Sparkles of Desire, Lights of Joy

by Youshi Semenjyu

Duo is experiencing emotional problems due to his love for a certain blond Arabian. But from the shadows, Quatre comes to his aid...(2x4..what? did you expect something else?)

Sparkles of Desire, Lights of Joy

By DuoLordOfDeath

Disclaimer: I'm just an innocent lil yaoi writer…why would I own Gundam Wing when I can't even get a summer job?

          'Each morning, it's the same...he unknowingly tortures me with his sweet smile as he makes tea, his deep blue eyes sparkling with the light, the sun pouring from the open window, glinting against his soft blond hair. It's torture, because I know that he will always be out of my reach...'
Duo's thoughts trailed off as he lay in his bed, his face hidden from the morning sun's golden rays by his blanket. His black boxers were twisted uncomfortably, and his usually tidy braid was an unbound mess of tangles across his pillow.
         'I can't experience that again...no one can ever be close to me...not now, not ever...not as the shadow of Shinigami looms over me, cursing me with his cold stare...'
          He sighed, and closed his eyes. He silently hoped that no one would come to check on him. But, thanks to Duo's rotten luck, his silence was shattered as his bedroom door opened, closed, and the slight tinkle of a tea tray against his bureau sounded. The voice of the intruder made Duo wince in sadness.
          "Duo? You didn't come down for breakfast...are you alright?" A kind alto voice asked, sitting next to Duo on the bed.
           "...mmph..." Duo mumbled. 'Better not let him see me like this...he'll suspect something...', he thought. He easily put on a grin and dragged the covers from over his head. He stared up into Quatre's gentle blue eyes, and inside felt an all too familiar yearning.
          "Yeah, Quatre, I'm just peachy. I just overslept, that's all."
          "Oh. Well, I brought you breakfast. Mind if I join you for a few?" Quatre gestured to the tea tray, which had a small pot of tea, two cups, and a plate of blueberry pancakes, Duo's favorite.
Duo shook his head, his unbound hair gently whipping across his cheeks. "No, not at all, Q-man!"
          Quatre smiled, and Duo felt his covered knees quake. He silenced them as Quatre turned to retrieve the tray. Duo watched him step across the room, ever so carefully, his khaki pants rustling slightly, and he marveled at the grace that the Arabian possessed. It was another thing that bothered Duo. It was another reason why he felt that Quatre could never love him. He was just a "Big Clumsy Doofus", as a certain Chinese boy had once quipped. Duo also felt that Quatre would only love someone that had as much grace and talent as he, and that was Trowa. Quatre was always with him, playing gorgeous violin and flute duets that echoed melodiously throughout the Winner Estate. Each day, they practiced for hours, and Duo would sit in his room down the hall, thinking and listening to the lovely strains, wishing to be in Trowa's shoes.
           By this time, Quatre had arrived back at the bedside and was pouring the steaming tea into the cups. He quietly handed Duo his cup, and his hand briefly brushed against Duo's own. Oh, how Duo longed to hold those soft, graceful hands in his own. Quatre smiled again as Duo began to drink, and handed him the plate of pancakes.
          "Quatre, where's yours?"
          "Oh, Trowa and I already ate."
           Duo silently nodded, his heart aching.
          "But what about Heero and Wufei?"
          Quatre gave him a quizzical and humored look. "Don't you remember? They left for their mission!"
          "Oh yeah, it must've slipped my mind..."
          Quatre blanched. "They've been gone for about...two months..."
          Duo sweatdropped and laughed nervously, covering the effect Quatre's words had given, " 'Trowa and I already ate' " '....Trowa...'
          Quatre chuckled, and arose. "Well, I guess I'll leave you be. I have chores to do. See you later, Duo!"
         "Yeah, Quatre! Bye!"
          Duo's smile faded as he watched the door close and heard the footfalls down the stairs, he sighed.            "At least you are happy, Quatre...I'm glad that you are finally happy..."

         Quatre walked into the kitchen where Trowa sat, still drinking coffee and reading the Daily Comics.
          "How'd it go?" he asked quietly, sitting his cup on the table.
          "Well, he was oddly...quiet for Duo, like something was bothering him..."
          Trowa nodded. "Did you tell him?"
          Quatre blushed slightly and sank into a chair.
          "Well...I.."
          You did? That's good. What did he say?"
         "Well...I didn't...exactly tell him..."
          Trowa rolled his eyes. "Quatre, how long will you wait?"
          Quatre sighed. "How am I supposed to do this? What am I supposed to say? I can't just waltz up to him, smile, blurt out, "I love you, Duo!" and kiss him passionately. It just doesn't work that way..." He groaned and put a hand to his forehead.
          Trowa sighed and nodded. "Quatre, you'll know when the right time comes, and when it does, the words will come. Trust me." The tall pilot stood and folded the paper. "I'll be in the hangar with Heavyarms if you need me, alright?"
          Quatre nodded. "Alright."
          Trowa faintly smiled and disappeared around the corner, leaving the Arabian in peace. Quatre sat there for a while, thinking about the various reactions he might get from the American. Some of them made him chuckle. But it had always seemed that Duo had fallen for the stern Heero. Quatre secretly wondered why. They were complete opposites. Duo was vivacious, with violet eyes that sparkled with radiance and joy. He was always smiling, even in the heat of battle. Heero was cold, and assassin trained to have no emotions, even to his friends. His eyes were filled with cold anger and fury.
          It was well past noon when Quatre began to worry about Duo. He hadn't seen him since around 9:00 that morning when he had brought him breakfast, and it was now 3:00. The blond pilot stood and slowly walked up to Duo's room.

