Opportunities
by Jacque Koh
Beta-read by Lori McDonald
"What the f$%k?" Joe reached for his bedside lamp to stare blearily at the clock.
He heard the persisting knock on his door again and got up angrily, wondering who would be by so late at night.
"Do you know what time--" He flung open the door angrily, but his words trailed off when he saw who was at the door.
"Joe?" Jun stood outside wearing a robe. "Can--may I come in?"
"Is something wrong? Did something come up with Ken?" Joe looked at her in concern.
"No, no, nothing like that. I was--I was wondering if we could talk?"
"Couldn't we wait till morning?" Joe groaned as he stepped aside so she could enter his room.
"No. I--I just wanted to ask you for a favor."
"Anything." Joe frowned slightly as Jun closed the door behind her and locked it. "Just ask away."
"Will--will you sleep with me?"
Joe choked. "What?" It came out as a squeak high pitched enough to start Jun giggling.
"Well? Will you?"
"Jun? What's this all about? We're not--we can't--?" Joe managed to get his voice under control, "Jun, you don't love me like that. Why are you asking me this?"
"Because I'm afraid." She looked down, "After--after what happened to Ken... I--I'm still a virgin, Joe. I don't--I don't want my first time--I can't ask Ken now. I don't know when he'll be ready after--"
Joe reach reached out to take her hands in his, "Jun, you shouldn't rush into this. It is a precious thing, you can't just give it away because of--fear."
"Joe, we're all at risk. I've never thought of it before, but if Ken--if it can happen to Ken--If I can't give it to the one I love, I want to give it to a friend I trust." Jun looked up at him, "Don't you want me? Aren't--aren't I desirable?"
"Jun, you're the most beautiful, bright--"
"Aren't I desirable?" Jun pushed him away from her. "What's wrong with me that you and Ken never notice! Aren't I pretty enough to even turn an eye?"
She slipped her robe off to reveal herself dressed in a darling black teddy.
Joe sucked in a deep breath and clamped down on his own emotions. In the dim light of his reading lamp, the black silk contrasted strikingly against Jun's pale skin and in spite of himself, Joe could feel his desire raging inside him.
"Of course you are, Jun." His voice sounded distinctly hoarse, "It's--it's not right. Jun, I--I won't be fair to either you or Ken. I'd be taking advantage of you. You don't do that to friends."
"I know what I want, Joe. I'm *offering* it to you. I don't want to lose it to--to strangers."
Joe turned away from her and sat down on his bed.
"Sit with me a moment, Jun?" He patted the mattress beside him.
Jun approached bending forward as if to kiss him, but Joe pulled her to sit beside him instead and placed a hand around her waist. His other hand reached out to grip her hands.
"You're really scared about--being raped, aren't you?"
Jun leaned her head against his shoulder. "Yes."
"I am too."
Jun looked up at him, "You are? I thought--I thought you'd think--"
"Anyone in their right mind would be afraid, Jun. To see what happened to Ken... " Joe held her closer. "He was okay until we found out, until we started--trying to, I guess, baby him. When we didn't know about it, he could deal with it. I don't know if I... "
"I think I'd go mad, Jun. If Katse, if anyone had--Ken is Gatchaman, he's supposed to be invincible, indomitable. But despite all his skill and his prowess the Galactors had complete power over him..." Joe's hand tightened around her waist involuntarily.
"And here I am thinking--thinking of how many times Galactor managed to hold the rest of us prisoners. Makes me--wonder--how we managed to escape the same treatment all this time."
"We're just the lackeys," Jun said lightly, "Gatchaman was--a better target."
"And they nailed him. Are we up next?"
Jun looked up at him again, "So... you're afraid too?"
"We've been held prisoner before." Joe couldn't stop his inward shudder. "But this--was the first time they ever got a hold of him. Will they work on us next?"
"Don't talk like that, Joe." Jun clung to him and shivered. "I don't want to think it'll--that we'll--that--"
"Jun, the fact is that danger will always be there. It *was* always there. We're now--forewarned, so don't think we're all not going to be more careful or more vigilant than before. Hakase modified the bird styles to make them proof against gas attacks and non-removable by a third party. Ken will never let it happen to us or to him ever again. We have to have faith in that."
Joe shifted in her embrace to look her in the eye. "It is a precious thing that you're offering me, and--I'm flattered. But I can't accept it, Jun. This is something you should be offering to someone you love. I'm not that someone. Ken is the one who loves you, just as you love him."
