The rest of the night there was no dreams. When I woke up Michael was still there, looking at me. I never asked him, but I don't think that he slept at all that night.
"Good afternoon sleepyhead," he said, smiling. I smiled back and looked at the clock. I wondered if my mother was home.
"Is my mom home?" I asked.
"Yeah, she just got here," he answered as she poked her head around the door.
"Morning Maria," she said. There was something wrong with this picture. My mother had just found a boy, a boy who was practically a stranger to me, in my bed. But there she was acting as if it was normality.
Maybe it was because of her past, maybe she figured if she pretended it wasn't happening then it really wasn't. Or maybe she knew the truth. Maybe Michael had explained it all. I hoped that wasn't the reason she wasn't so accepting, I hoped to what ever being had created this wretched earth that he had not told her the real reason he was in my bed. I would rather have her believe anything than have her know the truth.
"Morning Mom," I said back, trying not to sound as confused as I really was.
"Pancakes will be ready when you get your lazy ass out of bed," she called as she walked away.
"Pancakes, at one o'clock in the afternoon?" Michael quipped. I laughed a little.
"Did you tell her?" I questioned. I figured I better just cut to the chase. No use beating around the bush.
"Just what she needed to know," he answered.
"Was she angry?"
"Not really. When she came in to check on you I didn't want her to wake you up so I made sure she was quite. She couldn't really get angry while you were sleeping. I told her that you seemed upset when you took me home yesterday and I asked if you wanted company. I told her we were talking and you fell asleep." I was surprised he had actually taken time to come up with a feasible story. But I guessed that he figured his ass was on the line and he better save it.
"Thanks," I told him pulling myself off the bed. He sat up stiffly. He grimaced as he moved. His muscles were sore from staying in one position all night. Again I felt bad for making him listen to me.
I started looking through drawers for something to wear. "I'm sorry about last night," I said as I threw a pair of sweat pants on the bed. I sounded like I had just given him bad sex or something. "I mean, I didn't mean to fall apart and drown you in my problems. I was surprised you didn't go running after you heard some of the things I told you."
"It takes a lot more than that to scare me away," he said. His voice was serious. I didn't want to have another serious conversation.
"All right," I said looking through my closet now. I found my favorite shirt and threw that on top of the pants. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. "I'm sorry for kissing you too. I know that you have Isabel…"
"It's no big deal," he cut me off. No big deal, well I guess. If you wanted to call the first kiss I gave of my own will not a big deal, go ahead. If you wanted to call the first kiss I put my heart and soul into not a big deal, than I guess love wasn't a big deal. I always thought love was supposed to be the biggest deal of your life. I had been wrong before.
"Oh," I said.
There must have been disappointment in my voice because he quickly added, "It's not like I stopped you."
I smiled a little to myself. "So now it's time you tell me about your life," I said, trying to change the subject.
"There isn't much to tell," he answered as I came into the room and pulled my shirt off. He blushed and looked away. I felt the smile on my lips broaden, but I quickly hid it. Michael coughed a little.
"Come on, you're an alien. You must have some interesting story to tell. And nothing could be worse than what I told you." I walked to the bed and grabbed my shirt. I saw him glance at me but he quickly looked away again. I pulled my shirt over my head and he looked back up.
"Well I came out of the pods when I was seven and was put in a foster home. But I don't' know why they didn't just say that Hank was adopting me. Foster care usually lasts a year or so, maybe a little more. This was a weird system. Any way, Hank was a bastard. He beat his wife until she ran away. Then he beat me until I left too. I left last year, right after things started to get dangerous. I was in danger with him, and in danger with the government. I mean, a guy can only handle so much."
I pulled my pants off and his eyes widened. This time he didn't look away. He pretended to concentrate on my face as he continued.
"After Max healed Liz they noticed things. Everyone knows aliens crashed in Roswell, right. Well Max, Isabel and I knew for sure. Then Liz and Alex did. Our secret was escaping and I was angry. I had been afraid of humans, like you were afraid of men. The only humans I had met had beaten me, excluded me. I was an outsider. So I ran with the reputation. I was known as the rebel, the bad seed.
"And I began to believe it. I'm hotheaded and stubborn and that got me in trouble with Max ever since we had found each other. We fight like children, like brothers. But soon I was getting myself in deeper. I was doing things that could get us in trouble with the law. I was doing things that could let everyone in on our secret. But all I cared about was myself, and our home.
