What Matt and Nimoy Have in Common
Leonard Nimoy, that is.
A/N: What you are about to read is true…well, most of it
is. I kid you not.
Are you spoiling future episodes for your fellow
Americans again?
Yes, Matt, I am. Now get back in the fanfic and stop trying to swipe my "author boldface print." Only I'm allowed to do that.
You're just mad because I won't be in the next season
of Digimon.
Yes, I am. Stupid Toei has to ruin it for all of us.
In the future (the year 2027, specifically) Matt goes through quite a few unexpected changes. First of all, he cuts his hair. My fellow fanficcers, I kid you not. Matt loses the longer, pretty locks and ends up with a short 'do resembling a blonde version of his dad's hair. Second of all, he completely gives up music. For all of you who thought our Yama would grow up to be a rock star or another Kenny G, sadly that does not occur. He grows up and becomes an astronaut. An astronaut! Joe fulfills his dream of becoming a doctor…who saw that one coming? *everyone raises their hands* But Matt becomes an astronaut?! Yup, he does. And finally, his marital status. Sora Takenouchi died. In her place is one Sora Ishida. She and Matt have two children, a daughter and son who are as nameless as Trowa of Gundam Wing. Grace and Sandrilene, knowing me the best, would figure that I've been running around demolishing things by now. After falling out of my computer chair not once but twice, I have recovered and decided to retaliate with a little fanfic, which would be this. If you're wondering where I am in all this, don't worry, I'll show up. Oh, and if you really, really want to see Matt and his little family, click here. Just ignore that doofus next to Matt.
~*~
"Spacewalks. I hate spacewalks," Gabumon grumbled, suiting up.
"Face it like a mon, Gabu. You lost the toss," Matt pointed out.
"It was rigged! There's no gravity in space! You tricked me!"
"At least this time we're only out repairing the ISS since the Americans are stuck in the middle of another hurricane and the Russians are busy spying on the Americans."
"Yeah, but when you said we were going to repair the International Space Station I thought you meant fix a light fixture or the plumbing, not do a spacewalk!"
"Stop whining and start fixing."
Gabumon groaned and headed outside to fix the space station, while the other crewmembers assisted from inside. Matt just happened to be heading towards the galley for a "JSA-Approved" Capri Sun when the "phone" started ringing conveniently.
A/N: JSA stands for Japanese Space Administration. It's the Japanese version of NASA.
The "phone" was actually a TV screen the size of your average PC, an Internet connection, and a real-time digital camera. Matt flicked on the TV screen and slipped a nearby headset on.
"This is the JSS Friendship, go ahead."
"Well, well, well, if it isn't the great Commander Ishida. Small universe after all," a familiar voice retorted. A hazy image appeared on the screen, causing Matt to groan in annoyance.
"T.K., I don't care if you're writing a novel about me, I told you not to call me at work!"
T.K. grew up to be a novelist and has a mullet, a son who looks just like he did when he was younger, and both Batpig and a Tokomon to worry about. We do not know who he married, some stranger that isn't Kari. Kari married some stranger too, so Davis didn't win out.
"Don't shoot the messenger! I've got three people here who've been threatening to slow torture Patamon if I didn't call you."
"Oh? Is that so? Well, if that's true, then put them on or I'll have my Gundam Wing buddies squish that Batpig to a Batpig Pancake."
There was some frantic jerking of the camera on T.K.'s side before Sora and the two kids were shown on the TV screen.
"Hi Daddy!" the kids cried, trying to be seen over the desktop at the Takaishi apartment.
"Matt, your daughter needs to be lectured on proper behavior," Sora said through her teeth, her eyes narrowed. "She beat up Tai's son."
"He was making fun of our family! I will not let some big-haired loser make fun of my daddy!" the girl (the blonde one who looks like Yama) argued.
"So you beat up the little squeaker?" Matt asked, a grin slowly setting in. "Good girl!"
"Matt!" his wife gasped.
"When are gonna come home?" his son (the redheaded cutie) whimpered.
"The day after tomorrow, I promise."
"Matt! Gabumon's lost the pliers! Got a spare pair?" one of the payload specialists called from the next room.
"Ugh, gotta go. Be good, you two," he said, winking to his kids.
"Yes, Daddy."
"And Sora?"
"Hm?"
"Leave a light on for me, okay?"
