This is just a little Hikari monologue set after "Opposites Attract" (the first Silphymon episode...). It's also the first even half-happy Hiyako I've ever written. It's just basically trying to explain what I, personally, thought was going on in Hikari's mind through the season...and I CAN'T be the only one who thinks that Miyako and Hikari are acting really couple-y recently...right? Also watch out for falling Daiken, Jyoushiro, Mira, Taito and Takedai. Oh, yes...and Takari. Doesn't end that way, though. *Evil laughter.* And I'm assuming that the movie comes after Ken's fall but before he joins the group...I have my reasons, if anyone really cares, e-mail me.
And...since I always forget...Digimon isn't mine. Nothing in here is mine except the crazy ideas and the story in general. Oh, and any spelling mistakes/typoes. Those are mine. Nothing else, though.
*****
Miyako.
To be honest, there was a long time when...
When...
Oh, let's just start from the beginning.
I never really thought I might be gay, or even bisexual. There was no real reason for me to question, you have to know. I mean...I think I might have had little-girl crushes on Sora and Mimi...but...there was never really a question of who I'd end up with. Never. I mean, all of the older group paired off so nicely...my brother and Yamato became so close you'd think they shared...a soul, I guess. Or something. And Sora and Mimi were a couple since...well...I think that there was SOMETHING going on there even before I made my appearance. And Jyou and Koushiro...well...they're both quiet, but if you know what to look for, you can see it. And...with two left...well...Takeru and I were a pretty obvious couple, right?
Right?
I thought so, too.
We even went with it for a while. Went on dates. Kissed. There wasn't really a SPARK there, but we could pretend just fine, thank you very much. Pretending comes easy when it's something people are assuming anyway.
And that's the state the Digital World found us in when it grabbed us again. And...well...our little relationship/non-relationship wasn't really hurt, either. I mean, the only other person who seemed to have any interest in me was Daisuke and...well...you remember how he was back then, with his loud declarations of me being HIS girl...his brash...whatever. He was a jerk, pure and simple. Or that's at least what I thought. It takes a lot of time and energy to see what a sweetheart Motomiya Daisuke can be, and I had no intention of giving it.
However, it might surprise you to know that there was someone there who started to feel...something...for Daisuke.
Takeru.
I was shocked, too. I mean, like I said, Takeru and I were A Couple. And...well...
Anyway, you don't have to look so worried for your friend. Takeru's pretty over it...and I don't think he'd be interested in competing with Ken, even if he wasn't. These days...he thinks that it might have been something in his...whatever. Some of those chromosome pairs he shares with Yamato. In his mind rivalry and love are...I don't know...knit, I guess. But, anyway...that was when...
That's around the time that we realized that this might not work. That maybe he and I...that maybe...maybe...
Maybe destiny wasn't what we thought it was.
Destiny. It's a nice word, isn't it? We could find the others in destiny, even if it wasn't obvious at the time. You three showed us. Daisuke got Friendship and Courage. Taichi and Yamato. And you, Miyako...you got Purity and Love. Pretty simple. Sora and Mimi would approve. And Iori...well...after he got Knowledge...let's just say that nobody was really surprised when Faithfulness was his, too. Especially not Koushiro and Jyou. But me and Takeru...our destiny wasn't there. We couldn't see it right then. It was kind of tough...
Then again...the others couldn't see your Digimentals right off, either. It took years before they saw. We got off easy, Miyako. Really.
Anyway.
Back to me and Takeru.
After the Scubamon took me...the Dark Ocean...after I came back...I wanted to believe that that was it. Destiny had shown itself again. I had Takeru again, for once and always. I mean, he TOLD me he cared. I could almost hear wedding bells.
I wonder...I wonder what Daisuke thought right then. I wonder...I mean, that's when we told you all. I wonder if he cried. I wonder if he thought he'd lost forever. He really did love me, Miyako. I think on some level he still does. He can't lie about that. It's all over his face. He can't really lie to anyone. Maybe he isn't smart enough. Maybe he's too smart. He and Iori...they're really the same like that...but they're different, too. Iori doesn't even...he doesn't even want to TRY to lie. Daisuke...I think he'd lie if he could. But he's too earnest. He can't even lie to himself.
