Opportunities
by Jacque Koh
Beta-read by Lori McDonald
"HOW THE HELL COULD YOU KEEP THIS FROM US??!!"
Joe had not stopped screaming since Ken threw them out of his room.
Nambu reached up to pinch the skin between his eyes before he turned his gaze towards the other members of the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman.
They were all currently in the briefing room. Joe was in top form; ranting and raving like a madman. Jun and Jinpei were still silent and shell shocked at the revelation. Ryu had sunk into himself with guilt, and it was he who was the current object of the Condor's ire.
"Joe, this was Ken's request." Nambu spoke quietly, trying to turn his anger away from Ryu. "And please stop shouting."
"We are a team! How could you keep this from us?!"
"It was Ken's decision to be silent, this was not a team concern. Katse wanted to break Gatchaman and destroy the morale of the team. And the method he chose was rape." Nambu stared him down. "I've talked to Ken. He understood Katse's intentions and with the recordings destroyed, he didn't want you to be troubled by what he went through."
"So what did we just see? They're legitimate, aren't they?! Those recordings are real!" Joe swung towards Ryu again. "If the recordings were destroyed, how did Galactor get their hands on them again?!!"
"I--I destroyed them. That was the only disk. I ripped it to pieces." Ryu choked through his tears, "I don't know--I--I--Oh my God!"
"What?!"
"Katse was talking to the base commander about the rape, that's when--that's when I found out what they did to Ken. The base commander was transmitting some parts of the playback."
"AND YOU DIDN'T STOP HIM??!!!"
"I wasn't sure if I could take on a whole base without the bird style. If I attacked him then, the alarm would have been raised! I had to find out where they were holding Ken."
"As if he needed you! You said so yourself, Ken met you in the control room without your needing to look for him!"
"Joe! Stop this! Ryu couldn't have known! He did what was right at that time!" Nambu slammed his fist on the table, making all of them look at him in surprise. "Joe, look at the team now. This is *exactly* why Ken didn't want to tell you what happened. He didn't want to destroy the team."
"F&%K THE TEAM! KATSE HAD HIM GANG RAPED AND SOMEONE HAS TO PAY FOR IT!"
"But is it fair for us to blame Ryu?" Jun finally spoke.
"Huh?"
"Ryu was only doing what we've all been trained to do. Use our heads to know when it would be an appropriate time to attack and gain advantage of the situation. He waited, despite his own feelings, and attacked and killed the base commander once it was safe to do so." Jun looked up at Joe, "If he hadn't, he would have risked capture and lost the opportunity to destroy the video disk."
"In view of the danger to the video disk, Katse could have asked the base commander to transmit the full contents immediately for safekeeping. Katse could have had it all instead of only the snippets that the base commander showed him."
Joe took a step back and looked ashamed.
"If I had got there before the conversation took pl--"
"You wouldn't have known about the disk." Joe interrupted Ryu, "And if you didn't know, you couldn't have destroyed it and Katse would have easily recovered it from the wreckage. I'm--I'm sorry I yelled at you, Ryu. Ken was right. You're blameless. I'm sorry."
Ryu still couldn't look up to them. Whatever words of comfort were said, the big man would still feel some guilt for what had happened.
Joe turned to look over his other teammates. Jun had spoken for a while, but she withdrew once more into her own world as she hugged her knees to her chest. Jinpei... the boy hadn't spoken at all since Jun carted him out of Ken's room.
Just less than an hour ago, they had been laughing. Less than an hour ago, Ken had chosen to spare them from his nightmare. They were a team, they couldn't let him deal with this alone.
"Come on." Joe pulled on Ryu's shoulder and reached for one of Jun's hands. "Let's go back to talk to Ken."
"Joe, wait. Give Ken some time, he knows we'll be there for him. But he also needs some time on his own--"
A message alarm sounded on Nambu's desk console.
"Hakase, Gatchaman has left the base in the Eagle Sharp! He didn't file any flight plans--"
The Kagaku Ninjatai were immediately out of the door.
Ken circled the Eagle Sharp above the smoking airfield. In all the drama, he had almost forgotten his first fear when he had awakened as a Galactor prisoner.
Gone. It's all gone.>
Tears streamed down his face as he flew low over the smoking ruins that had been his home. An airfield, which his father had left to him... the last connection he had to his family. It was almost a certainty that he had lost everything. The sight of the smoking crater that marked his shack brought a fresh onslaught of tears.
It's all gone.>
The God Phoenix stayed in the clouds above the devastated airfield.
"They destroyed it," Joe whispered as he looked at the screens, "He's lost everything."
