Fantasy 9 Survivor
(Note: Yes, before you start ranting, I know this has been done before, but I was planning on doing it too, and I didn't wanna waste my idea... If you like this story, please review it, kay? If I get at least 5 reviews, I'll do chapter two... Thanks! Oh, and those interview shots will be in
A small airship flies overhead two small islands. The islands are quite beautiful in their own way, with lush palm trees, hot white sand, and bright aquamarine water surrounding it. The camera cuts to inside the airship, showing Mythakazu peering out the window, microphone in hand.
Myth: Welcome! *turns away from the window* I'm Mythakazu, your hostess for Fantasy 9 Surivor, where we pit some of the cast from Final Fantasy Nine against each other in an attempt to Outwit, Outplay, and ultimately, Outlast!
Suddenly, a few bullets come whizzing past Mythakazu, and out the other side of the airship, where we can see 16 characters from FF9 sitting there, waiting.
Myth: Hey! Who did that?
She peeks out the window, and sees a few guys in a helicopter with the survivor logo on it holding guns.
Guy: Hey! This Survivor parody isn't officially licensed! Don't use our motto, or else!
Guy2: Whoooo! Kamikaze! Muahahahahaha!
The helicopter suddenly plummets downward, makes a sharp turn and explodes.
Myth: Er... Anyway, here we have sixteen castaways from Fantasy nine! They have been told that no socializing his permitted...
All: Blah blah blah bla- *they see Myth's angry face, and shut up*
Myth: That's better... Anyway, it's not permitted until they reach the island. We've taken a liberty of dropping a crate of supplies per each tribe on that iiiitttyyy biittyyy island in the middle of the two main ones, where someone will have to swim, fly, jump, or anything they can think of out there to retrieve it! They have five minutes to get everything! Now, let's discuss the tribes and the contestants!
The Keraneko Tribe – Teal
Zidane
Black Waltz No2
Eiko
(Queen)Brahne
Freya
Beatrix
Mog
Black Waltz No1
The Terrawani Tribe – Saffron
Kuja
Garnet/Dagger
Vivi
Black Waltz No3
Steiner
Mikoto
Amarant
Quina
Zidane: Hey, I like those names! Do they have some historical or spiritual connection to the islands?
Myth: No. I just drew letters from a hat and re arranged them as I liked. And didn't I say no talking?
Zidane: Oh... Um...
Mog: Ayyiieee! We get a tribe with Brahne, kupo? Noooooo....
Mikoto: Just where 'IS' Brahne, anyway?
Myth: Well... Although I told you to shut yer traps... We had to... Um... Get another airship for that...
Camera cuts to an airship which is struggling to get over to the island and crash lands into one. The original airship, with 15 contestants in it, arrives on the Keraneko island, and dumps the corresponding characters off there. (Myth kicked the ones who talked off the airship) Then they do the same for the next island, Terrawani.
Myth: Now! You can socialize all you want! But I recommend getting the crates first! See ya on day three!
The airships, one slightly mangled and dented from Brahne, leave.
Keraneko Tribe: Day One
Zidane: Okay, guys... Now who's gonna go get the crate?
BWNo1: I think one of us Waltzes should get it, we can fly...
Freya: I can get it, I can jump far!
Mog: I get it, Kupo!... Although I don't know how I can carry it back...
Zidane: Allrighty then! I'll go! You guys find a spot to camp!
Zidane dives into the water and starts swimming for the island. He's going pretty fast, though, because he's using that tail of his for a propeller.
Eiko: Good luck, Ziddy-widdy! Hee hee... I- HEY! Our flag!
Camera cuts to Brahne, chewing on the Keraneko flag.
Brahne: Chocolate... Need.. Chocolate...
Eiko – Lady in Training: I like Zidane, he's always looking out for everyone! But even though I like him so much, methinks he's making a bad first impression on these guys. On the other hand, I feel that Brahne is a real burden on our tribe, so she might be the first to go. But she would provide a good shield from the rain and wind... Hee hee hee!
Zidane arrives where the two crates are located, and notices Black Waltz No3 flying towards Terrawani's saffron colored crate, while Zidane grabs the Teal Keraneko one.
