True Destiny
By Soul Hunter
"Everything is as it should be..."
Chapter Nine
They have never had such a horrible awakening. For the past three days, the host of youthful gladiators had been exulting in a world where dreams were real, strife was nonexistent and past crimes had been completely forgotten. If there was such a thing as a perfect world, that would have been it. They were so immersed in the plane of their hearts' wishes that to lie in doubt would be the greatest sin of all.
Yet someone committed that transgression, someone whose ties with a consciousness that can reach out to great distances in time gave him just the right kind of skepticism to utterly shatter this all-encompassing prison of contentment.
He stood now, agitated by the resistance of one who did not wish to let go of the mirage.
"Seifer, even you can't possibly stoop so low as to accept all these knowing that they're all a lie. Come on, don't make this harder than it already is." Squall blurted out to the sheer torment of his rival.
"YOU have no idea how it feels for me, Squall!" Seifer shot back with greater ardor. "I NEED THIS!"
"What do you want?" Squall countered. "If being SeeD commander is this important to you, I'd gladly resign and have you up for recommendation. I don't care! I just wanna go back to my real life."
Seifer scoffed, shaking his head in gaudy condescension.
"You really don't get it, do you?"
"Get what?"
"Do you think I care about your position? Do you actually believe that I want it for myself? Who cares if I become SeeD commander? Who friggin' cares?!?"
Squall opted not to answer back, as his questioning glare was enough to send the message of his confusion.
"I NEED THE ACCEPTANCE! I need to see from everyone that they have completely forgotten about that incredibly stupid 'sorceress' knight' stunt I pulled! I need to know that I was already forgiven by the people I hurt!"
He could hardly believe his ears, hearing this man profess his screaming repentance for the misdeed of pledging his unwavering alliance to the entity that threatened his own roots. Yes, Seifer may have mustered enough humility to strive to regain his place within the esteemed halls of Garden, which he so callously relinquished in favor of his so-called 'romantic dream.' But actually confessing his need for forgiveness? Squall had known his arch-rival for as far as he can remember. And among the characteristics that Seifer brandished through all those years, contriteness was not one of them. For whatever indiscretion he had committed, he was never known to be remorseful about any of them.
Until now, that is. And for the first time, Squall recognized the pain eating through his heart; the tormenting accusations of guilt that never really relinquished until a short while ago when all of them were still trapped in that false reality. The reality that gave Seifer the exoneration that he needed so desperately. And the reality that he knew they must leave behind now if he can somehow convince his childhood rival to do so.
"Seifer, if you weren't already forgiven and accepted back, do you think you'd still be admitted by Headmaster and Matron? What else do you need to see, the entire population of Garden holding placards telling you just what you need to know?"
He didn't know if he was going to feel insulted by Squall's remark or not. And given his personality, Seifer's first impulse would naturally be to lash out at him. But looking at the black-garbed warrior, the man who bore the similar scar suddenly remembered the friendship they shared in the virtual plane.
And the memory stilled his archetypal belligerence.
"You will never understand, Squall" He said. "You will never know how it feels to have been the stupid puppet"
"That's right, I won't. But I don't have to. That's for you to deal with, Seifer. And this time, you have to deal with it responsibly if you hope to survive the rest of your life with some integrity intact."
They stared at each other, seemingly for the first time after a million years of severance. Squall saw a rejuvenated spark in Seifer's eyes. But the SeeD commander (the real one) didn't know if he should be relieved for that or not.
He should know not to put his hopes up too much.
"What do you say, Squall? One last time, for old times' sake." Seifer echoed, assuming his dreadfully familiar battle stance to the consternation of his arch-rival. "Winner takes all."
It seemed they won't all be making out of this dream state alive. The only question now was who will?
Squall accepted the challenge, deeming it the only way to resolve this ostensibly hopeless deadlock. For one more time, he unsheathed the Lionheart. Though sad with the prospect, there was no question in his mind of the necessary tragedy that they must suffer for the sake of taking back their real lives. Tonight, one of them dies.
"No more, please."
Both combatants paused to the sound of that gently pleading voice. The man with the gray overcoat then locked gazes with the girl garbed in blue.
"Seifer, no more. Let's just go home." Rinoa softly implored her once beloved.
There iss always a first for everything. In this case, it was the totally surprising look of meek surrender in Seifer's face upon fixing his sight on the sole person who made him aware of his soft side. As he stared at Rinoa, the dispirited lad remembered those moments Walking in the park, dancing, quiet conversations over lunch, stolen kisses at a movie, and her first attempt at cooking a roast.
