Title: Blessed Union of Souls II: Deep Water 06/17
Author: Somogyi
Email: somogyi02@yahoo.com
Category: SRA
Rating: R for language, adult situations
Spoilers: Through Season Six
Keywords: M/S UST, S/Other Romance
Summary: Sequel to "Not the Doctor." Their partnership on shaky ground, Mulder
and Scully are called in to investigate the mysterious death of two teenagers in
a Hawaiian cave. While exploring the crime scene and its vicinity, they are
trapped by a cave-in. Will they be able to find their way out--without killing
each other first?
Disclaimer: The X-Files, Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, and all other characters
associated with the series are the property of Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen
Productions, and the Fox Network. Characters are used without permission and no
profit is being made.
*****
Blessed Union of Souls II: Deep Water
by Somogyi
somogyi02@yahoo.com
Chapter 6
"Scully, wait!" Mulder called, running to catch up with her. If she got much
further ahead with the flashlight, he could easily take a bad step and hurt
himself. When he started out, he could still make out her retreating silhouette
in the beam of light. But after several yards, she ducked down and disappeared
through a small opening in the cave wall.
Cursing under his breath, Mulder crouched down sideways and squeezed himself
though the narrow passageway. Seeing the light around a bend in the path, he
gave chase. When he came around the turn, he nearly barreled into Scully, who
now stood perfectly still.
"What the hell's gotten into you, Scully?" he shouted. "You've got the only
light source, and you took off out of there like a bat out of--"
"Mulder, look!" she cut him off in a hushed tone. She was pointing straight
ahead. "Just look at it!"
Mulder's gaze followed her hand, and he felt his breath catch.
"Is that not the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"
"Pinch me, Scully. I want to make sure I'm not dreaming--and that's not a
mirage."
"That's no mirage, Mulder. That's an oasis."
Somewhere, water dripped, and in the eerie quiet of the caves, it sounded
preternaturally loud. Scully's attention, however, was focused on the sight of
the underground lake. Its smooth glass-like surface beckoned to her. Without
another word, Scully tucked the flashlight into the waistband of her jeans and
strode forward toward the water. As she approached, the dripping formed a sharp
staccato, creating a soothing melody that was punctuated only by the crunch of
her boots against the cooled lava under her feet.
Mulder quickly joined her at the foot of the lake and knelt down beside her.
Somewhere a faint breeze wafted by, tossing a tendril of Scully's hair across
her cheek. She reached down first, dipping her fingers into the cool water. They
watched, entranced, as the surface rippled around the small disturbance. Finding
the water refreshingly cool, Scully rinsed her hands the best she could. Next
she brought her hand to her nose and inhaled. The water had no odor. Then she
brought her fingers to her parched lips. No peculiar taste.
She looked over at Mulder, who had been watching her intently. Slowly, a smile
crept across her face, and she nodded okay.
Almost as one, they reached downward. Cupping the cool water in their hands,
they quickly drank mouthful after greedy mouthful. It was the first drink they
had had since Uncle Stu had shared his canteen with them shortly before the
cave-in. As hot and tired and dirty as they were right now, it tasted sweeter
than the very nectar of the gods.
When her thirst was finally satiated, Scully silently removed her soiled
windbreaker. Taking the towel from the pocket, she dunked it in the water and
wrung it out before bathing her face with the cool liquid. She sighed at how
refreshing it felt to her flushed skin. She used the cloth on her face, neck,
the area of her chest not covered by her v-necked tee-shirt, her arms. Before
long, she felt sufficiently cooled. She dipped the cloth again, and this time
took to scrubbing away the dirt and grime the best she could.
She turned to see what her partner was up to, and only then noticed the way he
was staring at her, enraptured. She blushed, embarrassed at being the focus of
his scrutiny.
Avoiding his gaze, she offered him the towel. "Your turn," she said, focusing on
the lake at her feet.
Mulder quickly pulled his own jacket off over his head. "Thanks," he replied,
taking the towel from her. As he started to clean himself off, Scully turned her
attention to trying to get the guano off of her windbreaker.
After many minutes of scrubbing, she realized it was about as clean as it was
going to get without the benefit of soap. Spying a large flat rock a few yards
away, Scully walked over to it and spread her jacket on the surface to dry.
Then, putting down the flashlight, she perched herself beside the jacket,
drawing her knees up to her chest and gazing out at the lake. After several
moments, she felt her eyelids growing heavy. Not having enough energy to fight
it, Scully folded her arms on her knees and lay her head on top, closing her
eyes.