Ryu could no longer speak. His tears spoke enough for him, as did his white knuckled grip on the flight stick.
"Should we hail him, Joe?"
"No. Hakase is right, Ken knows that we are there to support him." Joe shook his head, "We've already angered him enough when we--when we tried to crowd him. He'll let us know when he'll be ready to talk to us."
As if to give concordance to Joe's statement, the Eagle Sharp swooped near the God Phoenix and waggled its wings to them before returning to Crescent Coral.
"Katse, you will pay for this." Joe muttered under his breath, "However long it takes, we will have our pound of flesh."
Nambu didn't have to lift his head to see who had entered when the door to his office banged open. He had been expecting this visitor from the moment the broadcast appeared.
"Kozaburo, how could you do this to me?"
Nambu looked up at Red Impulse, "Close the door first, I'll turn on the white sound generator."
Red Impulse snarled as he kicked the door shut behind him with enough force to rattle the pictures on the walls. Nambu had hardly flicked the switch on his table when the red uniformed man grabbed him by his lapels and pulled him over the table.
"I gave Ken into your care to protect him! How could you let this happen?!"
"Kentaro! I couldn't! I couldn't protect him! From the moment Ken volunteered to be part of the Kagaku Ninjatai project, he placed his life on the line. I couldn't stop him, he is his father's son." Nambu knocked his hands away. "When the Galactor Empire first appeared, there was always that chance... that risk that he'd never come back... that he or anyone of the other children would be injured, or hurt so badly they'd die, or... or--I never considered it'd actually--that Katse would actually--"
Kentaro Washio backed off. Pain and guilt was fairly rolling off the doctor, there was nothing to be done about the past. The Kagaku Ninjatai project was too important to lose. And Gatchaman was too important an icon for the fight against Galactor.
Even if he had wanted to, Kentaro knew that he couldn't pull Ken out of the project now. It would hurt him worse than any other abuse Katse could heap upon him.
"How is he?"
"He steeled himself to be tortured. It--it caught him by surprise, but he understands that the desired result was the same. Ken--Ken's refused to speak to the councilors. He promised that he'd work it out himself."
"That is good to hear."
"Kentaro, Ken needs his father. He's lost your airfield. The Galactors razed it to the ground several hours ago. He needs you."
Kentaro snorted, "Why? He did well enough without me for fourteen years."
Nambu could hear the deep bitterness in his voice. "And nothing like this has ever happened to him, or to anyone he's ever known before."
"He needs to talk to someone, but he won't talk to the team, to me, or to the councilors. He says one thing, but what's going through his mind?"
"He deals with it as Gatchaman, but it's Ken I'm worried about. He gave me a report." Nambu threw the folder he had been reading on the table in front of Kentaro. "He insisted he submit one for mission records and for us to have a chronicle of--of Galactor procedures."
"The mask slipped. He started to draw a line through everything he wrote--even blackening some paragraphs so that what he wrote couldn't be read. I took it from him, and--told him I'd rewrite it for him. I--I'll modify it for official records and debriefing."
Kentaro stared at the report as if it was a live viper. It took a moment for him to build up the nerve to reach for it and open it to read Ken's neat script. Nambu stayed silent as Kentaro started reading.
"Doctors? Shifts?!" His face paled as he looked up at his oldest friend.
"He--wouldn't say exactly how long the assault... "
"He almost escaped... but midway in the shift they decided to increase the number of--?" Kentaro's hands were crushing the folder. He didn't want to continue reading, but his eyes were dragged back to the next paragraph.
[I tried one more bid for freedom, but I didn't know the order had come down to use drugs. I wasn't expecting the Galactor behind me when I slipped the wrist manacles off. I felt the pin prick in my neck before I could reach the blindfold and I lost all remaining strength.]
[I never felt more powerless in my life. The drugs made it easier for them. They didn't need the restraints anymore while I almost wished for them back in place. It was safer for them now that I no longer had the strength to break free of their grip or to cause injury.]
[They just kept coming at me and I couldn't fight back anymore. Using me like a cheap whore. Making me swall--]
Kentaro couldn't read the sentences that followed since they were blackened. This went on for a few more lines, before the writing became legible again.
[I had to try to keep fighting them. They were recording this. Probably for propaganda showing of Galactor soldiers defiling and violating the Kagaku Ninjatai's White Shadow. I couldn't just give up. Gatchaman couldn't show defeat.]