"But he's never--"
"Fraternizing in the ranks is frowned upon, remember?" Joe stroked her cheek gently. "Our commander can also be as dumb as a post when it comes to showing his love."
A quick grin danced on her lips.
"If you want him, you're going to have to be bolder, Jun. That's all there is to it. Otherwise, you may be an old maid before he makes the first move,"
"But not now."
"No, he's hurting too bad right now. You'll know when, and you can give it to him then."
"You really think he'll be okay?"
"He has to be. Gatchaman won't let the Galactor's win." Joe turned away and stared across the room for a moment, "I wish there was some way we could help him, but he has to deal with it himself. We can only show him that we're all going to be there supporting him."
They stayed in each other's embrace for a while, taking comfort in each other's presence. Eventually, Jun disengaged herself from the hug.
"Joe? Thank you for understanding."
"It is a priceless gift, Jun. I regret I cannot accept it since it truly belongs to another."
She kissed him lightly on the cheek and left the room. Joe stayed seated on his bed until he heard the sound of her door opening and closing. He muttered a groan as he got up to turn towards the adjoining bathroom and start the shower running with cold water.
"Ryu?"
The Kagaku Ninjatai pilot turned bleary eyes towards the shape that now stood at his elbow. He stared for a while, waiting for his inebriated brain to tell his eyes to focus on the figure.
The bottle was firmly pulled out of his hand, and a mug of coffee shoved in its place. Ryu scowled as the smell of coffee started to assault his senses. The figure was finally taking shape before him.
"You've had enough. I'm closing the bar."
"Huh? Jinpei?"
In the dimmed lighting of the family room, Ryu could see that the boy was in his pajamas as he stared at him.
"You shouldn't be drinking so much."
"Leave me alone."
"No. I came out because I needed to talk to someone and you're it."
"Why? I'm useless."
"That's not true."
"I couldn't do anything right. The Galactors got the recor--"
"Ryu, if you were no good, Hakase wouldn't have let you back on the team!"
Ryu winced at the tone, "Please don't shout."
"Ryu, drink that coffee and talk to me or I'm turning up all the lights."
Ryu cringed, the way his head was feeling he definitely didn't want the room any brighter than it was now.
"You're the only one I can think of who will answer my questions."
"How about Jun?"
"She's a girl."
"She'll be glad you noticed. So what? You can ask her anything and she'll tell you."
"I can't ask her this."
"How about Joe?"
"I--I'm afraid to ask him. He--he'll only start yelling again."
Ryu took his first gulp of the coffee before speaking again. "Okay, okay what is it?"
"It's--it's got to do with Aniki no Ken."
Ryu closed his eyes and let his breath out in a hiss.
"What is it?"
"Why--why did those men want to sleep with him?"
Ryu drained the rest of the coffee before he looked at the boy again. The longer they held off talking to him about it, the more confused he'd be, and the last thing they wanted was for him to blurt out a question like that to Ken.
"Any more of that coffee?"
Jinpei obligingly filled the mug with the coffeepot he was holding. The boy was prepared for a long discourse. Ryu downed another half a mug of the steaming brew before he felt ready to speak again.
"Jinpei, do you know what rape is?"
He flushed slightly, but nodded. "It's--it's when one person forces another to have sex. I--I understand that--that Aniki no Ken was--was raped. I understand--that Katse wanted to--to break his spirit, and that it--it was--that Aniki no Ken saw it as torture. But... why? Why--why would those--Galactors want to have sex with him?"
Ryu took a deep breath before continuing, "Rape is not motivated by--by the desire to have sex with someone because of attraction."
"But--"
"Let me finish. You're confused because--they--er--Jinpei, those--Galactors didn't force themselves on Ken because--because they thought he was attractive. Katse ordered the rape to humiliate and hurt him."
"But if they're not attracted--"
"You weren't listening, Jinpei. Rape is not motivated by attraction or sexual desire. The Galactors were jumping at a chance to--humiliate Ken. Instead of trembling in fear before the great Gatchaman or waiting to die at his hands, they had the White Shadow helpless, unable to fight them off or even see his attackers."
"They were given a chance to hurt him and--and to abuse him physically, with the safe knowledge that he couldn't free himself to take revenge."
