Buffy was sitting by Xander's bedside, she didn't know how much
time had passed. She was holding one of his hands in both of
hers, talking to him. She didn't even know if she was making
sense anymore, she just felt the need to keep talking. Hoping the
sound of her voice would make a difference.
She looked up as Willow walked in, and Buffy smiled weakly at
her. "Hey."
"Hey, Buffy. The nurses were switching, so I took the opportunity
to sneak in," Willow said. Buffy stood, and Willow moved to stop
her. "No, I don't want you to leave. He needs you here with him."
"I don't want to keep you from spending time with him, Willow,"
Buffy protested. "He's your friend, too."
"Yes, but he's in love with you," Willow said. "And he needs to
hear your voice, it's the only thing keeping him here with us."
Buffy looked back to Xander, and sat down, sighing sadly. "It's
ironic, you know."
"What is?" Willow asked, moving to take a chair next to her
friend.
"When your mortal enemy calls you on emotions you didn't know you
had," Buffy replied, still looking at Xander.
Willow was silent, not knowing how to ask the question she wanted
to ask.
"I imagine you know, too," Buffy said. "I didn't ask for this,
but I think I love him."
Willow smiled, "Well, I don't think that's a bad thing, but I'm
biased I guess. You two have gotten really close, and you depend
on each other. I'd actually think there was something wrong with
you if you didn't start to realize how great Xander was."
"I've always known he was a great guy," Buffy replied, looking
back at her unconscious friend. "I just never thought that I
would feel anything like this for anyone after Angel died," Buffy
said. "I didn't want to. I didn't think I deserved to be happy."
"But do you still feel that way?" Willow asked.
"No," Buffy shook her head slowly, and looked over at Willow for
the first time. "I think... Angel would want me to be happy,
wouldn't he?"
"I know so," Willow replied. "So Spike knew, huh?"
"Yeah," Buffy said. "He was sufficiently crude and obnoxious
about it, but he was right. The minute he said it, it's like the
truth smacked me upside the head. And that made it so much worse.
Because if Xander dies, before I can tell him..." Buffy trailed
off, amd laid her head on the bed next to Xander's arm, crying.
"Life can be cruel, but I just can't bring myself to believe it
will be that cruel," Willow said, putting a comforting arm around
Buffy. "Just keep talking to him, and he'll find his way back to
you."
"Are you okay with this?" Buffy asked.
"You're a wonderful friend for even worrying," Willow said with a
smile. "But you don't need to. Xander and I are friends, and I
want him to be happy. You just make sure that happens, I don't
want to have to be in the middle of another bad situation between
you two."
"Deal," Buffy said. "This is going to sound odd, but I really
need to go out for a few minutes. Would you stay with him?"
"Of course I will. It must be important," Willow said.
"It is," Buffy replied. "It's not something I feel like I can
postpone." Buffy stood, and walked to the door. She stopped to
look at Xander for a few more minutes before she left the room.
End 35
time had passed. She was holding one of his hands in both of
hers, talking to him. She didn't even know if she was making
sense anymore, she just felt the need to keep talking. Hoping the
sound of her voice would make a difference.
She looked up as Willow walked in, and Buffy smiled weakly at
her. "Hey."
"Hey, Buffy. The nurses were switching, so I took the opportunity
to sneak in," Willow said. Buffy stood, and Willow moved to stop
her. "No, I don't want you to leave. He needs you here with him."
"I don't want to keep you from spending time with him, Willow,"
Buffy protested. "He's your friend, too."
"Yes, but he's in love with you," Willow said. "And he needs to
hear your voice, it's the only thing keeping him here with us."
Buffy looked back to Xander, and sat down, sighing sadly. "It's
ironic, you know."
"What is?" Willow asked, moving to take a chair next to her
friend.
"When your mortal enemy calls you on emotions you didn't know you
had," Buffy replied, still looking at Xander.
Willow was silent, not knowing how to ask the question she wanted
to ask.
"I imagine you know, too," Buffy said. "I didn't ask for this,
but I think I love him."
Willow smiled, "Well, I don't think that's a bad thing, but I'm
biased I guess. You two have gotten really close, and you depend
on each other. I'd actually think there was something wrong with
you if you didn't start to realize how great Xander was."
"I've always known he was a great guy," Buffy replied, looking
back at her unconscious friend. "I just never thought that I
would feel anything like this for anyone after Angel died," Buffy
said. "I didn't want to. I didn't think I deserved to be happy."
"But do you still feel that way?" Willow asked.
"No," Buffy shook her head slowly, and looked over at Willow for
the first time. "I think... Angel would want me to be happy,
wouldn't he?"
"I know so," Willow replied. "So Spike knew, huh?"
"Yeah," Buffy said. "He was sufficiently crude and obnoxious
about it, but he was right. The minute he said it, it's like the
truth smacked me upside the head. And that made it so much worse.
Because if Xander dies, before I can tell him..." Buffy trailed
off, amd laid her head on the bed next to Xander's arm, crying.
"Life can be cruel, but I just can't bring myself to believe it
will be that cruel," Willow said, putting a comforting arm around
Buffy. "Just keep talking to him, and he'll find his way back to
you."
"Are you okay with this?" Buffy asked.
"You're a wonderful friend for even worrying," Willow said with a
smile. "But you don't need to. Xander and I are friends, and I
want him to be happy. You just make sure that happens, I don't
want to have to be in the middle of another bad situation between
you two."
"Deal," Buffy said. "This is going to sound odd, but I really
need to go out for a few minutes. Would you stay with him?"
"Of course I will. It must be important," Willow said.
"It is," Buffy replied. "It's not something I feel like I can
postpone." Buffy stood, and walked to the door. She stopped to
look at Xander for a few more minutes before she left the room.
End 35