It had been two weeks since they reunited, and for some reason, she didn't feel the way she knew she should have. In the beginning, it all seemed like a fairy tale; she couldn't believe he was there. Now, as she glanced to her left at the man who came back to claim her, she wasn't sure what to think; why did she still feel so…empty?
He was sitting on the park bench next to her, but he wasn't looking at her; he was paying more attention to Justin who was playing on the playground. What had gone wrong? He rarely even touched her; it was almost as if his presence here was only by a sense of duty. Sometimes, even though he seemed to be aware of his surroundings, she could tell that he was preoccupied with other matters.
"He's a great kid, you brought him up well, but I was thinking Usagi…" She was thrown slightly off kilter when he began to speak. "I think he needs more discipline…when we get married, I'm going to send him to a boarding school. That'll teach him how to be a respectable gentleman. Don't you think so?"
"I-I don't know James, he's just a kid. He's only five years old." She looked to him with weary eyes; she didn't want Justin to leave her.
"Perfect age to start. When I was that age, I was sent to boarding school, and look at the man I have become. I have a son and the most beautiful fiancée in the world. Where could he go wrong?"
"Well, I guess you are right…where could he go wrong." She began softly. "I just…I just don't think he's ready for that."
"Oh, Usagi, you're the one who's not ready, you don't want to see him go. But you have to let go. I'll be with you all the time to keep you company." He placed his arm around her in a comforting matter.
"I see you've already thought this through on your own. Nice of you to include me in on our lives." She shrugged away from him and turned her head.
"Oh, grow up Usagi and get off that high cloud you're on, you have to get off it sometime! Life is about letting go…it's just something that we all have to learn to do." She didn't reply; she merely kept her eyes on Justin on the playground.
"Where's that blasted woman? She's late…again!" Darien exclaimed to his guards as he paced back and forth in his waiting room.
"Well, you know women, they have to be fashionably late." Nephlite laughed. They were all waiting on Serenity to arrive with her court and Darien was going hysterical. He would never want what happened to Serena to happen to any woman, not on his watch at least. Serenity had asked for permission to go to travel afoot from her palace with only her senshi to guard her. Why, he would never know; heck, he would never understand women period.
"What if something happened to her, what if someone took her what if…damnit, doesn't she care that there is someone out there worried about-?"
"Relax Darien, she's with the other princesses, she'll be OK. Who would attack her?" Jedite retorted, cutting Darien off.
"Yeah, and plus, there's a rumor that says the legendary sailor senshi watch over her secretly as well." Zoycite added.
"Look, I'm going to my private chambers, if she turns up send her there." Frustrated, he walked out of the room in a huff.
"I've never seen him so bothered, confused, and mad at the same time. Right now he's worse than me." Jedite commented when Darien left.
"That woman brings out a side in him that I've never seen, maybe they truly belong to each other." Smiling, Nephlite glanced in the direction to which Darien had left.
"That side of Endymion that you see, I've seen it before and it's not necessarily a good thing…at least not all the time it isn't." Malachite retorted.
"I don't understand." Nephlite inquired.
"It means he isn't getting what he wants." Zoycite put down the book he was reading and took off his glasses.
"Well then, what does he want?" Jedite asked and the room fell silent.
Darien sat in his chair facing the window; he didn't understand his feelings.
Why am I so upset with Serenity for being late? Damnit! Can't I make a simple decision in my life? Serenity or Serena? Maybe I should just consider what I want from them? What is that anyway? He sighed heavily as he slipped his fingers haggardly through his ravenous locks. I want love…I want children, I want to settle down…Serenity doesn't seem to want those things…but Serena does. Do I love Serena, or am I just upset because she's been taken away and I can't have her for myself? When I made love to Serenity it was intense, but when I made love to Serena, for some reason it felt…different. It was special somehow… His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the door creek. "Where have you been?" He asked coldly without facing her.
"I had to have an important meeting with my court." She said blankly as she walked over to the window that he was sitting in front of and stood with her back to him. "It does happen when you are in a position of authority."
"Funny, I'm in that position, and yet I find myself cleaning my schedule so that I could meet…you." His reply was quick and cynical as he looked on her with uncaring eyes. When she finally turned to face him, he took note of her appearance; from what he could tell, she was wearing a white long trench coat…and nothing else.
