I think I'll dedicate this part to Tropical Fishy (What an honor!!! *g*)... Why? Because she wrote 'The flower and the stag', and that's reason enough! So I'll dedicate this to her, even if I'm not sure if she's reading it. J
Nail a pudding on the wall!
Part 8
"She slapped him! I can't believe it, she really gave him a slap in the face because he kissed her!"
Sarah stared after Lily and James, the girl dragging the other along with her while James was looking as if he was about to faint. Sarah and Sirius had followed the two of them outside, hiding behind a bush and observing their friends. They had seen them talking quietly, James' arm around Lily's shoulders, then he had seemed to be shocked about something, they had faced each other, he had kissed her – and Lily had slapped him for that. Her speech had been loud enough that Sirius and Sarah had been able to understand it, and now, Sirius watched his friend with anxiety and a feeling as if he had been the one who had been slapped.
"Dunno how he's feeling right now. Why couldn't she just see that he's really in love? It's so obvious!"
"She's scared, Sirius. I haven't any idea how, but you should talk to James. He mustn't give up. He has to convince her that he loves her!"
Sirius shook his head. "Listen to my words, Sa. Jamie's proud, so I'll bet that he'll go for another girl tomorrow, then, suddenly, he'll realize that this other girl isn't Lily and therefore doesn't interest him, and then, maybe he'll listen to me then, but not a second earlier."
"But if he bills and coos with another girl now, Lily'll never believe him!"
"I don't know, honestly, Sa, I don't know... All I know is that James too stubborn to act reasonable after that. He'll need someone to build him up, a girl, to be exact, to convince himself that he's still able to get a girl if he wants and that Lily's just different, and there's nothing we can do about it..." Sirius looked pale and miserable. He wanted everyone to be happy and he knew that his best friend wasn't happy at all at this very moment.
Sarah reached for his hand. "Come on, Sirius, let's go back inside, it doesn't help anyone if we're just standing here, nearly crying about a love that isn't lost yet."
He nodded slowly, and so they went back in the Great Hall, both a bit depressed and looking out for a certain person with red and another one with black hair.
***
James looked around while someone was dragging him, but all he could see were some blurred persons, unrecognizable and colourless, as if someone had thrown a veil over them. He wanted to tear it up, just when his glances hit the back of a person, a girl, and she was the one who was dragging him. The veil didn't seem to be spread over her, her red hair was shining, her blue robes were gleaming, and when she turned around to look at him, he also saw that her green eyes were as sparkling as ever. He blinked. Come down, he told himself firmly. Everything's normal, don't make an idiot of yourself. A moment later, he was able to see his surroundings clearly again. 'If that's how it feels to have a broken heart, then I'm sure that I don't like this', he thought, while he was following Lily to the table at which Peter already sat. 'No, it's definitely not one of those experiences you need for a good life. And now, I'll pull myself together.'
***
"Did you really think I could hate you?" Jessie was looking up at Remus, the two of them were sitting outside, wrapped up in the blanket, her head leaning against his chest while he had his arms around her waist. He remained silent for a moment, and just when she almost thought he wouldn't answer her, he spoke, and she could see his teeth flashing.
"Yeah." He smiled shyly. "If you're told that you're a monster just about every single day of your life... Just think of this lessons in Defence! - Oh, no, you didn't have them yet, of course, werewolfs are the topic at the end of the third year. Anyway, it's not nice to hear from your teacher how your classmates should kill you best, even if they don't know that the monster's sitting among them."
Jessie shivered slightly, then she turned around and took his face in her hands. "Don't say something like that, Remus. You're not a monster, you're you, and that's all one could ask for."
And with that, she kissed him, and we'll pay attention to someone else, tactful as we are.
***
Sarah and Sirius finally spotted the couple they searched: Lily and James were sitting at Peter's table, drinks in front of them, talking. Although James tried his best to look as usual, Sirius could tell that his friend was sadder than he ever saw him. Lily acted normally, he thought, until Sarah shook her head.
"Just look at her! She's all mixed up. Does a good job to cover it up, though."
"Yeah... - Hey, Sa! I won our bet!"
"You? Never! Jessie and Remus were the first to go out, I'm sure that they were the first to kiss as well."
"We haven't seen them, and Jamsie was quite quick!"
"No, it took him a few minutes, enough time for Remus and Jessie! Besides, it wasn't really a kiss, she didn't kiss him back!"
"You just don't want to lose you money." He grinned.
"No, you are the one who's trying to save his stake although you've lost the bet!" Sarah was also grinning now.