Anyway. I wonder what he was thinking. But...it's possible that I have too much ego here. I mean, by that point there was someone else in the picture. Destiny was working again.
Even if none of us would have believed it.
I mean, really. When Daisuke fell for Ken...oh, don't pretend you couldn't tell back then, Miyako. Lying doesn't suit you very well, either. It was really strange, back then. When you try to hide love in hate...it always looks weird. Just ask my brother and Yamato. If you'd seen how they used to fight...I didn't see the best ones, or so I've been told. But Takeru told me all about them. Hitting someone can be a very good excuse if you can't think of another reason to touch them, I suppose. It's nothing I've ever tried, but I've been told that it works. Anyway...when Daisuke fell for Ken...you remember. If anything, he was more possessive of me. He was trying. Hard. Not to think of it. But...he's a bad liar, like I said. And I guess he just lost interest in it after a while. The worst he got was when Wallace kissed us, and that was a while away. He didn't really care about me anymore. Not in the same way. He was all about "Kicking the Kaizer's butt," remember? It's almost funny to think of now.
Not funny ha-ha, funny ironic. Like you said a while ago.
Like you told Ken.
Anyway, by the time Ken decided to stop HIS game...Daisuke was VERY far gone. Mostly...I think he was lusting after Ken, though. I think love really came later.
I think I was seeing you a bit differently by then, too. Takeru and I...we weren't QUITE in the past...not officially...but we were pretty close. We weren't even trying anymore. We realized that we make better friends, I think. That we're too close to kiss, almost. More like brother and sister than anything else. And...Miyako...when we were in the Digital World that time...when Hawkmon got hurt and you acted like...like...like pure you, I guess...I...liked that. I liked you. I was...I tried to tell myself that you were my best friend, that I wished you were my sister. But...I...Takeru is actually the one who told me you liked me. Or that he thought you did. I...I thought he was crazy, really. I mean, Miyako...you fall...fell...whatever...for anything male. Boy crazy. But...then I started thinking. And I thought of...of how you were looking at Mimi that one time...or...I thought of a lot of things, really.
Miyako...the worst thing about you...your biggest flaw...is also your best strength. Your heart is too big. That's all. It's right that you got Love. No one else could hold it as well. You have love for everyone, don't you? On some level or another...you wanted Ken to be your boyfriend back then...now he's your best friend...and Daisuke...Koushiro...Hawkmon...Mimi...Iori is like your little brother...and...and...
Anyway.
More happened. But you...you probably remember it all. And it's not the most important part, really.
This is.
I talked to Ken the other day...don't look so surprised, Miyako. I know he's your friend, but we...I can talk to him, too. No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to sound the way it did. I can be his friend. I can be nice to him. Anyway...I talked to him the other day. For a long time. I suppose...I wanted a bit of support before I talked to you. And Ken would understand, wouldn't he? He and Daisuke...
And talking to Daisuke about...well...it wouldn't be the smartest, really. Not with...I think he still likes me, kind of. He's all about Ken...but there's still something there...or at least he wants to pretend that there is...
Oh, right. I was talking to Ken. And Ken...Ken told me that the moment he knew...REALLY knew...he needed Daisuke...that Daisuke was the only person he really wanted...it was when Exveemon and Stingmon Jogressed. When they became Paildramon. And then...right then...he heard Daisuke's heart. He could feel it. You remember Daisuke telling us about it. Their hearts were beating together. That's so...so...
Sweet, I guess.
Anyway...Miyako, when Tailmon and Aquilamon became Silphymon...I didn't hear your heart, Miyako. I didn't need to.
"We'll fight it together." You told me that. And you were holding both my hands and the light came down around us. And...and you told me I was beautiful. You remember. You have to.
Remember how I mentioned destiny, Miyako? Remember how I said we were lucky?
The old group didn't know who they were destined to be with until later. Well...I'm sure they did. In their hearts. But they didn't have any...any confirmation that it was really fate. Destiny. Not until later. Until you...and Daisuke and Iori...not until the digimentals.
We have the Jogresses, Miyako. If I ever doubt...if I feel bad or lost...I just remember how that felt. How it was. Miyako...I'm sure it...I don't...it was...
Indescribable. Just indescribable...and...
