A.N.
ok people those who get offended really easy don't read this you little wosses
(I don't know if that's how you spell it) there is occasional coarse language…hay
who am I kidding the whole thing is full of coarse language!! This is a fanfic
dedicated to…ummm…Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom
(hehe he has a very funny last name, ok not as funny as mine, its Blank for all
those people out there, no really my last name is Blank) and all those people who
have funny last names!! Or funny first names! Because of their stupid parents
who are brain dead or just really mean
Snape:
The asshole (by the way that's the title)
Another
terrifying class with Snape, Neville has yet again really pissed Snape off and
Hermione, Ron and Harry are arguing with Snape, meanwhile Draco (dickhead of
the year) is snickering with the rest of his slytherin supporters, when all of
a sudden someone turns up at the door (well it kind of obvious who it is)…THUMPER.
Thumper:
Snape what are you doing!!
Snape
has at this moment backed Neville into a corner (not a dirty joke I m not like
that!) and is giving him the stare of death.
Snape:
what the hell are you doing here! This is a classroom for students not fanfic
authors!
Thumper:
Oh dear it seems that you have forgotten our last conversation…you know the one
about me turning you into a ballerina!
Snape:
Ha like I care if you turn me into a ballerina, I'd just turn myself back!
Thumper:
not if I have your wand broken, and I take away your magic powers, turning you
into a…what's that word you guys use?…oh yea muggle!
Snape:
you wouldn't!
Thumper:
oh yes I would, I warned you Snape, I told you that you had to be nice but no
you completely ignored me…so now Im going to get you really bad.
The
entire class was now watching with great interest, as Thumper turned Snape into
a ballerina and took away his magic
Snape:
fuck you, you little bitch I will get you back!
Thumper:
I don't think so as you have no magic powers, by the way Snape have you had a
shower today?
Snape:
why should I tell you!
Thumper:
I don't care if you tell me or not because the next time I see you picking on
your students…well lets just say you will smell nice for the rest of your life.
Snape:
NOOOOO, DUMBLEDORE GET YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN HERE!!
Snape
was starting to get really good at ballet by the time Dumbledore did arrive,
and seeing the scene before his eyes he tried his hardest not to giggle
Dumbledore:
What is going on here?
Thumper:
I m teaching Snape
Dumbledore:
and who are you?
Thumper:
the all powerful and eccentric god…but you can call me Thumper, I m also a
fanfic writer
Dumbledore:
how interesting you must tell me more…
Snape:
Dumbledore what the fuck are you doing!
Dumbledore:
well as you can see im trying to have a conversation! (turning back to Thumper)
excuse me dear but would you ming turning him back into an ordinary Severus
Snape?
Thumper:
sure but im not giving him his powers
Dumbledore:
fine, that's ok I never liked him any way (Thumper stops ballerina Snape) thank
you my dear, now will you come up to my office I must find out about this
fanfic stuff…
Thumper:
sure why not I've got all day, although I really should be at my muggle school…oh
well what am I going to learn!
Snape:
B..b..but Professor, what am I supposed to do?
Dumbledore:
oh go fuck your self like I care!
And
Thumper and Dumbledore disappear down the corridor leaving a speechless and
humiliated Snape behind them
Snape:
I'll get you back Thumper if it's the last thing I do…
Well
there it is, and there wasn't as much swear words as I thought there would be…oh
well maybe next time kiddies………….by the way who likes placebo? The band?………no
one? Oh well it doesn't matter
You
know what to do now and I trust you will be responsible, but be irresponsible
and I will kick your Asses!
Disclaimer:
I own nothing but myself