"This seat taken?"
Scully looked up to see Mulder standing before her, hands shoved into his jeans
pockets. "All yours," she said, indicating the unoccupied portion of the rock on
the other side of her.
Mulder silently sat down beside her, clasping his hands between bent knees. He
followed her gaze out to the lake. "Quite a view, huh?"
"Sure is."
"Good idea of yours to stop here for a while, Scully. I think we both needed the
break."
"Mmm hmm." She felt her eyes beginning to close yet again. What she wanted more
than anything at that moment was to curl up on the rock and sleep for about
three days.
Mulder, it seemed, had other ideas.
"So. Scully."
Scully sighed. Obviously her partner was not going to let her take a quick
catnap after all.
"How'd it feel being back at Quantico?"
Interesting. While he was on leave, Mulder must have done some checking into
Scully's temporary reassignment. Did that mean he actually cared what she had
been doing these past two weeks? More likely he was concerned with how it
affected his precious X-Files. Well, it was time for Mulder to learn that she
did not need him in order to function as an effective agent--that her having a
successful career did not depend upon him or the X-Files.
"Like going home again," she replied nonchalantly.
"You've just been substituting for one of the regular profs?"
Was that a hint of uncertainty she detected in his voice?
"I accepted the teaching assignment as a favor to Dr. Craig, so that she could
go visit her mother, who's taken ill. But I've actually enjoyed my stint at
Quantico. It's been a welcome change of pace. I guess I've forgotten how
rewarding it is being an instructor."
"Thinking about taking up teaching again?" His tone was light, bordering on
boredom. But she could tell from his rigid posture that the answer to his
question mattered deeply to him.
"Perhaps. There's a lot to be said for sharing one's knowledge, and helping to
shape young minds. I've always found it very fulfilling."
"Still, it must get old pretty quickly. Don't you miss autopsying the odd
flukeman now and then?"
"Ah, but how often does one come across such an unusual case? Teaching these
kids, it's best to start with more recognizable specimens. It's similar to med
school--you start with basic anatomy before dealing with pathology."
"All the same, you must get bored. An experienced field agent like you, Scully,
with your well-trained scientific background, needs the challenge of the
unrecognizable oddities. . . . Admit it, I think they turn you on." Mulder gave
her a sly, teasing look.
Scully arched an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, nothing like a liver-eating mutant to get me
all hot and bothered," she said, planting her arms behind her on the rock and
leaning back on them in what she hoped to be a casual pose. "By the same token,
all this talk about Kahunas and angry cave spirits must have you in desperate
need of a cold shower," she retorted with a small grin.
"Cold showers are my specialty," Mulder replied as he deliberately fell over
backward into the pool of water with a loud *splash!*
"Mulder!" Scully gasped, his unannounced exit taking her completely by surprise.
Annoyed, she slowly shook her head, waiting for him to return so that she could
rebuke him for his sophomoric behavior.
When he did not resurface right away, however, she began to grow concerned.
"Mulder?" she called, kneeling on the rock. She peered over the edge, into the
lake at the spot where he had dove in. There was no sign of him. "Mulder!"
*Where the hell is he?* she wondered. *His luck, the lake is only a few feet
deep and he bashed his head in on an underwater rock. I really don't want to
have to go diving in after hi--*
"Bonsai!"
Scully's mind registered the warcry along with the sound of water smashing
against the rock, but she was not quick enough to react as Mulder broke the
surface behind her, grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her over the edge of
the rock and into the water with him.
She flailed about, coughing and sputtering, as she pushed away from him and
tried to keep her head above water.
"Cold showers and I are deep--" *splash* "--and trusted friends," he told her.
"Mulder!" she shouted, trying to wipe the water from her eyes. "What the hell
are you doing?"
"Relax, Scully. After your little turd tumble, this little bath'll do you some
good," she heard Mulder say a moment before she felt his arms snake around her
torso, trying to submerge her in the lake.
"Goddammit, Mulder! Let go of me!" she spat, struggling to get out of his grasp.
"Not until you say Uncle, Scully," he said, holding her tight.
"I said--*let go!*" she roared, clawing at his hands in an attempt to loosen his
hold on her.
"Not until you tell me you're not leaving the X-Files."
She managed to slip one of her arms free and she quickly thrust it backwards,
giving him a strong jab to the ribs with her elbow. "I wouldn't hold my breath
if I were you," she warned him.
