Love's Labor Multiplied: Chapter 11
By Pari
(see last chapter for disclaimer)
Warning: You might think this ending is a little sappy, but I liked it. So there. :)
The doors to Captain Janeway's ready room slid open, and Tom, Chakotay, and Janeway all turned to see....Janeway.
Stunned silence filled the room.
Chakotay blinked several times, then turned back to who he thought was his Kathryn Janeway just moments before...then jumped in startlement to see that the woman had disappeared into thin air.
"What?...You...he...," Chakotay said to neither Kathryn nor Tom in particular, looking from one to the other. Then he suddenly sat down on the chair behind him. He looked back at Tom, who shrugged his shoulders with an apologetic smile.
"Welcome to my world, Chakotay."
Chakotay looked to Kathryn and saw the same knowing and apologetic smile. Chakotay just shook his head. "I don't think I'm well."
"That makes two of us," said Tom, taking the couch beside him and expelling the breath he'd been holding ever since Chakotay walked in. 'What a roller coaster ride,' he thought, using one of the twentieth-century phrases he liked to coin in order to help himself relax.
Janeway recovered rather quickly, considering the fact that she had just been confronted with herself. She sat down between the two mean, giving Chakotay - clearly the most shaken out of the two - a little smile, and patting his knee.
"I take it you've had a brush with mine and Tom's little problem," she said. And Tom appreciated the way she called it *their* problem.
"What problem?" asked Chakotay.
"Q," Janeway and Tom answered synchronously.
And suddenly...with his trademark flash of light...the topic of their discussion appeared.
"In the flesh!," he exclaimed, then frowned. "Well, not really. But you know what I mean."
"Q!" Tom exclaimed, jumping up. Janeway put a restraining hand on his arm, yet stood beside him. Chakotay did the same.
"Q, this little game of yours has gone far enough," she said, in her most intimidating, I-am-captain voice. Paris almost smiled.
"Oh, Kathy, you do excite easily, don't you? Perhaps that's why you and Chuckles here get along so grandly."
Chakotay drew himself up, and Janeway glared holes through the omnipotent being. Paris merely shook his head. If Q weren't immortal, he would swear he was suicidal.
"Q, this stops here - right here, right now! I will not have you creating havoc on this ship and seriously damaging the reputations of my officers and myself..."
"Oh, Kathy!" Q said, looking heartbroken. "Kathy, I never meant to cause you any trouble!"
He suddenly disappeared and reappeared behind the Captain, putting his hands on her shoulders. He tried to lean in to speak to her on her right side...only to back away from a threatening look from Chakotay, then leaned towards the left, only to receive the same look from Paris. Both men had their arms crossed and menace in their eyes. A look at the Captain confirmed the same.
Finally Q threw his hands in the air with a frustrated sight.
"I swear, you humans are the most ungrateful, irrational beings I have ever encountered in my entire, eternity-long existence!" He faced the three of them, giving a highly exaggerated, mock impression of Chakotay's glower. The Commander lowered his arms and shook his head with a sigh. Dealing with Q was like dealing with a very small child. A very small, very un-cute child, Chakotay thought. And Q gasped in comical indignation.
"Commander Chakotay! I am deeply wounded!"
"And well you should be, Q," Janeway interjected. "I will not allow you to harass Mr. Paris any longer."
"Harass?! I wasn't *harassing* anybody. I was just here to help a good friend out..."
"Uh-huh," Tom said, dryly, and Q scowled.
"Until said *friend*," Q said, emphasizing the last word, "botched the whole thing with his impression of a trapeze artist with a fear of heights! You were so skittish you practically scared those two poor crewmen out of their regulation Starfleet uniforms!"
Q sighed, with exaggerated patience. "In fact, if it wasn't for some clever improvisations on my part, the whole endeavor would have been a complete waste of my time."
A chill seemed to spread through the room for Tom. "What do you mean, 'clever improvisations'?" he asked.
"Yes, what?" Janeway echoed, looking wary.
"Well, what did you expect me to do?" Q demanded, recognizing Janeway's expression. "Ole helmboy over there wasn't being of much help. So I had to make...other arrangements."