And he wasn't reminiscing upon the events of dream state.
It was either the invisible owner of the thunderous voice did it intentionally or merely neglected to mention it. But Seifer knew that his desire for acceptance wasn't the only longing in his heart that saw realization in this alternate existence. And to his utter sadness, it was this one deep yearning that he knew he will never see in stepping back into the real world.
'No more' the phrase echoed repeatedly into his heart. The last time he heard it from her, he didn't listen, foolishly taking heed of the empty call of one deceitful voice's promise of grandeur. And because of the guilt born of that despicable deed, Seifer was inadvertently sentenced to a long and arduous trek of bitter penance, of trying to live with the regret of that excruciatingly ill decision. He made a vow then of not making the same mistake twice of not turning a deaf ear to the plea of the only woman he truly loved.
Seifer lowered his head. It was now time to fulfill that vow.
----------
"Fujin, he's awake! FUJIN!!!"
Responding to Raijin's frantic holler, his platinum-locked partner came rushing in, breathing deep in relief upon seeing Seifer slowly emerging from his extended slumber. Fujin then ran to the kitchen, coming back mere moments later with a glass of water that she subsequently offered to her still groggy friend.
"DRINK." She uttered as Seifer gradually regained awareness of his state. He eventually looked at one half of his posse with that concerned look in her one exposed eye, then promptly ignored her offer. Raijin and Fujin just looked at each other quizzically, wondering about Seifer's unusual behavior.
They then heard a loud, crashing sound. Reacting frenziedly, the pair scampered to the kitchen to see Seifer shaking in his grief, his bloodied right hand embedded in a gaping hole punched right through the hapless wooden wall.
----------
Yet, he was not the only one rousing from that deep sleep with a melancholic heart. At that very moment, Selphie sat quietly by the edge of the bed inside a Dollet hotel room she checked into four days previous. Like Seifer, she remembered quite vividly the precious moments her heart fabricated in the dream state she had just been extricated from.
Inadvertently, she reminisced on one event prior to her lonely trek from the communication tower facility * that one event that must have fueled the life she led in the alternate reality.
Selphie broke down into sobs of hurt the same hurt that Zell was currently languishing under while he lay in lonesome rest inside a room in the fabled Balamb Hotel.
----------
The eccentric seeker with the preposterous garment shuddered with sheer frustration. Previously, he had thought himself as being on top of the world, like he always felt whenever things went his way. And he thought this particular quest was no different from the others he had embarked on. Sketchy at first, his formulas eventually began to take shape, much to his delight.
But not anymore. As the wavelength patterns assumed a gross irregularity, his face consequently reddened with anxious annoyance. How could he have missed those factors? How could he be so stupid as to overlook the element of resistance? Not one degree of the human will that existed could possibly be stronger than his machinations. He was so sure of that, until he saw his four unwilling subjects break free from their forcibly imposed coma.
Shaking his queasy head, Squall tried to make sense of everything that came down during the last hour. His eyesight then gradually normalized to reveal his three teammates Rinoa, Quistis and Irvine similarly struggling to regain their composure after what felt like a flickering journey through the stars. Wandering his attention one more time, the SeeD leader subsequently recognized a high tech lab of some sort.
The sound of that irritatingly familiar voice confirmed his suspicion.
"Vat are you all doing up? You're not zupposed to be awake, my research iz not finished yet!"
"Odine" He muttered with indignation upon seeing the diminutive scientist through the wide glass panel separating the observation room from the quarantine chamber holding them. He also took notice of another room adjacent to their own, and saw Ellone strapped on a chair with all kinds of electronic gadgets connected to her head via a series of luminescent cords and wires.
It all then came back to the SeeD commander. A little more than a week ago, he was admitted in a hospital in Esthar together with Rinoa and Irvine for treatment of radiation poisoning after a prior emergency mission *. They had just checked out when they received a summons from Laguna regarding the mysterious disappearance of Ellone. And together with Quistis, they commenced an investigation that eventually led them to Dr. Odine's lab. Everything was blurry after that, until this moment when he realized that not only was the unscrupulous scientist responsible for his adopted sister's abduction, but he also somehow overpowered the four of them and then made them into guinea pigs for this new experiment he was conducting.