[But my struggles weren't effective anymore. It just made the situation worse. I realized that my struggles were--exciting my attackers instead of discouraging them. It would be better if I--]
Again the writing became ineligible because of the lines drawn painstakingly across the words to render them non-decipherable.
[I couldn't hope to escape anymore, but I couldn't allow myself not to fight them. So when they revived me that last time, I woke up, but I faked unconsciousness. Better to pretend than to really pass out completely. I couldn't let myself be unconscious too long. The drugs were already taking a harsh enough toll. I was already close to the point of no return.]
[It took them so long to give up trying to revive me and finally leave me alone. I nearly passed out waiting for them, but I managed to fight it back. Before they left me, they replaced the manacles and this time tightened the slack so I couldn't move.]
[By pretending unconsciousness, I bought myself time enough to recover and regain my strength despite the un-officials who showed up. They eventually stopped coming. Probably deciding I was more enjoyable awake.]
[The next change of guard gave me an opportunity I dare not miss. As soon as the guard he relieved left, he came in and released my ankle restraints. I had him pinned before he could even get his fly down. I got him to tell me the locations of the barracks, the control room and where they were holding Ryu before I killed him.]
[It seemed like a good idea at that time, but my body was still in shock. I really wasn't ready to try and make a break for it. I barely clung on to consciousness as it was. The only thing keeping me going at that point was the knowledge that Ryu was still a prisoner. That and the Black Ray mecha.]
[According to the guard, it was already near the midnight shift, so most of the soldiers were in the barracks. I locked down the section for the barracks and sealed the lock before I went looking for Ryu. That would keep the majority of the soldiers off our backs if an alarm were raised.]
[I shouldn't have needed to worry about Ryu. He had already escaped his cell and I found him where I'd expected him to be. He was tearing a disk to pieces. I guessed it was the recordings, I didn't want to ask.]
Kentaro looked up at Nambu.
"The recordings were destroyed?"
"The complete set. Katse only had clips from a transmission with the base commander."
Nambu took the folder from Kentaro's hands before he could rip it to pieces.
"Go to him, Kentaro."
Red Impulse started to laugh, "And what? Step up to him and say, 'Ken, I'm the father who left you behind. I heard you were gang raped, so I thought you'd need to talk to your dad?'"
"Kentaro, isn't it time you tell your son the truth? Isn't it about time you stopped the lie?"
Kentaro Washio closed his eyes in memory of that difficult decision fourteen years ago. He thought it had been the hardest decision of his life, to fake his death and leave his sick wife and infant son in the care of his oldest friend.
It had ostensibly been to protect them from Galactor retaliation if his status as a spy was ever exposed. But the boy grew up to become Gatchaman, accepting with that position more danger than his father's status as a spy would ever thrust upon him.
"I can't, Kozaburo. His identity is out now. As long as the Galactors think he has no ties to anyone, they can't use him against me or me against him. Gatchaman is safer as he is, we can't compromise the icon he's become."
"Kentaro, he's your son! Stop thinking of him as a soldier! He's your son who isn't even old enough to be served at a bar!"
"I know, damn you! I know! I want to kill somebody for what he's gone through. I want to protect him! I want to hide him away from the war! But it'll kill him. He's Gatchaman first. He's Gatchaman."
"But under that mask, he's still Ken Washio, who just lost the last mementos of his family. He's still a boy who's been traumatized by rape!"
The two men stared at each other over the desk. The hum of the white sound generator sounded thunderous in their silence as fourteen years of tension clashed between them.
"How do you suggest I approach him, Kozaburo? I can't go to him as a father now. I haven't been his father for fourteen years. I don't know how to be one."
"You have to set the record straight sometime, Kentaro. You can't ignore it forever."
"I can't tell him now, Kozaburo. It'll only make things worse. But I will speak with him." Kentaro folded his arms and stared at his feet. "Humph, fat lot of good I'll do. I can't even approach him as a friend."
"Maybe--maybe that's what he'll need, Kentaro. He won't talk to his friends. He won't talk to the doctors. But maybe... he'll talk to a stranger he will trust."
"A stranger?" Kentaro could no longer hold back his tears. "But he's supposed to be my son."
"Get your lazy butt out of that chair and move it!"
"Huh?" Joe could not help but stare owlishly at Jun, who was now waving his car keys in front of his face.
"We're going to the Mall."
"What?" Before Joe could gather his thoughts, she had propelled him out the door and into the corridor where the others were waiting, also looking a bit chastised.
"I hate shopping." Jinpei mumbled.
This was the first time in a long while that Joe remembered hearing him speak. Ryu was hiding behind a pair of sunglasses. He was looking desperately hung over, but Jun was merciless as she herded them out of the ISO building.
