Wandering Stars
a D.N.Angel fic by Sakura
(lan@neutralred.net)
_ This is possibly about as non-canon as fanon
could ever get, so if you completely disagree with
the stuff here, I don't blame ye. But please
contain the flames, onegai? -_-;
C&C always more than welcome, and please do not
archive this fic elsewhere. D.N.Angel owned by the
infamous Bunny Sensei and Kadokawa and all those other
big companies who could kill me by stalling one measly
installment. Yadaaaaaaaa.
I was listening to Portishead's "Wandering Star" on
continuous repeat while writing this, so... Oo;
------------------------------------------------------
//Please could you stay awhile to share my grief
For its such a lovely day
To have to always feel this way
And the time that I will suffer less
Is when I never have to wake...//
He knew it couldn't be real, it just couldn't happen.
The dream of capturing Dark, the blurry images that flashed
in front of his eyes every night, the feverish emotions that
ran through him every time he felt the kaitou pinned under
his hands, at his mercy...
And the terror and pleading that convulsed through the clear
amber eyes that stared back at him, asking him to let go,
let loose the only goal of his life.
Satoshi clenched his teeth, holding back the venomous curses
that threatened to escape at any moment. Curse his life,
curse his family, his blood, his own soul for being torn
between duty and this unfamiliar aching in his heart whenever
he saw that soft smile on the smaller boy's face, reserved
only for her, and no one else...
Not even himself. And he knew, it would always be that way,
and he never dared asked for anything more than the quiet,
bittersweet pleasure in just watching, knowing.
The stark, cold emptiness of his room seeped into his body
as he clung desperately to himself, silently breathing in
the septic night air. It could have very well been a hospital
surgery room and he wouldn't have felt the difference.
So white. Just like those nightmares that woke him up
every night.
Clean, stark, white, brilliant and shining, free of anything
that might taint that endlessly clear shade of space devoid of
emotions.
Himself? Perhaps. He couldn't feel anything. He wasn't
allowed to.
//Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever
Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever...//
He wished desperately that time would pass him by so he wouldn't
be left alone in this darkness. A darkness illuminated only
by the pale moonlight than shone in, reflecting off the clean
white room, the white bed, off his own white hands that
clenched harder onto his own arms, desperately warding off...
Darkness?
He didn't know any more. What was dark, what was light,
what was truly the deception and the lie, the coldness that seeped
into his empty soul, eating at his sanity day after night after
sleepless morning...
//... Those who have seen the needles eye, now tread
Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled
And the masks, that the monsters wear
To feed, upon their prey...//
Warm hands.
A pair of pale hands, long and graceful and white, reached around
Satoshi and closed around the trembling fists that tore at
his shirt, for an instant covering them completely and holding
them down...
"Sabishii desu ka? Satoshi-/sama/..."
Satoshi made no sound, and if he was terrified at all, his heart
beats betrayed no sign. And yet he could feel the other *smirk* -
a gesture as false as his own cold face, as real. The soft,
warm mouth now lingered near his left ear, letting out shallow
breaths that made him involuntarily shudder.
"I am always here for you... you know that better than anyone..."
A slick tongue licked his earlobe gently, and Satoshi had to
squeeze his eyes shut to concentrate on staying still. Krad
smiled softly and rested his head on the smaller boy's shoulder.
He knew that the pale-haired boy was struggling inside.
"... Why are you here."
It was more of a statement than a question, perhaps. Satoshi allowed
himself the small liberty of leaning his cheek against the
head full of soft blond hair, breathing in the warm, musky scent
of his own half, a fragrance that betrayed none of the iciness
that colored the other's eyes... identical blue to his own.
"... I am always here for you. When you need me..."
Krad shifted his grasp so that the smaller boy leaned in against
his broad shoulders, his arms coiled tightly around Satoshi's
body.
"When no one else can hear your cry in the night... You know I'm
always here."
Satoshi didn't even feel like struggling. He knew this was just
another dream, an apparition that had its own will - a will to take
over him and control him completely. And he didn't feel like
putting up a fight.
What was the use, when he could feel the blinding white of the
night seep into his body, leaving a trail of emptiness in his soul?
Wasn't it better to fill it with the dull grey of times forgotten,
of wishes never spoken, of a desire so terrible that it shouldn't
be mentioned-?
Krad nuzzled the tousled blue head affectionately, breaking Satoshi
out of his wandering train of thought.
"Look... outside the window... the stars are shining... aren't
they beautiful? They're wandering... just like you, Satoshi-sama...
wandering in the dark night because the neon lights of the city
blind those below them, trapping their beauty and forcing them
back into the celestial realms..."
It's just too beautiful tonight to feel this lonely...
"What is black, and what is white, do you wonder? Why are the stars
drifting across the sky like this? Aren't we the ones who are
wandering in the night, the ones who truly have no place to go
except... back to each other?"
He knew, but he didn't want to say.
"I am here."
He closed his eyes. Sometimes lies were warmer than the truth.
"... I know."
----------------------------------------------owari---------------
O_O I don't like the ending. But this thing has been rotting
in my harddrive for the last, geh, month. I needed to get it
done and over with. _ C&C always welcome at lan@neutralred.net.