"Irvine, get Ellone." He ordered his comrade prior to pulling his weapon out of its scabbard. A quick swing subsequently reduced the window panel into shards, bringing them face to face with Dr. Odine.
"You have to understand." The stuttering miscreant voiced out. "Someone gave me zis formula zat vill revolutionize my study of ze human mind. I cannot pass on ze oppor"
"You have really outdone yourself this time, Odine." Squall snapped back without his usual courtesy. "What's next, subjugating the entire Estharian population?"
"No, no! I can assure you, ze effects of zis experiment iz only temporary. You vill forget everything after a few da"
An ear-piercing crack echoed, startling them all. Squall then turned, a new wave of alarm gripping him upon noticing Quistis with her uncoiled whip hanging from her quivering hand.
"Squall, step aside."
"Quisty, no. This is not the wa"
"STEP ASIDE."
He had never seen her filled with so much hatred. And he certainly feared the worst, but Squall knew at this point that there was no way to talk down the enraged instructor. Reluctantly, the SeeD commander stepped back to get out of his deputy's way.
Her eyes burned with pure indignation, consequently rendering her gentle and reserved ways a mere memory. Quistis stepped forward, ever slowly, her hand clasped tightly around the handle of the frightful Save The Queen. This weapon, with that deadly, bladed tip, had been seen to break open the tough hides of even the strongest Hexadragons with a single blow. Knowing this, Squall and Rinoa shuddered, rightly assessing that Quistis can very well split Dr. Odine in two. And even if it didn't, it really mattered little, as the two SeeDs sensed their uncharacteristically fierce comrade indiscriminately junction all of her stocked Death spells into her status attack. Squall wanted so badly to try and restrain the instructor, if only to keep her from turning into a murderer.
But he stood down, opting to take the risk of trusting her to do the right thing.
Quistis' eyes bore into the frightened scientist's frail form, as if she was looking at the most hateful thing ever spawned in the universe. She tried to talk if only to let him know of the immense hurt he had subjected her under by giving a false taste of the heaven she so utterly desired. But the incredible agony prevented her from doing so. Consequently, Quistis opted for the next best thing, and whirled the golden whip while bellowing a most horrifically barbarous scream.
"AAAAAHHHH!!!!!"
The bladed tip lashed out, its sound barrier-breaking onslaught brutally striking a defenseless control console right behind Dr. Odine. As the instrument exploded into blinding flashes and popping sounds, Quistis made a pivot, with the tip of her weapon hurtling through the air anew and violently pummeling a row of workstations that were promptly reduced into a melange of smoke-belching heap. The golden whip cut yet another swath and found its target of sensitive electronic monitoring gauges concealed inside a protective layer of fiberglass chutes, which didn't even come close to providing adequate protection.
"NO! NOT ZAT!!!" Odine screamed when he noticed the instructor venting her ire on an orange colored box tucked inconspicuously at the far corner of the monitor chamber. "Zat iz ze power con"
His voice became drowned in the din of electrical hisses and deafening blasts as Quistis's elongated weapon destroyed the power control array. Panting to catch her breath, she stopped momentarily to note the black smoke starting to fill the room.
"Are you finished?" Squall asked.
"I haven't even started yet." Quistis responded with a steeled voice. "Get Ellone and that twit out of here."
He complied without saying a word, grabbing Odine's left ankle the same way that Irvine took hold of the right. Quistis then made sure that they had boarded the transport bubble before casually walking inside the concealed section that was supposed to be the eccentric scientist's most sacred holding.
They had merely stepped out of the facility when a deafening explosion shook the polymer embankment of the laboratory perimeters. The four turned back, only to witness in their horror the edifice flaring up into a blazing hellfire.
"Oh no! QUISTY!!!" Rinoa hollered in utter shock as she watched with wide-eyed trepidation the complete and utter destruction of the place that had been a spawning ground for many a research of the scientist whose machinations in the past have successfully destroyed what could have been a happy family. The roaring inferno raged with unrelenting fury, its image all the more made horrible by the knowledge that their friend was still in the midst of the upheaval.
"Irvine, come on!" Squall shouted back as he headed for the burning building. The Sword and The Gun then stopped, fear and relief besieging them while witnessing the filthy and disheveled form of the instructor walking out of the carnage.
"Quisty, you alright?" Squall quickly asked while attending to his deputy.
She gazes back at him with eyes that seem to have been emptied of all its rage. But in its place was an undeniable, aching melancholy. Squall wasn't able to endure her sad look, and trained his sight away.