"I think Isabel got with me for this reason. She's there to keep an eye on me and keep me out of trouble. Damn, she's gorgeous, but I don't think of her that way. When we were children she was like a mother to me. She held me when I cried because I had no family like hers. She was the one I went to when I was fighting with Max. She always understood me better than him anyway. But I don't love her like I should, and she doesn't love me."
I was sitting on the end of my bed now, pulling on a pair of socks. He was still watching me intensely. I guess he was waiting for my reaction. But all I could think of was his last statement. I knew it shouldn't make me as happy as it did, but I was elated. I felt bad about his life, I felt bad that his relationship didn't hold meaning, I knew how that felt, but I was happy that he was not tied to her.
"So that's my life. The alien hunters haven't found us yet, they haven't captured us, or cut us open. But every night I'm scared they will figure out our secret, that some man will come and carry us away from here. I'm afraid they will take me from the only people I have cared for in this world or make me watch them die. I'm afraid they will take Liz and Alex from me."
I felt his pain. It ripped through me, letting me forget my own problems. I took his hand in mine and squeezed it. "You're not going anywhere," I whispered. "Not until I'm finished with you at least." I pulled away, embarrassed, and walked towards the kitchen for those pancakes. I hadn't meant to show him my feelings. Hopefully he was like every other male on the face of the planet. Hopefully he hadn't caught on. He was an alien, but he definitely seemed like a born and bred earthling.
My mom was busy in the kitchen and didn't turn around when I walked in. I sat down at the table and drenched my pancakes in syrup. Michael shuffled in and looked down at the stack of food in front of me. He looked to my stomach and then back at the plate.
"If I ate that much I'd be the size of a cow," he stated.
"Thank you Michael Guerin," I said.
"No, I wasn't saying you were a pig, or a cow, or any kind of farm animal," I giggled as he said this, yes, I, Maria De Luca, giggled. I remembered giggling, I used to do a lot as a child. But there wasn't much to giggle about after that. "I was just saying, well I meant…"
"You know you're digging your own grave there," my mother said. "We'll be burying you in our living room if you keep it up."
Michael looked embarrassed. Served him right for calling me an animal. But to save myself from being called cruel I invited him to stay and eat with me. He refused, claiming he had work to do. Although I know he doesn't work on Sundays. I didn't argue though. I was sure he probably had things to do. he had been at my house for almost twelve hours.
"Thank you," I said to him. Michael just looked at me, and shifted feet. His uneasiness made me uncomfortable and I just turned back to eating. I heard the front door click open and shut.
"So what really went on?" my mother asked. I had known she had been too calm about this. Now it was time for the third degree.
"I was upset, he listened," I said. "I thought he already explained. You seemed ok with it then."
"That's because I understand the situation," she said. I knew she was looking at me, I could see her out of the corner of my eye. I chose not to look up.
"What situation is that?" I asked. "I didn't sleep with him."
"Sure looks like it."
"You have no right to judge me. So what if I did sleep with him?" I screamed. "What are you going to do? You're not my mother." I immediately felt sorry for my words. "Mom…I didn't…"
"You're right. I'm not much of a mother," she cried. Her voice was strained, I could feel the tears filling my throat as I heard the evidence of her own. "But dammit, I tried. Your father…"
"Was a bastard," I finished for her.
"I'm sorry," she said. I felt her arms wrap around me. I still couldn't look at her. There were still things between us. I thought it was all right after the first time. But we still had my father between us. He had kept me from her too long though. I had to tell her.
But she knew. I opened my mouth to speak. Only a few words escaped my lips but she quieted me. "I know," she whispered as she stroked my hair. "He told me, he told me…" she cried.
"It's all right. It's going to be all right." I didn't know why I was the one comforting, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I had been the victim, it had been me who was molested. But my mother had known all these years. She had been in the same position as me, powerless, in pain.
"I believe it will," she said. The sentence sounded odd, but it was perfect. That morning I had learned how to love. Michael had been sweet, and I was falling head over heels for the little alien. But it was my mother who gave me strength. She was an amazing woman. To hold a secret like that, fearing for your daughter's life every day, and your own after that. I only had myself to hold onto.
But now it was open. Now I was ready to live life. I was ready to forget the past and make my own future. But first I had to finish my pancakes.