"Jun--listen. We're not--"
"No, you lot listen to me. Ken just lost every memento that held any meaning to his life. We're going shopping for him. We're going to find and replace as much as we can find and give him more. Are you with me?"
"I could kiss you, Jun. I don't like shopping any more than Jinpei, but this sounds like a good plan."
Even Ryu started to smile. It was a good enough distraction, and it was for Ken.
"Jun, tell me again how we can afford this?" Joe glanced at her as they looked at an antique desk that they could swear was a twin to the much-loved desk Ken had had in his home office.
Joe could vouch for the similarities. It had been Ken's pride and joy, as it was his mother's desk. When Ken moved out of Nambu's house, Joe helped him to move the desk, bitching all the way because of its solid weight. It was like deja vu for him to be staring at the piece again. But the price tag was another matter.
"Hakase gave me his credit card."
"Heeeyyy."
"Sorry, only one large purchase and this is it. Hakase was the one who spotted it in the first place."
Joe folded his arms and pouted, "Cheapskate, but at least we've got one of his most important pieces."
Things started to look up from there. They were remembering the little things and the enduring quirks of their commander, which would permeate the things he owned. Ken was not a collector and he lived a mostly Spartan existence, but he had a few memorable items, which caused more than one of them to grin at the irrelevance of its position.
One of which was a bottle of novelty placebos (in truth jellybeans), on which was painted 'Sanity Control Pills' ostensibly prescribed by a 'Dr. I. D. Pressed,' which Ken displayed prominently on his desk. Ken had in all likelihood owned one of the first edition pieces. Jinpei managed to find one of the ninth editions and it was close enough.
The tin-plated Marvin the Martian pen rack was a little harder to locate, but not impossible. Most of his books were easy enough to buy though his hardcover first editions took a hard haggle to procure.
All in all, the team had spent an enjoyable afternoon hunting down memorabilia for their commander and it made them feel good again. The desk would be delivered by the next day, and they were discussing combing the news archives and Nambu's attic and basement for any mementos the doctor had kept of Ken's family.
The good feeling, unfortunately, did not last through the day. They had the misfortune to be walking pass a wall of televisions when the Galactor Empire made one of their illegal broadcasts again.
"Greetings citizens. I am sure you thought that last broadcast was the last bit of entertainment we had of your glorious Gatchaman. But far be it for us to deny you your viewing pleasure."
"No! Damn it! I don't want to--" Ryu tried to move away, but the press of the crowd around them trapped them in front of the TV screens.
"Don't look! Jinpei! Turn away!" Jun started to scream as the broadcast started, but the youngest member of the team could not avert his eyes.
"F&$k you, people! Why do you want to see this? Turn away!" Joe desperately wanted to run, but he couldn't without injuring the crowd that pressed around him with the morbid fascination of the indifferent.
They were trapped in the crowd.
"All that blood."
"s' not his apparently. Good lotta it musta belonged ta those--those animals."
"So young? How can we have kids fighting for us?"
"Ow! That's a novel way t' get circumcised."
The audience either gasped or flinched when Ken's head was rocked to one side with the retaliatory punch, but it quickly turned into a cheer when he immediately turned back and spat on his assailant.
"Tough lad, won't even give them a scream."
"So many--he's still fighting them."
"Ow, dat lot shodda know better dan ta get inta range o' dose teeth. Good on ya, lad!"
"Just a boy."
The atmosphere grew quickly somber at the next few scenes.
"They drugged him..."
"Filthy beasts."
"He's only a boy."
"Brutes. Jus--jus piling on 'im... bastards!"
"He's still fighting them. Hardly any strength left in him, and he's still trying to fight them off."
"Just a child."
"He never cried."
"Bloody hell not, he won't give them the satisfaction."
"Turn it off!"
"This is sick."
"Pigs."
The sales representatives shook themselves from their stunned passivity and started fumbling fruitlessly with the remote controls.
"Gatchaman's only a boy."
"Can't be older than sixteen? Seventeen?"
"Animals."
"Dear lord."
"Can't be older than my own kids..."
"The Kagaku Ninjatai are made up of children?"
"That Swallow does look kinda young."
"Turn it off!"
"Get offa him you effen' bastards!"
With the growing hostility of the audience adding impetus to their haste, the sales and equipment promoters had abandoned the remote controls and tried to mechanically switch off the televisions. But even the mechanical switches were not responding.
"Won't even give him a chance..."
"Dear lord."
"We don't got t' see dis! Turn it off!"