"Okay, so we've both lost our bet. What are we doing now? You'll give me five Galleons and I'll give you also five?"
"Noooooo! That's boring! You'll invite me to the Three Broomsticks the next time we're in Hogsmeade, and I'll invite you the next but one visit."
"Sounds good!"
The two were slowly approaching the table and took chairs next to Peter, Lily and James, who looked relieved to see them.
***
Half an hour later, after Professor Dumbledore had announced the end of the Ball, Jessie and Remus joined them on their way back to the Gryffindor common room, holding hands and smiling happily, and it took them quite a while to notice the anxiety of their friends. They gave Sirius and Sarah asking glances, but decided to keep their mouths shut when they both shook their heads. Yawning, the girls waved goodnight (or, in Jessie's case, kissed goodnight) and vanished in direction of their dorm.
***
"What happened?" Jessie was looking back and forth between Lily and Sarah, trying to find an answer on their faces. "Lil? What? Something about James?"
The red-haired girl nodded, but refused to look at anything else but the dark sky outside the window, so Sarah sighed and sat down on her bed.
"He kissed her, Jess."
Jessie didn't look surprise, she only smiled. "Yeah, was about time, wasn't it?"
"She slapped him for that."
"Sorry, what? This isn't true, is it? Tell me that you didn't do that, Lil!"
"I did." Lily's voice sounded muffled, as if it was coming from somewhere far away.
"Why?"
Sarah answered for her friend. "Because she isn't one of his many toys and because he can't play around with her. - Sirius and I were near you, and we heard your little speech, Lil. And even if you don't believe James, would you please believe me if I'm telling you that he loves you?"
"No, he doesn't. - Excuse me, I think I'm going to bed, I'm tired, really. Night." Lily closed the curtains of her four-poster. The other two girls exchanged and uncertain glance.
"Tomorrow. - Oh, and I want to know all about you and Remus!" Sarah whispered finally, and they put out the lights and closed their curtains as well.
***
Lily woke up the next morning and had to realize that it was not morning: She had not only missed breakfast, but also lunch! Why had Sarah and Jessie let her sleep till now? Normally, Sarah would have used happily a bucket of cold water to wake her up, so what was wrong? Did they think she needed some rest to recover from this little episode with James? Thinking of him kissing her and that she slapped him made her not feel any better, but she had to do it. Otherwise, she would have kissed him back or something like that, and then, she would have lost her mind completely, James would have had what he had wished for and would be going for another girl right now. Okay, he would be going for another girl right now anyway, but at least, she wouldn't be just one of his many ex.
She jumped out of bed, took an ice-cold - and very short - shower, slipped into her robes and went down into the common room - maybe she could sneak into the kitchen and get some food, she was starving. Lily met none of her friends, probably they were on the Quidditch pitch or visiting Hagrid. She would go to see him later, but at the moment, she just wanted to tickle the portrait of the fruit bowl, behind it was the entrance to the kitchen.
She came out a few minutes later, eating an apple, when she noticed a piece of paper in her pocket and remembered her sister's letter. She sighed. Okay, this day was wasted anyway, so actually, she could open this stupid letter and read Petunia's brand-new invectives. What would it be this time? Freak? No, that was as old as the hills. Red-headed monster? Not nasty enough, probably. Lily opened the white envelope, a black leaf was printed on it. 'What's that for?' Lily thought listlessly. 'Does she want to show her grief over my existence?' She shook her head, unfolded the parchment - and an instant later, she felt as if two Bludgers had just hit her at the same time. One had landed in her stomach and gave her the impression that she couldn't stand on her feet even a single second longer. She bent and slipped on the floor, her knees drew up. The second Bludger probably had hit her face, judging by the way she couldn't form a clear idea of what she just read, where she was, for a moment, she had even difficulties in remembering who she was.
Suddenly she got up, two words hammering in her head, over and over again: Our room. The 'room' was a chamber that Sirius, James, Remus, Peter, Jessie, Sarah and Lily had found about three month ago. It was hidden behind the painting of a sour looking knight, he seemed to hate everyone and everything, but when they gave him the password ('kaneana'), he let them pass, no matter how unwilling. In this moment, it seemed to be the only thing to do, go to the room, collapse onto one of the four - mostly blue - sofas and hoping that no one would find her for at least the rest of the day.
