Buffy ran down the stairs, and opened the door. She discovered she'd
made the right choice in clothing, if Xander's expression was any
hint. When he'd recovered the use of his voice, he grinned sheepishly
at her, and said, "I think wow is just about all I have to say."

She smiled back at him, and said, "Thanks, Xan. You look nice too,"
she said, taking in his black slacks and blue button-down
shirt. "Come on in, mom isn't here. She had a last-minute business
trip, she just left," she called over her shoulder as she walked into
the kitchen to check on the food.

He followed her, and watched as she checked on the chicken in the
oven. "Smells good," he commented.

"I'm sure it will be," Buffy replied. "As long as I don't let it
burn." She looked up at him, he was standing a few feet away leaning
on the counter. "Let's go back into the den," she suggested. "You
need to sit, you're still weak."

"You're the boss," Xander shrugged and followed her into the den.

They sat on the couch, and she looked down at her hands, feeling
suddenly nervous. *Why are you being so silly? This is Xander, you
can talk to him.*

"So when are you going to tell me?" Xander asked.

She knew what he'd been referring to, it had taken her a few days to
get used to not having the ring on her finger. "I guess now," she
smiled up at him.

*Bad idea, train of thought just derailed* she realized as her eyes
met his. *Why is it I feel like I could just look into those eyes
forever and never get bored?*

"Buff?" Xander pulled her from her internal musings, with a
questioning look.

"Sorry," she shook her head as if to clear her head. "Ring, gone,
right. I took the ring off, and I returned it to its rightful owner.
Or as close as I could. It's at the Mansion," Buffy said. "I was
holding onto it for all the wrong reasons. I thought for so long that
I deserved to suffer for what I had to do. But you, and the others,
never let me keep thinking that way.

And somewhere along the line, I started to let go. I realized last
week that I'd already let go, and taking off the ring was just the
final step in doing that.

"It doesn't mean that I don't still have feelings for Angel," Buffy
continued, "I'd be lying to myself if I pretended I didn't. But that
doesn't mean there isn't room in my life for...someone else."

She caught the time on her watch then, and jumped up, muttering
something about chicken. Xander chuckled, and followed after her. He
watched her for a moment, silently, letting himself daydream. This
was a girl who, for the first time in Xander's life, made him think
about the rest of his life. Occasionally he would let himself wish
that she could love him as much as he loved her, that they could have
a 'happily ever after ending'....

Xander returned to reality, as he realized that Buffy was looking at
him questioningly. "Sorry, Buff," he smiled, "did you say something?"

"Just that dinner's ready," she smiled back at him. "Sit," she
ordered, nodding to the kitchen table.

"Like I said earlier, you're the boss," Xander grinned at her, and
moved to sit. He watched as she put the plate of food in front of
him, and said, "Didn't know you had a domestic streak."

She raised an eyebrow at him, and shrugged, "You're getting special
treatment because you deserve it," she said, sitting with her own
plate, "but don't expect this all the time," she warned.

"I wouldn't," Xander replied with a smile. "Spending time with you is
good enough for me, I don't expect anything more than that.."

Buffy smiled, that same line from any other guy would seem like a
line, but from Xander she knew it was sincere.

******
An hour later after dinner, they wandered back into the den. "Please
tell your mom for me that was the best meal I've had in a long time,"
Xander said.

"I will," Buffy replied. She sat on the couch next to him, and was at
a loss for words again. She looked at the floor, looked at the wall,
and decided the floor needed more studying.

"Buffy?" Xander placed his hand under her chin, and turned her to
face him. "What's up? There's obviously something bothering you."

"No," she smiled reassuringly, and took his hand in hers. "Nothing's
bothering me, it's just that I'm trying to figure out how to say
something, and I'm finding it a little bit more difficult than I
thought it would be."

"You can tell me anything," Xander replied, "You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I do," Buffy said with a smile. You've been such a great
friend to me, Xan. You kept me from losing it so many times, just by
being there. You've become such an important part of my life, and I
think I've taken that for granted.

But I was snapped out of that attitude when you almost died. I've
never been so scared in my life, Xander. And I had a lot of time to
think, and ask myself why the thought of losing you scared me so much
more than losing Angel.

You're my best friend, Xander, and I can't imagine what my life would
be without you in it. I care about you so much. What I said earlier
about finally having room in my life for someone else, I wasn't
talking about just any someone else. I was talking about...you." This
last word was almost a whisper.

She watched him as he processed what she'd said. "What?" he finally
said. He refused to believe his ears, he thought he was
misunderstanding something.

She took a deep breath, and forced herself to look into his eyes. "I
said goodbye to Angel one last time, so I could move on with someone
else. With my best friend, who loves me so much more than I deserve.
But I want to try to deserve it. I've loved you as my friend for so
long, Xan, but now I think I'm falling in love with you."

Xander looked at her silently, trying to prod his brain to catch up
with what his ears had just heard. "Did you," he said hoarsely, and
tried again. "Did you just say what I think you said?" he asked. He
had turned to face her, his hand still captured in hers.

She smiled, and took his other hand. She looked up at him and
said, "If you heard me say that I'm falling in love with you, then
yes."

"That's what I thought I heard, but you never know. I could be
delusional. It could be the painkillers. Or maybe it's a dream, and
I'm going to wake up and this whole night never happened. And if that
was the case, I'd be really really upset."

"It's not a dream, Xan," Buffy said, reaching up to stroke his cheek
gently. "I love you, and I'm yours, if you still want me."

"If I want you???" Xander said incredulously. "How can you even ask
me that question?"

"I guess because I'm afraid," she admitted softly.

"Afraid????" Xander asked, taking her face in his hands. "What on
earth are you afraid of? Don't you know how much I love you?"

"I've rejected you so many times," Buffy replied. "I guess I wasn't
sure you'd still be waiting when I finally faced my feelings.

"I'm not the type to just stop loving someone because it's tough,"
Xander replied. "I love you, Buffy Summers, and nothing is ever going
to stop me."

"I was hoping you'd say that," Buffy said, and hugged him.

"I know I've let you down in the past, but it will never happen
again." Xander said into her hair, "I promise I will always try my
hardest to keep you safe and happy."

"You already do," Buffy looked up at him then. Their eyes met and
locked for a full minute. Xander pulled away, to Buffy's
disappointment.

"Don't look at me like that," he said. "I want to take things slow. I
want this to be perfect."

"I guess I can't argue with that," Buffy shrugged. "Well, I can, but
I won't."

"Good," Xander said with a smile. "So, will you go out with me
tomorrow?"

"Of course I will," Buffy replied. "Where?"

"Well, our options being limited..." Xander trailed off.

She shrugged, "Bronze it is, I guess."

"When are we going to tell the others?" Xander asked.

"Tomorrow afternoon," Buffy said.

"You're sure you're okay with that?"

"Xander, I have no intention of backing out of this. Now, if you do--
"

"No!" Xander interrupted quickly, and the panicked look on his face
caused Buffy to giggle.

"Okay, sorry I suggested it," Buffy said with a smile. "We'll get
everyone together in the library around lunch. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah," Xander said. "Well, I should go," he said, standing up. Buffy
walked him to the door, and he turned back, saying, "Well, good
night."

"Good night, Xan," Buffy said. Sheput her arms around his neck and
raised up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. He put his hand to
his face in shock, and she rolled her eyes at him. "How melodramatic.
Go home."

Xander grinned at her. "Bye."

She watched him walk down the street and out of sight, before she
returned inside. She went up to her room, and for the first time in
three months fell asleep with a smile on her face.

**********