Title: Still Thinking
Rating: PG
Fandom/Pairing: Enemy at the Gates, Vassili/Danilov, Vassili/Tonya
Keywords: slash
Author's notes: This is a testament to my slash addiction. I can't watch or read anything without slashing it, now. Ah well, this is more canon than usual, I guess. It's also kind of fragmented...
I don't think of him anymore. I mean, I think of him, mostly at night, when I close my eyes and see his body again, his life taken so I could succeed. But I don't look at her and wish it were him anymore. I've gotten over wishing it were his firm lips instead of her pliant ones, his large, smooth, writer's hands instead of her small, calloused, soldier's. I sleep at night, now.
It started right away. All the adrenaline. He was up all hours writing, writing about me, creating the propaganda we needed to win this war. I was up all hours, too, being a soldier, and helping him. So I guess it wasn't right away that it started, because it didn't start until we crashed, Danilov and I, into each other's arms one night. Neither of us was inexperienced in this method of forbidden love, and it was quite explosive. Dani was an addiction, for me anyway, and I couldn't get enough of him. Our romance was at the same time fast, furious, but very sweet. I honestly wish it didn't have to end. It did, of course, if anyone found out both of us would be ruined and probably killed. And then she came along, and I saw in her my future. Not the future I wanted, mind you, because Danilov was who I really wanted, but she was the future I could have.
I wondered for a while if I would've left him the rifle if I'd known she was alive at the time. Thinking back now, I know I would've. Dan built me up to be the soldier the Red Army needed, even though I couldn't live up to the creation. I couldn't do it, I couldn't win, and I knew it. I think Dan did too, he knew me well enough, but he didn't acknowledge it, he refused to. He needed me as that figure. That was why he deserved the rifle, because in the end, he, not I, was the one that lived up to the legend.
So I'm over him. I can't forget him, though, that would never happen. She and I made sure of that.
"Vassili? What are you doing up so late, love, you should sleep."
"I can't sleep."
"Ay, come on. Lay awake with me, then. Don't wake your sons, they need their rest, too." She was right, I knew. I kissed both of the boys, nearly 2 year old now, on the forehead and followed her to the door, turning to whisper,
"Good night, Sacha. Good night Danilov." Their names would live forever through us.
Rating: PG
Fandom/Pairing: Enemy at the Gates, Vassili/Danilov, Vassili/Tonya
Keywords: slash
Author's notes: This is a testament to my slash addiction. I can't watch or read anything without slashing it, now. Ah well, this is more canon than usual, I guess. It's also kind of fragmented...
I don't think of him anymore. I mean, I think of him, mostly at night, when I close my eyes and see his body again, his life taken so I could succeed. But I don't look at her and wish it were him anymore. I've gotten over wishing it were his firm lips instead of her pliant ones, his large, smooth, writer's hands instead of her small, calloused, soldier's. I sleep at night, now.
It started right away. All the adrenaline. He was up all hours writing, writing about me, creating the propaganda we needed to win this war. I was up all hours, too, being a soldier, and helping him. So I guess it wasn't right away that it started, because it didn't start until we crashed, Danilov and I, into each other's arms one night. Neither of us was inexperienced in this method of forbidden love, and it was quite explosive. Dani was an addiction, for me anyway, and I couldn't get enough of him. Our romance was at the same time fast, furious, but very sweet. I honestly wish it didn't have to end. It did, of course, if anyone found out both of us would be ruined and probably killed. And then she came along, and I saw in her my future. Not the future I wanted, mind you, because Danilov was who I really wanted, but she was the future I could have.
I wondered for a while if I would've left him the rifle if I'd known she was alive at the time. Thinking back now, I know I would've. Dan built me up to be the soldier the Red Army needed, even though I couldn't live up to the creation. I couldn't do it, I couldn't win, and I knew it. I think Dan did too, he knew me well enough, but he didn't acknowledge it, he refused to. He needed me as that figure. That was why he deserved the rifle, because in the end, he, not I, was the one that lived up to the legend.
So I'm over him. I can't forget him, though, that would never happen. She and I made sure of that.
"Vassili? What are you doing up so late, love, you should sleep."
"I can't sleep."
"Ay, come on. Lay awake with me, then. Don't wake your sons, they need their rest, too." She was right, I knew. I kissed both of the boys, nearly 2 year old now, on the forehead and followed her to the door, turning to whisper,
"Good night, Sacha. Good night Danilov." Their names would live forever through us.