Saturday afternoon
Keep on looking through the window again,
But I'm not sorry if I do insult you.
I'm sad, not sorry 'bout the way that things went,
And you'll be happy and I'll be forsakin' thee.
I swore I'd never feel like this again,
But you're so selfish
You don't see you're doing to me.
I keep on looking through the window again.
No, I'm not sorry if I do insult you.
No, I'm not sorry if I do insult you.
You told me lies
And I cried, and I cried, and I cried.
'Cause you lied, lied
And I cried,
Cranberries- Not Sorry
Buffy ran downstairs at the sound of the doorbell. She was surprised
to see a delivery man at her door.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Buffy Summers?" the man asked.
"That would be me," she replied.
"Well, this is for you," he handed her a long, rectangular box. "Sign
here?" he handed her a clipboard. She signed her name, and he left.
"What on earth?" Buffy walked to the den, and opened the box. Inside
was a bouquet of a dozen white roses. "Huh?" she was still
bewildered. She noticed a card with it, and opened it. There were two
words written on it: 'I'm sorry.'
"Xander," she said, and her expression hardened. She closed the box
again, and walked outside with it. She reached his house in five
minutes and knocked on the door. She was glad he answered the door,
she hadn't wanted to have to go to his room.
Before he could say a word, she threw the box at his feet, and spat
out, "Leave. Me. Alone." Then, she turned and walked away, back to
her house. She felt a momentary pang of guilt, but told herself, "I'm
_not_ sorry."
*********
Xander had picked up the bouquet of roses and thrown them in the
trash, then returned to his room. *Can't say I blame her for that
reaction.*
"Xander, Willow's here!" he heard his mother call a few minutes later.
"Yeah, Wills, I'm down here," Xander yelled up the stairs.
"Hey," she smiled at him. "I just ran into Hurricane Buffy. You still
standing?"
"Barely," he shrugged. "She didn't like my apology too much."
"But something tells me you're not going to give up," Willow replied.
"Are you?"
"I've never been one to take a hint," Xander said with a
sigh. "Besides, she's yelling at me, at least she's speaking to me.
It's better than complete silence."
"Did anyone ever tell you you're a glutton for punishment?" Willow
asked, sitting next to him.
"Yeah, a certain red-head I know. What, you think I should give up?"
"No," Willow shook her head. "You two were really close, that's not
something that can be easily thrown away." She looked at her watch,
"Well, Oz, me and Buffy have to meet at Giles'." At Xander's depressed
expression, she said, "Oh, Xander, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to rub
it in--"
"It's okay, Willow," Xander replied with a half-smile. "Just watch out
for Buffy?"
"Of course I will," Willow said, returning the smile. "We _all_ will."
She rose and started back up the stairs, and then turned back, asking,
"Hey, when's Cordelia get back?"
"Next week," Xander answered.
"What are you going to do about that?" Willow wondered.
"What do you mean?" Xander replied. "She's my girlfriend, I imagine
we'll pick up where we left off."
"Oh," Willow said, obviously surprised.
"What?" Xander asked. "Just say it, Wills."
"Well, I thought... your feelings for Buffy--"
"Are beside the point," Xander answered. "She doesn't feel the same
way, and I do like Cordelia. If we can make it work, I don't see why
we shouldn't try."
"I guess," Willow shrugged. "I just want you to be happy, Xander."
"I'll be fine, Willow." At her skeptical look, he repeated, "I'll be
_fine_."
"Okay...see ya later, Xander," Willow said, and she left the house.
*****
Giles' House
Buffy walked over to Giles' house, determined to get the rest of the
gang on the same page as to the events of the night she'd killed
Angel.
"Hey, Giles," she said dully.
Giles took one look at her, and knew something was wrong. "Buffy, come
in," he invited. She noticed that Willow and Oz were already there.
"Hey," she said. She went in and sat on a chair.
Giles took in the dazed look on her face, and sat on the chair next to
her. "Buffy? Are you all right?" he asked. "And where's Xander?" he
added. Giles had gotten used to seeing the young man wherever there
was Buffy.
Buffy glared at him in reply.
"I take it you two had a ... falling out?" Giles asked hesitantly.
"That's a word ... or two... for it," Buffy shrugged. "There's
something I want you, and Oz, to know. I told Xander, and then Willow
found out. So I decided I should tell you too. I've kept things from
all of you for almost two months. I'm tired of secrets. Secrets only
cause pain," she added, looking at Willow sadly.
Willow understood the reference to the absent member of the group, and
said, "You can tell us, Buffy. Well, I guess I already know, but you
know what I mean."
"The night I went to the Mansion to fight Angelus, I had made a deal
with Spike. I know Xander told you that, I told him he could. Anyway,
it made things a little more even for me, to let Spike and Dru leave
town so I could concentrate on Angelus.
I fought him, I was about to slay him. Then, to my surprise, Willow's
spell worked." She looked up to see that Giles was caught by surprise
by that development. She noticed Oz was not showing any reaction, but
then again he wouldn't act surprised if a twenty-armed demon walked
up to them at that moment in time. Willow's expression was
sympathetic, and Buffy felt a pang of sadness. She knew that Willow
felt responsible for the timing of the curse, and wished she could
remove the girl's feelings of guilt.