Anyway. Yes. I'm sorry...I'm sorry I've been talking so long. But I wanted you to understand everything that goes into this next...this next statement. I wanted you to know.
And now...
Inoue Miyako...I'm in love with you. I don't...I don't want to have to be without you.
That's all.
And I look at you...
And I know you understand.
And...since I always forget...Digimon isn't mine. Nothing in here is mine except the crazy ideas and the story in general. Oh, and any spelling mistakes/typoes. Those are mine. Nothing else, though.
*****
Miyako.
To be honest, there was a long time when...
When...
Oh, let's just start from the beginning.
I never really thought I might be gay, or even bisexual. There was no real reason for me to question, you have to know. I mean...I think I might have had little-girl crushes on Sora and Mimi...but...there was never really a question of who I'd end up with. Never. I mean, all of the older group paired off so nicely...my brother and Yamato became so close you'd think they shared...a soul, I guess. Or something. And Sora and Mimi were a couple since...well...I think that there was SOMETHING going on there even before I made my appearance. And Jyou and Koushiro...well...they're both quiet, but if you know what to look for, you can see it. And...with two left...well...Takeru and I were a pretty obvious couple, right?
Right?
I thought so, too.
We even went with it for a while. Went on dates. Kissed. There wasn't really a SPARK there, but we could pretend just fine, thank you very much. Pretending comes easy when it's something people are assuming anyway.
And that's the state the Digital World found us in when it grabbed us again. And...well...our little relationship/non-relationship wasn't really hurt, either. I mean, the only other person who seemed to have any interest in me was Daisuke and...well...you remember how he was back then, with his loud declarations of me being HIS girl...his brash...whatever. He was a jerk, pure and simple. Or that's at least what I thought. It takes a lot of time and energy to see what a sweetheart Motomiya Daisuke can be, and I had no intention of giving it.
However, it might surprise you to know that there was someone there who started to feel...something...for Daisuke.
Takeru.
I was shocked, too. I mean, like I said, Takeru and I were A Couple. And...well...
Anyway, you don't have to look so worried for your friend. Takeru's pretty over it...and I don't think he'd be interested in competing with Ken, even if he wasn't. These days...he thinks that it might have been something in his...whatever. Some of those chromosome pairs he shares with Yamato. In his mind rivalry and love are...I don't know...knit, I guess. But, anyway...that was when...
That's around the time that we realized that this might not work. That maybe he and I...that maybe...maybe...
Maybe destiny wasn't what we thought it was.
Destiny. It's a nice word, isn't it? We could find the others in destiny, even if it wasn't obvious at the time. You three showed us. Daisuke got Friendship and Courage. Taichi and Yamato. And you, Miyako...you got Purity and Love. Pretty simple. Sora and Mimi would approve. And Iori...well...after he got Knowledge...let's just say that nobody was really surprised when Faithfulness was his, too. Especially not Koushiro and Jyou. But me and Takeru...our destiny wasn't there. We couldn't see it right then. It was kind of tough...
Then again...the others couldn't see your Digimentals right off, either. It took years before they saw. We got off easy, Miyako. Really.
Anyway.
Back to me and Takeru.
After the Scubamon took me...the Dark Ocean...after I came back...I wanted to believe that that was it. Destiny had shown itself again. I had Takeru again, for once and always. I mean, he TOLD me he cared. I could almost hear wedding bells.
I wonder...I wonder what Daisuke thought right then. I wonder...I mean, that's when we told you all. I wonder if he cried. I wonder if he thought he'd lost forever. He really did love me, Miyako. I think on some level he still does. He can't lie about that. It's all over his face. He can't really lie to anyone. Maybe he isn't smart enough. Maybe he's too smart. He and Iori...they're really the same like that...but they're different, too. Iori doesn't even...he doesn't even want to TRY to lie. Daisuke...I think he'd lie if he could. But he's too earnest. He can't even lie to himself.
Anyway. I wonder what he was thinking. But...it's possible that I have too much ego here. I mean, by that point there was someone else in the picture. Destiny was working again.
Even if none of us would have believed it.
