Chapter Four: Inside the Shattered Spirit
Ursa stormed her way through the
forest, her hands clutched into fists at her sides. She told herself, slowly
and through clenched teeth,
"When I get a hold of that boy, I'll
flame his hide so he can't sit down for a week!"
Ursa rarely ever got completely
angry. She would get agitated but she was pretty good at controlling her
temper, at least with cubs. But when Buddi had run off like that, knowing that
she told him otherwise, that made her see red. She growled and dug her nails
into her palms in an attempt to control her anger.
It didn't work.
Her ears perked up as she heard
childish laughter, one extremely familiar. She growled again, low in her
throat.
'Buddi…"
Ursa crept over to a gland of trees.
Peering through the branches, she saw Buddi and Sunni and Cubbi. Cubbi and
Sunni took off from Buddi, who started to chase after them. She knew then: Tag.
They were playing.
Ursa decided to wait one minute. She
was angry with Buddi, practically livid.
But she respected his pride.
* * *
"Sunni! Cubbi!"
Buddi wandered around a time but saw
no sign of them. He suddenly turned.
He heard a movement in the leaves
but…wait!
He knew those footprints. He knew
that breathing pattern. The color drained from his face and he started to run.
Then, that cold and listen-to-me
voice came through:
"Stop and stay where you are,
Buddi Timba Barbic."
Buddi felt the fear creep into his
blood. Definitely Ursa. But…'Buddi Timba!' His middle name. She never called
him by his full name…unless she was beyond angry.
Slowly Buddi turned.
The branches parted and Ursa stormed
through them, her face red with anger. She grabbed the cub's arm and he stared
at her. She was glaring at him. He was close to shivering but then, she closed
her eyes. Her grip on his arm slackened. Buddi almost sighed with relief but
then was glad he didn't.
She hadn't been cooling; she'd been
debating if he was too old.
The answer came back negative.
With one swift motion, she yanked
the child off the ground, under her left arm and slapped his rear, hard.
Buddi closed his eyes and winced as
he felt the first spanking. It had been several months since Ursa had spanked
him but he hadn't missed it. It still hurt. And unlike the Glens, who feared a
belt more, Buddi would have taken a belt before Ursa's hand any day.
SMACK
The second one, harder than the
first. It felt like fire!
SMACK
The third, harder ever still. Acid
it felt like, burning and scalding. Buddi was fighting tears of pain now. Ursa
made no note and then swung her hand once more,
SMACK
The final was the hardest yet and
Buddi could barely suppress a whimper of pain. Ursa set him back down on his
feet.
Her eyes were angry. "You deserved
that."
Buddi winced and rubbed his sore
bottom. "Did you have to hit me so hard?"
Ursa's eyes penetrated him, lasers.
"Hard? Buddi Timba Barbic, that was
not even close to hard. Do you want to feel hard?"
Buddi swallowed hard and swiftly
shook his head. He was used to that saying; he'd heard it before. Ursa met his
eyes again, her own burning. When she spoke, her voice came out sharp, gray and
cold.
And angry beyond belief.
"Buddi, you better enjoy that small
moment of relief you're getting because I'm making you a promise right
now: when we get home you're getting another one of those…but bare this time!"
Buddi's face went solid white. He
grabbed hold of her hands and started begging the only way he knew how,
desperately.
"No, please no. Ursa No! Please
don't! Don't make me beg!"
Ursa couldn't help it. Despite her anger,
she chuckled and covered her mouth with her hand.
"Buddi, you are begging."
"Well, then don't make me beg
anymore…please?"
Ursa rolled her eyes, exasperated
with herself. She gave in and said, "all right, all right. But you come with me
now. Don't expect to be able to go out again for a time."
Buddi sighed deeply but didn't
object. But suddenly, as the adult dragged him away, he dug his feet into the
earth and said,
"Wait!"
Ursa stopped. 'What?"
"I have to tell Sunni. She'll think
I ditched her! Please Ursa, let me tell her."
