Untitled Document
Don't Cry
by Simone

EMAIL: sgavino@gbl.com.br / claddagh@angel.vg
SUMMARY: Angel POV & BUffy of "Becoming II"
RATING: PG-13, I guess. Little too angst.
ARCHIVE: My site and if you like if, pls drop me a line.
FEEDBACK: Yes... I need it. Crave for it... Pleasssssssse.
DISCLAIMER: The characters and universe herein are the property of Joss Whedon, 20th Century Fox, Mutant Enemy, Sandollar, and Kuzui Productions. This piece of fan-written fiction means no infringement upon any copyrights.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my second Angel POV, and it is sad and deep. I hope you enjoy it.
Second Note: Lyrics are from "Don't Cry" performed by Guns n'Roses.
Thanks to Jonathan, for being sweet, kind and lovely. Thanks for correcting my mistakes.
***********************************************************************************
Darkness. All around him, inside him. All he could see, feel and touch was darkness. No pain at all, no miserable feelings, no regrets. Only darkness.

Then, all of a sudden, he was stroken by light, and his colorless world changed into a mixture of silver and blue. And gold and hazel.

That was when the real pain begun.

"Buffy?"

Talk to me softly
There's something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry

She was standing there, right in front of him. And he was feeling odd.. why was he so confused? And why was Buffy holding a sword? He started to feel the pain, a kind of pain he now knew too well, but at this very moment he wasn't able to recognize it. He looked around and could not figure out where they were. Strange flashbacks and mixed emotions coming up so fast that he could barely breath. Although he did not even needed to breath. The place was plush and dark, and in some way it made him think about Drusilla. He blinked again, this time a little stronger than before. Light was coming from outside, through Buffy and almost blinding him. He looked at her again, so beautiful and strong, but she had something sad all around her, something he had never seen before. Something dark. Trying to find the words, Angel asked:

"What's going on? Where are we? I don't remember..."

Buffy stood still, not believing her eyes. It was him, it was Angel. He was back, and she wouldn't have to kill him anymore. As she spoke, she felt some part of herself being broke, set free. She felt happiness and hope coming rushing back to her body. Her hole life seemed to change as she spoke his name, not more than a whisper, but sure his name.
"Angel..."

Everything was resumed in his name. All her world was in him. Her despair, her hate, her love and desire. She was nothing without him and now he was back. Her Angel. Buffy could see the tears in his eyes as herself started to cry.

I know how you're feeling inside I've
I've been there before
Something's changing inside you
And don't you know

Angel stared back at Buffy in bewilderment as he noticed that she was bleeding. He could not help but getting worried. What could have happened to her? Why he was not there to protect her? And why was he feeling that godamned pain? This pang inside him this feeling that he did some terribly thing. Why was his ray of light crying like this? He raised his hand to touch her and it made him ache for her. And as his body reached out for Buffy, the pain seemed to ease, as if she was a bandage for his wounds. This young woman was the answer to all this questions, and without her he could not exist. Thanks God she was there, and she loved him. Angel looked worried when he saw that she was really hurt.

"You hurt. Oh God, I feel like I haven't seen you in months. I everything is so muddled I oh, Buffy what's happening?"

Just as he spoke, he took Buffy in his arms, and everything seemed to fit, everything seemed alright as if he could feed on her light, on the love she gave him. On the sweet surrender with which she let herself be embraced by him. And at that moment he thought that if he closed his eyes, all the pain would end. And this was perfect happiness. Angel heard Buffy sobbing and felt his own tears coming down.

Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight (chorus)

Buffy let herself be held by her man. Her one and only. And for the first time in several months she felt home. She felt safe and sound. Loved and cherished, like no other women had ever felt. Then she sensed some primal evil arousing, and she opened her eyes to see Acathla coming to life. She opened her eyes to see all her dreams die, her life taken away as brutally as the first time. She opened her eyes to face her destiny and her sacred duty. To kill her man, her soulmate. And to die and keep living. Her tears grew as she whispered softly in his ear.

"Shh don't worry about it shh I love you"

Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you
Tell me goodbye

Angel felt Buffy's body trembling as she pushed him away. She loved him, and it almost made him hear birds singing. He was happy. And this must be a blessing. The pain was going away, he knew it, and they would stay together forever and ever. So, he looked back in her eyes and stated:

"I love you."

He looked in her eyes and felt like he was drowning. And it was so good that he wished he could die looking at her. He could not be closer to the truth. Buffy was bathed by moonlight and she carresed Angel's face as she begged him in a broken soft voice.

"Close your eyes."

And so he did. Believing in the only woman that he had ever loved, he closed his eyes, not to see death coming his way. He tought she was going to give him some unforgettable moment, something to remember. Something for the pain. And in some wicked way she did it. He felt the cold blade trespassing his body and opened his eyes in pain and suffering to see his Buffy standing still like a black angel, a black messenger of death and destruction. Why she did this? Why betraying his love and devotion? Why was she letting him go this way? He had so many questions, but all them where answered in a fraction of time, as he was cursed again with the memories of the last months. The way he spoke to Buffy the day after their first night together, torturing Giles, killing Jenny, tormenting Buffy's friends life. Joining Spike and Drusilla to bring Acathla back to this world. He knew why she had to do this and he wanted to scream to her that this was the only way. But he had no time, he tried to tell her but all he could do was murmur:

"Ah Buffy! "


Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinking of you
And the times we had


And he felt himself being involved by evil. He could hear a thousand voices screaming in pain and agony, as if they were welcoming him to hell, but it did not matter now. He only wanted to let Buffy know that he still loved her and that he understood. But he was not allowed. He knew that if he was not able to let her know it she would be haunted by this evening for all her life. And he tried once again, just this time it was really too late, cause Acathla had already sent him to where he belonged. He was in Hell.


And please remember
That I never lied
And please remember
How I felt inside

And she cried, as she watched her lover going away for the second time. This time she knew it was for good. No Romani curse would bring him back, no chance of love and hope. No more Buffy Summers to wander in dark streets looking for her Angel. She was the Slayer, the Chosen One. The one chosen to be alone forever. "So, let's make their will, she though. Alone I shall be."

Buffy did not remember how many time she spent in the mansion, looking at the place where she last saw Angel. The only thing she knew was that she was no longer Buffy, and had no place in her life for friends, family or sacred duties. She longed for what she
could not have, so she was not herself anymore.

"Anne, she tought. That's me, Anne."

She took a long breath and thought that Anne sounded a little bit like Angel. The decision was taken. Now, she just needed some place to grieve.

Now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
Come the morning light
Now babe

Instinctively, her hand went to her neck, rubbing the silver cross against her skin. And she knew it was the last time she was going to touch it. She headed home, to pack and to say a silent goodbye to all the places she learned to love. She was heading to sunshine, to a place where nothing could remind her of waht she was. She was heading towards Heaven, wherever it should be.


The end