"What's the matter with your wardrobe today, run out of clothes?" he said coldly.
"It's from Earth…I like it." She twirled around as if show casing it's style.
"I know where it's from…but I think you know very well what I'm talking about."
"Darling are you mad at me?" Pouting lips and round eyes starred back at him as she approached him slowly.
"Don't pout, it's not becoming of you, and it's not cute."
"How about this, is this becoming of me, is this cute." She untied the belt of the coat and allowed it slip to the ground, her hand tip his chin up to look at her. "I got it from this store they call Victoria's Secret…which is no secret as far as I am concerned." She giggled when his eyes glanced over the crème bra, panty and garter strap set she was wearing as she was bent in front of his so that her breasts were hanging before him. For a moment his eyes wandered down and hung there, before snapping out of his stupor; the temptation was great, but not enough.
"S-Serenity, I'm, I'm not in the mood." He finally said coldly.
"You can't tell me, that you're not interested Endymion." She said with a smile and then sat on him with one leg on either side of his thigh.
"Could you not call me that?" He retorted angrily. Why is it that suddenly everything she does is so unnerving? "I-I look Serenity, I don't want this anymore so just, just put back on your clothes, wherever they may be, and go to your room."
"If this is your way of winning my love, it's not working." She laughed.
Doesn't she get it? He screamed in his mind, he was getting more agitated by the second. "Look, Serenity, I'm confused, I'm stressed out, in fact, I'm a lot of things I don't understand right now, but there are a few things I do know. First of all, I want you to get off of me. Second, I don't want this, I don't want to be king of the Universe, I don't want to be Endymion, in fact, I don't think I want to be the king of Earth anymore. I have strong feelings for someone else, and I-I have to find out what she feels about me."
"She?" she paused and got off of him and covered herself. "You mean another woman?" she paused. "Well, this is new." She tied the belt in place as she stood facing away from him once more. "I can see it now, Princess Serenity, the beauty of the universe, left by another man. Or how about Serenity's heart, broken in two, by Endymion…hmph, what's the whore's name anyway?"
"Her name is Serena for your information!" He spat angrily as he looked upon her with indifference.
"My lady in waiting?" She arched her brow suddenly with a smile on her face that meant she was definitely up to something.
"I don't know what you're thinking, but get it out of your head now." He wondered briefly if Serenity had the power to stop the relationship; if she did, would she be that cold as to do that to him?
"Go, go to Serena…don't worry." Here she smiled triumphantly. "You'll come back to me."
"You'll have to wait a long time for that." He got up from his seat and left the room suddenly, her smile making him wonder.
When she made that face earlier, for some reason it just didn't fit; whenever Serena did it, it looked really adorable. On Serenity it just looks like a seductive move. That's what is so fucking aggravating! Maybe I don't want sex all the time…sometimes I want to talk…I barely know anything about her but what she looks like naked for pete's sake! Is that all she thinks I think about? Listen to me go on, since when did I become the type a man who didn't think the way she assumes I do?
She had sent Justin off to bed for the night, and now both her and James were talking, basically about nothingness. Inwardly, she felt troubled about what her heart was feeling; for days now she want to ask him something that would help her to be sure if she was doing the right thing. She had decided that tonight would have to be the night to bring it up; but she just didn't know how. It had kept her occupied and distant for so long that she finally just blurted it out.
"James do you love me?"
"Usagi?" He looked up at her with questioning eyes as she picked up his empty plate from the table.
"Well, I-uh-what I wanted to say is…do you love me?"
"That's what you said the first time." He retorted.
"Yes, I know."
"Usagi, how could you ask me such a thing, you know I care for you and Justin more than anything in the world!" He looked very passionate about his words, but yet, he still hadn't said what she wanted to hear.
"That's not what I asked you." Weary eyes glanced at quivering hands as she rinsed the dish and placed it in the sink.
"I can't believe you're questioning me on this." Angrily, looked upon her, his hands gripping the edge of the table.
