I'll Be
Chapter Four
Jason looked up at Sonny; his eyes painted a picture of despair and anguish. "Jason, I can't help if you don't tell be what is going on. Did you see Elizabeth?" Jason dropped his head. Bingo.
Jason began to talk; Sonny could barely make out the words. "I want these feelings to go away. Why can't I make them go away?"
"Man... You had to know that she was still getting over losing Lucky. Why did you come back?" Sonny was worried about his friend. One thing Jason and him had in common was there bad luck in relationships. But Jason had only opened his heart to Robin and Michael, until now. Even Sonny cringed remembering that his happiness with Carly had started with his betrayal of Jason. He didn't deserve all the pain that others inflicted on him.
"I...I don't know how to explain it. Somewhere in my mind, I fooled myself into believing that it was my turn to be happy. That I done the right thing by leaving, but when he died it was a sign."
"I have never heard you talk like that," It was true. Jason was not a dreamer. He could only deal with what was happening in the present, not long term. "Did you tell her about how you felt?"
Jason stood up then and his voice became more demanding and loud. He threw up his arms in frustration, "How could I Sonny? Oh, I am sorry that the love of your life is dead, but I love you so forget about him." Jason stopped in his tracks; He had never said those words out loud about Liz. I love you. He could tell be the stunned expression on Sonny's face that he had picked up on it too.
Sonny still had a look of disbelief when Jason started to talk again. "Then seeing her again, I know that she was happy to see me, but she needs me to protect and comfort her, not love her."
"Shouldn't that be my decision?" Jason and Sonny swiftly turned their heads to see Elizabeth standing in the door.
Johnny didn't have to even look at Sonny to know he would hear about this later. His voice was shaky, "Miss Webber, sir."
No one spoke, Sonny looked at them and they looked at each other. Sonny might as well have not been there. Only when Sonny made a B-Line for the door did Jason break their gaze. "Sonny we will leave. Carly will be back soon, and well, she and Liz...you know."
Sonny nodded his understanding. Jason went to pick up his jacket on the couch. He was taking his own sweet time about it, so Sonny took the opportunity to say something to Liz. "I am truly sorry for everything you have been through," Sonny lowered his voice even more, "but he needs to know how you feel, and if being honest with him means hurting him, do it anyway. "
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There was an uncomfortable silence between them. Elizabeth kept hearing Jason's words echoing in her head. Out of instinct they had both headed for his motorcycle. There was no turning back now. She had heard Jason say that he loved her and he knew it. She held on to him wondering if he was as scared as she was of what could happen at the end of their ride.
Jason could feel her heartbeat. She was holding on so tight, not that he minded. Jason held no hope that anything Liz was going to say to him he would like. He was coming close to the bridge, most of his good times as well as the bad had happened here. Why change that now?
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He helped her off the bike. She didn't let go of his hand; instead she led him onto the bridge. When she turned around he was standing inches away and Liz could feel the warmth of him all the way through her body.
"Jason..." He put his finger over her lips.
"Shhh....I think I should go first." Jason was calmer now; it was amazing the effect this place had on him. It was so peaceful out here he only had to whisper for her to hear his words. "When I left the studio this morning I was so confused. I was trying to change the way I felt and I couldn't. I wanted to be able to hold you and make your pain over losing Lucky go away;" this honesty about feeling stuff was for the birds. Why did it have to be so hard? "Instead all I could feel was anger that I couldn't just hold you because I loved you."
A single tear escaped from his eyes. Liz gently brushed it away. "Jase, it's okay. " Her tears had started to come as well. She could tell that this was hard for him, "Go on."
"I do you know...love you...I have from the first time I heard you describe the wind. Even though I couldn't imagine it myself, you painted it in my mind when you talked about it." Jason was getting a little braver. "But it hurt too much to love you when I knew your heart was somewhere else."
Jason had evaded her eyes when he finished talking. She tenderly placed her hand on his cheek and forced him to look at her. "Is it my turn now?" She only gave him time to quietly nod; she could see the dread in his eyes, when she placed her hand on the back of his neck and with very little effort pulled Jason down to kiss her.
There was too much desire between them for it to be gentle. Liz had heard his declaration of love and knew that she had to show him how she felt first, words would come later.
Jason and Liz were both breathless when they pulled away from each other, still only inches separated their bodies. Jason ran his hands over her face, with a longing in his eyes he didn't have to hide anymore. "Maybe I should have let you go first after all."
Liz smiled, "I tried to tell you, but you had to have it your way." She gave him a quick little kiss and started to walk off the bridge.
"And where do you think you are going?"
"Well, if you must know, I had a friend who used to bring me here when I was sad and this friend, which will remain nameless..."
"Of course, was he a handsome guy? Kind of rugged and dangerous? I think I might now him."
"ANYWAY..." Liz had led him to the statue of the woman, where he had found her the night before crying. "This friend left me to find my own way, but not before he gave me this sanctuary to come when I needed to feel safe... and loved."
Jason studied her face as she spoke, it was like a dream to think that he had given her as much as she had given him. Something made him wonder if she had felt the same pain he did when she had left with Lucky that night.
As if Liz could sense his need for answers, she replied "Jason, I didn't come here last night to cry over Lucky. I came here because this was the only place I had to be close to you." Liz felt the tears begin again. "I needed you....I cried for you."
Jason took her in his arms. And with every bit of strength he could find, he whispered in her ear, "Are you sure you know what you are saying? Is this what you want?"
She moved enough to see his eyes. "Jason, I am telling you that I love you, that I want you in my life, not because I need comforting or protecting, but because I need you to love me."
"Liz, I am thinking that that is not going to be a problem."
"Hmm...that is what I wanted to hear."
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Authors Note: This is the end of the story I am afraid. This is my first FanFic and I am still a little unsure of how to finish a story but this was more of a character story for me. Not so much plot and drama. I am trying to do better on my other story. Thanks for all the reviews. Mssassy