While I usually do not give much of
an introduction, I thought this story might need one. First, be warned, if you have not seen (or at least read) TOW the
Truth About London this will not make much sense. Second, and maybe obviously, this is a spoiler for TOW the Truth
About London. So, if you do not want to
know what happened…DO NOT READ ANY FUTHER!!! OK, for those who are still with me, I'll move on. As some of you may or may not know, I was very
anxious about what Friends was going to do about London BABY! Personally, I think they did a great job; it
was just too short to suit me. So I
sort of filled it in a little. I hope
you enjoy my "additions".
TOW the Talk
Chandler headed straight up to his and Monica's apartment after talking with Joey. As he walked he thought about what Joey had said. That Monica wanted him, not for one night, but for the rest of her life. He also thought about what Monica had tried to tell him before he left the apartment. She had said that she was glad Joey hadn't been there that night. He hadn't been angry when he walked out on them, but hurt. London had been the perfect beginning to the perfect relationship; his Mom couldn't have written it better. Now it was ruined because Monica had wanted Joey, not him. Why had she kissed him that night? Why had she slept with him? Had he just been a substitute for his roommate, a stand-in? Standing at the door to the apartment he shared with his fiancée, Chandler steeled himself to face the truth. Whatever it was, it wouldn't end anything between them; he loved Monica too much for that. However, Chandler couldn't believe that the truth would not hurt him. He was willing to be hurt as long as he still had Monica. He just had to know the whole of it before he could put it behind him. Otherwise, it just might eat him alive inside.
When he entered their apartment, he saw Monica on the balcony looking out on the city, hugging herself in an attempt to keep warm. Grabbing a blanket from the couch, Chandler walked over to the window and climbed out.
"Wrap this around you, Mon. It's freezing out here."
"Chandler, I'm glad you're back. We have to talk about this. You don't understand."
Wrapping the blanket around her, Chandler hugged Monica from behind and held on. "Sure babe. What is it you want to tell me?" Chandler closed his eyes and held on tight to Monica, bracing for the pain.
Monica, about to turn in his arms to face him, noticed his death grip. She wanted to cry. Her Chandler was in pain and it was all her fault. "Oh Chandler, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this sooner. I was just afraid I'd hurt you and I didn't want that and now I have hurt you…. But Chandler, honey, it's not what you think."
Chandler's eyes opened. "Not what I think? I think you wanted Joey and got stuck with me. Isn't that what happened?" Even though he tried to suppress it, bitterness came out in his voice.
"Sweetie, that's not what happened. Let's go inside so I can explain this properly." Grabbing his hand, Monica led Chandler to the big chair, set him down and sat on his lap. Unconsciously, he started playing with her hair. Monica tried to look him in the eyes, but he avoided her glance and concentrated on her hair. She just wanted to hold him but she knew that wouldn't fix this problem. Taking a deep breath, Monica began.
"Chandler when I came to your hotel room that night I was looking for Joey."
"OK, now I'm just confused. You just said…"
"Just listen, OK?" Monica gave Chandler her best I love you and everything is going to be fine smile. She knew this was going to start off badly, but if he would just listen, everything would turn out well.
"Yeah, OK, sorry."
"Now, as I was saying, I did come looking for Joey. I was thinking that having some stupid, meaningless sex would make me feel better. And I knew Joey could give me that. Easy in, easy out. No strings attached. That's Joey. I figured I could abandon my problems and just feel good by doing something bad. Know what I mean?"
Chandler opened his mouth to respond. "No, don't answer, just listen. When I got to your room and saw you there I was disappointed."
"Gee, great, I feel all better now. Look Mon, I'm not sure this…"
"Would you hush!" Monica snapped. "I'm sorry." Monica hugged him tight and he hugged her back. Still holding on to him she continued. "I wouldn't put you through this if it wasn't going to make thing better. I know it's not easy. That's why I never brought it up before. Now where was I? Oh yes, I was at your room, looking at you in those ridiculous pajamas." Chandler frowned at Monica but she pretended not to notice. "As soon as you said Joey wasn't around I was planning my escape but then you got to talking. There I was trying to ditch you and you were still trying to make me feel better! I felt unbelievably guilty and…something else. Something that made me want to kiss you and so I did! And what a kiss it was! I never wanted it to stop and I was kind of mad when you stepped out of it. I looked at you again and I didn't see my friend Chandler in his silly PJs, the one I wasn't looking for, and I didn't see someone to have a one night stand with. I saw someone who might just be something more. I was so afraid you were going to say no to me…but you didn't."
"Mon, how could you have thought that? Didn't you know how amazing I thought you were? I know I told you that even before London." Chandler sounded stunned by the things Monica was telling him. He couldn't believe she could ever worry that someone like him would reject someone like her.
"I thought you were either joking around or just trying to make me feel better. I never took you seriously." Monica was surprised that Chandler was telling her this. Even to this day, she had thought he was joking all those times. She would have to explore this more later. But now was not the time.
"Huh." Chandler frowned again. He couldn't decide if Monica was trying to make him feel better or worse.
"Don't you see? That night, it all changed. I was taking you seriously. Chandler, what happened in London wasn't about meaningless sex, or about you being runner up to Joey. It was about me accepting your offer of comfort and finding more than I bargained for. More than either of us bargained for." Monica noticed that Chandler had finally stopped playing with her hair.
"I love you, you know that?" Chandler was smiling now, although his eyes were suspiciously shiny.
"Yes, and I love you, you know that?" Monica returned his smile.
"I know. Mon, I'm sorry. I guess I overreacted. It's just that night means so much to me and thinking you might not feel the same, that you might have any regrets. It drove me a little crazy."
"A little?" Monica grinned at him.
"OK, a lot crazy." Chandler grinned back. He liked when she teased him. To him, to tease was to love.
"Chandler sweetie, it's fine. I understand your reaction. Like I said, that's why I never told you the truth. But just in case you still don't get it, let me tell you this. I didn't find what I had been looking for that night in London. I found what I had been looking for all my life."
Chandler couldn't speak. Instead, he pulled Monica into a big hug. He had come home expecting to be hurt and instead found what was always waiting for him; Monica's love. Finally, he got his voice back. "Maybe we should head back to the coffee house. I'm sure the guys are wondering what is going on."
"I have a better idea. Why don't we practice for the honeymoon first?"
"Yeah, baby!" Chandler got out of the chair, lifting Monica with him, and carried her into the bedroom.