----------
The End
(there will be a sequel sometime soon)
"Good afternoon sleepyhead," he said, smiling. I smiled back and looked at the clock. I wondered if my mother was home.
"Is my mom home?" I asked.
"Yeah, she just got here," he answered as she poked her head around the door.
"Morning Maria," she said. There was something wrong with this picture. My mother had just found a boy, a boy who was practically a stranger to me, in my bed. But there she was acting as if it was normality.
Maybe it was because of her past, maybe she figured if she pretended it wasn't happening then it really wasn't. Or maybe she knew the truth. Maybe Michael had explained it all. I hoped that wasn't the reason she wasn't so accepting, I hoped to what ever being had created this wretched earth that he had not told her the real reason he was in my bed. I would rather have her believe anything than have her know the truth.
"Morning Mom," I said back, trying not to sound as confused as I really was.
"Pancakes will be ready when you get your lazy ass out of bed," she called as she walked away.
"Pancakes, at one o'clock in the afternoon?" Michael quipped. I laughed a little.
"Did you tell her?" I questioned. I figured I better just cut to the chase. No use beating around the bush.
"Just what she needed to know," he answered.
"Was she angry?"
"Not really. When she came in to check on you I didn't want her to wake you up so I made sure she was quite. She couldn't really get angry while you were sleeping. I told her that you seemed upset when you took me home yesterday and I asked if you wanted company. I told her we were talking and you fell asleep." I was surprised he had actually taken time to come up with a feasible story. But I guessed that he figured his ass was on the line and he better save it.
"Thanks," I told him pulling myself off the bed. He sat up stiffly. He grimaced as he moved. His muscles were sore from staying in one position all night. Again I felt bad for making him listen to me.
I started looking through drawers for something to wear. "I'm sorry about last night," I said as I threw a pair of sweat pants on the bed. I sounded like I had just given him bad sex or something. "I mean, I didn't mean to fall apart and drown you in my problems. I was surprised you didn't go running after you heard some of the things I told you."
"It takes a lot more than that to scare me away," he said. His voice was serious. I didn't want to have another serious conversation.
"All right," I said looking through my closet now. I found my favorite shirt and threw that on top of the pants. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. "I'm sorry for kissing you too. I know that you have Isabel…"
"It's no big deal," he cut me off. No big deal, well I guess. If you wanted to call the first kiss I gave of my own will not a big deal, go ahead. If you wanted to call the first kiss I put my heart and soul into not a big deal, than I guess love wasn't a big deal. I always thought love was supposed to be the biggest deal of your life. I had been wrong before.
"Oh," I said.
There must have been disappointment in my voice because he quickly added, "It's not like I stopped you."
I smiled a little to myself. "So now it's time you tell me about your life," I said, trying to change the subject.
"There isn't much to tell," he answered as I came into the room and pulled my shirt off. He blushed and looked away. I felt the smile on my lips broaden, but I quickly hid it. Michael coughed a little.
"Come on, you're an alien. You must have some interesting story to tell. And nothing could be worse than what I told you." I walked to the bed and grabbed my shirt. I saw him glance at me but he quickly looked away again. I pulled my shirt over my head and he looked back up.
"Well I came out of the pods when I was seven and was put in a foster home. But I don't' know why they didn't just say that Hank was adopting me. Foster care usually lasts a year or so, maybe a little more. This was a weird system. Any way, Hank was a bastard. He beat his wife until she ran away. Then he beat me until I left too. I left last year, right after things started to get dangerous. I was in danger with him, and in danger with the government. I mean, a guy can only handle so much."
I pulled my pants off and his eyes widened. This time he didn't look away. He pretended to concentrate on my face as he continued.
"After Max healed Liz they noticed things. Everyone knows aliens crashed in Roswell, right. Well Max, Isabel and I knew for sure. Then Liz and Alex did. Our secret was escaping and I was angry. I had been afraid of humans, like you were afraid of men. The only humans I had met had beaten me, excluded me. I was an outsider. So I ran with the reputation. I was known as the rebel, the bad seed.
"And I began to believe it. I'm hotheaded and stubborn and that got me in trouble with Max ever since we had found each other. We fight like children, like brothers. But soon I was getting myself in deeper. I was doing things that could get us in trouble with the law. I was doing things that could let everyone in on our secret. But all I cared about was myself, and our home.