"Okay. Be careful, Matt."
"I will, I promise."
~*~
Meanwhile, on Earth and elsewhere in Japan…
"Slow down, woman! I can only float so fast!"
Wizardmon was hurrying across a crosswalk after a dark haired woman who was storming down the street, a folder tucked under her arm.
"Lia Agianna!" he hollered, causing her to pause and glance over her shoulder.
"What? I'm going to be so late, and you know the CEO isn't allowed to be late!"
Oh, justice is so sweet. I would have grown up to be the author of young adult books, but a swift change of mind has put me as the CEO of Toei animation. And surprisingly, I'm not bitter that Matt married Sora. It's all that Sorato I read.
"Toei Studios is that way. You're headed for the subway station. Are we going to Odaiba? To visit a certain ex-boyfriend, his wife, and kids? The kids that he appointed you to be godmother of?"
"I'm headed for the subway station to get to the network borders. Yama's in trouble and if I don't do something my godchildren will be about as fatherless as Cody Hida, Attorney at Law."
Cody grew up to be a lawyer and has a daughter who looks like Madison from Card Captors.
A/N: She judges people too, Sherman.
"And you're going to do what about it? He's in space, woman! Unless you just happen to be Heero Yuy you ain't going nowhere!"
Lia grinned sadistically and kept walking. "Maybe I am."
~*~
"Ninety nine Marshmallow Peeps on the wall, ninety nine Marshmallow Peeps…you take one down, fling it around, ninety eight Marshmallow Peeps on the wall!" Gabumon sang, chasing a floating Peep around the space shuttle.
"Hey! Get that Peep before it makes a mess of the equipment! An object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon by another force!" a mission specialist cried.
"Maybe we should take that Peep into the lab and run some experiments on it," Matt suggested.
"Like that website?" another payload specialist asked excitedly. Matt was about to reply when there was a loud bang on the shuttle hull, causing alarms to go off everywhere. The crew of the JSS Friendship clamored to figure out what was wrong.
"There's something out there!"
"Get a visual!" Matt ordered, pointing to a "lackey."
Half a second later the Cambot of the Japanese spacecraft was projecting a disturbing image of the exterior goings-on.
"Hello kiddies, I'm here to tell you a story! Once upon a time there were these Digidestined who thought it would be fun to blow up the Dark Masters. Little did they know that when their funny-voiced bondage angel sent Piedmon into a purply-pink void he'd be able to come back and wreak havoc on them in the future when they're forty years old and going through midlife crises. Ha!"
"Uh Gabumon?"
"Yeah Matt?"
"Is it my imagination or is that Piedmon floating outside our space shuttle and both breathing and speaking to us despite no oxygen?"
"That's Piedmon floating around outside our space shuttle and both breathing and speaking to us despite no oxygen…and he's brought reinforcements!"
Behind Piedmon were Hello Kitty and her bunny, Alf, and half a million Marshmallow Bunnies and Marshmallow Peeps, all looking very irate.
A/N: This one's for you, Sherman…and Meg.
"I'd like to welcome you to the Valley of Duckies and Bunnies…the Valley of Murderous, Bloodthirsty Duckies and Bunnies, mind you. And if you try and stop me, you geezer of a Digidestined, I will just have to make you into a novelty keychain."
"That's right! And I'll hug you too!" Hello Kitty added.
"And then I'll send you into TV Land Purgatory where you will spend the rest of your existence with Charlie's Angels and Taxi," Alf stated with his puppety antics.
"What are we gonna do?" the other pilot wailed.
"Dammit Jim, I'm an astronaut, not Rambo!" Matt snapped. "Gabumon, digivolve and take him down!"
"Um, hello? We can't do that. I won't be able to fit into my spacesuit and Metalgarurumon kinda needs to breathe in order to attack."
"So we're screwed, aren't we?" Matt sighed as sugarcoated multicolored marshmallows surrounded their ship.
~*~
Sora and her kids were vegging out on the couch, eating popcorn and watching something on the Wonderful World of Disney. You know, some fluffy cartoon movie that always ends happily. Either that or some fluffy, cheaply made, cheaply special effected live action movie where everyone ends up happy. So they were all cuddled up…that is, until the phone rang.
"Hello, Ishida residence. What?! He's what?!" Sora went pale and nearly fell over.
"What's going on?" the boy asked his sister.