"Irvine" Quistis turned to the gunslinger. "Revive Carbuncle for me, will you?"
To Be Concluded
Chapter Ten
Conclusion
That was the last time, she promised to herself. As she sat on her hospital bed, Ellone indulged in sullen recollection of some of the most horrible moments in her past. Instances that would have made a repeat performance had Squall and his crew not found her when they did.
She hated feeling this anger, but she can't just shake it off just the same. What Dr. Odine did to her had resulted in the return of a slew of traumatic memories that took nearly all of her ten years spent with the White SeeDs to eradicate from her fragile psyche. She thought she was finally done with that ordeal even as her beloved 'uncle', Laguna, unwisely retained the services of the disgusting mockery of a man of science. His last inconsiderate offense eventually proved her wrong.
And it was now time to do something about it. Thankfully, she recalled that just concluded phone conversation with Laguna. Ellone smiled contentedly, keeping in her mind the appointment she has two days from now of appearing in court to testify against Dr. Odine. Frankly, she really didn't need to show up at all knowing that the trial was only a formality to finally make the scientist pay for all his misdeeds. But she wanted to see the look on his face after the judge gives him at least three decades in maximum security incarceration.
A series of knocks then disturbed her revelry.
"Come in" Ellone voiced out, then smiled at the sight of her adopted brother paying her a visit.
"Hi, Sis."
"Squall!" She echoed with delight. "Oh, you sure are a sight for sore eyes!"
"Have you heard the news?" He opened cheerily.
"If you're talking about that fungus getting arrested, yeah. Uncle Laguna just called me about it."
Squall noted the evident ire in the manner Ellone echoed her response, which brought him to briefly recall their journeys into the past that made them witness -- among other things -- the gross impassivity of Dr. Odine in subjecting her under a horrid array of experiments just to serve his twisted idiosyncrasies. He concurred with the events; the knowledge-obsessed scientist definitely deserved whatever punishment will be given him.
The recollection then initiated a train of thoughts that led him to a haunting question.
"Ellone was it really my mother who I saw in that dream? How was it possible?"
She sighed before attempting an explanation. "All I know is Dr. Odine used a procedure that was different from the one before when I was a child. Back then, he merely attempted to study my brainwave patterns. But this time, he used some chemical to induce a hallucinogenic effect on me, hoping that my hysteria will increase my powers and, instead of just capturing your consciousness and carrying it somewhere else, create an entire virtual reality with your own thoughts and desires.
"Well, apparently it worked. I saw through all of you, and even though I hated it, I was forced to learn your secrets to create that artificial world in your minds."
"Secrets?" Squall muttered.
"Don't worry." Ellone replied in anticipation of his concern. "I didn't see anything in Rinoa that can be considered a secret. She was just, pardon the term, an accessory to someone else's dream."
"Whose dream?"
She tossed a sheepish look at her adopted brother. "Would you mind if I just keep it to myself? It's not ethical. Besides, I really didn't want all of this. Some of those secrets I discovered were really" Ellone trailed off, opting not to continue with the word 'disturbing' as a description of the clandestine wish held by two of Squall's colleagues.
"Anyway, about your other question yes and no."
"Huh?"
"No, because aunt Raine died a long time ago. She really can't be physically or even mentally present in your dream world. And yes because the one that you saw was a collection of every memory and every knowledge I have of her. She wasn't really there to answer to your wish it was my mind that made her appear. But it's the closest to the real thing than any other can possibly get."
A shadow of sadness fell on the SeeD leader with the realization that he never really met his mother, and instead was only treated by the presence of Ellone's mental picture.
"But, she seemed so real. She embraced me and told me that she loves me very much. It all felt so real I was so happy"
"Squall" Ellone tenderly caressed his face. "I was there when you were born. I saw how aunt Raine cried because of the happiness when she first heard you cry. I I've never seen nor felt so much love especially when she took you from the midwife and held you. She did hold you, but you were still too young to know it."
His face lit up. Could it be?
"When aunt Raine hugged you in your dream, it was really the time she was hugging you after she gave birth to you. It was the embrace of a mother thirsting for her child's touch. And what you felt is exactly the same thing that you did when you were still a baby. Everything just came back to you on account of the illusion. But the warmth you felt, the love that filled your heart they were your memories, not mine. They were all real."