"Then--then why rape? They could have tortured him with--with the standard methods."
"Don't you see how much more traumatic it has been for all of us, Jinpei?"
"Oh."
"We're all--Ken felt that he had braced himself to be tortured. Instead, the Galactors overpowered him through sheer numbers and used restraints and drugs to take total control away from him. He came away with feelings of shame, humiliation, helplessness, and anger. It--wouldn't have been the same if--if he had just been tortured."
Ryu looked very tired as he finished the rest of the coffee. "This is all just Katse's game of control and power over his most feared enemy. Do you understand now?"
"Will--will Katse do the same to us?"
Ryu closed his eyes for a moment before he could bring himself to answer the question. "I shouldn't lie to you, Jinpei. It--it is a possibility."
"With all of us?"
"Jinpei, don't think of it as anything special. We've *always* been in that kind of danger. It's just--it's just never been so prominent before. Don't dwell on it, or you'll worry yourself to death. Don't show anyone that it worries you, Jinpei, or the Galactors will use it against us. And Ken--? We have to stop--reminding him of--the attack if he has any hope to heal."
"Will Aniki no Ken be okay?"
"He has to be, Jinpei. He is Gatchaman, he won't let the Galactors win."
Jinpei nodded as he looked down at the now empty coffeepot in his hands.
"He told you it wasn't your fault."
"I--I still feel some measure of responsibility."
"Your looking guilty will remind him. You need to be sober when Aniki no Ken needs us."
Ryu's eyes widened at him in consternation.
"Will you leave off the booze?"
"Yeah, sorry."
"Come on, Ryu. It's way past my bedtime and you shouldn't be sleeping on the sofa." Jinpei left the coffeepot on the table and pulled him to his feet. "I'm not about to leave you out here before I go back to my room."
"Let's get you to bed then, Swallow." Ryu let Jinpei drag him up and they staggered out of the family room towards their bedrooms.
Red Impulse watched silently as Ken continued to stare out to sea. He knew that the issues he was turning over in his mind were far from resolution. They had mostly dealt with the guilt, but there was still the fear and the flashbacks. Kentaro could tell whenever those memories stabbed through him. There was always a slight shiver which ran through his frame.
"Ken?"
"You're still here?"
"Could say the same for you. Will you trust me?"
"What is it this time?"
"Let me do something for you."
Ken could not stop his involuntary step back as Red Impulse approached.
Kentaro's face went black. "I am not gay!"
"Sexual orientation has little bearing on rape. Or would you have me believe that Katse managed to staff the entire base with gay soldiers."
"I am not going to assault you!!"
"I know that! I trust you. I'm just--just--"
"Jumpy?" Kentaro felt the heat of his anger drain away. "You've had your freedom taken away from you and you were rendered helpless in the enemy's hands. You realize that--"
"--it will happen again? Of course."
"We--you need to know that you can deal with it. That Gatchaman won't break, if--if the Galactors ever have you--"
"What do you suggest?"
Red Impulse drew out a set of handcuffs from his pocket. Gatchaman did not even twitch when he saw the restraints.
"It'll be a cake walk for you to slip out of these at any time." Kentaro dangled them in front of him. "The point is to confront your fear of loss of control. You're with people you trust now, and you're not in any danger."
Gatchaman's expression was unreadable as he stared at the handcuffs for a moment.
"You can tell me to stop anytime. We can--use a safe word if you want. Say it and I'll release you."
"'Father.'"
"Excuse me?" Red Impulse almost dropped the handcuffs in shock.
"Did you wonder why I chose to come to this beach instead of walking the one on Crescent Coral where it's safer?"
"It... did come to mind."
"My father used to bring me here, before he disappeared. They were the happiest and probably the most secure days of my life. I came here to try and recapture that." Ken looked far away, but his expression quickly changed to pain as another memory intruded.
"Oh. Okay, we'll--we'll use 'father.'" Kentaro handed him the handcuffs to examine.
He watched silently as Ken played with the handcuffs for a moment, locking and unlocking them before he handed them back and offered his wrists to him.
"Not yet. Deactivate your bird style first."
Ken frowned at him. Kentaro knew he did not like the suggestion.
"I heard that Nambu improved your bird styles. You can't allow yourself to use your bird style as a crutch. You're more vulnerable in your civvies."