Ursa considered. She really
shouldn't but she knew what it felt like to have your best friend mad at you.
She and Gritty argued occasionally and she always hated it. Besides, the cub's
eyes were tugging at her heart. She gave him a motherly smile, with a nod but
then quickly took on her firm face and added,
"Five minutes, Buddi. Any longer and I come looking
for you and if I have to do that then you're getting another tanning."
Buddi nodded, seriously. He didn't doubt her threat;
he took it seriously. She meant a threat if she said it. The child scrambled
off into the woods as Ursa leaned against a tree and waited.
Buddi ran slowly, he was still in pain. By gum, Ursa
hurt! And the thought of going through that bare…no covering to filter the pain
a bit, Buddi's face condensed in pain, just thinking about it.
But then, Buddi stopped. He felt
strangely dizzy, although he knew he was well, Grubbi himself had pronounced
him fine, to get Ursa off his case. But now, the dizziness came again with an
intensity that was alien to the cub. He felt like he'd throw up or pass out or
maybe both.
He ended up losing his balance and
collapsing onto his side. Then, the dizziness became pain that conquered his
consciousness and the child blacked out.
* * *
Ursa looked up at the sky.
Fifteen minutes had passed.
Ursa let out a Barbic curse. She
walked from her position by the tree, hissing,
"Buddi…"
* * *
A sharp kick in his side made Buddi
come back to the present. Sitting up, he looked around. The trees were gone.
The sky was gone…By Gum, even the ground was gone! Everything was black, no way
to tell what was up or down, left or right. Buddi looked around a minute more.
Then, the hand flew and knocked him
to the ground.
Buddi let out a yelp of surprise and
pain. He sat up slowly.
The cub felt a rattling in his mouth
and spit a tooth out into his palm. The sour taste of blood fell on his tongue
but he ignored it and looked up at his assaulters.
His mouth dropped.
It was Ursa.
He stammered, "Ursa…I"
The Barbic woman swung her hand
again, knocking the cub back down, pain shooting through his face. He fought
tears at those bitter words,
"Shut up!"
* * *
Sunni groaned and sat up. She had
been wandering when unconsciousness decided to pay her a visit. Now as she
looked around, she saw that she was in a vague landscape, completely white. No
sky, no ground, no air! She felt no air but there was still oxygen entering and
leaving her lungs.
The girl took her time gazing
around. She spied a single figure among the whiteness. She recognized the
silhouette immediately.
"Gruffi!"
The brown Gummi stared a moment
before running forward and delivering a strong punch to the cub's face, Sunni
went spiraling to the ground.
"Shut your trap!"
The yellow furred girl got to her
hands and knees. Blood was leaking from a split lip. Covering it with her paw,
she turned and met the elder Gummi. She knew Gruffi. That wasn't him. The girl
stared into the adult's eyes.
There was no life in them, no
sincerity. They were orbs of black.
She stammered,
"I don't know who you are but you aren't
Gruffi."
The figure smirked.
"So, you are smarter than you look."
Sunni growled and got up, her arms
defensive but one could tell that she could not have fought this Gummi
imposter, had she needed to.
And this false Gummi used that to
his advantage.
"See? You aren't worthy of the blood
you carry in you! You're more human than Gummi! A Gummi would resist but not
you! You give in to images, to circumstances. That is NOT a GUMMI BEAR!"
Sunni crumpled to the ground. She
should not have let the words get to her. But they stung like bee stings. But
the reason they did was because she had a reason to believe that Gruffi truly
did believe that. He was kinder with Cubbi, more lenient with Tummi. She was
the only cub that she truly felt he cracked down on. Because maybe he did
believe what this figure was saying.
At that possibility, the child sank
and wept like a baby.
* * *
Ursa walked about the forest,
looking for Buddi. She had been looking for a time but so far could not even
find a trace. She'd called for him, looked everywhere she could think of. But
still, she could not find the cub. Her anger had long ago transformed into
concern.
"Sunni!"