"It's not your fault, Willow," she said. "You had no way of knowing,
it was just one of those things that fate does to Buffy. I don't
blame you in any way."
"I know you don't," Willow replied. "But that still doesn't mean I
wish I'd done the curse earlier, or--"
"No 'what ifs'," Buffy interrupted. "I'd never be able to keep
breathing if I lived my life that way." She took a deep breath and
continued her story. "He changed back to Angel, and he didn't
remember anything. I didn't have time, though. I couldn't tell him, I
saw that the Acathla demon was awake and ready to suck us all into
hell. So I killed Angel."
She closed her eyes against the pain, and took a shaky breath, willing
herself to stay in control. When she'd gotten a grip on her emotions,
she opened her eyes again, and said, "There. Now you all know what
happened that night. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I just
couldn't. I needed time."
"Buffy, I'm very sorry for all that you have lost," Giles said. "I
understand your unwillingness to talk about it, these past months
can't have been easy for you at all."
"They haven't been, but I can't let you guys keep covering for me,"
Buffy said. "I've depended on you to help me with the Slaying way too
much. It's time I start patrolling on my own."
"Buffy, I really don't think that's a good idea," Willow
protested. "Not now, not after what happened last night."
"I disagree, Willow," Buffy replied. "I'm in the perfect mood to kill
demons. Giles, please give me a chance tonight?"
Giles studied her face, and said, "Very well. But you have to promise
me _not_ to get in over your head. If things get bad, you get to
safety."
"You've got a deal," Buffy said. "Don't worry, guys. I'm going to be
fine." She stood and left then, saying, "I gotta run some errands for
mom before sundown. I'll check in with you after patrol, Giles."
After she'd left, Giles said, "I gather that mentioning Xander isn't a
good idea?"
"They got in a fight," Willow said. "Well, to be more exact, Buffy got
mad, she screamed, he left."
"Do you think she's all right?" Giles asked.
"She's about as ticked as she can get, but maybe that's okay," Willow
said. "At least she'll have an outlet for the anger." She saw the
concerned look on Giles' face, and added, "In my honest opinion, I
think she'll be fine tonight."
"Okay, I trust your opinion," Giles said. "I'm just not sure how much
more turmoil Buffy can take in her life."
"Me either," Willow agreed. "We just have to keep an eye on her, and
take it one day at a time, I guess."
*****
End 20
Keep on looking through the window again,
But I'm not sorry if I do insult you.
I'm sad, not sorry 'bout the way that things went,
And you'll be happy and I'll be forsakin' thee.
I swore I'd never feel like this again,
But you're so selfish
You don't see you're doing to me.
I keep on looking through the window again.
No, I'm not sorry if I do insult you.
No, I'm not sorry if I do insult you.
You told me lies
And I cried, and I cried, and I cried.
'Cause you lied, lied
And I cried,
Cranberries- Not Sorry
Buffy ran downstairs at the sound of the doorbell. She was surprised
to see a delivery man at her door.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Buffy Summers?" the man asked.
"That would be me," she replied.
"Well, this is for you," he handed her a long, rectangular box. "Sign
here?" he handed her a clipboard. She signed her name, and he left.
"What on earth?" Buffy walked to the den, and opened the box. Inside
was a bouquet of a dozen white roses. "Huh?" she was still
bewildered. She noticed a card with it, and opened it. There were two
words written on it: 'I'm sorry.'
"Xander," she said, and her expression hardened. She closed the box
again, and walked outside with it. She reached his house in five
minutes and knocked on the door. She was glad he answered the door,
she hadn't wanted to have to go to his room.
Before he could say a word, she threw the box at his feet, and spat
out, "Leave. Me. Alone." Then, she turned and walked away, back to
her house. She felt a momentary pang of guilt, but told herself, "I'm
_not_ sorry."
*********
Xander had picked up the bouquet of roses and thrown them in the
trash, then returned to his room. *Can't say I blame her for that
reaction.*
"Xander, Willow's here!" he heard his mother call a few minutes later.
"Yeah, Wills, I'm down here," Xander yelled up the stairs.
"Hey," she smiled at him. "I just ran into Hurricane Buffy. You still
standing?"
"Barely," he shrugged. "She didn't like my apology too much."
"But something tells me you're not going to give up," Willow replied.
"Are you?"
"I've never been one to take a hint," Xander said with a
sigh. "Besides, she's yelling at me, at least she's speaking to me.
It's better than complete silence."
"Did anyone ever tell you you're a glutton for punishment?" Willow
asked, sitting next to him.
"Yeah, a certain red-head I know. What, you think I should give up?"
"No," Willow shook her head. "You two were really close, that's not
something that can be easily thrown away." She looked at her watch,
"Well, Oz, me and Buffy have to meet at Giles'." At Xander's depressed
expression, she said, "Oh, Xander, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to rub
it in--"
"It's okay, Willow," Xander replied with a half-smile. "Just watch out
for Buffy?"