          "I'm just a wishful fool! I can't jeopardize his life like I did with everyone else I've ever loved...Father Maxwell...Sister Helen...Solo...Hilde...no one can be allowed to love me...because everyone who's ever loved me...has perished...and I can't let that happen to you, Quatre..." Duo slammed his fist into the facing wall in frustration and anger. "How I wish I could love you without fear..."

          Quatre stood outside Duo's door, silently hearing the lament of the distraught American. He was in shocked surprise at his seemingly jovial comrade's pains, wants, and desires. Trowa's words floated back to him softly. 'Quatre, you'll know when the right time comes, and when it does, the words will come.'
Quatre took a breath and slowly and quietly opened Duo's door and entered, unnoticed. Duo's back was facing him, and he was an unsightly mess. His hair was haphazardly braided; stray wisps stuck out all the way down the crooked plait. His clothes were wrinkled, his shirt hanging halfway tucked in. On his feet were a pair of wrinkled dirty socks, and his right fist was bloodied from impact upon the wall he faced. He kept mumbling soft, angry self-accusations, his forehead leaned against the wall. His back heaved slightly with staggered breaths of sorrow.
          "Duo..." Quatre whispered.
          Duo gasped and whirled around, a blush reddening his cheeks.
          "Quatre!"
         Quatre said nothing, but walked softly over to Duo as he removed his dark purple vest. He took Duo's bloodied appendage in his gentle hands and brought it to his lips. He gently kissed an unharmed area and began to wrap the vest around the wound.
         Duo watched in silent awe as Quatre finished his work and took his hands into his own.
          "There...that should suffice until we can get a real bandage," Quatre said softly. He smiled gently into Duo's fearful violet eyes.
          "You...heard everything...didn't you?" Duo looked away, the blush of shame darkening.
          Quatre touched Duo's cheek gently, bringing the American's gaze back to meet his own. "Duo...tell me...why couldn't you love me without fear? I...love you without...fear..."
          Duo's eyes widened in realization at Quatre's sensitive words, then his looked away again.
          "Because..," he began, "I'll get you killed...my love is lethal...and if one more person that I care for is killed...then I couldn't bear it...and besides...you have Trowa..."
          Quatre almost laughed. "You thought Trowa and I were together? Oh, Duo...how long have you believed that?"
          Duo shrugged nonchalantly.
          "Well, Duo...he's just my best friend...I tell him everything...even that I loved you...in fact, it was his idea to bring you breakfast this morning when you didn't come down."
          "But still, Quatre," Duo said, pulling away from Quatre's gentle grasp, "I can't let you die...I seem to be cursed by the touch of death...everyone I've ever loved for has died...horribly....which is why I can never let anyone ever love me..."
          Quatre looked Duo in the eyes firmly.
          "And I intend to break that curse."
           Before Duo could react, Quatre leaned forward and pressed his lips to the American's. He wrapped his arms needily around the longhaired pilot.
           Duo's adrenaline shot through his body as he felt the Arabian's soft lips against his own, but just as quickly, it receded into passion, a feeling that had been pent up inside the two pilots for so long. Duo kissed back, softly at first, then stronger. As he felt Quatre's lips widen, he followed, and tenderly tasted the blond's sweet saliva, gently accepted the deep caress.
           Slowly and reluctantly, they parted, and gazed silently into each other's eyes. Both felt a great release, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Duo smiled softly at Quatre, who was already smiling.
           "Thank you, Quatre...thank you..."
           "What else could I have done?" Quatre answered quietly. He looked at his watch and smiled.
           "Duo...it's time for Trowa and I to practice."
            Duo nodded. "Then I'll leave you be."
          "Wait...Duo...you play the piano, don't you?"
           Duo blushed. "How did you know about that?"
          "Because I heard you playing one night...it was very lovely. Who taught you?"
           Duo's blush deepened. "Mostly, I taught myself...but Sister Helen, my caretaker at the orph-uh, cathedral, helped me a bunch..."
           "Wow, that's amazing. Would you like to play with Trowa and I? We just got the grand piano tuned."
           "Uh, yeah...I kinda noticed..."
           Quatre smiled broader. "So you'll play with us?"
           Duo sighed, and for the first time in a long time, grinned whole-heartedly. "Only if you bandage my hand first."
          "All right. And when you're better, you can patch up the wall you took out."
Duo blanched. "Oh, fine, then."