"I'd go mad if my son was..."
"Turn it off!"
"The bastards--he's passed out and they're not even..."
"Turn it off!"
"The rotters... "
"Turn it off!"
The department store manager finally pushed his way through the crowd to reach the wall and started pulling the electrical plugs from their sockets.
"Turn it off!"
One by one, the television screens went mercifully black as the chanting grew until the last television died. Only then did the crowd begin to disperse and move away.
"Jinpei! Jinpei! Speak to me! Jinpei!" Jun pushed through the thinning crowd to kneel in front of her brother.
The boy's face was white and he was still staring straight ahead at the black TV screens.
"Jinpei?"
"Onechan? Is--is this what will happen to us, if--if we're caught?"
"No." Jun hugged him to her, "God help us. It'll never happen."
"They made--they forced--Ken to sleep with those men."
Joe knelt beside him as well, "It's--just another form of torture, Jinpei. Gatchaman's a special case for Katse. Katse will try anything to break his spirit."
"How about you?"
"What's that?"
"Will Katse do the same to you?"
Both Joe and Jun turned several shades paler.
"Jinpei, let's not talk about this."
"Jun's right, it's best we try not to dwell on this, Jinpei. We're in a war, shit happens to everyone in a war."
"Even to Aniki no Ken." Jinpei whispered as they ushered him towards the car park.
Nambu sipped the coffee, politely waiting for Chief Anderson to speak. The older statesman was obviously ill at ease. The stress filled day had tried all their nerves. There had been at least two more broadcasts that day and the mood at Crescent Coral was decidedly glum.
After he had returned in the Eagle Sharp, Ken had retreated into the apartments set aside for the Kagaku Ninjatai to use when on base and hadn't emerged from his bedroom since. The team had returned from a fruitful day of shopping, but their mood was also somber from the transmission they had caught at the mall. Nambu wasn't sure if they had even been by to try and see Ken again.
The team had elected to stay at Crescent Coral rather than disperse to their civilian retreats. Nambu would have preferred to stay with them, but Chief Anderson's call had been expected and Nambu knew that he could not avoid the elderly statesman.
"Are the broadcasts legitimate?"
"Yes." Nambu really saw no point in lying.
Silence fell between them again. Anderson started to play with the pens on his table.
"Are you sure we can't discredit the broadcasts?"
"Sir, it--really happened. If we try to claim them to be false, the Galactors will pounce at the chance to expose our duplicity. The people will know we lied to them, and it will break their faith in the United Nations."
"Just a thought." Anderson tapped the pad of paper before him with his pen. "And... How is--Ken?"
"Healing."
"Really?"
"He's dealing with it in his own way."
"Kozaburo... " Anderson leaned forward and folded his arms over his desk, "Let me be direct. The UN was distraught. Yes, they know how young the members of the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman really are, but now they question our right to push children into this war."
"With all due respect, Chief Anderson. These 'children' were neither pushed nor drafted into this strike force. Each of them are the best at what they do, and had to qualify for their position in the team."
"Yes, yes, I know about the suitability issue you had with the pilot for a while. But, Kozaburo, I have to mollify the UN in some way. What happened to Gatchaman--"
"Is a risk they know about, and which existed at all times. Every soldier, be they man or woman, stands this risk as a prisoner of war."
"Every *adult* soldier--"
"Maturity is not measured in years. Neither is skill or ability measured in tenure. The pilot and chief gunner are older than Gatchaman. They follow him because of his ability as a leader, not because of his rank."
"And are you sure his ability is not diminished by his--ordeal?"
"What are you asking me to do, sir?"
Anderson got up and walked around his table to stare out his window. Nambu stayed silent.
"Come stand beside me a moment, Kozaburo."
Nambu came alongside the portly old statesman and looked out at the park.
"See those kids over there?"
Nambu could not miss the group. Youths gathering for lunch in the park, to enjoy the sun and the company of friends.
"Can't be more than eighteen--nineteen?"
"I see them."
"Has Gatchaman ever had the chance to do just this?"
"He's not on duty all the time, sir."
"Kozaburo--"
"We can't disband the Kagaku Ninjatai Gatchaman, Chief Anderson. That would give Galactor a victory over us. And it will destroy the young man you're so concerned about right now," Nambu told him calmly, "Gatchaman will not let you order him to step down. He fought them, Chief. He fought against impossible odds until he realized it was counter productive, then faked unconsciousness. Then he lay low to wait until he had a chance to free himself and destroy the Galactor base. You can't ask him to give up now."
Anderson looked towards Nambu at his words.