"Of course I will," Willow said, returning the smile. "We _all_ will."
She rose and started back up the stairs, and then turned back, asking,
"Hey, when's Cordelia get back?"
"Next week," Xander answered.
"What are you going to do about that?" Willow wondered.
"What do you mean?" Xander replied. "She's my girlfriend, I imagine
we'll pick up where we left off."
"Oh," Willow said, obviously surprised.
"What?" Xander asked. "Just say it, Wills."
"Well, I thought... your feelings for Buffy--"
"Are beside the point," Xander answered. "She doesn't feel the same
way, and I do like Cordelia. If we can make it work, I don't see why
we shouldn't try."
"I guess," Willow shrugged. "I just want you to be happy, Xander."
"I'll be fine, Willow." At her skeptical look, he repeated, "I'll be
_fine_."
"Okay...see ya later, Xander," Willow said, and she left the house.
*****
Giles' House
Buffy walked over to Giles' house, determined to get the rest of the
gang on the same page as to the events of the night she'd killed
Angel.
"Hey, Giles," she said dully.
Giles took one look at her, and knew something was wrong. "Buffy, come
in," he invited. She noticed that Willow and Oz were already there.
"Hey," she said. She went in and sat on a chair.
Giles took in the dazed look on her face, and sat on the chair next to
her. "Buffy? Are you all right?" he asked. "And where's Xander?" he
added. Giles had gotten used to seeing the young man wherever there
was Buffy.
Buffy glared at him in reply.
"I take it you two had a ... falling out?" Giles asked hesitantly.
"That's a word ... or two... for it," Buffy shrugged. "There's
something I want you, and Oz, to know. I told Xander, and then Willow
found out. So I decided I should tell you too. I've kept things from
all of you for almost two months. I'm tired of secrets. Secrets only
cause pain," she added, looking at Willow sadly.
Willow understood the reference to the absent member of the group, and
said, "You can tell us, Buffy. Well, I guess I already know, but you
know what I mean."
"The night I went to the Mansion to fight Angelus, I had made a deal
with Spike. I know Xander told you that, I told him he could. Anyway,
it made things a little more even for me, to let Spike and Dru leave
town so I could concentrate on Angelus.
I fought him, I was about to slay him. Then, to my surprise, Willow's
spell worked." She looked up to see that Giles was caught by surprise
by that development. She noticed Oz was not showing any reaction, but
then again he wouldn't act surprised if a twenty-armed demon walked
up to them at that moment in time. Willow's expression was
sympathetic, and Buffy felt a pang of sadness. She knew that Willow
felt responsible for the timing of the curse, and wished she could
remove the girl's feelings of guilt.
"It's not your fault, Willow," she said. "You had no way of knowing,
it was just one of those things that fate does to Buffy. I don't
blame you in any way."
"I know you don't," Willow replied. "But that still doesn't mean I
wish I'd done the curse earlier, or--"
"No 'what ifs'," Buffy interrupted. "I'd never be able to keep
breathing if I lived my life that way." She took a deep breath and
continued her story. "He changed back to Angel, and he didn't
remember anything. I didn't have time, though. I couldn't tell him, I
saw that the Acathla demon was awake and ready to suck us all into
hell. So I killed Angel."
She closed her eyes against the pain, and took a shaky breath, willing
herself to stay in control. When she'd gotten a grip on her emotions,
she opened her eyes again, and said, "There. Now you all know what
happened that night. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I just
couldn't. I needed time."
"Buffy, I'm very sorry for all that you have lost," Giles said. "I
understand your unwillingness to talk about it, these past months
can't have been easy for you at all."
"They haven't been, but I can't let you guys keep covering for me,"
Buffy said. "I've depended on you to help me with the Slaying way too
much. It's time I start patrolling on my own."
"Buffy, I really don't think that's a good idea," Willow
protested. "Not now, not after what happened last night."
"I disagree, Willow," Buffy replied. "I'm in the perfect mood to kill
demons. Giles, please give me a chance tonight?"
Giles studied her face, and said, "Very well. But you have to promise
me _not_ to get in over your head. If things get bad, you get to
safety."
"You've got a deal," Buffy said. "Don't worry, guys. I'm going to be
fine." She stood and left then, saying, "I gotta run some errands for
mom before sundown. I'll check in with you after patrol, Giles."
After she'd left, Giles said, "I gather that mentioning Xander isn't a
good idea?"
"They got in a fight," Willow said. "Well, to be more exact, Buffy got
mad, she screamed, he left."
"Do you think she's all right?" Giles asked.
"She's about as ticked as she can get, but maybe that's okay," Willow
said. "At least she'll have an outlet for the anger." She saw the
concerned look on Giles' face, and added, "In my honest opinion, I
think she'll be fine tonight."
"Okay, I trust your opinion," Giles said. "I'm just not sure how much
more turmoil Buffy can take in her life."
"Me either," Willow agreed. "We just have to keep an eye on her, and
take it one day at a time, I guess."
*****
End 20