"Q..." Chakotay began, but now Q was smiling, rubbing his hands together like an excited child proud of a new toy.
"Oh, it was brilliant! Just brilliant! I arranged a little performance in that resort program the crew loves so much. I call it 'Alternate-Universe Tommy-boy and the Delaney Sisters'..."
Tom sat back down on the couch with a thud. "Oh God!" he said, and Janeway sat beside him, a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Q..." she began.
Q was still smiling, shaking his head with remembered genius. "It was quite entertaining, if I do say so myself. You know, you really *have* to have a hot tub to appreciate the truly special qualities of a set of twins..."
"Q!"
"Who saw?" Tom asked, shakily.
"Ohhhh, noone, really. Well, except for a few crewmen here and there. And Neelix, of course. I do say, Kathy, don't you ever let your little pet out of his box? It's always either the resort or the messhall...resort or messhall. Can't you put him in astrometrics or engineering or a torpedo tube, or something?"
"Q..."
"Oh, and there were those two crewmen. You should have seen them!" Q laughed, and Tom shook his head in his hands. "They were practically shaking in those repugnant Hawaiian shirts that seem to be so popular with this crew...oh, and I guess there were a few officers there from Engineering..."
Tom's head came up at that one. Engineering...He was a dead man - plain and simple. He was so dead, even his afterlife was over.
"Oh, and there was that other person..." Q said, staring down at the carpet as though amazed at its pattern as he kicked at it with the toe of his boot. "B'Elanna was there," he muttered, barely audible.
"What!" Tom shot off the couch as though propelled going straight for Q...and ending up flat on his back in a flash of light.
Tom sat up, shaking his head to clear it. Janeway and Chakotay ran to his side.
"Q, don't you have anything better to do than to mess with people's lives?" asked Chakotay, angrily.
"Hey, I didn't plan *that* little detail, believe me. Those engineering-types are just so unpredictable..."
"Q, I have had enough. I want your word right now that this will be the last of these little incidents, do you understand?" That comforting hand was on Paris' shoulder again. 'Just like a mother bear protecting her cub' Q thought snidely, and then 'Or maybe not quite like that.'
"Do you understand me?" she repeated, and Q relented with a sigh.
"Alright, alright already. I suppose it's all over anyways, now that Tom's let you two in on the secret and spoiled the fun." He feigned a pouty expression in Tom's direction, and his tone of voice was a comical exaggeration of an 'I-told-you-so'. "You just remember that the next time you need a good set of alternate-universe look-a-likes to drag your reputation out of the mud."
Tom was not amused.
"Well, I guess my work is done here, now. Give my regards to the little woman." And just like that, Q snapped his fingers and was gone.
Janeway sat back on her haunches and sighed.
"Thank God it's over," Tom said, massaging his neck with one hand.
"Do I want to know the whole story?" Chakotay asked as the three rose.
"No!" both Janeway and Paris responded simultaneously. And Chakotay frowned, thinking that they did that a little too often.
Then the ready room doors opened, and B'Elanna walked in.
Tom startled, and immediately jumped behind the Captain, holding her in front of him like a shield. Janeway rolled her eyes, and Chakotay raised an amused brow.
"Tom Paris," B'Elanna was saying, somberly, "You and I...are going to talk."
Janeway held up a hand. "Now, B'Elanna..."
But to everyone's surprise, Tom's most of all, B'Elanna just smiled.
"It's okay, Captain. Just a little talk, really." Tom blinked. She wasn't going to maim him? Then B'Elanna threw a big smile his direction. "We can even talk here if you'd like, honey." Honey? Tom swallowed. Yep, she was definitely going to maim him. At least.
The Captain and Commander looked skeptical and glanced at Tom, but he - resigned to his fate - just nodded.
"Alright then, Lieutenant. You can use the room for your...discussion." Then she and Chakotay left...but not before she threw a look to Tom that seemed to say 'I'm right outside on the bridge', and Tom nodded in appreciation. Yeah, she was on the bridge...Tuvok was on the bridge...he was safe. Right?
B'Elanna took a step forward...and Tom took a step back. She just smiled and sat down on the couch, patting the spot beside her. Warily, Tom joined her.