Kentaro winced inwardly as Ken's eyes glazed over and his face went white. The memories were getting intrusive. Gatchaman couldn't afford that kind of distraction.
"O--okay." Ken deactivated his bird style and offered his wrists to Red Impulse again.
Kentaro was pleased to note that though he was tensed, Ken didn't tremble when the cuffs locked into place.
Nambu glanced at the clock as he got off the secure line with the guard. It was 2:14 a.m. Ken had been off Crescent Coral for over three hours. At least knowing where he was and knowing that there were about ten or so guards following him helped eased the doctor's worry.
Nambu took off his glasses and rubbed the skin between his eyes to ease the ache that was starting. The report had amused him, in a way. He knew Ken was probably fully aware of his guards and if he had really wanted to slip away from them, there was no force on earth which could have prevented him from disappearing.
He winced slightly as he wondered what Ken had felt about the numbers that were sent after him. The others had told him about Ken's reaction to their protectiveness. Nambu could not halt the feeling of guilt at his own overreaction for Ken's safety. But it worried him even more to find out from the guards that Ken did not even attempt to evade them.
He glanced at the ragged looking folder on his desk. The blackened lines and paragraphs on the report within, still troubled him. Nambu racked his memory trying to remember the conversation he had with Ken during detox. He really couldn't recall anything which might have been disturbing enough to cause Ken to censor it for the debriefing papers.
Rape.
He had talked about it with his kids before. Excluding Jinpei's presence due to his age, they had discussed it to death in all its technically. But it had never *really* sunk in that the danger was real. To have that violence actually perpetrated on one of his children...
It was killing him to read the report. Nambu wasn't sure when he'd be able to get it ready for filing. It pained him to recall himself stopping Ken from destroying the report. The crushing anguish, which he had seen in Ken's eyes, would haunt him for a long time.
The doctor sighed as he thought over the verbal report from the guard. He was glad that Kentaro didn't shirk from his responsibility and did go to speak with Ken. From his long distance surveillance, the guard sounded optimistic that some sort of resolution had been reached. What it was though, Nambu wouldn't know until he talked to either Ken or Kentaro and he wondered now how much either would let him know.
They also needed to resolve that other issue soon. Nambu had to wonder how much cowardice motivated Kentaro to remain apart from his son. The man could face any terror or danger with that infuriating grin and a laugh which could send chills down the spine of lesser men. But he still carried on the deception with his son far beyond necessity. Something had to be done soon before Ken found out on his own and before the relationship between the two was irreparably destroyed.
He frowned as he thought about what the guard told him of their current activities. The guards concurred that the Red Impulse Captain handed Gatchaman a pair of handcuffs. Nambu had almost choked at the news. He had no doubt what Kentaro was going to try.
In his mind, Nambu was cursing Kentaro for all kinds of fools. It was too soon after the assault. Ken had been a prisoner for over two days. Barely a day and a half had passed since he rejoined them. The assault would be too fresh in his mind to try something that extreme. But how was he to send his warning to the man?
The ring of the telephone broke through his reverie. Nambu picked it up, only to jerk it away from his ear quite violently.
"NAMBU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING AT YOUR DESK AT THIS TIME OF THE NIGHT?!"
Nambu switched hands to hold the telephone to his other ear as he futilely massaged his ringing ear.
"With all due respect, Chief Anderson, if you weren't expecting me at my desk, why did you call?"
"I was checking on you, what else? Go home! Go to bed! Exhausting yourself isn't going to help the situation."
"Ken left Crescent Coral earlier this evening."
"Did you have guards tailing him?"
"Yes."
"Did he try to evade the guards?"
"No."
"Are the guards still with him?"
"Yes."
"Then stop mothering the boy and go to bed. The guards will call you if anything untoward should occur."
"But--"
"Kozaburo, being overly concerned *isn't* going to help Gatchaman regain his confidence in his own abilities." Anderson told him gently. "If you try to baby him, you'll get one of two reactions: He'll either resent the coddling and feel himself pushed into doing something reckless, or he'll lose faith in himself and collapse under the strain."
"We're all worried about Ken, Kozaburo. But you're not going to be able to help him if you exhaust yourself."
"Yes sir."
"Give my regards to the team, Kozaburo. And *go to bed* or I shall be sorely vexed with you, young man."
Nambu stifled a snort at his words. Nevertheless, he did switch off his desk lamp to leave his office. He paused at the door to consider his earlier thoughts before Anderson called him.
