Aha

Aha! I have returned. I've just been reading (well, a few days ago) things about nailing puddings onto walls by Saraléa. It's a fantastic story, but it's about fifteen miles long. If you like that, read also The Flower and the Stag by Tropical Fishy (I think I've said this before). If you've read both of them, then read, er, The Blue Unicorn by Sirius. (Yes, that's it). If you've read all of them, then, er, entertain yourselves, dammit!

Question (I was asked): Is there any reason James' birthday is 15th July? Answer: Not particularly. It is, however, sixteen days prior to my own birthday, July 31st, which is coincidentally the same day as Harry's. I would have made James' birthday then, but it would be too coincidental, and you would have moaned at me in your reviews (which is most of you in your element). I stop talking now; you start reading…

The next day, lessons began, and everyone at Hogwarts was prepared for a long and difficult term. Well, almost everyone. Sirius, James, Remus, Peter and Frank all began the year with a furious pillow. After they had all changed, they made their way down to the Great Hall, where they found Ben Coates handing out new timetables.

'Here y'are,' he said, handing them their timetables. 'This is your lesson disrupting plan.'

'I assumed they were timetables,' said James, grinning.

'Same thing,' said Ben, shrugging, and he left to hand out the new first year timetables.

'Let's see,' said James, gazing down at his new timetable. 'We still have Potions with the Slytherins. Rats.'

'Quite literally,' muttered Sirius.

'Arrgh! We've got flying lessons, well, Quidditch tryouts, with them as well. I thought we were with the Ravenclaws for flying.'

'Can't have too much of a good thing, I suppose,' said Remus, looking equally put out.

'Yeah, apart from that, it's pretty much the same – though we have Potions and Defence Against the Dark Arts with new teachers – should be interesting. Oh, and well, we've got everything at different times. Er, Datda's first.'

'Datda?'

'Defence Against the Dark Arts, Sirius,' said James slowly. 'You're still asleep really, aren't you?' Sirius made some odd snoring noises to corroborate James' theory. James tapped his head, looking at Remus and Peter, all silently agreeing that Sirius was more suited to a mental institution than a school. When James actually voiced this conjecture, Sirius seemed to awaken from his stupor.

''Course,' he said, 'Datda! It's all so clear now.' Still wondering how exactly Sirius' mind worked, James began helping himself to some toast. He suddenly received a sharp nip on his arm. It was Mercury, his large tawny owl. She rarely brought him letters, it was only his parents who ever wrote, but as he had only been away from them for a day, he though it unlikely to be from them. It was simply addressed to 'James', and the handwriting looked oddly familiar. There was no return address; it was just a small letter in a brownish envelope. James set it down, eager to finish his breakfast before he read it. He finished his toast, and turned to pick up his letter. It was gone! He looked around on the table. Nothing. He looked underneath the table. Nothing. Someone must have taken it, taken it when he wasn't watching, but whom? It must have been someone sitting around him, as he hadn't seen anyone approaching the table.

James looked at the people around him. On his left, Remus was explaining to Lily exactly how Disapparation worked; she looked fascinated, and not as though she'd just stolen a letter. On his right, Sirius and Peter were talking spiritedly about the Quidditch World Cup, which was to take place in the summer, and the rest of the girls, Michelle, Heather, Sarah and Katie, were on the other side of Remus and Lily, laughing at a joke that Frank had told them. Frank was a funny person. He seemed to James to be more comfortable around girls than boys, which was remarkably odd. He was funny in a comical sense too, and though James rarely spent time with him (He was usually with Michelle or Sarah), he got on with him very well.

None of the people around him, however, looked remotely as though they'd just stolen his letter, and in case, why should they? When he left the Great Hall a few minutes later, and crossed the Entrance Hall, his mind was still reeling with the inexplicability of the whole thing. Why would anyone steal his letter? It made no sense. His back could only have been turned for a few minutes, so, in theory, only the people around him: Sirius, Peter, Lily and Remus would really have had any chance. But why? That was what was bothering him. Why would one of his friends steal something that was obviously meant for him?

James was still trying to answer the same question when he arrived outside the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. Because he had been so wrapped up in the mysterious disappearance of his letter, he had completely forgotten that they had a new teacher. Professor Loughran was a remarkably tall person. James seriously doubted if there were any other people at Hogwarts as tall as him, except for Hagrid. The top of his head almost brushed the top of the doorframe. He had a commanding presence, and he spoke in a deep booming voice.

'Welcome,' he said loudly, causing Sirius to jerk awake. 'I am Professor Loughran, your new Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor. I will just take the register quickly, and then we can begin.' He worked his way down the very short list of names, from Sirius to Heather.