"I think Isabel got with me for this reason. She's there to keep an eye on me and keep me out of trouble. Damn, she's gorgeous, but I don't think of her that way. When we were children she was like a mother to me. She held me when I cried because I had no family like hers. She was the one I went to when I was fighting with Max. She always understood me better than him anyway. But I don't love her like I should, and she doesn't love me."
I was sitting on the end of my bed now, pulling on a pair of socks. He was still watching me intensely. I guess he was waiting for my reaction. But all I could think of was his last statement. I knew it shouldn't make me as happy as it did, but I was elated. I felt bad about his life, I felt bad that his relationship didn't hold meaning, I knew how that felt, but I was happy that he was not tied to her.
"So that's my life. The alien hunters haven't found us yet, they haven't captured us, or cut us open. But every night I'm scared they will figure out our secret, that some man will come and carry us away from here. I'm afraid they will take me from the only people I have cared for in this world or make me watch them die. I'm afraid they will take Liz and Alex from me."
I felt his pain. It ripped through me, letting me forget my own problems. I took his hand in mine and squeezed it. "You're not going anywhere," I whispered. "Not until I'm finished with you at least." I pulled away, embarrassed, and walked towards the kitchen for those pancakes. I hadn't meant to show him my feelings. Hopefully he was like every other male on the face of the planet. Hopefully he hadn't caught on. He was an alien, but he definitely seemed like a born and bred earthling.
My mom was busy in the kitchen and didn't turn around when I walked in. I sat down at the table and drenched my pancakes in syrup. Michael shuffled in and looked down at the stack of food in front of me. He looked to my stomach and then back at the plate.
"If I ate that much I'd be the size of a cow," he stated.
"Thank you Michael Guerin," I said.
"No, I wasn't saying you were a pig, or a cow, or any kind of farm animal," I giggled as he said this, yes, I, Maria De Luca, giggled. I remembered giggling, I used to do a lot as a child. But there wasn't much to giggle about after that. "I was just saying, well I meant…"
"You know you're digging your own grave there," my mother said. "We'll be burying you in our living room if you keep it up."
Michael looked embarrassed. Served him right for calling me an animal. But to save myself from being called cruel I invited him to stay and eat with me. He refused, claiming he had work to do. Although I know he doesn't work on Sundays. I didn't argue though. I was sure he probably had things to do. he had been at my house for almost twelve hours.
"Thank you," I said to him. Michael just looked at me, and shifted feet. His uneasiness made me uncomfortable and I just turned back to eating. I heard the front door click open and shut.
"So what really went on?" my mother asked. I had known she had been too calm about this. Now it was time for the third degree.
"I was upset, he listened," I said. "I thought he already explained. You seemed ok with it then."
"That's because I understand the situation," she said. I knew she was looking at me, I could see her out of the corner of my eye. I chose not to look up.
"What situation is that?" I asked. "I didn't sleep with him."
"Sure looks like it."
"You have no right to judge me. So what if I did sleep with him?" I screamed. "What are you going to do? You're not my mother." I immediately felt sorry for my words. "Mom…I didn't…"
"You're right. I'm not much of a mother," she cried. Her voice was strained, I could feel the tears filling my throat as I heard the evidence of her own. "But dammit, I tried. Your father…"
"Was a bastard," I finished for her.
"I'm sorry," she said. I felt her arms wrap around me. I still couldn't look at her. There were still things between us. I thought it was all right after the first time. But we still had my father between us. He had kept me from her too long though. I had to tell her.
But she knew. I opened my mouth to speak. Only a few words escaped my lips but she quieted me. "I know," she whispered as she stroked my hair. "He told me, he told me…" she cried.
"It's all right. It's going to be all right." I didn't know why I was the one comforting, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I had been the victim, it had been me who was molested. But my mother had known all these years. She had been in the same position as me, powerless, in pain.
"I believe it will," she said. The sentence sounded odd, but it was perfect. That morning I had learned how to love. Michael had been sweet, and I was falling head over heels for the little alien. But it was my mother who gave me strength. She was an amazing woman. To hold a secret like that, fearing for your daughter's life every day, and your own after that. I only had myself to hold onto.
But now it was open. Now I was ready to live life. I was ready to forget the past and make my own future. But first I had to finish my pancakes.
----------
The End
(there will be a sequel sometime soon)