"I dunno, but Mommy doesn't sound happy."
"Is it Daddy?" he whispered, wide-eyed and scared.
"Well, is there anything you can do about it? No, I can't! I…the kids…what can…but…so what will happen? What about my Matt?"
"Matt…that's Daddy," the girl whispered, clutching close to her Yokomon. The boy did likewise to his Tsunomon. Biyomon wrapped a wing around the both of them.
"He'll be okay, Gabumon is with him. Gabumon wouldn't let anything happen to your dad."
~*~
"Take Matt! You can have Matt, just spare me!" Gabumon wailed, shoving a suited-up Matt towards the shuttle doors.
"Hey! Are you trying to get me killed?"
"If it means the safety of this crew, sure!"
"But that's Mattricide!"
"Tough cookies."
"But I'm the one with the Crest of Friendship, Tai got the Crest of Courage!"
"That doesn't mean you can be a wuss! Get out there!"
Poor Matt was shoved towards the recesses of space and the attack Peeps. Hello Kitty, her bunny, and Alf watched on with some sick sort of amusement.
"C'mon Piedmon, can't we strike some sort of deal? I've got a wife and kids back on Earth and if I die then…"
"Then that's one less Digidestined dimwit I have to worry about. Attack!"
Suddenly there was a loud explosion and bits of burnt marshmallow went flying. Matt turned in time to see six huge robotic…robots come hurtling out of hyperspace.
"What the…?" Piedmon yelped.
"Gundam units?" Matt whispered before passing out.
"This is Heero Yuy, we advise you to surrender."
"And this is the nameless warrior known as Trowa Barton. Go back to where you came from."
A/N: Heero and Trowa have about as much expression as I have love for Jeff Nimoy. Read their lines in a deadpan monotone.
"And take your Easter treats with you!" Duo Maxwell added.
"Can't you just find it in your heart to leave him alone?" Quatre R. Winner asked.
Chang Wufei narrowed his eyes. "Or else we'll have to hurt YOU!" he pointed out, unnecessarily shouting the last word of his sentence.
"I don't think I will. Hmmm, I don't think I have any Gundam Wing keychains. I'll have to start my collection. Marshmallow Troops, go!" Piedmon hollered.
"Not this time, clown. You're not getting away with anything. Quatre, get Commander Ishida! Heero, Duo, take down that kitty! Trowa, Wufei, get rid of that mop. Piedmon is mine," the anonymous pilot in the fem version of Wing Zero commanded. And no, it's not Relena.
"Ooh, I'm so scared. Who are you to be telling we what to do, anyways?" Piedmon questioned.
The Gundam pilots were happy to oblige as the girl in Wing Zero-Two went into battle against the Big Gay Clown.
"I'm Preventor Faith, and I can't allow you to harm this ship. The crew of the Friendship have no arguments against you; if you want to cause trouble, you've found it in me."
Quatre had somehow managed to get Matt inside the cockpit of Sandrock along with himself and uncoupled his helmet. Matt woke up just as little Quatre was lifting his goggles up in a very Davis-like pose.
"You're…you're Quatre Winner."
"And you're Commander Matt Ishida. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've been told a lot about you."
"By who?"
Quatre didn't answer, he was too busy concentrating on hacking those bunnies and Peeps to bits.
"Having fun yet, Hello Kitty?" Duo snickered as Deathscythe raised its death scythe.
"You wouldn't hurt me, would you? Can't we be friends?"
Heero brought Wing Zero's sword down on the kitty, and she exploded into bits of Lucky Charm marshmallows. Her bunny companion took off. Trowa fired a round of shots into Alf and Wufei chucked him into a black hole.
"That's what you get for messing with Gundam PILOTS!"
"So…Preventor Faith, what are you doing later?" Piedmon asked, very much like Alex, the kid in my gym class that tried hitting on me and failed because he called me by something that definitely wasn't my name. It wasn't even close.
"I shot that gym class dimwit down, I can shoot you down just as well."
"Hey Faith, don't leave us out of the fun! I can't stand clowns…eh, no offense, Trowa," Duo said, grinning sheepishly as Trowa shot him an evil look.
"I told you, take care of his platoons. I have a great many favors to repay for this man, and I will not rest until I have repaid him for his love and devotion. And now, Piedmon, you will die!"