"Gatchaman will not admit defeat."
"You are right of course, but--Nambu, we will always be concerned about your charges. He is still only a boy."
"A man cannot be judged by his age, Chief Anderson."
"I have to give the UN an answer. The public went ballistic with the broadcast. We've been accused of sending babies to fight this war."
"*Jinpei* will go ballistic if he heard that."
Anderson had to chuckle at this statement. He was not unfamiliar with the young Swallow's arguments and sensitivity towards his size and age.
"Have you made any changes for the team?"
"I've made the belt buckles coded to their own gloves, so they can't be removed by anyone other than a team member, same with the helmets and communicators. We've already included a closed systems transformation for the helmets against gas attacks. The designs are similar to their space gear, with air intake and filter valves hidden in the eye designs."
"That's good."
They fell silent again as they watched the activity in the park.
"You know we have to hold a press conference. I--I can spare Ken from this."
"Thank you."
"They are your kids, Nambu. How are *you* taking this?"
"One day at a time, Chief Anderson. One day at a time."
The half moon shone down upon a lone figure as he walked along the stretch of an ISO restricted beach alone with his thoughts. The roll and crash of the waves was the only physical sound around the white winged figure, but this soothing music of nature did not currently fill his ears.
{"F$%king boots won't come off!"}
{"'s down far enough for us."}
The memory of the raucous jeers assaulted him mercilessly. He relived the pain of the assault, and the claustrophobic press of bodies around him.
{"He's a tight one."}
{"Must be a virgin."}
{"Well, the boy ain't that anymore."}
A dull ache throbbed and reminded him of the only physical evidence he had been left with. For all their rough handling, the soldiers had been careful. There were bruises aplenty of course, but there were no other physical injuries. The periodic check of the Galactor doctors between shifts made sure of it.
{"F%$k, 'e got loose!"}
{"But 'e's also lost his fight, heh?"}
{"Shouldav drugged him ages ago."}
{"Get those leg cuffs off and let's have some *real* fun, boys."}
It was no use, he thought that walking along the beach of his childhood would help bring back enough of his happier memories to block out his recent--troubles. The flashbacks were coming at shorter and shorter intervals now. He thought he had gotten over it.
When the team visited him after detox, it had been easy to forget. Hakase helped him clean and eliminate all evidence of the assault. The long talk they had during detox had helped, somewhat.
He understood that the assault was unavoidable. If not now, the assault could have taken place the next day, the following week, or even the following year. It happened on Katse's orders. It wouldn't have mattered if he had escaped capture that day. It would have happened eventually.
He knew he shouldn't feel ashamed. It was a myth to believe that rape couldn't occur to men. He had been overpowered through sheer numbers and later with the aid of drugs. He was just a target. The Galactors wanted Gatchaman broken in the most humiliating fashion they could conceive.
{"Shoot yer load already! The next shift is due any moment."}
Nambu ran him through a battery of tests, so they were fairly certain he had not contacted a sexually transmitted disease. But it paid to be certain, he was going to have to monitor himself over the next few months to see if any delayed symptoms appeared. God help him, if it would take a few years for some symptoms to show up. At least they were certain he wasn't HIV positive.
It's just another form of torture. They didn't harm me physically. It was meant to destroy me psychologically and diminish my ability to function as Gatchaman.>
"That's all it is." He whispered to himself.
{"Come on mate, give the rest of us a chance t' have another go."}
Ken squeezed his eyes shut and shuddered. It didn't surprise him to feel the tears flowing down his cheeks.
"Damn it, Washio. Move on. It happened... it hurt... you know *why* Katse ordered it done. You're *not* going to let it drag you down. You're *not* going to let them beat you!"
His assailants were all dead and lying at the bottom of the sea. Most of the evidence was destroyed. There were only the snippets Katse had now.
{"Turn him over. With those freakin' boots, it's gotta be easier the other way round."}
"Leave me alone."
He had yelled the same words at the team before he threw them out of his room. He managed to talk to them about the rape and their onslaught of questions did not faze him. But he couldn't deal with their sudden protectiveness.
Joe, against all character, was suddenly acting like a patronizing, angry and overly protective older brother. Ryu swung from being protective to guilt ridden with mercurial speed. Jun and Jinpei vacillated between disbelief and depression.
He felt as if they were trying to smother him with their concern. He *hated* being treated like an invalid. It felt like they had suddenly decided among themselves that he was damaged goods, to be packaged in bubble wrap and hidden away. They were only frustrating him with their undisguised coddling.