          Trowa sat in his chair near the piano, tuning his flute. His music sat upon his stand, and he gazed up at Quatre's violin case, which sat upon the piano bench. He wondered why Quatre was late, but dismissed it as a mere case of carelessness, which were rare with the Arabian, but they happened nonetheless.
          Just then, as Trowa was about to place the headpiece to his lips to play, Quatre poked his head in with a smile. Trowa smiled back slightly.
           "You're late, Mr. Winner."
           "I know. I'm sorry. Uhm, Trowa, would you mind if we had a piano accompaniment today?"
           "No, not at all. Who did you bring?"
          Quatre smiled, and disappeared behind the door again. Trowa waited patiently, and wondered why he seemed so excited.
          Suddenly, Quatre walked back in, a slight blush across his cheeks. His hand was clasped deeply within Duo's, who was blushing as well, and a flood of thoughts invaded Trowa's mind. 'Where's Quatre's vest? And they both seem so happy...Quatre must've told him...I'll have to ask him later...wait a second...Duo Maxwell can play the piano??' Trowa managed to keep a solemn face as Quatre got his violin out and Duo calmly sat at the piano.
           "I'm, uh, injured, so my playing won't be very good..." Duo replied, waving his injured hand at Trowa.
           "Well, play your best. Here," Quatre said, handing Duo a quite difficult piece of music. Trowa looked at Quatre quizzically, wondering why he would give Duo such a complicated piece.
"Thanks, Quatre...let me warm up on this piece real quick..." He glanced at the music for a few minutes, then put his fingers to the ivory keys. With a breath, his fingers took off, playing over the speedy sixteenth notes without another thought. Trowa silently focused on Quatre, surprised, (Although he'd never show it.)
          As Duo finished, he sighed, and looked up from the music. "How was that?"
          "Perfect...wow..."Quatre said. Trowa nodded in agreement. "Well, Trowa, let's join him!"
          Trowa smiled, and the flute and violin joined the piano in harmonious union.
          They played for three hours, from Mozart to Bach to Handel. each piece more lovely that the next.   As they finished, Duo smiled fondly at the piano and ran a hand across the cherrywood finish. "I haven't played that much since I was nine...maybe I'll join you guys a bit more often!"
           "Feel free to anytime, Duo," Trowa replied as he put his flute up. "I'm going to go order some take-out Chinese, if that's alright."
           "Sure! I haven't eaten since nine this morning! I'm starved!" Duo cried.
           Trowa smiled. "Quatre, could I have a word with you?" He led the Arabian out into the hall and closed the door. Duo stood and walked over to the balcony doors. He let out his messy braid and let his long hair hang down freely. He decided that he would fix t later. He quietly opened the doors and walked out to gaze up into the darkening sky. He smiled at the moon, and the slowly appearing stars.
           "No more shall I let you haunt me, Shinigami."

            Trowa looked at Quatre and put a hand on his shoulder.
           "You told him?"
            Quatre blushed and smiled. "Yes I did.."
            Trowa's small smile broadened slightly. "What happened?"
          "Well, he loved me too, but was afraid to...for fear of my death...he felt that he was cursed by death..."
          "Well, I hope you prove him wrong. I'm ordering dinner now...perhaps you should go talk to him."
            Quatre nodded, and watched Trowa walk silently down the stairs. He then turned and walked back into the drawing room. He noticed that Duo was gone. He looked around, and a slight waving caught his eye. He looked towards the balcony, and saw Duo standing there, his now unbound hair waving gently with the cool night wind. He was gazing at the stars.
          Quatre walked towards him and quietly opened the doors. Duo turned to him and smiled. Quatre walked fully onto the balcony and joined Duo in his gazing. He put a strong, almost protective arm around Duo and drew him in nearer.
          "Aren't they lovely?" The Arabian asked gently.
           Duo nodded, and turned to look at the blond pilot. He smiled as Quatre gently caressed his cheek with his soft hands. He leaned forward and tenderly kissed the American. He held Duo in his arms for a few moments, cherishing this one moment under the stars.
          "Quatre...you know what I see when I look at the stars?"
          "What?"
          "I see an endless vastness of tiny sparkles, burning with their desire to live...that they can live out their long lives in peace...kind of like the colonies and Earth..." Duo looked into Quatre's eyes, fathomless and glimmering in the moonlight.
          "You know what I see?"
           Duo waited, his hair whipping silently in the wind.
          "I see the lights of a deep love, a joy of life and of love..."
           Duo nodded. "Yeah..I think you're right..."

~*Owari*~