And the preventor in Wing Zero-Two pulled out a katana and sliced Piedmon six ways from Sunday. Upon falling to pieces, the Big Gay Clown melted into a pile of gooey makeup and clothes with no color coordination.
"C'mon boys, let's drop the Commander off and get a pizza," Faith suggested.
"Sounds good," Heero replied.
"But you always suggest gross TOPPINGS!"
"I have no pizza. If you must call me anything, call me No-Pizza."
"Then let's agree to disagree and order Chinese," Quatre said.
"Maybe the gang on the Friendship will give us some freeze dried Go-Gurt instead. Oh yeah, gotta love yogurt in a tube," Duo sighed sarcastically.
The Gundam pilots made sure the Marshmallow Peeps and Bunnies were completely destroyed and then completed their little mission for the day.
~*~
"Oh, so you couldn't even save yourself? The Gundam pilots had to rescue you, huh?" Gabumon snorted, his arms folded across his chest as Matt and the pilots entered the shuttle. The five regular cast members removed their helmets, glancing around.
"This is a very primitive SPACESHIP!"
"It's also vuhrrry echspenshive," yet another nameless and pointless mission specialist said in a Mr. Dink tone of voice.
"I owe you my life, Miss Faith. If there's anything I can do to…" Matt's voice trailed off as the sixth Gundam pilot removed her helmet. "Dear sweet Digigods."
"The only thing you need to do is send those kids of yours for a visit once in a while. I can teach them how to pester the American Dubbers and how to get their way in everything," Lia said, grinning at her former boyfriend.
Former?
You're still my boyfriend! You'll always be my boy…oh wait, that won't work if we get married. This is just for this fanfic!
It better be.
You know how much I rebel against the producers…but it could've been worse.
Yeah, I could've married someone creepy…or years
younger than me.
~*~
The Ishida family waited impatiently and nervously at JSA Ground Control, fearing the worst but praying for the best. Yokomon, Tsunomon, and Biyomon tried to comfort their human companions, and Sora put on a brave expression for her children.
"I am an Ishida, I do not give up hope," the little girl murmured, staring out the window.
"Daddy," the little boy whispered, tears clutching in his eyes.
"I left the light on for you," Sora breathed, her hands clasped in prayer. Finally the shuttle was seen descending, skidding across the runway, landed with a jerk. People held their breaths as the doors opened.
"Mommy, look! There he is!"
Sora's head jerked up, her gaze following her daughter's outstretched fingers to the tarmac, where Matt wearily stepped down onto firm ground. She grabbed kids and digimon and sprinted out to the runway, shrieking and sobbing as she flung herself into Matt's arms.
"How did you ever survive?"
"I had a little help from a fairy godmother…and a bunch of mobile suits."
"I knew you'd be okay, Daddy, I knew it."
"Daddy!"
While the joyous scene unfolded, Lia and Wizardmon slipped away into the shadows quietly.
"You still love him, don't you?"
"Nah, I've got Quatre, Duo, and some guy named Tokiwa from the Dr. Rin show that looks just like him. There are plenty of Japanese fish in the sea."
"Are you serious?"
"No. Of course I love him, baka! Are you kidding me? I could've redone this fanfic but his kids are too cute to tamper with."
"Oh. That's the Lia Agianna I was hoping to hear. This fanfic made no sense, you know."
"But at least we didn't have the Pork Knight show up…or the Austin Powers Trio for that matter."
"I was kind of expecting more than just a Gundam Wing crossover out of it though. Weren't you going to have Van Fanel and Sailor Mercury in it?"
"Originally, but they didn't feel right in this…hey, you're ruining the mood!"
"Me? You're the one yammering!"
"You started it!"
~*~
Yeah, that was kind of stupid and pointless, but I've been dying to blab to everyone that Yama's an astronaut. And I wanted to show off his kids too. Aren't they cute? I hope Toei decides to do something with everyone's kids eventually because from where I'm standing 03 looks lame. Digimon Tamers has no connection with Digimon Adventure (or Digimon: Digital Monsters) other than the word "Digimon." If they hadn't already done up commercials, pictures and merchandising, I'd say just use the future generation of originals. But that's my opinion, which means very little. So, go ahead and review, tell me what you think of the Ishida crew…as well as Matt and Tai's hair…or lack of hair for that matter. At least they aren't bald.
"That's one small
step for mon, one giant leap for monkind."