slayers. I hope I'll be a good replacement for The Chosen One on the Hellmouth. So when do we begin?"
Angel bent down in front of the girl but quickly stood up again when he felt a pain in his chest and an urge to run away. Gypsy noticed straight away and quickly realised what it was. She pulled a purple ribbon out from beneath her top to reveal a small silver and pearl cross.
"I'm sorry, sometimes I forget I'm wearing it. It was my mothers. She gave me it to protect me and the pearls on it symbolise the light and the fight for good. You see my father was a Watcher but retired when he met my mother. When a strange man came knocking on the door one day my father was horrified. He knew the man standing there, he later became my Watcher. My mother knew who my father was and my father knew what a short and difficult life a Slayer can lead. In the end they left it up to me. I was sent away to a Councils school in England, in Surrey somewhere. It was this great big Victorian house. I wasn't alone. You see in the 16 years between generations up to 16 Slayers can die so more are needed for replacement. When Faith went all mad they pulled me out of school and sent me here, well into the Rockies to learn my skills in isolation, to be called when the Council caught up with Faith. But I guess they never did. But now the time is near when I will be called so you have to prepare me for it."
Cordelia handed Gypsy a fresh towel and she began to dry herself off. Angel now sat on a sofa across the room thinking. If Gypsy was the next Slayer and the next Slayer was soon to be called then that meant either Buffy or Faith was going to die, soon! He wasn't ready to lose either of them, not yet.
Cordelia padded over to the brooding Vampire knowing exactly what he was thinking. She was thinking the same but for the different reasons. If Faith died them Cordelia would never get a chance to face her and tell how she forgave her for what she did. If Buffy died Angel would fall to pieces and she would lose her family, her big brother and best friend all in one go.
"Hey you, you brooding again? I know what your thinking, I'm thinking it too, so is Wesley I bet. You knew this was gonna happen, the Slayers death I mean not Gypsy, and I though we had agreed to deal."
"I know but now it becomes that little more real. I don't know what to do." Angel placed his head into his hands.
"You will train this Slayer to be as good as Buffy was, is, 'Cos if you don't she is gonna be called anyway and then she'll die, without cause. Could you live with that as well?"
"I don't want Buffy to die, Cordelia. How can I train her replacement if I don't want her predecessor to die? I can't do it."
"You can do it. What are you a Vampire or a human? You and me, we'll do it together. That's what family are for." Cordelia got up and walked over to where Gypsy was standing. "He says he'll do it. If you give me your bags we'll find you a room that is actually liveable in this place." Cordelia took Gypsys bag and lead her down the long corridor and opened a door to a room next door to Angels. They both walked into the room, the dressers decorated with little pots and the mirror brightly lit up.
"Does someone else stay in here?" Gypsy asked seeing the crumpled bed.
"Yeah I do sometimes when we are on a late, late shift. I goes with the job. It's OK I can find somewhere else to sleep plus I have my own apartment with it's own built in ghost."
Cordelia went back down stairs to find Wesley and Angel poured over the scrolls. Gypsy was now up stairs sleeping but adamant she was going back to her apartment the next day. Angel and Wesley seemed deep in concentration about the scrolls and something right in the middle of them. Cordelia watched Angel closely. It was easier to tell his mood if you watched him instead of waiting for him to tell you, which was highly unlikely. He sat hovering over the desk, his brow furrow showing his was deep in concentration. But his hand was playing with the little silver ring that graced his middle finger and had done for about five
years now. That meant he was thinking about Buffy.
Cordelia had grown used to the fact that she could never replace Buffy or her love and after their brief affair Cordelia realised just how deep that love ran. Angels love for Buffy hadn't split them up but Cordelia couldn't take being second best and Angel couldn't take the closeness that they now had. They shared a bed and a job, it was too much for him. The reason their relationship as far as their friendship went was because they could share the stuff that was important to them and then go home to their separate apartments and mull over it separately. They were like brother and sister, best friends in every way, but
Cordelia was scared that if it ended she would lose Angel and the people that she relied on. When they did part, they were closer than before they started going out. Even now Wesley often found Cordelia lying, fully clothed, in bed with Angel. He marvelled at their self-control over the issue of Angels soul. In the 6 months that they had been together, Angel stayed Angel and he was very proud of them.
It hurt Cordelia that he was thinking about Buffy but since Gypsy was going to replace either Buffy or Faith she understood fully how he felt. She walked in with coffee, blood and tea in her hands.
"Hey guys, I bring relief." She placed the relevant mugs in front of their owners and looked up in time to see a small smile from Angel, a smile that melted her heart. "So what does the all-knowing scrolls say about this one?"