And later when they wouldn't stop reminding him of the ordeal, and couldn't stop apologizing for whatever unintended and imagined insensitivity they performed... He had blown up at them and thrown them out of his sight.
It was unfair of him to turn his anger on them then, but at that point he had been upset, admittedly confused by their reactions and irritated at their attempts to baby him. Their departure had left him alone long enough to brood over his current situation.
He wanted desperately to forget the ordeal and get on with his life. Then he remembered the inevitable exposure of his identity.
{"Lost your bite now, heh, Gatchaman?"}
The loss of the airfield had been devastating. He had returned to Crescent Coral and locked himself in his room, refusing to see anyone.
When the two broadcasts were aired, he had watched them. Someone had thoughtfully provided him with a black cloth with which he could drape over the television screen, but he ignored it and sat on the sofa with his legs drawn up under him to watch it in silence.
The Galactors kept him blindfolded throughout the ordeal. When he watched it though, he felt a wash of relief to realize that the visual replay did not bring the sordid memories crashing down on him. It was--easy to disassociate himself from the starring role of the recording.
But the night brought with it a fresh surge of terror. Sleep gave him no refuge and the flashbacks started their assault with a vengeance. That was what drove him out into the night. He had hoped that a walk on the beach might help sooth his troubled mind, but he couldn't escape.
Ken stood still for a moment and tried to pinpoint his followers. He knew they were there from the moment he left the base. A faint smile touched his lips as he considered their almost unobtrusive presence. It *was* a stupid move for him to leave the base when there was a Galactor contract on his life, especially in his current state.
The man raised him, he shouldn't be surprised that Nambu could second guess him enough to arrange for their presence. He bitterly wondered if his bodyguards would really make a difference if Galactor chose to try to kidnap him now. Ken frowned slightly as he noted the increase in the numbers that started out with him.
{"Hey now, will yer look at that?"}
{"Startin' t' relax, ain't he?"}
"Stop it!"
But the memories wouldn't stop and it was getting worse.
There was a movement behind him. Ken spun around and his hand flashed across himself.
To give the man credit, Red Impulse did not even flinch when the feathered shuriken whizzed past his neck, coming close enough to almost catch itself on his scarf.
"My first throw is a warning."
"I thought only your second-in-command carried the feathered shuriken?"
"That's what others assume. He's the best with them."
"You usually use your bird rang."
"You would be dead now if I did."
Ken turned away from the man. He knew the Red Impulse Captain did not miss the significance of his attack. If he had not stopped himself in time from reaching for the bird rang instead of the shuriken... It wasn't like him to attack first and ask questions later.
"Kinda extreme, isn't it, Gatchaman. You're supposed to be on protected ground."
"Do you honestly think the guards can make a difference if Katse decided to come after me now? An opponent is most vulnerable when they think that they're safe. We've lost more agents through carelessness than on missions."
"Touche."
"What do you want?"
"I--was concerned."
"Thanks. I'm okay." He started to walk away and was dismayed to sense the older man start after him to match his pace.
"I don't believe that."
"You're not the first."
"Nambu was concerned."
"He always is."
"Look, Gat--Ken. You can't pretend nothing's happe--"
Ken stopped walking to swing around at the Red Impulse Captain.
"What is it that you all want from me? Do you want an admission?! An acknowledgment that I'm not trying to deny the event?! Fine! I had the shit f$%ked out of me by a base of Galactors! I was probably lucky I didn't die from shock due to the sheer numbers and that all I came away with from the lead role of the Galactor gang bang was an aching jaw and a bleeding ass! Is that enough?! Are you satisfied?!"
Kentaro barely controlled his flinch from the words yelled in his face. He didn't want this meeting, Nambu had gone as far as to order him to talk to Ken. He couldn't look away and pretend that he wasn't aware of the pain the boy was going through.
The war was all he knew. Fighting an opponent in straightforward combat, or even stealing their secrets as a spy was what he was used to. He felt so utterly helpless in trying to offer comfort, especially comfort to a son he had never been a father to. But he couldn't turn away now.
"Do you trust me?"
"What?"
"I asked, 'Do you trust me?'"
"Y--yes." Ken frowned at him in puzzlement, lost for a moment in the sudden change of subject.
"Then will you tell me why you're acting so guilty?"
"What?!"
"You reek of guilt. It wasn't your fault!"
"I *know* that. The fact that it happened at all tells me Katse sanctioned the rape. It was more or less carved in stone that an attempt would be made."
"Then why are you still feeling guilt? Something else is eating at you. Something you haven't told anyone else."
"Haven't I talked enough? I'm sick and tired of talking about it."