"I" Squall stammered, torn between the joy of knowing his mother's love, and the pain of looking toward the future without her. "I miss her so much I'd give anything just to have her back with us. How could this be when I never even knew her?"
"You did, Squall." Ellone smiled warmly. "You do. Aunt Raine is you, Squall. Everything you are, you took from her."
"Heh" He scoffed while wiping the tears from his eyes. "So that's why I found it hard to believe Laguna's my father."
She looked fondly at him and those puppy dog eyes, half-amused and half-reminiscent of times past.
"She loved you very much, Squall. Believe me."
"I believe you. And I love her too Do you think she knows this, Sis?"
"I'm sure" Ellone assuaged Squall, prior to being reminded of another unfinished business.
"And I'm sure you need to run off and talk to someone."
He looked at her, as if asking for shelter from having to do this daunting task. Ellone stared back and shook her head in gentle rebuke.
"She is you're business, Squall. Once and for all, you have to settle up with Quistis. You owe her that much for all the sacrifices she's done for you."
"Yeah you're right. I'll go talk to her."
----------
The lilting rhythms of the grand piano soared into the air with an invite for everyone to move with its melodies. No one obliged, for that everyone was composed only of the man with the gray coat and the scar running from left down to right. She looked at him, reluctance setting in at the prospect of facing her old beau for only the second time. Here of all places.
Perhaps he did it on purpose. What was Seifer up to for asking to meet her here?
Deciding that the sooner it started, the sooner it will finish, Rinoa proceeded to the table at the far end of the nightclub. The one table hidden behind a lush growth of decorative fauna. She knew this table quite well.
"Uh Hello. Sorry I'm late."
Seifer turned around, uncertainty written all over his face as he saw her approaching. Rinoa took note of his silence as she sat down and motioned for the usual after recognizing the familiar face of the waitress.
For the entire time that it took for her drink to be delivered, Rinoa just sat there, waiting anxiously for Seifer to begin with his piece. Curiosity started to get the better of her for each second he prolonged his reticence. Until finally, she wasn't able to stay her suspense any longer.
"So what's up?" She uneasily echoed. He didn't answer, and instead takes another long swig of the foaming black Guinness served before him. The waitress arrived with a tall glass of Four Seasons, after which the dark-haired lass took a demure sip, all the while staring intently at her host.
When she cast her eyes downward, Seifer decided to look up at her. Rinoa nearly choked upon his startling statement.
"Now you know"
She feigned a look of ignorance by raising her right eyebrow curiously. But she knew only too well what he was referring to. At the same time, the young sorceress also knew that whatever will transpire today will not be having any easy resolution in light of the recent tumult that spawned this revelation of hidden feelings. Looking back at Seifer, Rinoa sighed deeply while putting the glass down on the table.
He noticed her uneasiness, subsequently plunging him into a sinking despair.
"You know" the blonde lad followed up. "You may find this hard to believe, but I missed you"
Rinoa still maintained her stillness, terribly uncomfortable of what seemed to be her former beau's unabashed and admittedly unexpected confession. His words would have caressed her heart with immeasurable gladness had he uttered them eighteen months earlier. But the curse of time had already taken its toll on her weary heart.
"I find that hard to believe" She snapped back, bitterness evident in her voice. "It hardly showed when you when"
Abruptly gripped by a shameful cognizance, Rinoa brought her hands over her mouth, repentant of the words she just spewed out.
"Ohmigosh!" She blurted out. "I I'm sorry, Seifer."
Surprisingly enough, Rinoa just realized a startling revelation born of her scornful repartee. Finding it hard to believe, she nevertheless acknowledged the plain truth that she was, in fact, still bitter by his betrayal. And one look back at her utterance said it all for Seifer.
" There's not a day in my life since then that I didn't regret doing that"
She wanted to tell him off, wanted to say that it was just right for him to feel that way. But looking at his anguished expression, Rinoa's being became filled with a pity that lashes on her for actually considering those callous thoughts of accusation. Yes, he may deserve whatever anguish was tormenting him at this very moment. But hasn't Seifer suffered enough? Given, his deeds did call for more than the conventional measure of reproach from those directly affected. She being the foremost. But wasn't it enough for this misguided soul to know that he now had to work hard to regain the stature that he so effortlessly secured and then foolishly lost?
And wasn't it sufficient that he knew he has lost one more thing something that he can never, ever take back?