Nambu reluctantly admitted that there was nothing he could do to stop Kentaro from his course. He could only hope that Ken was going to be as strong as Kentaro was pushing him to be.
They had played with the handcuffs for a while. It was a methodical placement, and removal of the cuffs. They'd leave the handcuffs on for increasing periods of time before Ken slipped them off again. Eventually, Ken let the Red Impulse Captain take them off rather than freeing himself.
Once Kentaro felt that the edginess was dissipating, he moved to something new.
"Put your hands behind you."
There was a slight hesitation, but Ken complied. The rigidity in his spine returned as Kentaro stayed behind him where he couldn't be seen.
{"Hold him down!"}
"Are you still okay?" The cuffs were secured again.
{"Don't try that! You gotta watch his knees, bub."}
{"S' safer ta let the others hold his legs over one shoulder."}
"Yes." Ken's lips trembled slightly, he couldn't see or tell what Kentaro was doing behind him without turning around. But that was the whole point, that new element of uncertainty. He stayed staring steadfastly ahead.
{"Hey sarge? Y' t'ink we can have 'im for a punk when the boss is done wit' 'im?"}
{"Enjoy him while you can, boys. There won't be much left once Katse-sama is through."}
Again, he concentrated on staying calm. The handcuffs came off and on again. Eventually, he let Red Impulse leave them on until he released them.
"Are you ready for the next part?" Kentaro asked as he secured the cuffs again.
"What is it?"
Something danced on the periphery of his vision and a black cloth covered his eyes.
Kentaro cried in fright as the figure before him changed into bird style in a pyrotechnic flare. The handcuffs were destroyed and a leg shot out to sweep his feet from under him.
Instinct bred of battle made Kentaro reach out to grab his assailant by the shoulder and turn his fall into an attack of his own as he bore the lighter figure down. Instinct made him carry on his attack and use his own body to pin the white winged figure to the ground. Recognition and the import of his assault came slightly too late.
Kentaro regained enough sense to assist Ken's throw and fling himself away from him. "Ken! It's okay! It's me! It's okay! It's your--it's Red Impulse! You're not under attack! It's--"
Ken twisted away to land in a crouched position with his white wings covering his entire body. His breathing was shallow and came in short bursts. He refused to look up at Kentaro.
Kentaro felt guilt crush him as he considered the trembling figure before him. Stupid. You stupid idiot! You're pushing him too fast. He's not ready for this.>
"'Father.'"
"What?"
"I--I forgot to use the safe word, 'father.'"
Kentaro turned to glance at the blindfold which now lay between them. He looked again at the shuddering figure and cursed himself for his own cruelty. Nambu had told him about the blindfold. He shouldn't have been asinine enough to use it so soon.
"K--Ken, I--I'm sorry. I should have told you what--"
"Don't! Damn it, don't *you* start apologizing to me too!" Ken came to his feet again, and his eyes were afire with rage. "Stop *coddling* me! I've had enough of it from Nambu and the team, I don't want it from you!"
"It's too soon after--"
"Do you think the Galactors will care?! I lost it. I lashed out at you and changed into bird style without even thinking of it. If I can't handle restraints when I'm in the company of someone I trust, how will I react when the manacles are real and I'm a prisoner again?"
Ken deactivated his bird style and offered his wrists to Kentaro. "Again."
"No!"
"Again! I can't let it impair my judgement. Start again."
"I--don't have any more handcuffs."
"Then use my belt." Ken pulled it loose and offered it to Kentaro.
"No! Ken, stop this. You're distraught! You're pushing yourself needlessly."
"I can't let this go on!" Tears started flowing down his face. "I'm scared, damn it! I'm so f$%king scared! And I *can't* afford it! I can't let the fear make me overreact and that's what it's doing! I'm so afraid, I can't think or act properly. I'll be a danger to the team if I freeze up! And what if I run?! I can't do that! Gatchaman is broken if this goes on."
"And some wounds take time to heal!" Kentaro pushed the belt away from him and gripped Ken about his arms, "Pick at a scab before it heals and you start it bleeding again. You can't use this kind of shock therapy on yourself! If you ride yourself too hard, you'll break yourself!"
"We *haven't got* the luxury of time."
"I won't torture you! You can't ask me to do this to you now, Ken. You need patience with this. You can't teach a person how to swim by throwing them into the deep end of the pool."