BWNo3: Urrg... Shoot! This thing's too heavy for me to fly with! I guess I'm gonna have to swim back... *jumps in the water and tries pushing it back* Wait... Drat, I can't swim!... And now my wings are too wet to fly... Problem.
Zidane shrugs as Three remains there, hanging onto the crate.
Zidane: Eh, they'll rescue him some time.
Terrawani Tribe: Day one
Dagger: Where the heck is Three? He should be back now!
Quina: Maybe Three stay with crate so he can eat all the yummy yummys! NOOOOO!
Just then Kuja comes running in, with a cheap makeshift grass skirt made of random ferns.
Kuja: Whoooooo! Lookit meeeh! Lookit meeeh! *starts doing a bad hula dance* Alo ha hoooyyy, alo ha hooyyyy... Da da, da dah da dah da daahhh...
Vivi: M-my eyes... My e-eyes.... *cowers underneath his hat*
Steiner: This is going to be a looooong day.
Mikoto: Get used to it, mister. We're supposed to spend a looooot more days here...
Amarant: That does it! Although I'm too cool for the job...
All: *cough*yahright*cough*
Amarant: ... I will personally swim out there and see why the heck Three is taking so long!
Dagger: But I thought only one of us could go!
Amarant: Well screw that, I say! I'm going!... Even though I'm 'way' too cool for the job!
Amarant then jumps in the water and swims out towards Three, now floating on top of the crate.
Black Waltz No3 – Exists only to Kill: I hope this crate incident won't mean anything if we have to go to Tribal council on day three. Everyone made excuses why they shouldn't go out here, and I was the only one who didn't come up with anything. Sheesh, 'I'm too cool for the job...' says Amarant. Too cool my foot! If he was so cool, he'd come out here and... rescue... me... Uh... I'll get back to you on that, camera guy.
Amarant: Yo! Waltz dude! What the heck are you doing, sitting out here?
BWNo3: The crate was too heavy for me to fly back with it! And I can't swim back! Geez, why couldn't they send someone else? *starts using his hand to imitate Amarant* I'm too cool for the job! or You should send Three instead of me, because I don't want to do all the work for you wimps! and then there was...
Amarant: Hmph! See if I rescue you again! *swims back to shore with the crate, and leaves Three behind*
BWNo3: And then... Amarant? HEY! WAIT! NO! *flails his arms wildly in the air* Don't leave meeeeeee! HELP!
Keraneko Tribe: Day two
It appears that the Keraneko tribe has made a plausible shelter, by using some rope from the supply crate and tying some palm trees together to make a roof, and laying out some wood, mud, and leaves over the sides to make walls. A tarp is on the ground underneath for matting. The camera then cuts to deep inside the island's jungle, where Beatrix and her two accomplices are... Well, supposedly searching for food.
Beatrix: *is trampling through the jungle with Black Waltz No2 and Eiko behind her, slashing bushes out of the way with her sword* Ahhh.. I'm glad I brought this for a luxury item! I love to slash things! Muahahahaha!
Eiko: You know, Beatrix, you could just push the leaves out of the way, like me and Mister Two are doing...
Beatrix: Quiet, kid! Can't you see I'm trying to do a vast jungle exploration here?
BWNo2: I thought we were just getting berries and fruit and stuff...
Eiko: *whispers* Don't worry... If worse comes to worse, I spotted a banana tree near our camp site...
Meanwhile, back at the camp ground...
Zidane: Ahhhh... Bliss! I found a banana tree, and now I can keep the whole thing to myself 'cause only I know where it is! Yay! *starts rabidly munching on a banana, swishing his tail happily*
Freya: *walks by Zidane* Zidane! Ha! I always thought you looked like a monkey, but this is ridiculous! I wonder how the heck Dagger can go for you like this! HA!...
Zidane: Whew! She didn't question where I got the banana from!
Freya: I didn't question where he got the banana from! The tribe needs food and... Aw, heck with it, I'm too lazy. Why am I talking to myself? What is the square route of 34674987234698430249865827455? What is the meaning of life?
Freya walks off, and starts banging her head into a coconut tree for no reason.
Zidane: *muffled, 'cause of the banana* I'm not even gonna ask...
On another part of the Keraneko beach...