As if perceiving the tempest in her thoughts, Seifer braved a question whose answer he had been dreading since that fateful moment of repentance inside the nexus of what used to be known as Lunatic Pandora.
"Rin have I lost you?"
Rinoa knew she needed to answer that foreboding question. But for reasons obvious, kindness brought her lips to a tormented stillness.
But why did he have to insist? Why did he have to bring the hurt upon himself?
"Have I?"
" Yes"
Rinoa's eyes were looking down, fearful of seeing what must be an excruciating look in the now moistening eyes of the repentant lad. And yet, the haunting vision of his regret gnawed in her mind like a lingering disease. She hated to see it. And yet she knew she needed to.
With much effort, she lifted her eyes, consequently bringing an ache in her heart upon witnessing the vulnerability in that once lofty face. And she realized, if Seifer can lay down his defenses to admit the pain of losing her, she can certainly do no less. It was time to open her heart to him once and for all.
"You You hurt me"
"I know" echoed Seifer's breaking voice. " And you can't imagine how much I hate myself for it."
His anguished confession drew the curtain up to reveal a glaring truth. He was back. As she gazed with her sad eyes, Rinoa became awash with the recognition of that man the man she once grew to love without reservation. She had once thought him lost forever in the deluge of his twisted dreams. And though she never showed it to anybody, the pain that she felt then tormented her in the proper manner a scorned lover should be. Strangely enough, she still remembered the pain.
If anything, she ought to be glad for his return. This was the Seifer that she remembered, the one who once cherished her and made her feel like she was the most important person in the world for him.
But no. For though she saw the man she once loved
She felt the love no longer.
A glaring sentiment reflected in her eyes that he easily read with his forlorn heart. And Seifer can utter only one thing.
" For what its worth, I'm so sorry"
" I'm sorry too" She answered with a heavy wish that she could somehow ease his burden. But she knew that she can't. The old passion had died. It's a hard and painful truth that cannot be denied.
However, another facet of reality stirred in her mind. A facet that she knew she could never reveal that though the flames may already have been extinguished, a soft spot will linger on. Until when? Only time can tell.
After all, a first love will always be a first love. Even though it was now relegated to a mere memory.
"I have to go" Rinoa echoed cautiously while intently watching out for his reaction. But Seifer just smiled, a bitter smile of the defeat that he had no choice but to accept.
"Take care of yourself" He returned, prompting her to push back her seat.
But as she took her first step, Seifer's bare hand abruptly took hold of her wrist. Rinoa turned to him, almost fearful of what he will do next. It seemed that she did have reason to fear when Seifer drew close.
And yet, fear transformed into arcane comfort when his lips gently touched her cheeks. She looked back at him after the kiss and felt his fingers tenderly caressing her lips.
For Seifer, this was the final display of affection. Though he wished with all his heart for an encore, he had no choice but to acknowledge the irreversible consequences of his ill-fated decision. He was left with no other option but to steel himself in living with these painful consequences that he foolishly brought to himself. There was really nothing he can do anymore.
He then watched, silently, as Rinoa walked out of the bar.
Out of his life.
----------
He had lost track of how long he had been standing there. Looking at his watch, Squall fully expected for her second period to be over since ten minutes ago. But the usually festive discussion Quistis was having with her students coupled with the next class' impromptu camping trip to the Alcauld Forests gave the instructor the luxury of an extension that, not surprisingly, was welcomed wholeheartedly by her class. He decided to wait a little longer, all the while observing the cheerful mood of his deputy. Squall pondered on Quistis' lively demeanor, and didn't know whether to feel happy or concerned because of it.
"Hey, Squall." She greeted with vivacity after dismissing her students. "How long have you been standing there?"
"Oh not long" He came back untruthfully.
Quistis momentarily attended to her personal planner before turning back to him. "Lucky me, I have a whole period free to catch up on my reading. Wanna walk me to the library?"
"Uhh okay" Squall quipped, hiding his perplexity as he marveled at her unexpectedly lively behavior.
Truthfully, he wasn't even expecting her to talk to him at all, given the ordeal that they all just went through. Playing with the possibility that Quistis may have dismissed the whole experience, his rational thinking nevertheless shot down his mind babble. The experience they all had was not something that can be treated mundanely. Something was up, and he needed to know what it was.
"Quisty uhh can I talk to you?"
"No" She quipped. "Go talk to a wall. I'm busy right now."