"Lately, I've felt as if you have been distant, in fact, I-I think it's always been this way. If you just said those three words to me once I could be certain that I'm not doing the wrong thing! I-I don't want you to think you must marry me because of Justin. I can take care of myself, and I would let you see him whenever you wanted. If you're doing this just because of our son, then…I can't be with you." She quickly walked over to grab his cup and silverware when he grabbed her arm and held tightly.
"You can't leave me." He said sternly.
"You're hurting me!" Frightened by the anger she saw in his eyes, she pulled away from him quickly.
"I'm sorry, I just-"
"Get out!" She cried.
"What did you say?" His voice grew cold once more at her words.
"I said get out!" She attempted to show bravery even as her hands continued to quiver as she pointed towards the door; when he stood their immobile, she lifted his ring off her finger and threw it out the door. "It's over." She whispered as she attempted to keep tears in check.
"All right, but you're going to wish this never happened." He walked to the door, cold brown orbs never leaving her vision.
"Just Get Out!" She slammed the door behind him, locked the doors, broke down, and cried.
"You're going to stay at Grandma's, OK baby?" She began solemnly with tired eyes; that was the term Queen Serenity had told her to tell him to address her as. "I'm sure you'll have lot's of fun playing with Galen." She zipped up the jacket that he was wearing, and sighed as she rubbed her hands up and down over his arms. She didn't really want him to go, but she just needed some time alone, and she didn't want her son to be a witness to her breaking down.
"OK mummy." He replied. "Have fun OK, I love you."
"I will baby, and I love you too."
He walked up to the dock that was before the small lake in the park. He didn't know how he knew she was there, all he knew was that he felt linked to her somehow; and he used that to find her. He approached her quietly and just stood beside her while not announcing himself. She was sitting there with her knees up to her chin just starring at the sun on the horizon; she stayed facing the water and began to speak.
"Wow, de'ja vu." She replied plainly without turning to face him. He sat down beside her and let his legs hang.
"How have you been?" He asked. It was silent for a moment before she gave him a one word curt reply.
"Fine."
"So…how's the wedding plans coming along?" He was almost afraid to ask.
"Better than expected." Her voice was slightly bitter and sarcastic, but he was so intent on their meaning, that he didn't catch the tone.
"Oh, I see." He attempted to smile, but his body was churning inside.
"It's canceled, it wasn't working out." She continued in one breath.
"Sorry about that." His demeanor suddenly changed with those words, it meant that he had a chance after all. He smiled; she mistook it for gloating.
"Go ahead Darien, rub it in. You have the perfect life, the power, the princess, and I have what; a kid, a couple of friends here and there, and a broken heart. So just yuck it up, laugh, do whatever. Darien Wales, King Endymion, you'll always have the perfect life. As for me, I was doomed to find the first man who loved me, and I finally did, only he doesn't love me anymore...in fact...he thought of me and Justin as a chore." She brought up her hand to wipe her tear stained face. "Why'd you come here anyway? To remind me of how I'm a failure in life?"
"Why do you think I would do that?" He was hurt that she actually thought that of him, he hoped that it didn't mean she didn't feel anything towards him. "Why don't you let me tell you why I'm here? Why don't you just listen to me for a second?"
"Last time I listened to you, we ended up in bed together." She laughed bitterly; it really wasn't funny. That one night had changed her whole life forever, and she would be doomed to never forget it.
"Serena." His voice delivered an agitated tone that she knew meant he was serious. She sighed before becoming somber once again. "All right, I'm listening."
"My life is not perfect." He breathed. "In fact, I came here to talk to you because lately, I've felt that there maybe something stronger between us than friendship." She opened her mouth to speak but he placed once finger over her lips. "Let me finish…in my eyes, you have a better life than my own. Neither of our lives are perfect Serena. Mine is just a fairy tale, yours, yours is real. I've always wanted to live my fairy tale life…wealth, power, knight in shining armor who saves the day and gets the princess…but now…now I realize, who says that fairy tales end with happily ever after?" He paused. "I want to know what I'm doing wrong? Why is us getting together such a hard thing? Is there a chance that you could be mine, that I can win you? That I could have you as my own? I want…I want us to talk, to figure out between us where we want to go with this…" He placed her hands in his own and rubbed them slowly while looking into her eyes.