'Now, the topic for this year is dark creatures. I have to teach you to recognise dark creatures and know their weaknesses. I once had a friend who was almost killed by he fell down some stairs after he had seen a Boggart. Now some of you may not know what a Boggart is,' James, Peter and Sirius did; James' dad had explained to them during the holidays, 'but all it would have taken was a simple incantation, and my friend would probably still have the correct number of limbs.' There were some slightly apprehensive looks around the class. Only Peter, James and Sirius looked fairly calm. Remus was looking nothing short of horrified.

'I'll be showing you most of the basic Dark creatures, though we may at some point have a look at werewolves and vampires.' Now most of the class were looking at Professor Loughran as though he was insane, notably Remus and Lily.

'Vampires and werewolves?' breathed Lily breathlessly. 'Whaaat?' Remus nodded in agreement, but Professor Loughran continued talking.

'Now, probably the most basic dark creature is a Boggart. It's not pleasant stumbling upon a Boggart if you don't know what it really is.'

'First of all then, what is a Boggart?' James and Peter's hand's rose into the air. Sirius looked highly uninterested.

'Pettigrew?'

'Shape-shifter?' said Peter nervously. He rarely got things right first rime, and seemed to be waiting for a reprimand from Professor Loughran.

'Precisely. The Boggart takes the shape of the thing that it believes us to fear most.' Most of the class gave Professor Loughran looks of pure terror. He continued, either missing or ignoring the looks on his class' faces. 'The spell that dispels a Boggart is fairly straightforward, though it does require concentration. The thing that dispels a Boggart is laughter. When facing him, you need to try and make his appearance, whatever it may be, comical. For example, I have a friend who is mortally afraid of birds. When a Boggart is in his presence, he pictures the bird without its head. It certainly does the trick, even if it is slightly, er, less… orthodox.'

'When you know how to make your Boggart look comical, then there is a simple incantation you must say. It is, repeat after me…riddikulus!'

'Riddikulus!' repeated the class.

'Correct. Now, I have been searching the castle since I woke up, but I have not, unfortunately, been able to find a Boggart. Does anyone actually know where Boggarts are commonly found?' Sirius raised his hand.

'Boggartland?' he asked, innocently. Professor Loughran laughed.

'Not quite, er, Sirius,' he said, consulting his class list. 'Does anyone know?' James raised his hand lazily.

'Dark, enclosed spaces,' he said monotonously.

'Precisely, James. Now, hopefully, I will be able to find a Boggart lurking around the castle for one of our next lessons. This will give you all plenty of time to practice the incantation, and to think of how to make the thing you fear most look comical. Once more…riddikulus!'

'Riddikulus!' said the class simultaneously.

'Excellent. It would probably help you to read up about Boggarts in your textbooks before next lesson. Now, as we have a little time remaining, you may please yourselves; I must get on with something.'

The remainder of the lesson was filled with some apprehensive and some excited talk about Boggarts. James knew immediately what his Boggart would turn in to, and so, apparently, did Sirius.

'S'obvious,' he said to James. 'It'll be Heather kissing Snapey.'

'Got the hots for Heather, have you?' Sirius nodded, grinning.

'Oy, Heather!' shouted Remus across the class.' Heather turned. 'Sirius says he loves you. Is that all right?' Heather grinned, and nodded. While Sirius talked about his and Heather's undying love, James' mind wandered back to his missing letter. He was still remarkably confused, and after going over all the possibilities once more in his mind, the most probable still being that someone around him stole it, he decided to stop worrying about it.

Their next lesson was Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall was refreshing their memories by making them all turn matches into needles again. As most people completed this task without very much difficulty, she moved them onto the far more difficult task of changing beetles into buttons. Only James managed it, producing a handful of buttons by the end of the lesson. He was subsequently not set any homework, which seemed to irritate Sirius for some reason.

'Git,' he said, as they were walking down to the Great Hall for lunch. 'Just 'cause you're so clever, you get let off homework.' James laughed.

'Don't worry. I'll probably end up doing yours for you anyway.'

'Damn right.'

'What's this?' said Remus, who had been talking to Peter. 'James's is going to do our homework for us? Ooh, goody.'

'Ooh,' came Lily's voice from behind us. 'You can do mine and all.'

'What is this?' said James, laughing. 'James Potter does your homework for you day?'

'If you're volunteering –' Peter began, but as they walked into the Great Hall, he stopped talking immediately, because he was too busy laughing, and it was apparent to everyone why.

Snape was bunny hopping towards the Slytherin table. He had been hit with what was undoubtedly the leg-locker curse. They walked over to the Gryffindor table to find nearly everyone doubled up with laughter.

'What happened?' Sirius asked, holding back his laughter.

'Fr – Frank,' whispered Ben Coates, before bursting out with laughter again. Frank was sitting at the end of the table, watching Snape with clear satisfaction.