Ken snorted at this statement as he turned to look away. "Funny of you to say that. If I recall correctly, that's exactly how my father taught me how to swim."
With his eyes turned away, Ken missed seeing the flush which colored Kentaro's cheeks at the reminder.
"A--and you probably swallowed about a gallon of water first before you got a hang of it. It only works for some, but others need more time. You can't treat this sort of trauma the same way. This--this is--Ken, we've accomplished enough for one night. Go back home and get some rest."
Ken sucked in a deep breath and released it again without a shudder running through his frame. Kentaro released Ken's arms guiltily, his eyes widened in alarm at the purple-black bruises his fingers had left on his son's skin.
"Sorry about that."
"No one will notice it on top of the other bruises." Ken shook his head as he passed his belt back through the loops of his white jeans.
"I'm sor--"
"*Don't* apologize to me. I'm sick of hearing it." He reactivated the bird style and turned away to stare out to sea again.
"It's late. Y--I--I'm going to head back to Crescent Coral. Do you need a lift?"
"No. I'll be okay."
Kentaro didn't believe him at all. The rigid stance was back, as was the tightness in the fold of his arms. At this point, Kentaro knew he could not leave him in clear conscience.
"I--could stay so we--could carry on talking?"
Kentaro gaped to see the Eagle pull himself into an even tighter stance.
"Ken?"
{"So what's the good word, Doc?"}
{"Can our punk take it?"}
{"Carry on. Just remember, nothing too rough."}
{"Yeah, the boss is missing out on this. But he gets first dibs on the rest."}
"Ken!"
Ken winced and jerked out of range of the reaching hand. "Just--just go. Leave me alone."
Kentaro gritted his teeth to see the almost defeated slump to the proud shoulders. It was killing him to look at his son now. Ken was wound up tighter than a spring and if there wasn't some way to diffuse that tension soon... He wished and prayed to all the gods he could think of for some inspiration of how he could help. Looking at him now... All he could think of was how much he wanted to protect him, gather his son in his arms and shelter him from dangers that might raise their heads--
A thought danced in Kentaro's head. It seemed improbable and quite out of character for the image he had cultivated, but he *was* getting desperate.
"Ken, will you let me do something for you?"
"Why are you still here?! I thought you said we've accomplished enough for one night?"
"For Gatchaman, maybe. But how about Ken Washio?" Kentaro pressed on before he lost his nerve. "You--you mentioned this beach having significance because of your father."
"What about it?"
"What did you miss most about him?"
"You're getting per--"
"I've seen the airfield." Kentaro felt a slight pang within him for the loss. "You lost everything, didn't you? Everything of your father's."
Ken did not answer him.
"Look--this is--this is unusual for me to say... but--I think I've been around long enough to know what you need right now."
"And what would that be?"
"You look like--a boy who is in need of a hug."
Kentaro chewed on his lower lip as he saw the shiver which ran through his frame.
"I *can't* afford weak--"
"What 'weakness' is it to accept comfort offered by someone who cares about you?" Kentaro started to move forward slowly, careful to make enough noise so that Ken would hear his approach. "It's not pity, condescension, or sympathy. I'm just asking you to drop the mask of Gatchaman. You're with someone you can trust, you don't have to hide behind it. You *can't* hide behind it forever."
Kentaro stopped when he was within arms length of the figure. "No obligations and nothing sexual, please."
A barely withheld snort of amusement escaped from the white winged figure.
"Just a simple hug, Ken."
Kentaro could feel his heart in his mouth as Ken turned to face him, his expression unreadable. He could almost feel the refusal in the stance. Kentaro held out his arms in invitation.
"It's a one time offer, so you better take advantage of it before I come to my senses. I'll never live it down if word ever got out that Red Impulse can be a old softy."
Ken couldn't hold back the slight grin.
Kentaro did not attempt to move as he watched Ken steel himself to take a hesitant step towards him.
"Just don't take my head and shoulders off with the beak, 'kay?"
This time a smile broke on his face and Ken entered the encirclement of Kentaro's arms.
Not wanting to scare him away, Kentaro was careful to move forward almost imperceptibly to meet him. Allowing Ken to encircle his waist with his right arm and lean his head sideward on his chest and shoulder, he sensed more than felt Ken's left hand reach up to grip the fabric of his right sleeve.