Brahne: Faster, you two! I'm starting to dehydrate! Go go go!
Brahne is sitting around on the beach in an extra large lounge chair (obviously her luxury item) and being fanned by the rather annoyed looking Black Waltz No1 and Mog the Moogle.
Brahne – Fat Pig: Honestly, I wish those two would work harder to help their queen! After all, I rule supreme over everyone! I wish Steiner was in this tribe, since he's one of my knights! He'd certainly show respect to me, and I... *glances at the camera lens* Hey, is that a donut? Mmmmm.... *Brahne tries to pry the lens off and the camera goes to static*
Terrawani Tribe: Day two
After the camera quickly scans the beach area, you can see Kuja trying to entertain everyone by doing a cheap hula dance. Dagger is shuddering at the sight of him, while Vivi just keeps his hat pulled low over his eyes. You can see Steiner and Three on the side (I guess someone went to get him...) trying to finish up their shelter, which is made mostly out of wood and palm leaves. Mikoto is sitting next to them, chewing on a stick. She seems to be drooling a lot since it leaves a bunch of splinters in her mouth. Amarant is playing with a toy boat he made out of sticks and leaves in the puddle of drool below her mouth.
Amarant: Hey! Mika, Miko, what's yer face... Watch where you're drooling!
Mikoto: *chompchomp* Whaat? Ah ckant eshakly contwol where ihm dwooling...
Amarant: *watches a few drops of drool land in his boat, sinking it* NOOOO! The S.S. Cool Dude!
Dagger: You guys! Cut it out!... Drat, I need a fire... We can't cook this rice they gave us without one!
Quina: You mean no yummy yummies? WHAT?
Dagger: Oh, shush!
Kuja: Oooh! Oooh! I know what we can do with the rice!
Dagger: And that is?
Kuja: *takes two grains of rice* We can play tiddlywinks! *tries to play, but the rice snaps in half* Dang!
Dagger: Look, I just need a fire! Since Three is busy... Vivi, can you do me a favor?
Vivi: Only if Kuja turns his back...
Kuja: Fine! *turns away*
Vivi: Alright, what d-do you need?
Dagger: I need you to make us a fire so we can cook rice!
Vivi: Okay! F-fiag-
A giant cow suddenly falls out of the sky and lands right next to Vivi.
Voice: Vivi! That was a warning shot! I forgot to mention that no magic is allowed! I better go tell the Waltzes about this...
Quina: YAY! Giant yummy yummy fell from sky!
Cow: Moo. *grows wings and flies away*
Quina: Awww... Smushle..
Steiner: There! The shelter is one hundred percent done!
BWNo3: Finally! This thing's fool proof!
Mikoto: I'm all out of stick! *grabs a stick from the shelter and it collapses to the ground*
Steiner and Three: But we forgot Mikoto proof... *they both fall over*
Mikoto – Resident Weirdo: I ckant shee vie they dhunt kwanna tlalk to meeh... Jhust 'cause I have thish dwooling problem... I hope I'm nhot shiere nexht target...
Vivi – Quiet Mage: I was r-really hoping that m-my magic would b-be able to make me an i-important member of the t-tribe... But n-now that I've found out that no m-magic is allowed, I wonder how l-long I'm going to remain here. I'm klutzy.. I'm r-really shy and quiet.. and usually I k-keep to myself. I'm desperately hoping that m-my friends in the Terrawani tribe here u-understand that and won't p-pick on me. I m-might consider talking to Dagger about forming an a-alliance...
Keraneko Tribe: Day Two (Nighttime)
Everyone is lying in the shelter, chatting. Well, except for Brahne, she was confined to night watch... Actually, it was just an excuse because she would take up half the shelter.
Zidane: I'm bored... Anyone know any good jokes? Stories? C'mon, people!
Beatrix: Well, I know one about-
Zidane: Yawn, boring...
Eiko: How about the one with the chi-
Zidane: Uh huh, sure Eiko... Yeah yeah...
Black WaltzNo2 – Strangely dressed Waltz: I think Zidane's really pushing us all to our limits here... Maybe he's still hyped up about saving all of Gaia. I dunno. I'm sure he does know that we're playing to survive out here, and there comes a time when you have to stab your best friends in the back when it comes the council.. But we don't have to worry about that until later in the game. I say we get rid of the people we don't like now. And I say we get rid of Zidane.