'What did you do to him?' said James, still chuckling.

'Leg-locker,' said Frank, with a wry smile. 'Git was insulting these two again,' he motioned to Lily and Katie.

'Good man, Frankie,' said Sirius. 'Glad to see the rat is being punished.'

'He deserves it. The lot of 'em do. Avery and Rosier only got out of the way in time, or they'd be hopping too. They didn't think I'd do anything. It woulda killed you seeing his face when I cursed him. Beautiful. Well, strikingly ugly in truth, but you know what I mean.' James grinned and clapped Frank on the shoulder.

'Nice one, Frank. Should show the rats.' He looked up to see that Snape was now walking properly, though he was very red. Evidently some members of his own house had found it amusing. He caught James' eye and shot him a look of pure venom. James smiled evilly.

After lunch, the Gryffindors had Charms with Professor Flitwick. Today they were learning the Silencing charm. James was paired up with Lily, which was good, as she was clearly the best at the subject. Professor Flitwick demonstrated on Sirius. He spent half of the lesson in complete silence, as did James. Neither of them were very pleased. James did manage to get his own back, though, by placing the charm on Lily and then refusing to let her speak again until the end of the lesson. She tried to complain to Professor Flitwick, bet she couldn't speak. She didn't look too happy by the end of the lesson, as all of the Gryffindors made their way up to Gryffindor Tower.

That evening, James, Sirius, Frank, Remus and Lily decided to go down and visit Hagrid. They went relatively early, though they decided to take James' Invisibility Cloak with them, in case a detour to the kitchens was required on the return journey. They knocked loudly on his door.

'Alrigh' you lot?' he said, opening the door, to let them come in. 'How was yer first day back? They told him in detail. They certainly didn't miss out the details of what had happened at lunch.

'Don' blame yeh fer cursing him, Frank,' he said, when Frank explained. 'Mudblood…terrible thing ter say. Still, reckon you're cleverer than he is, Lily. Don' listen to a word he says.'

'S'alright Hagrid, I don't anyway,' said Lily. 'He's a pathetic rat. He is!' Hagrid was shaking his head.

'Yer just descending ter his level if yeh say stuff like tha'. Just ignore him, or keep it between yerselves.'

The conversation eventually drifted away from Snape. They were soon happily talking about flying lessons and Quidditch tryouts. Hagrid explained.

'See 'em doin' it every year. S'just like a normal flying lesson, 'cept Ben Coates an' the Slytherin Quidditch captain, can' remember his name, will be there, watchin' yeh. They'll be looking out fer new talent from all but first years. I bet at least one of yeh'll make the team.' Everyone looked at James.

'If it's gonna be anyone, it'll be Jamesy,' said Sirius firmly.

'Damn right,' echoed Frank.

'You're all too kind,' said James, grinning.

'You're too modest, James,' said Remus, also grinning.

They talked for a while with Hagrid, and then made their way back up to the castle for dinner. James glanced over to the Slytherin table as he entered. He saw Snape, and didn't like the look on his face at all. It wasn't his usual miserable face, it was a shrewd, cunning face, and he was speaking in low whispers to his friends and the Slytherin Quidditch captain, Graham Roberts. James guessed that he was probably plotting revenge against him and Frank – he doubted very much whether Snape had forgotten their train journey home at the end of last year.

The Great Hall was soon filled with the clatter of knives and forks and a large amount of chatter. Though in truth he had only been back a day, James felt as though he'd been at Hogwarts for a month. It took him hardly any time to adapt. James talked a lot to Frank, Sirius, Peter and Remus about flying lessons during dinner. Remus looked slightly apprehensive; flying was not his favourite pastime, but Sirius, Peter and especially Frank were all looking forward with tremendous anticipation. Although James could barely remember, he seemed to think that Frank was a good flyer, too.

When they returned to the common room earlier, after passing the portrait of the fat lady (Merlin's beard!'), the five boys were too tired to do anything, all five of them went upstairs and were presently fast asleep. Or at least that was what James thought. If he had been awake, he would have undoubtedly heard the quiet rustling of a small envelope being opened by someone in the dormitory.

The next few days passed fairly quickly. On Thursday morning, Professor Loughran told them that he had still had no luck in locating a Boggart, so he spent most of the lesson telling them about his travels around the world, which was very interesting. In the afternoon, they had their first Potions lesson with their new teacher, Professor Turner. He was probably their youngest teacher; he could hardly be older than twenty-five. It occurred to James the Professor Turner had been somewhat similar to Sirius when he had been at school. Sirius seemed to enjoy the lesson more than any lesson he had had with Professor Jackson the previous year. As James was contemplating this, he wondered where Professor Jackson was, and what he was doing.

The weekend soon arrived. James and Sirius paid a trip to the kitchens, and the house-elves were ecstatic to see them again.