"Tom, I was just thinking...," she took Tom's hand in hers, smiling, and still he watched her with apprehension. "I was just thinking about all the really, *really* stupid things a person could do, and you know, I was thinking..." she leaned in, inches from Tom's face, and her voice got lower. Her smile disappeared. "...that pissing off a pregnant Klingon has got to be the worst."
And then...she glared at him. Tom didn't move.
"Help," he squeaked.
**** **** **** ****
That night, Tom lay in bed thinking that life was good. B'Elanna was snuggled up next to him, her head pillowed on his chest. The arm beneath her was wrapped around her shoulders, and he slowly ran his fingers through her hair and traced the ridges on her lovely forehead. They were bundled up beneath layers of blankets, and nothing else.
"You know, I was thinking, 'Lanna," he began.
"Hmm?"
"Q's little antics today were horrible..."
"Tell me about it."
"But I guess I kind of learned something from it."
"Oh?" she said, looking up at him with curiosity.
"Yeah, you know. Here was this other Seven, and she was beautiful and innocently charming...and then there was Kes, and, well, you know how I thought I was in love with her once..."
"Yesss..." B'Elanna said, waiting for more. She raised up on an elbow now, preparing to glower, not knowing if she liked where this was going.
"...and then there was the Captain, and we have so much in common, really."
"Uh-huh." Nope. Didn't like it at all.
"Well, I was thinking how lucky all those other *me*s are, and I guess I'm the luckiest...because I have you." Tom wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her brow.
B'Elanna blinked in surprise.
"I guess Q's little tricks reminded me to think about it."
Soon, B'Elanna smiled, and relaxed back against him.
"Me, too," she confessed, thinking of that resort program and a hot tub. And of Seven... Then she playfully nipped at Tom's shoulder, kissing her teeth marks afterwards.
"Although...," Tom was saying. "You really ought to see Seven in a yellow dress..."
"Why you...!" B'Elanna shot up, and Tom laughed as she poked him in the ribs. And the two played and laughed....
Unseen nearby, Q smiled a humble, knowing smile. "Not a total waste of my time," he whispered...and was gone.
By Pari
(see last chapter for disclaimer)
Warning: You might think this ending is a little sappy, but I liked it. So there. :)
The doors to Captain Janeway's ready room slid open, and Tom, Chakotay, and Janeway all turned to see....Janeway.
Stunned silence filled the room.
Chakotay blinked several times, then turned back to who he thought was his Kathryn Janeway just moments before...then jumped in startlement to see that the woman had disappeared into thin air.
"What?...You...he...," Chakotay said to neither Kathryn nor Tom in particular, looking from one to the other. Then he suddenly sat down on the chair behind him. He looked back at Tom, who shrugged his shoulders with an apologetic smile.
"Welcome to my world, Chakotay."
Chakotay looked to Kathryn and saw the same knowing and apologetic smile. Chakotay just shook his head. "I don't think I'm well."
"That makes two of us," said Tom, taking the couch beside him and expelling the breath he'd been holding ever since Chakotay walked in. 'What a roller coaster ride,' he thought, using one of the twentieth-century phrases he liked to coin in order to help himself relax.
Janeway recovered rather quickly, considering the fact that she had just been confronted with herself. She sat down between the two mean, giving Chakotay - clearly the most shaken out of the two - a little smile, and patting his knee.
"I take it you've had a brush with mine and Tom's little problem," she said. And Tom appreciated the way she called it *their* problem.
"What problem?" asked Chakotay.
"Q," Janeway and Tom answered synchronously.
And suddenly...with his trademark flash of light...the topic of their discussion appeared.
"In the flesh!," he exclaimed, then frowned. "Well, not really. But you know what I mean."
"Q!" Tom exclaimed, jumping up. Janeway put a restraining hand on his arm, yet stood beside him. Chakotay did the same.
"Q, this little game of yours has gone far enough," she said, in her most intimidating, I-am-captain voice. Paris almost smiled.
"Oh, Kathy, you do excite easily, don't you? Perhaps that's why you and Chuckles here get along so grandly."
Chakotay drew himself up, and Janeway glared holes through the omnipotent being. Paris merely shook his head. If Q weren't immortal, he would swear he was suicidal.