Black WaltzNo1 – Bell Ringer: I've heard rumors that some people here want Zidane out, but I say otherwise. It's Brahne who I don't like. She's annoying, demanding, lazy, and takes up waaayyyy to much of the beach for my liking. It's not for whom the bell tolls... *rings his bell* The bell tolls for Brahne.
Mog: Zidane, why don't you tell us something, kupo?
Beatrix: Yeah, like why signed up for this.
Zidane: Well... I didn't really sign up... *reaches into his pocket and brings out a draft notice*
Eiko: You got one too?
BWNo2: And me...
Everyone shows his or her draft notices.
BWNo1: Why don't we all show what we brought for a luxury item? I brought an umbrella.
Eiko: But if it rains, you could just cover yourself up with your wings, right?
BWNo2: Eh, they're not totally waterproof... I brought one too.
Eiko: Oh... I brought a blanket to sleep under.
Mog: I have a pom pom warmer *points to something that looks almost like a tea cozy around his pom pom thingy*
Zidane: I brought my Dagger plushie!
Beatrix: A sword doll?
Zidane: Noooo... *holds up a doll of Garnet/Dagger* See?
Eiko: *mumbles* Drat, I shoulda brought my Zidane plushie.. Ah well, I have the real thing!
Beatrix: Oh... I brought a sword. Cut slash and hack! Muahahahaha!
Freya: I brought my jumping boots.
Eiko: Uh...
Freya: They're boots with springs in them so I can jump even higher!
Zidane: Pfftt... Like you NEED to.
Freya – Rat Like Freak: Seriously, he can laugh at my outfit, call me a rat... Well, maybe not that, but anyway.. Nobody doubts my jumping ability! And... HEY! Why is my description 'Rat Like Freak'?!? Why you little –BLEEEEEEEEP-....
Terrawani Tribe: Day Three
The tribe seems to be sleeping peacefully in a new shelter that they all built. Everyone but Mikoto, who the kicked out and made her sleep in a tree. Well, there WAS a tree.. Guess she ate it. Dagger, Vivi and Three seem to be up already, however. They're walking away from the shelter to a tree with the sign reading 'CHALLENGES' hanging over it. A bag was tied to the tree, and Dagger pulled out a scroll from the bag.
BWNo3: What does it say? What does it say?
Dagger: Let's see... *reads* Your friends are all trapped, by beasts big and small. The one left has to find them, seven in all. Lock yourself together, it takes less than a minute. Head back once you've found all your friends, you can win it!
Vivi: B-beasts? I don't l-like that...
BWNo3: Well, it's obvious that seven out of eight people in this tribe are going to have to be taken 'captive' by these so called beasts. The one left has to go find them!
Dagger: Simple enough, but who should go?
Vivi: Not me... A-anyone but me...
BWNo3: I think it should be the person with the keenest sense of sight. And a good sense of direction is good.
Dagger: Let's see... That leaves out Amarant, Mikoto, Steiner...
Vivi: I can understand the first two, b-but why Steiner?
Dagger: That heavy, rusty armor probably will make it tough for him to move quickly. C'mon, let's go back to the tribe and argue about it there.
Vivi: W-wait, guys... I need to ask you something...
They all get in a huddle, and you can't hear what they're talking about.
Keraneko Tribe: Day Three
It appears that this tribe has found the challenge notice as well, and they're arguing over it.
Zidane: I say I should go! I'm fast, swift, daring-
Eiko: I think Beatrix should go, she looks up to it!
Beatrix just smirks as Zidane hangs his head, dejected in the background.
Zidane – Monkey Boy: I don't see why they refuse to believe in my abilities! I already saved the world, and I got the crate back in record time! What do they dislike about me? Am I not cute enough? Nah, Eiko wouldn't allow that. I charm all the ladies! Heh heh... Hey! Get back here with that camera! I'm not finis-
Brahne: When the challenge starts, make sure you hurry up and save me from those beasts! If they lay a hand on my royal body...
Eiko: *under her breath* I don't think those beasts would wanna touch you. I wouldn't touch you for a million bucks! Besides, if I win this, I won't have to!