Wounded more from her words than her blow, Mulder let her go. He felt the waves
of water lap against his sodden jacket as Scully pulled away from him and waded
toward the edge of the lake. Treading water, Mulder just stared at her as she
began to wring the water from her hair and t-shirt. For a long moment he stared
at her silhouette in the darkness. The silence became thunderous, roaring in his
ears. Soon, he could stand it no longer.
"Scully. . . ."
"Not another word, Mulder."
"But Scully--"
"I don't want to talk about this right now."
"When, then?" he asked as he followed her to dry land. "We're trapped alone in
an underground cave on what could very well be our last case. When would you
care to discuss it?"
"Never would be too soon."
"I can't believe you're going to let one stupid case come between us, Scully.
Especially after all we've been through. We've always worked well together. You
. . . center me, focus me, balance me. We make a great team. Always have. . . ."
His voice faded into a low murmur as Scully watched his form gesture in the
darkness through wet eyes. He was listing all the reasons--good logical reasons
why they made great partners. But logic was not what she wanted to hear right
now.
"You're always backing me up, covering for me," he continued.
"When you let me anyway," she reminded him, unable to hide the flare of jealousy
from her voice.
Mulder noticed her bitter tone, remembered it from their confrontation two weeks
ago. Surely, she had said then all that there was to say on the matter. Talk
about beating a dead horse. He could not believe that she was unwilling to let
this issue drop. Why couldn't she just just let it go? If the tables were
reversed, she would accuse him of being obsessed. Mulder felt his own anger
flare at Scully's double standards.
"Are you still upset over that detective, Scully?" he asked, his tone harsh.
"I'm your partner, you know--not your date."
Abruptly, Scully stiffened. *And to think I had thought of it as a dinner date.
God, what a fool I've been,* she thought, angrily berating herself for indulging
in naive schoolgirl fantasies.
Slowly, she rose until she stood completely straight, and squared her shoulders.
"Yes, Mulder, that's right. You're supposedly my partner. Which means when
you're following a lead for a case, I expect to be informed of your whereabouts.
As a friend, I didn't expect you to stand me up, to ditch me. I expect more from
you. Hell, I *deserve* more from you. But you obviously don't even respect me
enough to pick up your goddamned cell phone."
"I thought I already apologized for that, Scully. But, come on now, let's be
realistic adults here. I can't always be expected to drop you a note . . .
sometimes there isn't enough time."
"Mulder, you drove to the airport and took a flight to New York. There were
plenty of opportunities. You just couldn't be bothered to call me. I guess you
had other things on your mind."
"Sometimes the goddamned cell phone gets lost, Scully!" Mulder walked over to
her and towered over her in a tactic she had seen him use many-a-time to
interrogate suspects. "And sometimes circumstances don't lend themselves to cell
phone usage!"
She was not about to let him intimidate her. Crossing her arms, she stared up at
him and met his gaze with eyes that blazed in fury. "That's why God invented pay
phones, Mulder. As your partner, I should have been notified. I should have been
there, to back you up, to cover your ass. Instead, you left me to take the heat
for Andraven's murder. But then again, you always seem to prefer to leave me to
clean up the mess while you go gallivanting across the country."
"I said I was sorry, Scully. I made a mistake! We can't all be as perfect as
you, now can we?"
"Mulder, I can forgive. But I can't forget. What's the point of acknowledging
our mistakes if we don't attempt to learn from them? For over six years, we've
done the same dance, fallen into the same old patterns, time and again. But I
can't go on like this, turning a blind eye. I can't deal with not knowing where
you are or what you're doing, if you're alive or dead. I've had it, Mulder. I
refuse to do it anymore. I'm not your goddamned side-kick. If you can't treat me
as an equal, then I'd say there's no partnership left to speak of."
"Scully, I've always treated you as an equal."
"Bull-fucking-shit!" she spat. "I can't keep doing this, Mulder. I give and I
give and you take and you take. A partnership, a friendship, is a two-way
street. There has to be an even exchange."
"You're asking me to change who I am Scully. . . . I've tried but I don't always
succeed. If you want more, I have nothing left to give."
*If I want more. . . . Once upon a time, I did, Mulder. I wanted so much more
from you. But it seems you've just proven that I've been living in a fantasy
world.*
"You obviously don't think you need my help then," she said quietly. "So maybe
you'd be better off without me. I wouldn't want to hold you back."