"I asked if you trusted me."
"What about it?"
"I saw the report you gave Nambu. You colored out several paragraphs so he couldn't read what you had written. I want you to tell me what it was you didn't want to tell Nambu."
"Why?"
"Because if you don't talk to someone soon... If you don't get it off your chest, the Galactors will win. You'll eventually break."
"And how would you know that?"
"Why else would you be out here alone, in your current distracted state of mind, without protection or backup?"
"I can take care of myself."
Kentaro had a retort on his lips, but he held it back and waited. Something in Ken's stance told him that he was about to break his silence.
Perhaps Nambu was right after all. He could tell that Ken really needed someone to confide in. He wouldn't say anything to Nambu, or his friends and family. So maybe it *was* the right approach for the Red Impulse Captain to talk to Gatchaman. His patience was about to be rewarded.
"After--they administered the drugs--" Ken's voice started as a low whisper. "I--I ... They--they stroked me into an orgasm."
Kentaro was rocked back slightly as the rest of Ken's words came out with a rush of crushing guilt.
"I lost control... I tried to fight back, but it happened! I was responding to them, damn it! They jerked me off. They started laughing at me... telling me that the drugs lowered my inhibitions, so I--I must be enjoying it. That--I really wanted to get gang banged. That I would have been a willing participant if I--wasn't so uptight. I hated it! I didn't want to--but I could feel myself go hard and when they started again--"
His voice dropped once more into a subdued whisper. "I had another orgasm."
Kentaro didn't want to be there now. He thought that he was going to burst a vein. He didn't know how he could stand to be told what his son had just lived through. He wanted to kill somebody. He wanted to wring Katse's neck until he heard the bones break. He wanted to raze the Galactor Kingdom to the ground.
It was breaking his heart to look at his son now. To see the mask of Gatchaman slip and reveal the confused, traumatized boy beneath.
The white winged figure suddenly looked so small to Kentaro as he hugged himself. "I didn't--want--any of it. They nearly choked me--it was difficult enough to breathe--and they had me--responding--"
Kentaro desperately wanted to give his son a hug to reassure him, but he couldn't. Ken wouldn't be able to bare any physical contact in his current emotional state. He needed the reassurance of words now.
"You can't clamp down on all your senses, Ken. You can't tell yourself not to feel pain either. Your body was made to respond to the stimuli."
"They were raping me! I shouldn't have liked any of it!"
"When did 'like' come in? Didn't you *hate* every minute of it? You can experience an orgasm without pleasure. Experiencing physical arousal *doesn't* go hand in hand with pleasure. Just stimulating the prostate gland can give a man a hard-on no matter what his mind may want."
Ken looked up to stare at him with an arched eyebrow.
"When you get to my age, you start worrying about mundane things like--prostate cancer." Kentaro looked down and began to shift from foot to foot in discomfort. "I had a swelling down there and... so I was naturally worried."
Ken waited patiently for him to continue. Even in the faint light of the moon, he could see that the man was almost scarlet from embarrassment.
"The doctor warned me of the possible hardening during the examination, but it still took me by surprise. He didn't expect me to cream him either. I was so embarrassed."
Ken coughed back his snort of amusement.
Kentaro sneaked a peek at the white winged figure and was pleased to note the slight trembling of withheld laughter. "And it was a false alarm, my manhood is still intact and functional. Thank you for your concern."
This time Ken lost it as he howled in laughter.
"Feeling better?"
"Maybe."
"It's about time. The point is, Ken, it was pure physical stimulation. It *doesn't* mean you liked or enjoyed the experience. To some men, a simple touch can bring them off. That you held out as long as you did attests to your strength of will to resist their unwanted attentions."
Kentaro was gratified to note that Ken had unfolded his arms as he mulled on his words. The grip was still in place, but it was at least a more relaxed stance then the rigid tightness of a few minutes ago.
He still looked so... vulnerable. Kentaro could feel the ache in his heart, which wanted him to reach out and hug the youth to him as a father would his son. But he dared not be so bold.
However, Kentaro could take the requisite two steps forward that would allow him to put his hand on Ken's shoulder. There was a slight flinch at his touch, but Ken allowed him the grip.
"It isn't your fault." Kentaro squeezed his shoulder gently. "You will survive this."
"I must, Red Impulse. Gatchaman must rise above it."
To be continued...
Marvin the Martian is trademarked, copyrighted and property of Warner Bros. The mentioned novelty placebos are copyright 1980 by Marsyl Enterprises, Inc. Cody, Wyoming 82414.