Myth: Actually, with all the taxes and stuff, it won't be that exact amount...
Eiko: I... Huh? What are you doing here?
Myth: The challenge is about to start! See that island over there, about a fifth of a mile away? *points* Just take the motorboat I left you over there, and head on over! Don't worry, we designed one of the rafts to accommodate the Queen as well... *flies off to the island*
Zidane: Uh... I don't know if this boat is gonna work... I think we have the wrong one..
Camera cuts to Terrawani island, where Kuja is poking a giant specially enforced motorboat. It goes back to show Keraneko's skimpy little boat.
Zidane: It's gonna be a loooong trip...
Tsukani Island: Challenge
As everyone gets off the boat (God knows how Keraneko got here...) it shows Myth directing seven members from each tribe into the jungle, except for each of the representatives. They are Beatrix and Black Waltz No3, standing by for instructions.
Myth: Well! Welcome to Tsukani Island! This is the island where we are going to hold all our challenges on! Now, the rules are... *camera cuts to the Jungle, showing everyone tied up to trees scattered all over the place* You must go into the Jungle wearing this belt.. *Mythakazu holds up a belt with a clip thingy on it* and find your fellow tribe members. They will all be wearing a similar belt, except it has rope attached and another clip attached to the rope. When you find someone, you will lock them to your belt and continue going around until you've found everyone from your group. Then head back to me. First tribe out of the jungle wins! And you all must be attached to each other in a chain!
Beatrix: What about the beasts?
Myth: Er... Well, we couldn't get any that the network would allow, due to safety reasons, so we used your common domestic squirrel. *Sounds of Kuja scremaing 'GET IT OFF ME!'* Er... Ready... Set... GO!
They both take off at a good speed, jumping over trees and rocks. Beatrix quickly spots Eiko, and latches her on. They continue on fast, but waste precious time trying to work their way over a fallen log, which Eiko was too short to get over. Three proceeded to fly ahead, but started to laugh at the stalled Keraneko tribe, so he rammed into a tree. Lucky for him, though, it was the tree that Kuja was tied to.
Kuja: EEEEK! Get this rabid monster off me! NNOOOOO!
Squirrel: Squeak? o_o
Losing his ability to fly, since Kuja couldn't exactly leave the ground, they had to walk. Three's wings appeared to be a burden, as the opposing tribe quickly managed to rescue Zidane, and then Freya. Three felt better about his wings, however, since his brothers both had to manage with theirs. Terrawani found Mikoto chewing rabidly on the tree she was tied to, and the squirrel watching her started throwing coconuts at her head, due to the lack of acorns out in the jungle.
Squirrel: Squeakysqueaksqueeaakkksqueak!!!
Mikoto: Hey! Shtop shat!
Later...
Both Terrawani and Keraneko finally got all their members. Keraneko had a problem, however, since Brahne insisted she had to be carried by the others. Terrawani was about to leave the jungle when suddenly...
Kuja: EEEEEKKK! He's BACK! GET IT AWAY!
Squirrel: Squeakkk!
Kuja started dragging his tribe around in a circle, since they were connected and screaming his lungs out. Amazing how someone can be judged as such a tyrant yet can easily be overtaken by a simple rodent, aye? Anyway, it seemed that Keraneko was going to pull the win away from this one, as they were a few steps from the finish. Luckily for Terrawani, however, Steiner made an effort to stop Kuja by digging his boot into the ground. The force acted like a slingshot, flinging the Terrawani tribe past Keraneko to the victory!
Myth: Whoah! What a surprise victory! I coulda sworn that Keraneko was going to get away with this one!
Zidane: Lousy #$^%^*$ Brahne...
Brahne: Hmmph! *smacks Beatrix with a fan* Why didn't you rescue me FIRST? You let that monster animal lay it's grubby paws on me!
Eiko: Just be happy yours didn't give you brain damage, like Mikoto.
Mikoto: *chews on a stick*
Dagger: Actually, she was like this before the challenge...
Myth: Anyway, Keraneko, I hate to say it, but see you at tribal council tonight!