"Q, this stops here - right here, right now! I will not have you creating havoc on this ship and seriously damaging the reputations of my officers and myself..."
"Oh, Kathy!" Q said, looking heartbroken. "Kathy, I never meant to cause you any trouble!"
He suddenly disappeared and reappeared behind the Captain, putting his hands on her shoulders. He tried to lean in to speak to her on her right side...only to back away from a threatening look from Chakotay, then leaned towards the left, only to receive the same look from Paris. Both men had their arms crossed and menace in their eyes. A look at the Captain confirmed the same.
Finally Q threw his hands in the air with a frustrated sight.
"I swear, you humans are the most ungrateful, irrational beings I have ever encountered in my entire, eternity-long existence!" He faced the three of them, giving a highly exaggerated, mock impression of Chakotay's glower. The Commander lowered his arms and shook his head with a sigh. Dealing with Q was like dealing with a very small child. A very small, very un-cute child, Chakotay thought. And Q gasped in comical indignation.
"Commander Chakotay! I am deeply wounded!"
"And well you should be, Q," Janeway interjected. "I will not allow you to harass Mr. Paris any longer."
"Harass?! I wasn't *harassing* anybody. I was just here to help a good friend out..."
"Uh-huh," Tom said, dryly, and Q scowled.
"Until said *friend*," Q said, emphasizing the last word, "botched the whole thing with his impression of a trapeze artist with a fear of heights! You were so skittish you practically scared those two poor crewmen out of their regulation Starfleet uniforms!"
Q sighed, with exaggerated patience. "In fact, if it wasn't for some clever improvisations on my part, the whole endeavor would have been a complete waste of my time."
A chill seemed to spread through the room for Tom. "What do you mean, 'clever improvisations'?" he asked.
"Yes, what?" Janeway echoed, looking wary.
"Well, what did you expect me to do?" Q demanded, recognizing Janeway's expression. "Ole helmboy over there wasn't being of much help. So I had to make...other arrangements."
"Q..." Chakotay began, but now Q was smiling, rubbing his hands together like an excited child proud of a new toy.
"Oh, it was brilliant! Just brilliant! I arranged a little performance in that resort program the crew loves so much. I call it 'Alternate-Universe Tommy-boy and the Delaney Sisters'..."
Tom sat back down on the couch with a thud. "Oh God!" he said, and Janeway sat beside him, a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Q..." she began.
Q was still smiling, shaking his head with remembered genius. "It was quite entertaining, if I do say so myself. You know, you really *have* to have a hot tub to appreciate the truly special qualities of a set of twins..."
"Q!"
"Who saw?" Tom asked, shakily.
"Ohhhh, noone, really. Well, except for a few crewmen here and there. And Neelix, of course. I do say, Kathy, don't you ever let your little pet out of his box? It's always either the resort or the messhall...resort or messhall. Can't you put him in astrometrics or engineering or a torpedo tube, or something?"
"Q..."
"Oh, and there were those two crewmen. You should have seen them!" Q laughed, and Tom shook his head in his hands. "They were practically shaking in those repugnant Hawaiian shirts that seem to be so popular with this crew...oh, and I guess there were a few officers there from Engineering..."
Tom's head came up at that one. Engineering...He was a dead man - plain and simple. He was so dead, even his afterlife was over.
"Oh, and there was that other person..." Q said, staring down at the carpet as though amazed at its pattern as he kicked at it with the toe of his boot. "B'Elanna was there," he muttered, barely audible.
"What!" Tom shot off the couch as though propelled going straight for Q...and ending up flat on his back in a flash of light.
Tom sat up, shaking his head to clear it. Janeway and Chakotay ran to his side.
"Q, don't you have anything better to do than to mess with people's lives?" asked Chakotay, angrily.
"Hey, I didn't plan *that* little detail, believe me. Those engineering-types are just so unpredictable..."
"Q, I have had enough. I want your word right now that this will be the last of these little incidents, do you understand?" That comforting hand was on Paris' shoulder again. 'Just like a mother bear protecting her cub' Q thought snidely, and then 'Or maybe not quite like that.'