"Your holding me back has saved me from going over the edge, Scully. You've been
my anchor, preventing me from going too far and taking that plunge into the deep
dark unknown. Your science has legitimized the work, made it respectable.
Together, we've brought attention to the X-Files, given it the notice, the
official attention it deserves. I can't believe how easily you're willing to
just walk away. . . ."
"Do you really think I want to leave? I've got just as much invested in the work
as you do, Mulder! I've lost just as much as you. I want the same answers you
do. But not at the cost of everything--and everyone--else."
"Scully, we are on the brink of finding proof to some of the underlying
questions of human existence. I'm making a difference Scully--not like those FBI
pencil pushers upstairs or all the little people doing their tiny insignificant
good deeds. I'm talking about grand conspiracies, things bigger than either of
us. You've seen it, Scully. You know what I'm talking about. How can you leave
our work unfinished?"
Scully nearly winced at the words. There was time when she thought that their
relationship was the most important thing in Mulder's life. But how could she
compare to a magnanimous lifequest? Who could possibly compete with a ghost?
"See, Mulder, that's exactly what I'm talking about: *You're* making a
difference. *You*. I guess my small, insignificant contributions don't factor
much into the grand scheme of things."
"You've changed, Scully. When did you become so selfish?"
"Me, selfish? *Me?!* When was the last time you've looked in the mirror, Mulder?
Or is that head or yours so big you can't see anything else past it?"
He was not about to let her change the subject. "Yes, you selfish. How could
anyone see what you've seen and not work to save us all? I thought you were
better than that. My personal life is a small price to pay if I can find my
answers."
"Mulder, I want those answers, too. But that's not all I want out of life. And I
certainly am not prepared to give mine up before I've even had the chance to
live it."
"Scully, those answers *are* life. The Consortium is involved with the visitors,
and they are involved in experiments on human beings. Remember, Scully? You were
one of those experiments."
This time, she did wince. "Do you think I've forgotten that, Mulder? I almost
died because of those experiments. I lost one child and the chance to ever have
other children because of those goddammed experiments. They may not have
succeeded in killing me with those fucking experiments, but they *have* stolen
my future from me."
Mulder stared at her as though she had dealt him a physical blow. Scully knew
that he blamed himself for all that happened to her, was well aware that
reminding him would only make the guilt stronger, the self-loathing more
extreme. But right now she was hurting, and she wanted to lash out, to make him
hurt as well. And she did not give a rat's ass if he never forgave himself.
"If I just sit back and follow you like a lost puppy, then before I know it, my
life's going to have passed me by," Scully explained. "And what will I have to
show for it?"
"How about life's ultimate truth and the satisfaction of possibly saving the
whole damned planet?"
"Dammit, Mulder, I don't want to be a martyr. There's more to life than the X-
Files."
"Scully . . . the X-Files *are* my life. I can't ever leave them. If I were a
different man. . . ." Mulder trailed off, uncharacteristically silent.
*And therein lies the problem,* she realized. "Maybe it's time I just cut my
losses and walked away--while there's still a life for me to live."
"Scully. . . ." Mulder softened his tone, realizing that their entire future
could very easily ride on his next words and her response. "Maybe you just need
some time off. Why don't you take a leave of absence for awhile? I don't want to
lose you. The X-Files need your help."
"Mulder, if we can't even work a case, if we can't even have a civil
conversation without screaming at one another, what makes you think we'll ever
be able to work together again?"
Mulder could feel her slipping through his fingers. Desperate, he said, "Ahab's
little Starbuck a quitter? If only he could see you now, Scully."
It was the wrong thing to say. He saw her eyes flare with anger, even as they
shone with wetness. He had mercilessly struck a nerve--raw even after all these
years. "He never wanted me to join the FBI in first place. Maybe he was right
all along. . . ."
Mulder looked at her steadily, as if he had never seen her before. Who was this
stranger standing before him? His pride prevented him from pleading with her any
further. If she would not allow herself to see the error of her ways, there was
nothing he would be able to say or do to change her mind. It seemed it might
already be too late.
"Maybe he was," he agreed softly.
Scully turned away. "I think it's time for us to move on," she said, retrieving
her windbreaker. "We need to find a way out of here."
Realizing there was nothing left to say, Mulder silently picked up the
flashlight.
And the couple moved through the darkness . . . together but alone.