***
James tried to ignore that his neck was tingling nervously and a voice in his mind was yelling at him, telling that he was an idiot, a traitor and an arrogant would-be macho anyway. 'It's Lily's fault!' he secretly told it to shut it up. 'It was her decision to slap me, and if she definitely doesn't want me... well, I will not run after her!' But his unease didn't disappear, and when he kissed the brown-haired girl that was looking up at him with deep admiration in her eyes - 'what's her name again? Celine?' - he didn't feel any better, on the contrary, he felt almost as terrible as after this slap in the face yesterday. But that was ridiculous. Where did this guilty conscience come from? Lily didn't want him, so he wasn't betraying her, not in the slightest!
In this very moment, a voice was muttering the password, the portrait swung open, and Lily looked at him, horror in her eyes. He was shocked to see a tear running down her face, but before he could say or do something, she turned round, the painting closed behind her, and when he finally convinced the knight to let him out - the canvas would have a slightly burned corner forever - he couldn't see her anywhere. Leaving behind a completely puzzled girl, he ran off in the direction of the Gryffindor common room, wishing for nothing more than to see Lily and to tell her that this hadn't been what it had looked like.
***
Completely missing the protesting voices of a few girls, he climbed the stair to the girl's dormitories, rushed towards the one of the third years and quietly opened the door. Lily was laying on her bed, head under her pillow and not even moving when he came in. He approached her, sat down on her bed, and without even thinking for an instant, he hugged her tightly. She was startled, and the astonishment was enough to stop her crying. He looked at her.
"I'm... sorry, Lil, really. I'm so sorry..."
She stared at him, her eyes filling with tears once again. "How..."
"Listen, this girl, Celine, I think, she means nothing to me, I swear it. I wasn't thinking, please, believe me..."
Her eyes widened, but this time, it wasn't from surprise. They were flashing with anger, and an instant later, she had slapped him for the second time in two days.
"I know this may sound incredible to you, Mr. Pudding, but sometimes, a girl is not crying because you deceived her. And now let me go!"
She left the room in a hurry, leaving a letter on her pillow. He reached for it and was about to leave as well, looking fierce, when Jessie entered.
"What happened? Why's Lily running out of the common room?"
He sighed. "I dunno." He climbed down the stair, then, suddenly remembering something, turned around once again. "Jess? Why did she call me 'Mr. Pudding'?"
She grinned. "Oh, it was something she said about you some time ago. Let me think... - Oh, yeah, I recite: 'Trying to make James love you is like trying to nail a pudding on the wall.'"
"Oh."
***
James knew that he shouldn't read this letter, it was private and so on, but he needed really to know why Lily was so upset. So he sat down in a chair and unfolded the parchment.
Lily,
our parents are dead. Heart failure, says the doctor, but you and I, we
know it better. Two thoroughly healthy people don't die of heart failure,
not at exactly the same time, do they? No, dearest sister, some of your
kind must have killed them, and I hate you for that. It's you fault. If you
weren't such a freak, they would still be alive.
The funeral was a week ago, I couldn't write earlier because I didn't found
the address of your stupid school, but it's only fair that you weren't there.
You'll be living with Granny until you're old enough to look after yourself,
and I hope that we won't see each other too often.
Petunia
There weren't any traces of tears on the paper, but James could see that Petunia must have had much difficulties to write those lines. The letters were disorderly, smeared and written absolutely unlike the way Petunia would write normally. Not that he really thought about it, he just noticed it while he was getting up and climbing out of the common room, searching for a girl with dark-red hair who was probably hiding somewhere, where nobody could see her cry.
***
It took James nearly an hour to find Lily. She was sitting at the bank of the lake, head in her hands, looking up at the dark surface of the water only occasionally. She was no longer crying, and when she heard James' steps, she turned around and even managed to force a smile on her face.
"Lily! I'm so sorry, I'm such an idiot!" He sat down, facing her. "I didn't know that..."
The girl shook her head. "You couldn't know about it, James, and I'm sorry that I slapped you. I was... overreacting." Her voice was rather quiet, but it wasn't her normal voice, it was unusual high, and she had to hold back the tears once again. He looked at her in concern.
"Lil, if I'm hugging you right now, will you promise not to slap me? It might help..." He didn't await her answer, he just put his arms around her, stroked her back, not bothering about his robes that were more and more wet from tears.
***
"Lil?" James studied the girl that was now sleeping in his arms. Her hair was tousled, her face covered with dried traces of tears, she had closed her eyes tightly, her eyelashes were glittering black: the salt had made them stick together. James couldn't imagine anything more beautiful than the sight of her and he hated to wake her up, but it was getting dark and cold. So he brushed back her hair and shook her gently. She moaned and opened her eyes slowly.
"James?"
"We can't stay here, Lil. It's getting cold and dark."