I mean, really. When Daisuke fell for Ken...oh, don't pretend you couldn't tell back then, Miyako. Lying doesn't suit you very well, either. It was really strange, back then. When you try to hide love in hate...it always looks weird. Just ask my brother and Yamato. If you'd seen how they used to fight...I didn't see the best ones, or so I've been told. But Takeru told me all about them. Hitting someone can be a very good excuse if you can't think of another reason to touch them, I suppose. It's nothing I've ever tried, but I've been told that it works. Anyway...when Daisuke fell for Ken...you remember. If anything, he was more possessive of me. He was trying. Hard. Not to think of it. But...he's a bad liar, like I said. And I guess he just lost interest in it after a while. The worst he got was when Wallace kissed us, and that was a while away. He didn't really care about me anymore. Not in the same way. He was all about "Kicking the Kaizer's butt," remember? It's almost funny to think of now.
Not funny ha-ha, funny ironic. Like you said a while ago.
Like you told Ken.
Anyway, by the time Ken decided to stop HIS game...Daisuke was VERY far gone. Mostly...I think he was lusting after Ken, though. I think love really came later.
I think I was seeing you a bit differently by then, too. Takeru and I...we weren't QUITE in the past...not officially...but we were pretty close. We weren't even trying anymore. We realized that we make better friends, I think. That we're too close to kiss, almost. More like brother and sister than anything else. And...Miyako...when we were in the Digital World that time...when Hawkmon got hurt and you acted like...like...like pure you, I guess...I...liked that. I liked you. I was...I tried to tell myself that you were my best friend, that I wished you were my sister. But...I...Takeru is actually the one who told me you liked me. Or that he thought you did. I...I thought he was crazy, really. I mean, Miyako...you fall...fell...whatever...for anything male. Boy crazy. But...then I started thinking. And I thought of...of how you were looking at Mimi that one time...or...I thought of a lot of things, really.
Miyako...the worst thing about you...your biggest flaw...is also your best strength. Your heart is too big. That's all. It's right that you got Love. No one else could hold it as well. You have love for everyone, don't you? On some level or another...you wanted Ken to be your boyfriend back then...now he's your best friend...and Daisuke...Koushiro...Hawkmon...Mimi...Iori is like your little brother...and...and...
Anyway.
More happened. But you...you probably remember it all. And it's not the most important part, really.
This is.
I talked to Ken the other day...don't look so surprised, Miyako. I know he's your friend, but we...I can talk to him, too. No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for that to sound the way it did. I can be his friend. I can be nice to him. Anyway...I talked to him the other day. For a long time. I suppose...I wanted a bit of support before I talked to you. And Ken would understand, wouldn't he? He and Daisuke...
And talking to Daisuke about...well...it wouldn't be the smartest, really. Not with...I think he still likes me, kind of. He's all about Ken...but there's still something there...or at least he wants to pretend that there is...
Oh, right. I was talking to Ken. And Ken...Ken told me that the moment he knew...REALLY knew...he needed Daisuke...that Daisuke was the only person he really wanted...it was when Exveemon and Stingmon Jogressed. When they became Paildramon. And then...right then...he heard Daisuke's heart. He could feel it. You remember Daisuke telling us about it. Their hearts were beating together. That's so...so...
Sweet, I guess.
Anyway...Miyako, when Tailmon and Aquilamon became Silphymon...I didn't hear your heart, Miyako. I didn't need to.
"We'll fight it together." You told me that. And you were holding both my hands and the light came down around us. And...and you told me I was beautiful. You remember. You have to.
Remember how I mentioned destiny, Miyako? Remember how I said we were lucky?
The old group didn't know who they were destined to be with until later. Well...I'm sure they did. In their hearts. But they didn't have any...any confirmation that it was really fate. Destiny. Not until later. Until you...and Daisuke and Iori...not until the digimentals.
We have the Jogresses, Miyako. If I ever doubt...if I feel bad or lost...I just remember how that felt. How it was. Miyako...I'm sure it...I don't...it was...
Indescribable. Just indescribable...and...
Anyway. Yes. I'm sorry...I'm sorry I've been talking so long. But I wanted you to understand everything that goes into this next...this next statement. I wanted you to know.
And now...
Inoue Miyako...I'm in love with you. I don't...I don't want to have to be without you.
That's all.
And I look at you...
And I know you understand.