End Chapter 6
*****
Author: Somogyi
Email: somogyi02@yahoo.com
Category: SRA
Rating: R for language, adult situations
Spoilers: Through Season Six
Keywords: M/S UST, S/Other Romance
Summary: Sequel to "Not the Doctor." Their partnership on shaky ground, Mulder
and Scully are called in to investigate the mysterious death of two teenagers in
a Hawaiian cave. While exploring the crime scene and its vicinity, they are
trapped by a cave-in. Will they be able to find their way out--without killing
each other first?
Disclaimer: The X-Files, Dana Scully, Fox Mulder, and all other characters
associated with the series are the property of Chris Carter, Ten-Thirteen
Productions, and the Fox Network. Characters are used without permission and no
profit is being made.
*****
Blessed Union of Souls II: Deep Water
by Somogyi
somogyi02@yahoo.com
Chapter 6
"Scully, wait!" Mulder called, running to catch up with her. If she got much
further ahead with the flashlight, he could easily take a bad step and hurt
himself. When he started out, he could still make out her retreating silhouette
in the beam of light. But after several yards, she ducked down and disappeared
through a small opening in the cave wall.
Cursing under his breath, Mulder crouched down sideways and squeezed himself
though the narrow passageway. Seeing the light around a bend in the path, he
gave chase. When he came around the turn, he nearly barreled into Scully, who
now stood perfectly still.
"What the hell's gotten into you, Scully?" he shouted. "You've got the only
light source, and you took off out of there like a bat out of--"
"Mulder, look!" she cut him off in a hushed tone. She was pointing straight
ahead. "Just look at it!"
Mulder's gaze followed her hand, and he felt his breath catch.
"Is that not the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"
"Pinch me, Scully. I want to make sure I'm not dreaming--and that's not a
mirage."
"That's no mirage, Mulder. That's an oasis."
Somewhere, water dripped, and in the eerie quiet of the caves, it sounded
preternaturally loud. Scully's attention, however, was focused on the sight of
the underground lake. Its smooth glass-like surface beckoned to her. Without
another word, Scully tucked the flashlight into the waistband of her jeans and
strode forward toward the water. As she approached, the dripping formed a sharp
staccato, creating a soothing melody that was punctuated only by the crunch of
her boots against the cooled lava under her feet.
Mulder quickly joined her at the foot of the lake and knelt down beside her.
Somewhere a faint breeze wafted by, tossing a tendril of Scully's hair across
her cheek. She reached down first, dipping her fingers into the cool water. They
watched, entranced, as the surface rippled around the small disturbance. Finding
the water refreshingly cool, Scully rinsed her hands the best she could. Next
she brought her hand to her nose and inhaled. The water had no odor. Then she
brought her fingers to her parched lips. No peculiar taste.
She looked over at Mulder, who had been watching her intently. Slowly, a smile
crept across her face, and she nodded okay.
Almost as one, they reached downward. Cupping the cool water in their hands,
they quickly drank mouthful after greedy mouthful. It was the first drink they
had had since Uncle Stu had shared his canteen with them shortly before the
cave-in. As hot and tired and dirty as they were right now, it tasted sweeter
than the very nectar of the gods.
When her thirst was finally satiated, Scully silently removed her soiled
windbreaker. Taking the towel from the pocket, she dunked it in the water and
wrung it out before bathing her face with the cool liquid. She sighed at how
refreshing it felt to her flushed skin. She used the cloth on her face, neck,
the area of her chest not covered by her v-necked tee-shirt, her arms. Before
long, she felt sufficiently cooled. She dipped the cloth again, and this time
took to scrubbing away the dirt and grime the best she could.
She turned to see what her partner was up to, and only then noticed the way he
was staring at her, enraptured. She blushed, embarrassed at being the focus of
his scrutiny.
Avoiding his gaze, she offered him the towel. "Your turn," she said, focusing on
the lake at her feet.
Mulder quickly pulled his own jacket off over his head. "Thanks," he replied,
taking the towel from her. As he started to clean himself off, Scully turned her
attention to trying to get the guano off of her windbreaker.
After many minutes of scrubbing, she realized it was about as clean as it was
going to get without the benefit of soap. Spying a large flat rock a few yards
away, Scully walked over to it and spread her jacket on the surface to dry.
Then, putting down the flashlight, she perched herself beside the jacket,
drawing her knees up to her chest and gazing out at the lake. After several
moments, she felt her eyelids growing heavy. Not having enough energy to fight
it, Scully folded her arms on her knees and lay her head on top, closing her
eyes.
