Sorry it took so long to post this and I know its really small, but I warned you! And the next part will take even longer. Bwahahah! Anyway, enjoy. Oh yeah, if I get enough good reviews I maybe, maybe consider trying to post the next part faster, so reveiw please!
Lord of the Drugs
Three joints for the Smurven kings under the sky,even for the Midget lords on their johns of stone,
Nine for the mental men doomed to get high,
One for George W. Bush on his dark throne
In the land of Mexico where the crackheads lie.
One joint is cooler than all, one ring to grind them.
One ring to smoke them all, and in the darkness blind them.
The Gang of the Joint
Many years had passed, and in that time Bimbo had realized that not only did Hchakk's magic joint make you invisible, but it also lit itself whenever you put it into your mouth and stayed whole no matter how long or how many times you smoked it. It came in very useful whenever he wanted to get high or walk around his hole naked.
Eventually, Bimbo adopted his younger cousin, Homo Bagless, despite the protests of Homo's parents, who were, ironically, still alive.
On Bimbo's 111th birthday he had a great party and all the Hobos of New York City came and smoked each other's weed. Everyone was dreading the long speech that Bimbo would inevitably give at the end of the party: which he did.
"Honored and esteemed Hobos," he began, "the lot of you sicken me to the core! I hate every fiber of your being with every fiber of my being! The sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell of you make me want to vomit up something nearly as repulsive as yourselves! Even the flies think you smell bad! If I have to put up with the likes of you for one more moment, I shall vanish from the face of the Earth!" And he did.
All of the Hobos present were either too drunk or high to notice or care, and many began to heckle Homo for more booze. However, one person did notice. This was Gandalfag the Gay. Gandalfag was a great wizard, and since he had gone on the Great Andevinturer with Bimbo, he was the only one besides Homo who knew that Bimbo was smoking his magic joint and stumbling off to his hole to prepare for another long journey. So Gandalfag hopped on his horse and sped speedily after him.
Gandalfag found Bimbo hurriedly eating all the rats and snakes in the hole so that his relatives, the Crackville-Baglesses, could not steal them, as he was sure they would. "You are quite decided about this matter, are you?" he asked.
"Oh yesh," Bimbo answered through a mouth full of rat guts. "I wan to shee da mowans befow I die." He swallowed. "And the Smurves. And the little green Martians. Oh, how I miss those little green Martians."
"What about the Joint?" asked Gandalfag.
"This Joint?" said Bimbo, pulling it out of his left pocket. "Well I suppose that I'll bring it with me…Yes, I don't see why not."
"No, I don't think you should." Said Gandalfag. "There is something very screwy about that joint. I think you'd better leave it for Homo."
"Look punk, what part of 'I'm bringing it with me' do you not understand?"
"Oh, I don't know. Maybe the part that if you do, I'll beat your scrawny Bagless butt into the ground!"
Bimbo was about to respond, but at that moment Homo walked into the hole. "Hallo Bimbo," he said. "About ready to leave, I suppose."
"Er…yes," answered Bimbo. "And I have decided that in addition to the glorious wealth that I am about to leave to you, I will also give to you my most preciouss- er valuable item, my magic Joint." With that, he walked out of the hole, was promptly eaten by a wild animal, and never seen again until he mysteriously reappeared in a later chapter.