Ursa turned as she heard a cub's
shout, even though it wasn't Buddi's. She saw the glen's pink furred cub come
through the branches, and Gritty's little 'partner.' Cubbi.
"Hey, Cubbi!"
The child backed up in surprise when
he saw her but then ran to her,
"Ursa! What're you doing-uh, oh,
Buddi's in trouble huh?"
Ursa chuckled. "Yes. But right now,
I need to find him. He said he was going to look for Sunni but he never came
back."
"That's who I'm looking for!" the
child announced. "Sunni!"
Ursa seemed to get more concerned.
She started to twirl her blond hair around her pointer finger, saying softly,
"First Buddi and now Sunni. They're
probably together."
"Uh, Ursa?"
The Barbic looked at the Glen. He
swallowed and said, "Do you usually play with your hair that way?"
Ursa looked down and smiled. She
hadn't even realized that she started to twirl her hair. It had become a habit
of hers. Something she did, when she was concerned, worried, or thinking. She
smiled at Cubbi.
"Only when I'm thinking about
something. Tell ya what: I'll help you look for Sunni, you help me look for
Buddi."
Cubbi beamed. "Yes, Ma'am." He sent
her the same salute that Buddi sent her sometimes to say, "I'll get on it,
kay?"
Ursa took off to the left, directing
Cubbi to the right. The cub scampered off. Ursa was fighting the panic that a
mother had but she knew Buddi was capable of taking care of himself. He had
confidence in his abilities although, he did not have as much belief in himself
as he deserved.
Ursa walked along and then stopped.
"I felt it…that sudden chill."
* * *
Buddi looked at this Ursa. He knew
Ursa and knew that this was not the same woman that raised him. This woman's
eyes were dark, pitiless, and emotionless. She had no love in her eyes. Ursa's
were always tough and unyielding looking but Buddi knew that underneath that he
could always see her kindness and love, buried.
He saw none now. He slowly said,
"You…you aren't-"
"I said SHUT UP!" the form swung her
fist and it connected with Buddi's nose. Buddi heard his bones break and cupped
his hands over his muzzle, to try and dull the pain. Tears of pain filled his
eyes and slowly began to slide down his cheeks.
This creature snorted and
said,
"Hmmp! Some Barbic you are."
Buddi knew this wasn't Ursa but
those four words still burnt like fire. He looked at her.
She went on,
"A Barbic never cries. A Barbic
reveals no pain! A Barbic is strong! You are WEAK!"
Buddi wiped away his tears.
"You have your opinion," he said
softly, trying to keep the tears from entering his voice. "But…Ursa doesn't
think that way!"
The fake Ursa grinned evilly, a
smile that sent chills up Buddi's spine.
'Oh, no?"
Immediately, Buddi was overwhelmed
with images. Terrible visions. He saw Ursa, the real Ursa screaming at him,
scolding him, and cutting down on his abilities. He tried to tell himself she
was merely angry but then the other visions came, one right after the other.
"You can't do this! You don't have
the strength!"
It sounded cruel, accusing.
"Listen to me! Listen to me, for
once!"
She sounded like he was a burden to
her.
"Do something right!"
His small confidence began to
shrink.
The scoldings continued, endless.
Buddi sunk to the ground, trembling. What he didn't know was that this creature
was manipulating his memories, making them more fierce, worse than they were.
In real life, Ursa had said,
"You can't do this. You don't have
the strength," then she had knelt and smiled at him. "But that'll come with
time and you have more than enough intellectual skills to counter that
weakness."
In real life, Ursa had said, "Listen
to me," but she had never said, "For once." In fact, she would often praise him
for what he did do although; she did get short with him occasionally. But Buddi
didn't know. These were memories to him. They were what had happened.
Buddi was normally strong, for a
child. It was in his Barbic blood but also he naturally was very strong willed
and hard headed, like Ursa.
But those memories preyed on his
small self-confidence and when those cruel words echoed without hesitation,
without stopping….
The last of his confidence shattered into nothing.