Moving slowly and non-threateningly, Kentaro closed the encirclement of his arms to wrap his son into a hug. He moderated the increasing pressure of his grip in response to the involuntary shudders and brief shifting to get into a comfortable position.
Kentaro leaned his chin on the top of Ken's helmet. He finally felt the contentment of fourteen missed years. He felt Ken tremble at one point during his tightening embrace, but it eased as they got used to each other's closeness. Guilt flash across Kentaro's thoughts over whether he had selfishly wished for this moment for himself, or for his son. But he beat it down again as he lost himself in the warmth of his son's almost clinging embrace.
"You--wear the same cologne."
It took all of Kentaro's control to stop himself from stiffening at the observation. But he managed to laugh it off.
"Your father must have the same great taste."
Ken's left hand curled and tightened on the red fabric.
"M--mother bought it for him." Ken started to laugh softly. Kentaro could feel the laugh gradually changing to sobs as the flood of tears began to pour out. One hand began to stroke Ken's back comfortingly in a gentle repetitive motion.
"Let it all out Ken." Kentaro murmured softly. "It'll feel better."
"Cat--cath--cathartic--release?" Ken managed to choke out between hiccups.
"Piss off, Gatchaman, and return the kid. You analyze everything too damn much."
Ken chortled in momentary laughter and his crying continued unabated.
They remained in that position for a long time as Kentaro allowed his son to cry out all his tension and fears. Kentaro's left hand continued its gentle motion of stroking Ken's back all the while. He unconsciously began humming a tune as he listened to the sobbing.
Eventually, the flood of tears subsided. Kentaro was reluctant to relinquish that position though he knew that it had to end soon. Until then, he was content to remain in that position for as long as Ken would let him.
"His hugs."
"Pardon?" Kentaro stopped his humming.
"When I was a kid, I missed having him hug me when I was scared."
"You mean on stormy nights when the thunder and lightening sounded too close to the house?"
"I wonder if he misses it too?"
Kentaro felt his mouth go dry. "I--thought he's supposed to be dead."
"Never believed it."
They fell silent again.
Kentaro could feel the marked difference in the warm body he was holding so close to him. Most of the tension had finally eased and Ken was actually relaxed in his embrace. He breathed a sigh of relief and hoped that the worst was over for now. And that the process of healing would be able to continue unabated.
Only... once he released Ken from the hug, he could no longer hope to experience a similar encounter again. Not unless he told Ken the truth and even then, Kentaro didn't know how well his son would take the news of his father's deception.
"Red Impulse?"
Ken's words shook Kentaro from his reverie. They had to return to the real world. As much as he wanted to, Kentaro couldn't reveal the truth now. In his son's current fragile state it could be disastrous. He didn't know if he could ever work up the courage later to tell the truth, but for now he couldn't say anything either.
"Red Impulse, I--"
"Breathe a word of this to *anyone* and I will kick your butt." Kentaro rumbled though he didn't ease his embrace. "It'll ruin my reputation if word got out that I can have a soft side."
Ken chuckled. "What are you going to do about my twelve guards?"
"Nambu's a paranoid panty waist. Remind me to threaten them when we get back to base... Wait a minute! Twelve? I thought there were only ten!"
"They do say the eyes are the first to go, old timer."
Kentaro could hear the grin behind the words.
"I still think you're a young punk." Kentaro bit his tongue when he felt the tension return to the lithe figure and he belatedly recalled the word's other slang reference. Stupid! Now you've undone everything you accomplished. You stupid idiot!>
Thankfully, the tension did not stay.
"Well... I *know* you're an old rat bastard."
"*Old*, is it?"
"Would you prefer geriatric?" Ken pulled away to look up at him with a grin.
Kentaro chuckled as he released his grip. He even felt bold enough to drape a friendly arm over the younger man's shoulders as he turned their feet towards the docks.
"Let's go home, *kid*. This old man needs his rest."
At the faint chime, Kentaro felt the muscles under his hand grow taut.
No. No, you f$%king assholes can't do this to him now!>
"Bird scramble." The mask slipped back into place. "Captain, can you see to it that the boat I commandeered be returned? I'll have the God Phoenix pick me up here."
Kentaro's hand tightened on his shoulder, but Gatchaman only brushed him off.
"Ken wai--"
"No. They've thrown the gauntlet. Gatchaman can't let it lie."
To be continued...