Her rejoinder was obviously done in jest. But the high strung mood in his mind subsequently brought him into a mild state of paranoia. Squall looked at her with his patented scowl.
"Geez, I'm kidding, okay? Lighten up!" Quistis blurted out when she noticed his expression. "I know what you want to talk to me about, so let's have it."
This was becoming a bit irritating, he thought. What was she really up to?
"I I'm sorry about what happened there I mean"
Quistis flashed her trademark sweet glare, echoing a more confounding series of words to the SeeD leader.
"Oh, okay. But why are you apologizing? It's not really anyone's fault outside of that twerp. Besides, we really shouldn't dwell on it."
"Really?" He blurted out with mild surprise, even as her unusual ebullience brought him to a more comfortable disposition. "You You okay with that?"
Quistis stopped walking and turned to Squall.
"Well, I'd be a hypocrite if I say yes. I mean, you saw how fuming mad I was because of it, right?" She responded with a slightly more serious facade. "But the thing is it's not real. None of them were. So why waste a lot of effort and energy in bringing back those things or even talking about them?"
More abnormality, Squall thought.
"So you are okay with it."
"No" She answered curtly with the smile on her lips and the hurt in her eyes. "I can never be 'okay' with it as if it's just some bad feedback I received from one of my classes."
Squall almost felt like banging his head against the wall for bringing up the subject. But he likewise knew he had to carry this through now.
"So, will you be alright?"
"I guess so" Quistis looked at him. She was still smiling, but the weight in her chest projected by her skipping voice was starting to show her despondency. "Besides, I really have no choice"
"Quisty"
"Squall, don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I admit things will be a lot more difficult now more than ever. I mean, you have to understand. Even though it was only a few days, I lived the life of your wife something that I've always wanted. Then knowing it all to be counterfeit and at the same time seeing you and interacting with you on a daily basis I don't know. All I know is I should be expecting some rough sailing, but I don't know until when."
"But Odine said"
"Forget about that little demon." Quistis snapped back. "Maybe his damn theory is correct. But there are things that you just won't forget. Especially when you've had them from the beginning."
Quistis was still flashing her comely smile, but this time the regret in her heart had become more evident. Consequently, her facial expression silently became a raging battlefield between her desire to bury her sadness with a jolly mask and the powerful yearning in her heart that had always been unrequited. Though she fought valiantly to maintain her spirited charade, the instructor was also aware of her transparency.
Her heart was still breaking, and no amount of pretentious zest will ever deny that.
And yet Quistis still persisted with her sugary grin that all the more hurled a hundred stiletto darts into Squall's heart. He didn't know if she was trying to be strong to preserve her dignity or to keep him from feeling guilty. But Squall knew that one single push on the wrong direction will blow down whatever resolve she wielded, like a house made from a deck of cards.
He tried to imprison his screaming desire to do that one push. For as long as he stared at her, the more he realized that the effects of dream state have not been flushed fully from his system. Deep inside, he still wanted to hold her like he did in that alternate existence.
And he knew this to be a lie, consequently battling his longing while taking comfort from the fact that such after-effect will soon fade.
But for Quistis, it will never disappear, for it had been rooted deep in her being for as long as she can remember.
A moment of weakness prevailed, with Squall allowing his adversary to win by landing a soft kiss on Quistis' lips. She responded with ardor, deeming this to be the last time for her to cherish this fleeting yet blissful moment. And when their lips parted, they knew it to be permanent.
"Squall, there's one thing I would like to ask of you."
"Anything"
" Let me love you from afar"
----------
The dark alleys laughed at the prospect of their meal. At one end, a door stood, leading to nowhere in particular. And at the other, his satisfied form sat, contented as a well-fed babe. He waved his hands and wove his touch to the air, forming resplendent swirls that solidified into distinctive figures of surveillance that he perennially used to advance the cause of his quest.
He ran his fingers under his chin, and shook his head in mock regret at the sight of his height-impaired, non-volunteer operative, who manipulated his designs from the lit end. His skills would have been put to better use had he been preserved from being used as the fall guy.
But then, Dr. Odine had never been and will never be a huge loss. He had served his purpose and was no longer needed. Let the government of men decide on his fate.
He then trained his undivided attention to the puppets of the play. People whom he led to their desired lives through an illusion created by their minds. For unknowingly, as they conducted their business in that unreal plane, the clandestine truths about their beings were unwittingly being awarded to the dream-giver.
He grinned. He now possessed all of their secrets.
¿The End?