"It's true, Angel has to train her. Gypsy is very special but I can't seem to figure out why. It keeps on mentioning the 'Final Conqueror.' I really am stuck. Maybe it would best to phone Giles over this one."
"He might tell Buffy and she has a lot on her plate right now with preparing to graduate and looking after Dawn on her own. I don't think it would be wise."
"I understand about the graduation thing, I was there for the last one she went to, all Hell let lose, much. But Buffy is a big girl and she knows that she is going to die sometime. Oh that was the tact-less me wasn't it?" Cordelia added.
"Angel why don't I just go to Sunnydale and speak to Giles and you get Buffy to come here that way she'll never know I've been there. You just tell her I'm in London."
"Oh I never said anything about Buffy coming here, just her not knowing. Please don't let her come." Cordelia wined at the thought of Buffy coming and sitting staring at her Angel. "I'll only have to pick up the pieces again when she's gone and you start brooding."
Angel felt the anger build up in him. "This isn't about you Cordelia." He shouted.
Cordelia walked away, the tears threatening to fall. "It never is." She muttered walking toward the hotel entrance. She felt Angel grab her arm.
He spun her around to face her. "What is that meant to mean?"
"Your a big vampire, you figure it out." The tears started to fall freely from her eyes.
Wesley slipped by the arguing pair to get away. "I think I'll just go and phone Giles."
"Cordelia what did you mean, 'It never is?'" Angel asked her, a little calmer.
"Angel do you know what it's like to be in a three person relationship? 'Cos that's what it felt like when I was with you. I was always thinking was it Buffy you wanted to be with?" Cordelia spat the other Slayers name. "I spent 6 whole months wondering if it was really me you want to be with and not back in Sunnydale with Little-Miss-Likes-To-Fight. Or when you kissed me was it really me you were kissing?"
"Cordelia how could you ask me such a thing. I loved you with all my heart and I gave you what I could safely give you. If I wanted to be with Buffy, I would have been with Buffy."
"When I first showed up you wanted to be with Buffy but you weren't, what would make now any different? I mean was i your second best?" She wiped her hand across her cheek trying to wipe the pain away.
"Cordelia where has this come from?" Angel asked as he ran his hand through his gelled hair.
"This has come from all those talks that we never had, all the feelings that were never said. I was willing to play second fiddle but in the end I couldn't take it. Call me selfish but I think that I should get priority in a relationship." She saw Angels pain and her voice softened. "I decided to call it quits because I wasn't sure that if we bound your soul you wouldn't go running to Buffy at the drop of a hat."
"I never knew, you never told me. You should have told me."
"See you won't even deny it. Angel, boss, I'm taking the next few day, or how ever long Buffy decides to stay, off." Cordelia reached down and scribbled her number and address on a piece of paper. "I'm just going to say goodbye to Gypsy then I'm off. I'll phone with visions...yada yada yada."
Cordelia went up the stairs to her old room and gently shock Gypsy awake.
"Gypsy honey wake up. I'm going home now but my number and my address are on your table if you feel like a girlie chat 'Cos trust me Angel isn't the type of guy to talk about that kinda stuff."
Two Nights Later
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Cordelia sat on her big comfy sofa, a tub of melted of strawberry ice-cream and 'Titanic' playing on the TV screen for the second night in a row. She was in tears again but this time it was over the film.
'Why should I cry over him? I don't love him anymore, I shouldn't cry over him.' Cordelia thought to herself. She fluffed the comforter as a tissue came floating over to her.
A knock at the door disturbed her from her self pity as Jack slowly drifted down below the waves. Cordelia pulled herself out of the comforter and answered the door. She found Gypsy staring back at her.
"Gypsy, what you doing here? Oh come in." Cordelia hurried the girl inside.
"You haven't been in for a few days, well since the day before yesterday and I was worried. You said to come around if I wanted to talk. Are you busy?"
"No just me, the ghost, Leonardo Di Caprio, and a big tube of strawberry ice-cream. What do you want to talk about?"
"Nothing really, I just have to get of the hotel. Buffy, the Slayer is there and she is doing my head in. All she ever does id pout when she doesn't get her own way. She always follows us out whenever we go out on a mission. It's not good. I think she likes him or something."
"Haven't you heard? They're the forbidden lovers. If Angel and Buffy get together and they sleep together, Angelus is released and lots of people die, not to mention exposed to sarcastic wit and a very bobbley face. When Angel lost his soul, Buffy sent him to hell with a soul. See they really cause each other misery."
"Buffy keeps slagging you off though. She says that your attention seeking over this whole vision thing and that Angel should see about replacing you."
"Angel can't get me replaced, we've tried that but I wanted to stay a seer. What else has she been saying? I bet she dragged Riley into this as well, just to hurt Angel."