She nodded only. He got up and helped her to her feet.
"Do you think you can make it to our common room? If not, I'll carry you."
"No... It's okay, I think." She was shivering, but a moment later, not only James cloak, but also his arms were wrapped around her, trying to warm her up and also to support her. She said nothing, but at this moment, she was grateful to have such a friend.
***
Sirius' first reaction when Lily and James entered the common room was a loud whistle, combined with broad grins from Sarah, Jessie, Remus and Peter. But they stopped immediately when they took a closer look at Lily.
"Oh my God! Lil, what happened?" Jessie rushed toward her friend and hugged her, then she and James led her to an empty chair.
"My parents... They're... dead." Lily whispered. Her eyes were filling with tears once again, but the next moment, she was surrounded with her friends who were hugging her, squeezing her hands, touching her shoulders, ruffling her hair, and she felt much better.
"My sister thinks that somebody killed them. A wizard, to be exact, and she says that it's my fault."
Lily had calmed down a bit and was now able to tell her friends everything, although she still had the strange feeling that a frog was hopping up and down in her stomach. "The doctor says that they both died of heart failure, but they were completely sane. But why should somebody want to kill them?" She burried her head in her hands, and Sarah put her in a tight embrace.
"Voldemort doesn't care if it's necessary to kill, Lil." James took her hand. "He thinks it's fun, killing people, especially Muggles."
"Don't say his name!" Peter was looking terrified, but nobody was listening to him, they all sat around Lily and tried to comfort her at least a bit.
***
It took more than a week until Lily was laughing again, for the first time after she heard that her parents were dead. And it would have taken much more time if her friends hadn't been there for her every single second she needed them. No matter if she wanted to talk or if she preferred to stare out of the window, somebody was always with her, occasionally squeezing her hand or stroking her hair, but - and she was grateful for that - never treating her as if she was going to die the next moment. Especially James hardly left her side, if he could manage it, he even came to look after her in the short breaks between two lessons, just to see if she was alright. Lily didn't know that, but he also told each girl that was asking him out or tried to flirt with him, that he was sorry, but there was another girl, and he loved her. It wasn't hard to find out who this girl was, but - surprisingly enough - nobody made a mean comment to Lily, she hadn't the faintest idea what was going on, and that was fine with James.
Then, one day during lunch, the boys looked as cheerful as if Gryffindor just won the Quidditch cup: Hardly suppressed smiles, unobtrusive glances to the teacher's table, but when the girls asked, they just shook their heads and told them to wait and see. Even Jessie wasn't able to elicit more from Remus, no matter how convincing she smiled or what she whispered to him, he just laughed and placed a finger on his lips. Just when Sarah and Jessie - even Lily was trying to make them tell their secret - were about to give up, Professor McGonagall suddenly climbed on her chair and started singing a sort of Folksong, but obviously, it was from a wizard band. The other teachers gaped at her in surprise, but not for a long time. One by one, they rose and joined McGonagall or started to dance more or less clumsy. It looked odd, to see adult wizards trying to spin around, throwing their legs in the air, gesticulating wildly and singing with all their hearts. And it was enough to make Lily laugh which was more the boys could hope for. They were laughing along with her, looking happy and pleased with themselves at the same time. It was then when Lily caught James gazing at her, and although he turned away quickly and acted as if nothing had happened, she was trembling inside. Was it only her imagination, or had there really been more in his eyes than just his usual love of adventure? She had never seen his eyes so dark that they were burning, so longing that she nearly got lost in them. But a moment later, she told herself not to be silly: James and love? Those two things were just too different. And with this, she got up and joined those students that were clearing the floor, making the tables flow to the walls so that there was a large space for everyone to celebrate: It was obvious that none of the teachers was able to hold his afternoon lessons that day.
*****
Aw! I didn't want to make this part that depressing, it just happened to be this way... But I think that Lily's feeling much better now.
RavenNat, did I mention that the seventh part was dedicated to you? The Remus-scenes, at least! *g*
Disclaimer: Same as ever, I'm running out of ideas. So: Okay, we're on fanfiction.net, therefore it's not a surprise that I own none of those characters, except Jessie and Sarah. Oh, and Celine, but she's not saying a single word, so actually, she's not more than a name. All the others belong to J. K. Rowling, Scholastic, Bloomsbury, Carlsen and I-don't-know-how-much-other publishers. It's not a good idea to sue me: The Euro's constantly losing in value, and as I don't own much more than, er, 10 € at the moment, it's not worth the efforts, really!
Oh, and review, please!
Saraléa