"This seat taken?"
Scully looked up to see Mulder standing before her, hands shoved into his jeans
pockets. "All yours," she said, indicating the unoccupied portion of the rock on
the other side of her.
Mulder silently sat down beside her, clasping his hands between bent knees. He
followed her gaze out to the lake. "Quite a view, huh?"
"Sure is."
"Good idea of yours to stop here for a while, Scully. I think we both needed the
break."
"Mmm hmm." She felt her eyes beginning to close yet again. What she wanted more
than anything at that moment was to curl up on the rock and sleep for about
three days.
Mulder, it seemed, had other ideas.
"So. Scully."
Scully sighed. Obviously her partner was not going to let her take a quick
catnap after all.
"How'd it feel being back at Quantico?"
Interesting. While he was on leave, Mulder must have done some checking into
Scully's temporary reassignment. Did that mean he actually cared what she had
been doing these past two weeks? More likely he was concerned with how it
affected his precious X-Files. Well, it was time for Mulder to learn that she
did not need him in order to function as an effective agent--that her having a
successful career did not depend upon him or the X-Files.
"Like going home again," she replied nonchalantly.
"You've just been substituting for one of the regular profs?"
Was that a hint of uncertainty she detected in his voice?
"I accepted the teaching assignment as a favor to Dr. Craig, so that she could
go visit her mother, who's taken ill. But I've actually enjoyed my stint at
Quantico. It's been a welcome change of pace. I guess I've forgotten how
rewarding it is being an instructor."
"Thinking about taking up teaching again?" His tone was light, bordering on
boredom. But she could tell from his rigid posture that the answer to his
question mattered deeply to him.
"Perhaps. There's a lot to be said for sharing one's knowledge, and helping to
shape young minds. I've always found it very fulfilling."
"Still, it must get old pretty quickly. Don't you miss autopsying the odd
flukeman now and then?"
"Ah, but how often does one come across such an unusual case? Teaching these
kids, it's best to start with more recognizable specimens. It's similar to med
school--you start with basic anatomy before dealing with pathology."
"All the same, you must get bored. An experienced field agent like you, Scully,
with your well-trained scientific background, needs the challenge of the
unrecognizable oddities. . . . Admit it, I think they turn you on." Mulder gave
her a sly, teasing look.
Scully arched an eyebrow. "Oh yeah, nothing like a liver-eating mutant to get me
all hot and bothered," she said, planting her arms behind her on the rock and
leaning back on them in what she hoped to be a casual pose. "By the same token,
all this talk about Kahunas and angry cave spirits must have you in desperate
need of a cold shower," she retorted with a small grin.
"Cold showers are my specialty," Mulder replied as he deliberately fell over
backward into the pool of water with a loud *splash!*
"Mulder!" Scully gasped, his unannounced exit taking her completely by surprise.
Annoyed, she slowly shook her head, waiting for him to return so that she could
rebuke him for his sophomoric behavior.
When he did not resurface right away, however, she began to grow concerned.
"Mulder?" she called, kneeling on the rock. She peered over the edge, into the
lake at the spot where he had dove in. There was no sign of him. "Mulder!"
*Where the hell is he?* she wondered. *His luck, the lake is only a few feet
deep and he bashed his head in on an underwater rock. I really don't want to
have to go diving in after hi--*
"Bonsai!"
Scully's mind registered the warcry along with the sound of water smashing
against the rock, but she was not quick enough to react as Mulder broke the
surface behind her, grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her over the edge of
the rock and into the water with him.
She flailed about, coughing and sputtering, as she pushed away from him and
tried to keep her head above water.
"Cold showers and I are deep--" *splash* "--and trusted friends," he told her.
"Mulder!" she shouted, trying to wipe the water from her eyes. "What the hell
are you doing?"
"Relax, Scully. After your little turd tumble, this little bath'll do you some
good," she heard Mulder say a moment before she felt his arms snake around her
torso, trying to submerge her in the lake.
"Goddammit, Mulder! Let go of me!" she spat, struggling to get out of his grasp.
"Not until you say Uncle, Scully," he said, holding her tight.
"I said--*let go!*" she roared, clawing at his hands in an attempt to loosen his
hold on her.
"Not until you tell me you're not leaving the X-Files."