'The summer has been very trying, sirs,' one particularly squeaky elf told them, as he handed them a small plate of chipolata sausages. 'We elves has had very little work to do. It is bad, sirs, very bad. We elves love our work.'

'So I see,' said James, grinning, as he noticed a group of elves beginning to cook dinner in the corner.

After dinner, the ten second year Gryffindors had a particularly explosive game of Exploding Snap. They were approached, a little while later, by three slightly mischievous looking first years, a girl and two boys. James knew who one of them was; she had been the second person to be sorted – Rachel Coates, Ben Coates' younger sister.

'Hello,' said Lily, kindly, as they approached.

'Evening,' said one of the boys courteously.

'Who are you?' Lily continued.

'James Young. This is John Brown and Rachel Coates.'

'How can we help you, Jamesy?' said Sirius, grinning. James personally thought it was because he'd found another person to torture with silly nicknames.

'It's James.'

'Don't even bother trying,' James advised his namesake. 'It'll only encourage him.'

'How do you know?' asked James' friend, John.

'James Potter, at your service. Yes, my, er, strange friend Sirius here calls me Jamesy too.'

'You're James and you're Sirius,' said Rachel, motioning to them. 'Who are all you lot?' she asked, gazing questioningly at Lily and the rest.

'Alright, deep breath,' said Sirius. 'We have Lily Burns, Katie Evans, Heather Thomas, soon to be Heather Black, of course,' Heather laughed. 'Er, Michelle Lewis, Sarah Coleman, Remus Lupin, Frank Longbottom and Peter Pettigrew.'

'Lily, Katie, Heather, Michelle, Sarah, Frank, Remus, Peter, Sirius and James,' repeated Rachel. 'So I presume you're all second years?'

'No!' whispered Sirius. 'We're on a secret mission, from –'

'Yes,' said Remus, interrupting Sirius, 'we're all second years.' Sirius looked slightly put out about not be able to talk about his secret mission story.

'Is it good here at Hogwarts?' asked James.

'Definitely, Jamesy,' said Sirius. 'Actually, we can't call you Jamesy, because of wee Potter here…' Sirius lapsed into deep concentration. 'That's it! Jamesy Junior.' James and James Junior looked at each other, both raising their eyes to the ceiling.

'You really are quite insane,' said Frank, laughing. Sirius bowed, taking this as a compliment.'

'To answer your question,' said Remus, still looking worriedly at Sirius. 'Yes, Hogwarts is great. There's only one bad thing,' he blurted out suddenly. Everyone stared at him.

'What?' asked Peter.

'Er,' Remus began, looking uncomfortable. 'We're, er, not allowed into the Forbidden Forest.'

'Why exactly would we want to go into the Forbidden Forest?' asked Frank.

'I dunno, it might be – er – fun?'

'You've been hanging around Sirius too long,' said James, laughing. 'The insanity is contagious.' Remus laughed nervously.

'Yeah. I think I'll go to bed, I suddenly feel quite tired. Night.' And he strode over to the dormitory door and starting to climb the stairs, closing the door behind him. There were a few minutes of stunned silence.

'Maybe he's right,' said Peter, after a few minutes. 'Maybe we should all go to –'

'Tell you what, we'll have one last game,' said James.

They played quite a long game of Exploding Snap with John, Rachel and James Junior, as he was now being cheerfully dubbed. It was quite late when Lily practically fell asleep on Sirius, and James insisted that they all went to bed. Sirius seemed happy to stay where he was, but after James threatened to torture him with the Laughing curse again, he quickly shook Lily off him and scampered off to the second year dormitories with Peter. James said goodnight to the girls, John and James Junior, and then he and Frank made their way up to the dormitory. Frank was talking enthusiastically about facing the Boggart on Monday, as Professor Loughran had told them at dinner that he had managed to locate one in the castle. As Frank was going through the finer points of exactly what he was going to do to his spider (he had arachnophobia {a/n It's common, leave me alone}), they entered the dorm. Remus was fast asleep, looking, as he always did, rather pale, whilst Sirius and Peter were having another spirited, though quiet conversation about the forthcoming Quidditch World Cup. James suddenly felt very tired himself. Wishing goodnight to Sirius, Peter and Frank, he changed into his pyjamas and fell asleep, without even removing his glasses.

Don't bother putting into your reviews (if you write them) that I have blatantly copied Chapter 7 of PoA, because I already know! And don't try and get me sued by JKR either (I doubt she needs the…twenty-eight pence that I currently have). It all belongs to her anyway; I just had to incorporate the Boggart so we can all see Remus being frightened by crystal balls (and I have to think of something that would scare Sirius – if you have any ideas about what might scare people, tell me in your review).

Ciao