Tribal Council: Keraneko
You can see the tribe heading up the bride to the council, where Mythakazu is sitting on a rock around a fire. Two wooden benches are across from her, where everyone takes a seat. Well, Brahne sits on the ground. Zidane seems to have a dejected look on his face, while Eiko and Two are quietly whispering something to each other.
Myth: Well guys, major bummer you lost, huh?
They all nod, and glance at Brahne.
Brahne: You should have got me first! And you know how I hate manual labor!
Myth: Anyway, Zidane, why don't you tell us how you feel about this place so far, and how you think the votes are going to go.
Zidane: Well, first, I think that this has been an exiting experience for all of us, I'll admit that. It's been hard, and boring, and we're all starved! Banana's aren't enough! We need fire! Oh, and one more thing! Vote me!
Eiko: Um... Ziddy... *whispers something in his ear*
Zidane: You mean... Whoopsie! DON'T you DARE vote me!
Myth: Now, before we begin, you see the torches behind you? They represent your life on this island, blah blah blah... *looks around cautiously for any of those survivor official guys* Now, when you are voted off, I'll extinguish the torch, and you must leave in a grueling manner with lots of drama and tears and crud like that. Now, let's vote!
Zidane steps up, pauses for a second and writes 'Brahne' on his paper'
Zidane: You're evil. You're snobby. You're fat. 'Nuff said.
He drops his folded piece of paper in a cookie jar and sat back down.
Eiko then steps up, and writes something down.
Eiko: I dunno why. I just feel worried with you around. Not just for me, but for my friend.
She drops it in the cookie jar and skips back down.
Myth: My, you seem cheery.
Eiko: I don't want wrinkles!
Brahne somehow manages to lug herself up there and writes 'ZiDaNE' on paper.
Brahne: You didn't let me eat your banana peel! *pouts*
She's about to drop her paper in the jar, when she sees "Cookie's" written over it.
Myth: Brahne! There's NO cookies in the jar! Just dump your paper in and go!
Brahne: Aww... Then my paper gets to eat them all!
Myth: Geez laweeze...
Beatrix: Who's Louise?
Everyone steps up to vote, and Mythakazu picks up the jar and heads back with it (Brahne drooling at the jar the entire time)
Myth: Okay... One vote for... Brahne.
Brahne: COOKIE!
Myth: Uh... One vote for Beatrix...
Beatrix: Um... Why?
Myth: Shush! I didn't write these! One for Zidane...
Zidane: Awww... I said DON'T!
Myth: Another for... Um.. ZiDaNE? Er... Another Brahne... Another Beatrix... A Zidane...
Zidane: Uh oh...
Myth: And lastly...
Tense, dramatic music plays...
Myth: CAN IT!
The music suddenly stops, accompanied by sounds of a gunshot.
Myth: ....Zidane.
Zidane: #$^$%^%& IT! I TOLD YOU GOD FORSAKEN LOSERS TO NOT VOTE FOR ME! #$^%$ YOU ALL!
Eiko: What does...
Beatrix: Shush...
Myth: Well, monkey boy. Gimme your torch.
Scowling and muttering obscene words under his breath (Eiko: What does THAT word mean?) Zidane grabs his torch and Myth snuffs it out.
Myth: Whelp, the tribe hath shpoken.
Zidane: Lousy...
Mog: Eiko, do us all a favor and never repeat any of those words again, kay kupo?
Eiko: What the #$%$# do you mean by that?
The Last Word: Zidane
Zidane: Well, it was bound to happen sometime. But man, why NOW? It's so embarrassing getting voted off at the beginning of the series! Well I hate you all, stupid Keranero or neko or whatever tribe I was in! Lame name! Why not Brahne? Grrr... Stuipd fat pig... *picks up a rock and throws it at the camera. Everything turns to static*
Just who the heck did who in?
Zidane Beatrix Brahne
Brahne Eiko Zidane
Beatrix BWNo2 BWNo1
Freya
Mog
(Well, I hope you all liked it! 'Member, don't kill me since this has been done for FFIX! Okay? o.o Anywho, please read and review! 'Cause I worked for a really long time on this chapter u.u)
Myth: I don't own Survivor, or the Final Fantasy 9 guys. There, I said it. Can I go now?
Survivor Official: *holding a gun to Myth's back* Okay, you did your bit. Go ahead.