Disclaimer: The characters involved in this story are the property of Marvel comics, and I'm only borrowing them for entertainment. No money has been gained in the creation of this story, and no small animals were harmed either. The song "I Will Survive" doesn't belong to me either, and I apologize for misusing it. The lyrics appearing in this story aren't completely accurate; this is the way they appear in my head, despite several people's attempts to correct that.
Further Disclaimer: This story was developed/inspired during a weekend containing too much '70s music, too little sleep, and a few really psychotic dreams involving an ex. The writer, therefore, cannot be held accountable for this story and completely disclaims any responsibility for its content.
Ah Will Survive
It had been over a week since the team returned from Antarctica, but things definitely weren't as normal. For one thing, Gambit obviously wasn't around. On the other hand, even though he was supposed to be away with Betsy, Warren was around a lot, trying to touch base and establish a balance for his gyrating life. Jean and Scott were understandably self-absorbed after their narrow escape. Rogue was the worst, though, completely withdrawn into herself, oblivious of her surroundings, even including Joseph's protective hovering.
After a week of such brooding, Rogue suddenly surfaced from her semi-catatonic depression. One morning, she emerged from her room vibrant, cheery, and completely unwilling to discuss the cause of her recent melancholy. It was almost as if he had ceased to exist for her. She flitted brightly around the mansion, chatting blithely with Storm, helping care for and cheer Scott, and responding to Joseph's constant devotion with what might be described as coquetry. Storm, distrustful of this sudden change in her friend, tried to ask about it, but every time the conversation got near Gambit, Rogue became withdrawn and reticent until the topic moved elsewhere. The rest of the team learned to avoid mentioning him in her presence, and she quickly returned to her normal spirited self. Until she found a most unwelcome guest waiting in her room one evening...
She'd spent a pleasant afternoon out by the lake with Joseph, basking in Ororo's good weather and Joseph's adoration. Her spirits were high and a warm glow filled her body and heart. Her soaring lightness crashed and an antarctic chill cut into her as she opened the door to find him lounging casually on her bed, a rakish grin on his face. Her body began to tremble, and she heard a voice come from her mouth without her direction, breaking with shock. "Remy?" The quaver in her tremulous voice and the triumphant gleam in his smoldering eyes sent a burst of fury through her that reforged the strength in her spine and erased her confusion. "What are you doing here?" she asked icily, lips distorting into a snarl as she bit off the words.
It's funny the things that go through a person's head at times like that. As she watched his face go from smug amusement to calculated charm, Rogue wasn't thinking of the things she'd learned from his trial that had made her so angry. She was actually focused on song lyrics that kept randomly floating across her stream of thought.
find you here with that same look upon your face.
"Chere, I came back t'ask you to change your mind," he began, charm beaming full-force. She'd always thought puppy-dog eyes had to be brown before she'd met him. "You know people dat done things can change. Please, Rogue, give me dat chance." Now he was trying to play her own past against her, a bluff she might have folded to if she didn't know as much as she did about his past.
"You had ya chance, Gambit, an' ya blew it," she told him firmly. A look of shock crossed his face at this forceful response.
Did you think I'd crumble, think I'd lay down and die?
"Chere, you gotta know how bad I feel 'bout what I did, how much I didn't wanna do dat. You been in my head," he persisted, still trying to pull her heart strings.
I'm not that helpless little girl that's still in love with you.
"Yeah, Ah have been in yoah head, which is why Ah..." She broke off suddenly as a panicked thought struck her. If he realized she knew more of his secrets than she had told the team, she could be in danger of something more serious than a broken heart. Quickly, she stammered and tried to cover her slip. "Which is the only reason any of us know what ya did. Askin' forgiveness for somethin' ya couldn't even admit ya did."
"Oui, couldn't even tell anybody because I hate it so much," he countered softly, knowing she'd pick up the implication that he hated himself for it as well. When his pitiful silence didn't elicit any softening response from her, he continued. "Chere, I didn't jus' come back t'ask de team to accept me, and I don't care if dey do. I came back t' you. I love you, Rogue, an' having you's what give me the strength to get past it all."
I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong..
She really wished she could believe that; it had been a nice dream, one she'd been sorry to let go of. But from after what she'd seen in his thoughts, she knew better. She was just an easy mark for him to prey on to have a good connection and defender in the team, and a weak spot back in as a precaution if something went wrong, which it most certainly had. "Ah don't think you know how to love, an' Ah stand by what Ah said before. If ya can't trust me, you don't really love me," she told him firmly.
"Chere, you know dat's not how it is," he pleaded desperately. "Remember dat night in Antarctica, you without your powers an' both of us scared for what the morning'd bring? Dat was love, Rogue. Dat's what it could be like, what it should be for us." He was playing every card in his hand, and it wasn't enough.
Now I'm saving all my love for someone who's loving me.
He didn't know that Joseph had refined the Z'noxx chamber to give her the ability to touch him and that they'd shared several less intense and more meaningful experiences than that one frantic night. "That's what Ah have with Joseph now," she told him coldly. "Ah believe him, Ah trust him, an' Ah know that he ain't lyin' to me every time Ah turn around. You're outclassed, Gambit, so just let it go."
She saw the look of anger that rose in his blazing eyes, quickly covered by a mask of pain. "I really mean so little dat you can jus' fall in de arms of de next man dat walks by?" he asked bitterly.
I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high.
"Ah spent my week of mourning over what we lost, but Ah got through it, an' Ah got over you, an' Ah moved on," she informed him calmly. "Ah loved you enough for it to really hurt, but not enough dat Ah don't realize when the image gets shattered by the truth. Ah really don't think we have anything more to discuss." She crossed her arms firmly over her chest and stared at him pointedly.
Just turn around, 'cause you're not welcome anymore.
"Dere's nothin' I can say or do to change your mind?" he asked plaintively.
"No, Ah don't think so. You've already done enough."
"I guess I'll just let myself out, den," he said forlornly, dragging himself off her bed and over to the window. She stood right where she was and watched him stonily, not even a hint of softening to give him an opening to pry at. With a long sigh, he slipped out the window and into the night. He skillfully avoided the security systems, leaving no trace of his presence except in the mind of the woman who stared silently at her window, only one coherent thought emerging through the maelstrom of her emotions.
I will survive!