"Riley left, flew away on a helicopter because of Angel. Angel keeps standing up for you, he calls you Cora. Were you and Angel ever a couple?"
"Yeah we 'dated'" Cordelia inverted her two fingers in the air. "Angel doesn't date very well. We were together for about 6 months then last month I ended it because of Buffy and because I was scared to lose him if it got any more serious."
"Bit I thought if people sleep with Angel he turns into Angelus and kills people." Gypsy spealed back to Cordelia.
"It takes on moment of pure happiness to turn him grrr. I don't think that I would be special enough to take over Buffys place in his life plus we never slept together, too much of a risk. Buffy never really liked me in Sunnydale and she hates me more now that I am in LA, 24/7 with Angel."
"She sounds like she can be a bit of a bitch to people." Gypsy sat down on the comforter beside Cordelia and dove into the ice cream.
"She can be OK, I mean she was always saving my life and saving Sunnydales butt everytime a big ugly rose. I guess she has a right to be bitchy, she lives 'till she is 25 and it seems every guy she sleeps with turns evil in one way or another. Bad luck much."
"Cordelia can I ask you something?" Gypsy asked hesitantly.
"Yeah sure as long as it doesn't involve sex, demon babies, or demons. I'm not very good with the icky factor."
"No I know all that stuff." Cordelia looked at Gypsy in shock. "I wanted to ask why Angel didn't like my name. When I told him my name he shied away and he asked to call me something different."
"Angel was Angelus about 150 years ago and when he 'ate' a gypsy he was cursed into Angel. The gypsies are the ones who gave him the happiness clause. Don't take offence to it. I'm sure he likes you."
"I better go. Angel thinks that I was going to the store. He is very protective of me since Wesley can't work out who the 'Final Conqueror' is."
Gypsy left Cordelia just as the final credits to the film stopped playing. Cordelia was in tears once again.
Having made it from her audition to the hotel in once piece under the cover of darkness, Cordelia walked slowly into the hotel reception. It had been 2 days since she had last walked out those doors, unable to take an argument with Angel, but with the vision and the pain of being on her own she had come back, her head held high. She spotted Gypsy sitting on the desk, her legs swinging under her.
"Hey Cordy your back. Where you been? You've got to get me out of here. Angel won't let me out and insists on walking back me back to my apartment. He's got a really maternal streak through him." Gypsy moaned.
"Yeah sure, we'll go and grab a coffee, or in your case, tea. Where is brood features?" Cordelia asked now sauntering towards Angels office.
"Oh he isn't there, He's down in the weapons room sparring with Buffy. I'm not allowed to 'Cos she might figure out who I am."
Cordelia walked down the spiral stair case towards the weapons room. As she neared the bottom of the staircase she would hear the grunts and groans from both Angel and Buffy as the ploughed blows into each other. Angel stopped as Cordelia graced the room.
"Cordelia, your back. I thought you would be taking a few days out." Angel said wiping the sweat away with a fluffy towel.
"Yeah Cordelia, I thought you would be staying a while in New York while your cousins sick." Buffy chimed in.
Cordelia looked at the Slayer confused then clicked on. "Angel why didn't you just tell Buffy that I stormed out in a huff. Let them all think back in Sunnydale that I am the same spoilt bitchy cheerleader they knew? I mean that's what they think anyway."
"'Cos it's not true. Did you have a vision?"
"Could we talk?" Cordelia threw a look over at the small blonde. "In private!" Cordelia spat out.
"OK. I'll go to my room. Is the shower in your room working fine now?" A nod from the Vampire sent Buffy away.
Cordelia paced around the room with the Vampire in the middle following her moves.
"So she's staying here? Why did I doubt it? I mean why should she stay with her father when her lover has a whole hotel." She saw Angel try and answer. "Save it. I had a vision, a chaos demon in the park, tomorrow, save a little girl and her mother. Another thing before I take Gypsy out for coffee. You know how Wesley couldn't figure out what the 'Final Conqueror' is?" The Vampire simply nodded knowing better than to interrupt. "Well it is the Last Slayer. The Conqueror is the Slayer because she is the conqueror over the demon world and Final means that she's the last one ever."
Cordelia looked deep into Angels chocolate eyes and felt her heart snap. For a month she had covered the pain so well but the cracks were starting to show, like the argument the days before. She couldn't take being that close to him anymore.
"Angel, I got the audition today for a TV show. It's a national so I will be doing this think full-time." She lied blinking back the tears. "If I still get the visions I'll let you or Wesley know. I won't deny you your second chance. I love you that much for that."
Angel was left with a memory of Cordelia flicking her long brown hair over her face and walking back up the cold, iron, spiral staircase.
