Disclaimer: Yay! For the first time ever I can say that some of these characters are mine! Steven Odette, Ben and Jamie are mine all mine!

Summary: Some lower crew members talking about the mystery that is Captain Janeway (This is what happens if you read to many differant fics at once, conflicting opinions.

Feedback: pretty please with a cherry on top!


Gossip

Steven: "I got a visit from Captain Janeway yesterday,"

Odette: "Really? Wow, she's never visited me. What's she like?"

Ben: "Yeah come on, 'fess up, are all the rumours true?"

Steven: "u what? Which rumours? There's hundreds of them,"

Odette: "Well you know she is a mega bitch from hell, she's put people in psychiatry,
you know, she's evil."

Jamie: "Nah way! You know she's just the pretty face they've put in to make the ship, look good, you know who really runs this ship don't you," He leant forward warily, "Commander Chakotay, Captain Janeway hasn't really got a clue you know,
it's a great cover up."

Odette: "You would say that you sexist pig!" Jamie looked mildly offended at the
remark, "Believe me she's a good Captain but get in her way, you know about it!"
She looked around fearfully, "I hear she murdered someone for stealing her coffee."

Ben: "Now that's something that is just freaky, her coffee, d'you know I heard that she acctually hasn't eaten any solid food since she came on her board Voyager,"

Odette: "I heard that she has been through every high ranking male aboard this ship, the womens a man eater! She's slept with people to get safe passageway."

Jamie: "Now look, the only man in that womens life is Chakotay, she worships him!"

Steven: "Really? I thought it was Tuvok,"

Ben: "No she's a lesbien,"

Odette: "No Ben, that's your twisted imagination."

Steven: "Well I thought she was nice,"

Jamie: "Oh yeah now we're getting somewhere! How nice exactly?"

Ben: "Steven fancies Captain Janeway,!"

Steven: "Shut up you pillock! I said I thought she was nice not that I wanted to jump into bed with her!"

Ben: "Ooooh, maybe you could have a threesome with her lesbien lover!"

Odette: *wacks Ben round the head* " You are sick, you know that?"

Steven: "I tell you though, that women is not healthy. She is scarily skinny. Did you know that she is acctualy living on medication from the doctor and without it she'll die."

Odette: "Captain Janeway! Come off it, she is immortal!"

Ben: "Speak of the devil! Look!" Captain Janeway walks past their table carrying a cup of coffee.

Ben: "See! See! Coffee! She never eats, she just lives on that stuff because her lesbien lover keeps her up all night."

Odette: "Ben, SHUT UP!"

Steven: "Shhhhh, look she's going over to commander Chakotay.

Odette: "Run chakotay run!"

Jamie: "No! He's going to tell her what she has to do today,"

Steven: "Look they're talking, she doesn't look happy,"

Jamie: "Now they're laughing! What do you suppose they're talking about?"

Ben: "They're talking about Steven and what a pillock he is."

Steven: " No Ben, that would be you."

Odette: "She must be getting him to do something really horrible, like hand clean her personal toilet."

Jamie: "No way, he's teaching her to say, "Warp engines on full!" "

Steven: "I wonder if they really are talking about me?"

Odette: "You do fancy her don't you?!"

Steven: "No! Yes! Maybe a tiny bit, she is very nice. But she's Tuvoks"

Jamie: "No she's Chakotays, look at those two, wait a minute! Did he just wink at her?"

Ben: "Yeah! Maybe he has a threesome with her lesbien lover!"

Odette: "Why are you still here? He definately winked at her! Told you she's slept with everyone!"

Steven: "I know! Maybe he fancies her so he flirted and winked at her and now she's telling him her heart belongs to Tuvok,"

Odette: "Well he is frowning and shaking his head."

Ben: "Maybe..."

All: "SHUT UP!"

Jamie: "Look they're standing up! Maybe they're going to her place!"

Odette: "No, she's going to do her work, you know her, she's a workaholic."

Jamie: "Only because it takes her half an hour to work out the meaning of the words."

Steven: "Nah, She's going to Tuvok."

Ben: "WEll! I think..." Odette hits him round the head, "Ow!"

Steven: "Look she's coming this way! Act like I've said something really funny,"

silence

Steven: Thanks (!)

Captain Janeway: "Excuse me, Steven isn't it? I've finished your report when you want to come and get it,"

Steven: *blushing* "Er, yes, ok, yeah."

Captain Janeway leaves.

Odette: "Woah go Steven! You're in there mate, I tell you now you've been invited to go see her you will never escape."

Jamie: "Chakotays going to be jealous."

Steven: "I'm more worried about Tuvok."

Ben: "Here comes a threesome! Okay I'll shut up now."

Chakotay: *listening in* "Excuse me, I think you're all late for your shifts."

All: "Yes sir.

They all hastily finish and run out giggling.

END!