She managed to slip one of her arms free and she quickly thrust it backwards,
giving him a strong jab to the ribs with her elbow. "I wouldn't hold my breath
if I were you," she warned him.
Wounded more from her words than her blow, Mulder let her go. He felt the waves
of water lap against his sodden jacket as Scully pulled away from him and waded
toward the edge of the lake. Treading water, Mulder just stared at her as she
began to wring the water from her hair and t-shirt. For a long moment he stared
at her silhouette in the darkness. The silence became thunderous, roaring in his
ears. Soon, he could stand it no longer.
"Scully. . . ."
"Not another word, Mulder."
"But Scully--"
"I don't want to talk about this right now."
"When, then?" he asked as he followed her to dry land. "We're trapped alone in
an underground cave on what could very well be our last case. When would you
care to discuss it?"
"Never would be too soon."
"I can't believe you're going to let one stupid case come between us, Scully.
Especially after all we've been through. We've always worked well together. You
. . . center me, focus me, balance me. We make a great team. Always have. . . ."
His voice faded into a low murmur as Scully watched his form gesture in the
darkness through wet eyes. He was listing all the reasons--good logical reasons
why they made great partners. But logic was not what she wanted to hear right
now.
"You're always backing me up, covering for me," he continued.
"When you let me anyway," she reminded him, unable to hide the flare of jealousy
from her voice.
Mulder noticed her bitter tone, remembered it from their confrontation two weeks
ago. Surely, she had said then all that there was to say on the matter. Talk
about beating a dead horse. He could not believe that she was unwilling to let
this issue drop. Why couldn't she just just let it go? If the tables were
reversed, she would accuse him of being obsessed. Mulder felt his own anger
flare at Scully's double standards.
"Are you still upset over that detective, Scully?" he asked, his tone harsh.
"I'm your partner, you know--not your date."
Abruptly, Scully stiffened. *And to think I had thought of it as a dinner date.
God, what a fool I've been,* she thought, angrily berating herself for indulging
in naive schoolgirl fantasies.
Slowly, she rose until she stood completely straight, and squared her shoulders.
"Yes, Mulder, that's right. You're supposedly my partner. Which means when
you're following a lead for a case, I expect to be informed of your whereabouts.
As a friend, I didn't expect you to stand me up, to ditch me. I expect more from
you. Hell, I *deserve* more from you. But you obviously don't even respect me
enough to pick up your goddamned cell phone."
"I thought I already apologized for that, Scully. But, come on now, let's be
realistic adults here. I can't always be expected to drop you a note . . .
sometimes there isn't enough time."
"Mulder, you drove to the airport and took a flight to New York. There were
plenty of opportunities. You just couldn't be bothered to call me. I guess you
had other things on your mind."
"Sometimes the goddamned cell phone gets lost, Scully!" Mulder walked over to
her and towered over her in a tactic she had seen him use many-a-time to
interrogate suspects. "And sometimes circumstances don't lend themselves to cell
phone usage!"
She was not about to let him intimidate her. Crossing her arms, she stared up at
him and met his gaze with eyes that blazed in fury. "That's why God invented pay
phones, Mulder. As your partner, I should have been notified. I should have been
there, to back you up, to cover your ass. Instead, you left me to take the heat
for Andraven's murder. But then again, you always seem to prefer to leave me to
clean up the mess while you go gallivanting across the country."
"I said I was sorry, Scully. I made a mistake! We can't all be as perfect as
you, now can we?"
"Mulder, I can forgive. But I can't forget. What's the point of acknowledging
our mistakes if we don't attempt to learn from them? For over six years, we've
done the same dance, fallen into the same old patterns, time and again. But I
can't go on like this, turning a blind eye. I can't deal with not knowing where
you are or what you're doing, if you're alive or dead. I've had it, Mulder. I
refuse to do it anymore. I'm not your goddamned side-kick. If you can't treat me
as an equal, then I'd say there's no partnership left to speak of."
"Scully, I've always treated you as an equal."
"Bull-fucking-shit!" she spat. "I can't keep doing this, Mulder. I give and I
give and you take and you take. A partnership, a friendship, is a two-way
street. There has to be an even exchange."
"You're asking me to change who I am Scully. . . . I've tried but I don't always
succeed. If you want more, I have nothing left to give."
*If I want more. . . . Once upon a time, I did, Mulder. I wanted so much more
from you. But it seems you've just proven that I've been living in a fantasy
world.*
"You obviously don't think you need my help then," she said quietly. "So maybe
you'd be better off without me. I wouldn't want to hold you back."