"Win me?" The words stilled on her tongue as she thought of a way to respond to him. "Endymion, that's nice…I'm-I'm happy you think you've found you're place in life, but its not enough for me." She was stuttering again…he knew something was wrong. "You can't…you can't win me like some damn trophy! And I can't live my life knowing that you're just going to be around to see if you want to stick around or not, that's not what I want or need. I want more, I need more, and I can't operate any other way. I can't live with a man who thinks he feels something stronger than friendship for me. I already know where I want to go with this…and if you don't know by now…" She wanted to say the words so badly, but she didn't want him to return them just because she had said them first.
"Serena, what do you want? I don't know of more I could give you." She removed her hands from his and stood, her knees shaking and her legs slightly unstable; she wasn't sure if she could do what she was about to do.
"I can't tell you what I want, because then I won't know if you will be there to stay or if you're just giving it to me to make me stay with you." She cupped his cheek in her palm and he gripped her hand firmly, holding it to his face and closing his eyes as a tear fell down his cheek; he realized what she was about to do. He kissed each and every inch of her hand; he didn't want to let go. "When you finally figure it out, you'll know where to find me…and then I'll be yours...forever." She released her hand slowly from his grip, turned around, and walked away.
Darien walked out of the bathroom with a towel in his hand. He had just finished taking a cold shower; it was all he could do to try and get Serena off his mind. He had one towel draped tightly around his waist and his hair was dripping wet. His eyes glanced over to where Malachite was sitting at his desk, looking at some new building plans.
"Look at this towel Malachite, it's dirty. Why is this towel dirty? Didn't the maid do the wash?" He walked back to the bathroom to get another one, his demeanor cold. Malachite arched his brow at his insane friend as he walked away with the clean towel. "And look, this towel is also dirty!" He pulled it out and threw it on the floor angrily; Malachite starred at him in wonder as he stood in the bathroom starring at the closet. "In fact, all of these towels are filthy! What is it? The maids day off!" He removed the towels of the rack, and threw them all onto the floor to join the first; his body was heaving greatly as he gasped for breath. Malachite stood up to comfort him when he suddenly entered the room once more and started throwing items that were on his desk on the floor. "Nothing about this room is perfect! Why…why can't for once people flow with me instead of against me! Why can't they see that that would make me happy! Why can't she see that I'm miserable without her? Why can't she see that I LOVE HER?" He finally blurted out and fell to the ground on his knees, burying his hands in his face. For the first time since he could remember, Malachite stood in shock, as his long time friend just cried.
"Darien..." Malachite voice barely filtered into his ears. "You ever tell her that?" All of a sudden Darien stilled, his body going rigid.
"How could I be so blind?" He wiped his face, trying to hide the tears, even though he knew that his friend had already seen them. "She practically gave herself to me, told me that's what she wanted, and all I could say is that I didn't know how to give…I'm going to her." His mind became resolved as he continued. "And I'm going to tell her how I feel, without masking anything."
"Now that's the way a King of Earth should act." Malachite commended him with smile, patting his back lightly.
"Ex-King of Earth. Thanks Malachite, you've been much help, and now I know what I have to do. I renounce my crown. I don't want it anymore. Give it to whomever you like, I'm going to tell Queen Serenity that I'm through with these worthless challenges, they have caused me nothing but heartache." He walked out the door wearing nothing but the towel.
"Endymion, your clothes!" Malachite shouted down the hallway from Darien's bedroom. He watched unbelievingly as his formal wear morphed onto his body as he walked past his guards.
"How did he learn to do that?" Jedite exclaimed.
"I tell you the man's insane," added Nephlite.
"No…he's in love" Malachite retorted.
"And it's about time too." Zoycite added.
Serena was on her balcony starring out into the horizon when she heard a knock on the door.
Darien…He came. A smile erupted on her face at the thought.
"Come in!" She yelled from the balcony. Moments later she felt warm arms encircling her. "You know what you want?" She asked wearily.
"You." A dark male voice said.
"Darien?" She turned around to stare into an all too familiar brown eyes.
"Not exactly." Were the words the last words she heard before she screamed.