A Few Months Later:
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There she was, he had found her again. He walked as her thin figure sauntered down the hospital stairs. He had been stalking her ever since she had walked out of the weapons room, taking his heart with her. Buffy had come and gone, Gypsy was turning into a well trained and independent Slayer-To-Be. He smiled proudly to himself. He turned his attention back to the hospital entrance but she was gone. 'Damn' he swore to himself. He felt a hand on his shoulder.
"Angel did your mother never tell you, it is rude to swear. Now why have you been stalking me every night for 3 months?" Cordelia spun Angel around to face her.
Angels emotions betrayed on his face as he stumbled on his words. "Cordelia...what are...what are you doing here?"
"That was my question Angel. I know you've been have been following me around. You did this with Buffy but I don't need it."
"I just wanted to see you. Come back to the hotel, Gypsy would love to see you again. I know she's been coming to visit you every weekend, where else does she get all the shopping bags every Saturday?"
"OK a short trip to the hotel. Catch up with Wesley and Gypsy, oh and Gunn if he's there."
Cordelia and Angel made the short and silent journey back to the Hotel. Wesley quickly stood up and greeted the seer in a warm and welcoming hugs. Gypsy ventured up the iron staircase from the weapons room with boxing gloves covering her hands. Cordelia moved warmly towards the girl and drew her into a tight embrace. Once all the hellos were over with Angel took Cordelia into his office and she gently sat down in his comfy recliner.
"Cordelia, why did you leave. I thought we were family, family don't up and leave when the going gets tough." Angel started.
"You've been reading self-help books again. Angel I left because it hurt too much being here, with you, every night. I wanted you back and I couldn't have you. Your heart belongs to Buffy and there wasn't anything I could do to stop you."
"Part of my heart will always belong to Buffy, you know that but I loved you, I wanted you not her. I always wanted you, even 3 months ago when you walked out without me trying to explain that I wanted you back. I told Buffy about us and she was happy enough once she saw through her own selfishness. Cordelia, I'm asking you to come back to me. Will you?" Angel asked hopefully.
"Angel I had no idea..." She trailed off. "Of course I will as long as you promise not to keep anything from me this time. You've got to tell me what is up with you when you brood or I'll think it's Buffy like before."
Angel drew Cordelia into a captivating embrace and kissed her passionately. The two stayed in the kiss for a few seconds as Angel let Cordelia go to breathe. "Stay with me?" He whispered.
"I can't, I have an audition in the morning and I have a puppy to feed as well." She noticed Angels unamused look on his face. "Well I had to get something to replace you." She grabbed at his wrist and looked at his watch. " God I have to go and catch my bus."
"I would give you a lift but Gunn has the car to go look for some of his crew that went missing about two days ago. All the vans are out of action."
"It's no problem. Care to walk me out. It is night after all." Cordelia linked her arm in his and they walked through the hotel together again.
Cordelia saw the bus pulling up to the stop outside the hotel and quickly kissed Angel on the cheek and whispered Goodbye in his ear. The next few moments happened in slow motion.
Cordelia ran across the road as the bus door opened. A driver was coming up the other way, listening to Bon Jovi full blast through his car radio. He reached down to change the tape. He didn't even see her until her heard her body clunk across his car.
Angel watched, helplessly as the car headed straight towards her. He tried to shout out and reach out for her but he found his feet rooted to the floor. He watched as she seen the car, but like a deer in the headlights she was stunned and couldn't move. The crunch as her body hit the bonnet of the car then as she rolled off the side onto the cold, hard tarmac deafened Angel. His feet freed themselves as he ran to her side beside the skid marks where the driver had stopped then drove away. He gathered up her bruised form in his arms and listened. He could hear her heart beat slowly quietened to a faint muffle. He held her in his arms as her life slowly faded away. She looked up at him and he could do little but watch the light he loved about her slowly die, unkindered and unkept. He lowered his head to hear her faint whisper of her final words.
"Your not alone if you let people in and love you. You have too much to give, to lose it all." She cupped his face in her hand and wiped away a lone tear. "I love you." She whispered as her heartbeat stopped and her fire was finally extinguished.
Angel looked up to the sky as the raindrops burned his skin and cried out. The pain and the anger in his horse voice echoed around him and the people who had gathered to watch the pitiful sight. Wesley and Gypsy could do little but watched as Angel rocked her body against his frame willing her to open her eyes but she didn't. She was gone.
I feel just like I'm sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I'm pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
Full Of Grace by Sarah Mclachlan
Copywrite to Zoe Morrison 2001
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Tell me what you think because I think it sucked majorily but it kinda hit a cord in my heart as to I'll Never Understand - why the people we love and hold dear die when things are just starting out. Let me know if that invoked the same reaction in you or what kind of reaction it invokes at all.