"Your holding me back has saved me from going over the edge, Scully. You've been
my anchor, preventing me from going too far and taking that plunge into the deep
dark unknown. Your science has legitimized the work, made it respectable.
Together, we've brought attention to the X-Files, given it the notice, the
official attention it deserves. I can't believe how easily you're willing to
just walk away. . . ."
"Do you really think I want to leave? I've got just as much invested in the work
as you do, Mulder! I've lost just as much as you. I want the same answers you
do. But not at the cost of everything--and everyone--else."
"Scully, we are on the brink of finding proof to some of the underlying
questions of human existence. I'm making a difference Scully--not like those FBI
pencil pushers upstairs or all the little people doing their tiny insignificant
good deeds. I'm talking about grand conspiracies, things bigger than either of
us. You've seen it, Scully. You know what I'm talking about. How can you leave
our work unfinished?"
Scully nearly winced at the words. There was time when she thought that their
relationship was the most important thing in Mulder's life. But how could she
compare to a magnanimous lifequest? Who could possibly compete with a ghost?
"See, Mulder, that's exactly what I'm talking about: *You're* making a
difference. *You*. I guess my small, insignificant contributions don't factor
much into the grand scheme of things."
"You've changed, Scully. When did you become so selfish?"
"Me, selfish? *Me?!* When was the last time you've looked in the mirror, Mulder?
Or is that head or yours so big you can't see anything else past it?"
He was not about to let her change the subject. "Yes, you selfish. How could
anyone see what you've seen and not work to save us all? I thought you were
better than that. My personal life is a small price to pay if I can find my
answers."
"Mulder, I want those answers, too. But that's not all I want out of life. And I
certainly am not prepared to give mine up before I've even had the chance to
live it."
"Scully, those answers *are* life. The Consortium is involved with the visitors,
and they are involved in experiments on human beings. Remember, Scully? You were
one of those experiments."
This time, she did wince. "Do you think I've forgotten that, Mulder? I almost
died because of those experiments. I lost one child and the chance to ever have
other children because of those goddammed experiments. They may not have
succeeded in killing me with those fucking experiments, but they *have* stolen
my future from me."
Mulder stared at her as though she had dealt him a physical blow. Scully knew
that he blamed himself for all that happened to her, was well aware that
reminding him would only make the guilt stronger, the self-loathing more
extreme. But right now she was hurting, and she wanted to lash out, to make him
hurt as well. And she did not give a rat's ass if he never forgave himself.
"If I just sit back and follow you like a lost puppy, then before I know it, my
life's going to have passed me by," Scully explained. "And what will I have to
show for it?"
"How about life's ultimate truth and the satisfaction of possibly saving the
whole damned planet?"
"Dammit, Mulder, I don't want to be a martyr. There's more to life than the X-
Files."
"Scully . . . the X-Files *are* my life. I can't ever leave them. If I were a
different man. . . ." Mulder trailed off, uncharacteristically silent.
*And therein lies the problem,* she realized. "Maybe it's time I just cut my
losses and walked away--while there's still a life for me to live."
"Scully. . . ." Mulder softened his tone, realizing that their entire future
could very easily ride on his next words and her response. "Maybe you just need
some time off. Why don't you take a leave of absence for awhile? I don't want to
lose you. The X-Files need your help."
"Mulder, if we can't even work a case, if we can't even have a civil
conversation without screaming at one another, what makes you think we'll ever
be able to work together again?"
Mulder could feel her slipping through his fingers. Desperate, he said, "Ahab's
little Starbuck a quitter? If only he could see you now, Scully."
It was the wrong thing to say. He saw her eyes flare with anger, even as they
shone with wetness. He had mercilessly struck a nerve--raw even after all these
years. "He never wanted me to join the FBI in first place. Maybe he was right
all along. . . ."
Mulder looked at her steadily, as if he had never seen her before. Who was this
stranger standing before him? His pride prevented him from pleading with her any
further. If she would not allow herself to see the error of her ways, there was
nothing he would be able to say or do to change her mind. It seemed it might
already be too late.
"Maybe he was," he agreed softly.
Scully turned away. "I think it's time for us to move on," she said, retrieving
her windbreaker. "We need to find a way out of here."
Realizing there was nothing left to say, Mulder silently picked up the
flashlight.
And the couple moved through the darkness . . . together but alone.
End Chapter 6
*****