"Do you understand me?" she repeated, and Q relented with a sigh.
"Alright, alright already. I suppose it's all over anyways, now that Tom's let you two in on the secret and spoiled the fun." He feigned a pouty expression in Tom's direction, and his tone of voice was a comical exaggeration of an 'I-told-you-so'. "You just remember that the next time you need a good set of alternate-universe look-a-likes to drag your reputation out of the mud."
Tom was not amused.
"Well, I guess my work is done here, now. Give my regards to the little woman." And just like that, Q snapped his fingers and was gone.
Janeway sat back on her haunches and sighed.
"Thank God it's over," Tom said, massaging his neck with one hand.
"Do I want to know the whole story?" Chakotay asked as the three rose.
"No!" both Janeway and Paris responded simultaneously. And Chakotay frowned, thinking that they did that a little too often.
Then the ready room doors opened, and B'Elanna walked in.
Tom startled, and immediately jumped behind the Captain, holding her in front of him like a shield. Janeway rolled her eyes, and Chakotay raised an amused brow.
"Tom Paris," B'Elanna was saying, somberly, "You and I...are going to talk."
Janeway held up a hand. "Now, B'Elanna..."
But to everyone's surprise, Tom's most of all, B'Elanna just smiled.
"It's okay, Captain. Just a little talk, really." Tom blinked. She wasn't going to maim him? Then B'Elanna threw a big smile his direction. "We can even talk here if you'd like, honey." Honey? Tom swallowed. Yep, she was definitely going to maim him. At least.
The Captain and Commander looked skeptical and glanced at Tom, but he - resigned to his fate - just nodded.
"Alright then, Lieutenant. You can use the room for your...discussion." Then she and Chakotay left...but not before she threw a look to Tom that seemed to say 'I'm right outside on the bridge', and Tom nodded in appreciation. Yeah, she was on the bridge...Tuvok was on the bridge...he was safe. Right?
B'Elanna took a step forward...and Tom took a step back. She just smiled and sat down on the couch, patting the spot beside her. Warily, Tom joined her.
"Tom, I was just thinking...," she took Tom's hand in hers, smiling, and still he watched her with apprehension. "I was just thinking about all the really, *really* stupid things a person could do, and you know, I was thinking..." she leaned in, inches from Tom's face, and her voice got lower. Her smile disappeared. "...that pissing off a pregnant Klingon has got to be the worst."
And then...she glared at him. Tom didn't move.
"Help," he squeaked.
**** **** **** ****
That night, Tom lay in bed thinking that life was good. B'Elanna was snuggled up next to him, her head pillowed on his chest. The arm beneath her was wrapped around her shoulders, and he slowly ran his fingers through her hair and traced the ridges on her lovely forehead. They were bundled up beneath layers of blankets, and nothing else.
"You know, I was thinking, 'Lanna," he began.
"Hmm?"
"Q's little antics today were horrible..."
"Tell me about it."
"But I guess I kind of learned something from it."
"Oh?" she said, looking up at him with curiosity.
"Yeah, you know. Here was this other Seven, and she was beautiful and innocently charming...and then there was Kes, and, well, you know how I thought I was in love with her once..."
"Yesss..." B'Elanna said, waiting for more. She raised up on an elbow now, preparing to glower, not knowing if she liked where this was going.
"...and then there was the Captain, and we have so much in common, really."
"Uh-huh." Nope. Didn't like it at all.
"Well, I was thinking how lucky all those other *me*s are, and I guess I'm the luckiest...because I have you." Tom wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her brow.
B'Elanna blinked in surprise.
"I guess Q's little tricks reminded me to think about it."
Soon, B'Elanna smiled, and relaxed back against him.
"Me, too," she confessed, thinking of that resort program and a hot tub. And of Seven... Then she playfully nipped at Tom's shoulder, kissing her teeth marks afterwards.
"Although...," Tom was saying. "You really ought to see Seven in a yellow dress..."
"Why you...!" B'Elanna shot up, and Tom laughed as she poked him in the ribs. And the two played and laughed....
Unseen nearby, Q smiled a humble, knowing smile. "Not a total waste of my time," he whispered...and was gone.