Domo. m(_ _)m
a D.N.Angel fic by Sakura
(lan@neutralred.net)
_ This is possibly about as non-canon as fanon
could ever get, so if you completely disagree with
the stuff here, I don't blame ye. But please
contain the flames, onegai? -_-;
C&C always more than welcome, and please do not
archive this fic elsewhere. D.N.Angel owned by the
infamous Bunny Sensei and Kadokawa and all those other
big companies who could kill me by stalling one measly
installment. Yadaaaaaaaa.
I was listening to Portishead's "Wandering Star" on
continuous repeat while writing this, so... Oo;
------------------------------------------------------
//Please could you stay awhile to share my grief
For its such a lovely day
To have to always feel this way
And the time that I will suffer less
Is when I never have to wake...//
He knew it couldn't be real, it just couldn't happen.
The dream of capturing Dark, the blurry images that flashed
in front of his eyes every night, the feverish emotions that
ran through him every time he felt the kaitou pinned under
his hands, at his mercy...
And the terror and pleading that convulsed through the clear
amber eyes that stared back at him, asking him to let go,
let loose the only goal of his life.
Satoshi clenched his teeth, holding back the venomous curses
that threatened to escape at any moment. Curse his life,
curse his family, his blood, his own soul for being torn
between duty and this unfamiliar aching in his heart whenever
he saw that soft smile on the smaller boy's face, reserved
only for her, and no one else...
Not even himself. And he knew, it would always be that way,
and he never dared asked for anything more than the quiet,
bittersweet pleasure in just watching, knowing.
The stark, cold emptiness of his room seeped into his body
as he clung desperately to himself, silently breathing in
the septic night air. It could have very well been a hospital
surgery room and he wouldn't have felt the difference.
So white. Just like those nightmares that woke him up
every night.
Clean, stark, white, brilliant and shining, free of anything
that might taint that endlessly clear shade of space devoid of
emotions.
Himself? Perhaps. He couldn't feel anything. He wasn't
allowed to.
//Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever
Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever...//
He wished desperately that time would pass him by so he wouldn't
be left alone in this darkness. A darkness illuminated only
by the pale moonlight than shone in, reflecting off the clean
white room, the white bed, off his own white hands that
clenched harder onto his own arms, desperately warding off...
Darkness?
He didn't know any more. What was dark, what was light,
what was truly the deception and the lie, the coldness that seeped
into his empty soul, eating at his sanity day after night after
sleepless morning...
//... Those who have seen the needles eye, now tread
Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled
And the masks, that the monsters wear
To feed, upon their prey...//
Warm hands.
A pair of pale hands, long and graceful and white, reached around
Satoshi and closed around the trembling fists that tore at
his shirt, for an instant covering them completely and holding
them down...
"Sabishii desu ka? Satoshi-/sama/..."
Satoshi made no sound, and if he was terrified at all, his heart
beats betrayed no sign. And yet he could feel the other *smirk* -
a gesture as false as his own cold face, as real. The soft,
warm mouth now lingered near his left ear, letting out shallow
breaths that made him involuntarily shudder.
"I am always here for you... you know that better than anyone..."
A slick tongue licked his earlobe gently, and Satoshi had to
squeeze his eyes shut to concentrate on staying still. Krad
smiled softly and rested his head on the smaller boy's shoulder.
He knew that the pale-haired boy was struggling inside.
"... Why are you here."
It was more of a statement than a question, perhaps. Satoshi allowed
himself the small liberty of leaning his cheek against the
head full of soft blond hair, breathing in the warm, musky scent
of his own half, a fragrance that betrayed none of the iciness
that colored the other's eyes... identical blue to his own.
"... I am always here for you. When you need me..."
Krad shifted his grasp so that the smaller boy leaned in against
his broad shoulders, his arms coiled tightly around Satoshi's
body.
"When no one else can hear your cry in the night... You know I'm
always here."
Satoshi didn't even feel like struggling. He knew this was just
another dream, an apparition that had its own will - a will to take
over him and control him completely. And he didn't feel like
putting up a fight.
What was the use, when he could feel the blinding white of the
night seep into his body, leaving a trail of emptiness in his soul?
Wasn't it better to fill it with the dull grey of times forgotten,
of wishes never spoken, of a desire so terrible that it shouldn't
be mentioned-?
Krad nuzzled the tousled blue head affectionately, breaking Satoshi
out of his wandering train of thought.
"Look... outside the window... the stars are shining... aren't
they beautiful? They're wandering... just like you, Satoshi-sama...
wandering in the dark night because the neon lights of the city
blind those below them, trapping their beauty and forcing them
back into the celestial realms..."
It's just too beautiful tonight to feel this lonely...
"What is black, and what is white, do you wonder? Why are the stars
drifting across the sky like this? Aren't we the ones who are
wandering in the night, the ones who truly have no place to go
except... back to each other?"
He knew, but he didn't want to say.
"I am here."
He closed his eyes. Sometimes lies were warmer than the truth.
"... I know."
----------------------------------------------owari---------------
O_O I don't like the ending. But this thing has been rotting
in my harddrive for the last, geh, month. I needed to get it
done and over with. _ C&C always welcome at lan@neutralred.net.
Domo. m(_ _)m